Mutant's Evolution

[MutationOfAtom]

 

Progress Report: October13^th  to November 22^nd

 

 

Visualization/Imposition

 Ever since Magick changed her form, it was a bit difficult to get her image down again, but I think I've finally got through it. It’s on the same level as it was before. I can imagine her walking beside me, sitting on my desk, or the seat next to me on the bus. It has come to the point where I sometimes look back on those moments and see her inserted in those memories.  

 

Another side effect of this is that she exhibits more random movement, meaning that when I am interacting with her in the mind or reality, she makes sudden movements with her hands, eyes, arms, etc. It would feel like “someone did that,” where did that come from? What I’m trying to get at is that it feels more lifelike than before.

 

I have also noticed her mind voice is becoming more distinct more often, even when I don’t concentrate on it, if  I’m just relaxing. It has also become what I can describe as louder. Sometimes, she would be saying something, and I would think, “Was I mouthing that?” I found I wasn’t, since I was eating, or I had to be quiet, or I was in a lecture, or the voice didn’t sound right. It was stressing me out, as I was thinking, did someone hear that, or was I mouthing my conversation in hush tones in front of people? Maybe, eventually, we can get audio imposition.

 

 

 

Wonderland

 

Okay, so we haven’t been developing the Wonderland much other than making the computer and the symbolic devices connected to it more powerful to assist in imposition.

 

For example, Magick created one that can assist in touch, if I remember correctly, and we have gotten some more consistent feelings about each other's bodies when we touch each other, but still just light, phantom-feather touches on a regular basis, with my limited practicing time. Since then, we created more to help all our senses. I think that was actually the best thing that has happened so far. Because when she makes me feel good, it doesn’t feel right, as I think I don’t know how to make her feel the same way. She says the feelings she feels and gives are byproducts of us spending time together, so, in a roundabout way, I am making her happy. However, I wanted to make sure that she wasn’t just trying to say that to be nice. So, with the taste device, I can transfer the taste of food to her.  So, when I was eating some pudding, she got really excited at the actual taste of it because usually she says the flavors have a dull sensation or no sensation if she blocks it out while not switched.  I’m glad that it worked, because I know it gives her joy when I do it.

 

With the taste, she can also feed me mental foods, like jams, to practice this connection, which, when it happened, amazed me, as I didn’t expect her to start doing that, and I actually started tasting the ghost flavors.

 

We also began working on the memory palace using the method of loci. It took me a while to think about how to start, because using an old children's home, a school, or any real-life place seems boring to me, especially if I had to map it out. So, when I ask Magick to try to obtain some information that I had forgotten, she(we?) imagined the collective memory bank to be underwater, and the information was semi-glowing kelp. That’s when I came up with the idea to use that as the setting for the palace.  It's a bit confusing for me to explain it in further detail, as we are still finalizing everything, but I think this is the key for us to start on it.

 

Overview

So, school has been making me want to crash out. Honestly, having Magick just talk to me, calm down, take a break from studying, or point out things I am understanding in my studies has helped somewhat, even though I still want to throw my textbook and computer across the room in those moments.

 

School has also put a damper on my meditation schedule, so I rarely get time except around bedtime, but I fall asleep easily if I do it then. But that’s the stem’s major life.  

 

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about my future with Magick. I don’t think I’ll stop, slow down maybe, but I won’t stop. The goal is to essentially create a separate identity, a person, which requires some separation to an extent, and a lot of time. and things that belong solely to her and me. I don’t know how deeply that will impact us, but that is the goal. When I talk to others, there seems to be a disconnect, at least in the Discord communities. So many ideas of what separation is, what's real, what's not real. I feel more inclined to aim for this forum's version of tulpamancy than I do some of the modern ones, but they also have a great grounding and critical thinking aspect that really helps you become introspective.  I guess a balance of the two is needed, and that’s what I want to be honest.

