DjscrwU December 14, 2012 December 14, 2012 ITT: My personal journal in which I am recording my experiences with my first Tulpa. I am assuming no one will ever read this, probably not even myself. If you are reading this, well stop. It's boring and totally irrelevant to your life. Also ITT: Personal subjects, might as well be totally honest. Facts: My Tulpa is the overused Fluttershy. I started three weeks ago. I force an average of 8 hours a day, with some days off. (Do the math) I believe without a doubt, haters can hate. Methods used: Forcing, Wonderland, Void, Lucid Dreaming, Narration, Visualization, Parroting, Theta Beats, Servitors, Proxy, etc. oooohk first post. couple notes. grammar will suck from here on in. time frames dont really matter as i'm probly covering 5-10 forcing hours per post. i will entitle categories, but there are no particular order. i may also end posts with questions but probably not. VISUALIZATION first day, visualization. spent a week and a half deciding on form. couldn't get fluttershy out of my head. sure why not. pictured her easily. a lot of trouble with hind legs, face and wings, though. parroted her a ton. WONDERLAND started with an empty town-square type thing. wore fluttershy like a backpack (inspired by CyberD). big fancy fountain thing in middle... dunno why just feels right. tried creating things. made a tree house off to the side. big, detailed, but didn't bother going inside. took like 3 seconds. got bored, left. NARRATING talked to her all day. wore her like a backpack through work, after work, everything. told her what i was doing and why i did everything. no response, no movement. my mind seems to make her just sit there and smile constantly. 3 more hours of forcing based on the guides. bed. day2 NARRATING all day... again. wore her backpack style to work. confessed her existence to my best friend. didn't tell him what she was though, rather embarrassing. he was totally on board with the idea, but didn't care to get involved himself. FORCING solid 5 hour force. while cooking i'd put her on the