 

 

Like Magic is very different from what I imagined it to be. She’s not wild, not loud, argumentative, boastful, or even inclined to talk to others that much, except for a few, with whom she wants to chat a few times before becoming satisfied. She has said to me that maybe she's the quiet that I needed in my head to talk to. This could be true, as my family has described me as being Krypto from the Superman(2025) movie. And she can be very calm and nonchalant about subjects I want to discuss or argue, but she simply says, “I don’t really care about that.” It's very different from what I hear from others, who describe their tulpa as being banter pals, but it is what it is.

 

(It's not like I don’t like discussing things with him; it’s more like a lot of the stuff they want to talk about just stresses him out, and I don’t see the point in engaging in it. We talk about cooler things, anyway, like how no one has free will!-Magick)

 

It's strange when she suddenly wants to really say something to me or others. My head begins to feel light, and my body starts to experience these wavy sensations. But, yeah, apparently from her perspective, we talk a lot, I guess it's not things I expect we will be talking about.  However, I’m not sure if this is a time issue or if it is just how she is. Again, maybe she is that aspect given life.

[MutationOfAtom]

Progress Report: November 22^nd – January 3rd

 

Visualization/Imposition:

Not much has changed in visualization quality, but it has increased in quantity.  Meaning images, WL, and Magick form has become pretty clear if I focus for a short amount of time and it can last longer with more immersion. It has become so prevalent that sometimes she makes a mental movement that I don’t register until a few seconds later like randomly holding my hand with just a slight phantom touch that lasts a few seconds or simply just walking with me or appearing on my bed a lot more.  

 

Even our young Memory Palace and WL room has a more permanent feel to it. Like, I look around and boom it’s there, everything in its place.

 

More on imposition. I find meditating to the point where I feel vibrations or at least “cleared” headed and focus on her form gives me more consistent results; I can see her outline of her body sometimes or I get more shadowy forms that she does not associate with, and sometimes when I pull these shadows hands their arms and bodies will follow.

 

Touch and smell, though, are tough. We don’t use the symbolic devices for that anymore. I just imagine us as auras and feel around until I get something which has proved fruitful, but I don’t know If I need to think of new way to expedite the progress such as lucid dreaming.

 

I’ve been reading “The-Tibetan-Yogas-Of-Dream-And-Sleep” and it is essentially a guide on how to have clear light dreams in order to become aware that waking life is just another dream in order to obtain enlightenment at death. The book is very interesting, especially if you're trying to do lucid dreaming and an eye-opener as some of these concepts such as making Yidams or Dakinis(spiritual deities or guides to help to obtain this clear light dream). They tell you have to visualize and pray to them so they come to life and help you in waking life and the dream—a guide on how to make a tulpa if you don’t include the absorbing it in the end and don’t make it have a separate ego. Also, goes a bit into imposition with Yab-Yums, buts that of more sexual nature. To me, it’s amazing how a 20 plus year old book disconnected from tulpamancy have similar talking points.

Like, it tells you in order to experience another you must be aware of yourself. That’s obvious when your with another but with tulpamancy it is becoming apparent how important that is to me. Cool stuff.

 

Possession/switching:

Everytime she possesses I get a sharp throb  on the left side of my temple or a pressure around my forehead. I’m sure it’s not due to dehydration or sleep, as I can be totally fine before and when we do it, 1, 5,  or 10 minutes later when are done with the practice, it starts. It got really annoying during midterms and finals as one of them lasted 30 minutes, but I assume that was a combination of this and the stress. Someone suggested I should go to the doctor as it could be a migraine; might just have to do that.

 

The switching; I have been writing notes in my journal about it  and it always starts when  her thoughts become the dominant one, while mine’s are in the back and sometimes a more quite/softer like hers sometime. I expected it to become more disconnected from the senses a bit more and if not immediately as time goes on it will happened. I talked to some discord guy who’ve been doing this for about 15 years and he said that, yeah, the dominant thing is consider a switch in his eyes as you’re not really suppose to be gone like the tulpas aren’t  gone unless you’re not on them or there not focused on themselves, and  still you’re not supposed to be a complete blank, memories/perception are shared. Honestly, I just want to see what people mean to just be vibing or they feel like they are being wrapped in a blanket when doing these things.

 

Maybe I’m not doing enough in order to dissociate  from my body senses better, as I tried to use some meditation to relax myself and use visualization to do it  but all I get at best is a fuzzy feeling and when she switches or possessed me at best it’s like me seeing my body do things I wouldn’t normally or don’t want to do. Me only allowing it  to occur for about 10 minutes or less is probably the issue as well.

I know it’s something we’re doing as her perspective and mannerisms are expressed clearly despite my embarrassment shock to it. And her emotions are more apparent to the body  so emotional  bleed throughs don’t need to occur.

Overview:

Magick and I have been discussing a lot more lately on thoughts and associations to them.  One time I thought she said something(but it wasn’t her), like I often do and she straight out said I don’t claim that. This made me ponder because the longer I do this I realize that everything in the mind is not me or doesn’t have to be me if I choose so. I don’t know if I said this before but I believe we’re both complex self-aware patterns of associations to habits and thinking; I’m just a bigger, stronger pattern as I’ve been here longer.

 

And once we start to think about these things in earnest, she is learning, I guess, to resist my influence to her thoughts/patterns frequently and actually observe and feel her own thoughts more often, and, in return, I can too.

 

This revelation made me proud and happy, that she was able to do this, but kind of scared. As, in wow, something  else there, she’s there, and she keeps growing slowly, but steadily.  

 

Edited January 5 by MutationOfAtom

[MutationOfAtom]

It has been a while since I last made a post due to school, stress, and my falling for distractions. But, I still have been trying to improve our visualization and imposition skills, although I have not gained as much as I wanted. Instead, I have learned lessons and frameworks that should propel me forward in my endeavors. I’m not going into them now as I’ll do that for future posts.

 

What I have also learned is gratefulness. Gratefulness for things I have, for the place I'm in right now, and for my tulpa Magick. I really need to put more time in for her, because I really enjoy it and she really deserves it. She has grown a lot, and I think she’s in a current growth spurt right now in terms of personality. It has a lot of conflicting flavors, and I'm getting wonky arguments that she is having with herself. But she wants this  so I’m observing and learning.

 

It's also almost her birthday (He’s going to make cheesecake for me ~ Magick), and I’m going to try to draw her the best way I can.

I still can't believe it's almost been a year.

[KarlYoshimura]

Been nearly fourteen years for us.

I'm really happy you and Magick have gotten along so well, and your words on being grateful ring more true to me now than they did when I began.

I hope you enjoy your cheesecake, Magick. Happy early birthday and may God bless you both.

PS I like your avatar. Anything with Joshua Graham is an instant favourite.

[Shaula]

On 5/27/2026 at 2:23 AM, MutationOfAtom said:

What I have also learned is gratefulness. Gratefulness for things I have, for the place I'm in right now, and for my tulpa Magick. I really need to put more time in for her, because I really enjoy it and she really deserves it. She has grown a lot, and I think she’s in a current growth spurt right now in terms of personality. It has a lot of conflicting flavors, and I'm getting wonky arguments that she is having with herself. But she wants this  so I’m observing and learning.

 

Definitely a good thing to learn. There's a lot to be grateful for that is very easy to take for granted. I don't know everything but I do you and your tulpa existing together is something to always be grateful for. I'm sure you two always look out for each and make a lot of great memories! 😊 

 

On 5/27/2026 at 2:23 AM, MutationOfAtom said:

It's also almost her birthday (He’s going to make cheesecake for me ~ Magick), and I’m going to try to draw her the best way I can.

I still can't believe it's almost been a year.

 

Happy early/on time/late birthday! 😊 🎂 🎉 Cheesecake is soooooo good! I really hope she enjoys/enjoyed it! 😊 

 

Yeah, time sure slips by. I can't believe we've been on here longer than a year either. 

[MutationOfAtom]

@KarlYoshimuraYO thanks and 14 years is imnpressive, and yeah FNV and Graham are goated.

@Shaula And thanks to you too and hopefully the cheesecake is on point lol

 

[MutationOfAtom]

So early this week I took about 1.5 grams of dried mushrooms for the first time, and me and Magick semi-tripped.

So, it started when I heard two voices coming from her. 1 voice was the current and the other was my original idea of a tulpa. I always had the other one as a possible another tulpa in the future, but I couldn’t see the time, and some of these things Magick was already exhibiting, so we decided to allow her to ‘consume’ the idea of the og tulpa. Me taking the mushrooms just  highlighted what was going.

 

 Shortly after that she went away and I was bed with this presence; I was getting upset as I was unable to talk to Magick and I believed I just messed myself up into not having a productive trip with her. I was wrong. This presence starting to morph into my og idea tulpa form which was just human made up of a thousand cockroaches and she started saying she was Magcik but not magick and she wasn’t going to let me talk to Magick unless I let go of my own restrictions and for that, she would have to kill me and eat my heart.

Shen then started to tell me these stories of blood and gore and what she would do do to me due her frustration with for getting in my own way. During the peak, she drove a knife through my chest and I helped her, I helped open the ribcage and rip out my own heart and gave her to eat.

 

I was depleted after that, and that’s when Magick came back. We dance for what felt like hours and it was good. We fought knights and warriors and all that fun stuff, but then she started to get upset when the “fusion” was done. She wanted to play around and turned into a million spiders and started eating me, tearing me apart from the outside and inside, sometimes she would pop out of my chest like xenomorph. And everytime I doubted the experience, saying no way “you” did that and  she would just do it again over and over. She even turned me into fly to be devoured by her as a spider.  This is not sexual. Although I felt no physical pain, this was very uncomfortable; it hurt in a way I can't explain. It was like watching an invisible force of a lion and knowing that your neck will be in its maw soon. And afterward, she just demanded to be hugged, to be loved. It was crazy. But when I did hug her it felt so good.

 

And the possession, she possessed throughout the whole thing, and she felt like a demon. My body twist and convulsed. I think when people say shrooms open you up to demons, this is what they mean, but they have no tulpa to relate to or even understand this other force.

 

I believed this trip taught me a lot and so did Magick. It had a lot of themes like the fear of death, the fear of neglect. And in her own way, she told me stories through my body to get over these things. Also, my fear of her and her fear of herself is about gone. Now I know she can’t hurt me maliciously. Those shroom visualizations were her doing; it was the mind, and therefore “me” in a way. It's weird to explain, but we both felt at peace at the end.

 

______

Saw a movie a couple of weeks ago called " Obsession ". Warning spoilers are ahead. It basically monkey paw movie where the MC wishes for the girl he likes to be obsessed over him and instead of doing justhat, it makes a subservient identity in this woman   that takes control of her body and just wants to love and please the MC. Later on in the movie we see the woman trying to break free and when the company who mad ethe wishing products  asked him does he want to hear the original, we only hear  screaming through.

 

It was very Tulpa-coded as  this  entity sort of like a Tulpa in sense, a warped, evil version of it, but still a Tulpa. I think the movie is a lesson of  taking it too far. You shouldn’t push to places that are going to hurt you, get obsessed in a sense. I mean you need that in a sense for a tulpa. A lot of time, a lot of effort,  but the pain, the suffering, that was what Magick was trying to teach me.  We don’t need all of that, to explore each other. All we have to do is just do it. That’s it, and that’s one of the reasons she was tearing me apart. To show me what the point of all this drama and all these theatrics is, we can just hug, dance, and do whatever is right. There are no conditions to what we do, so why make them up?

I really enjoyed that trip.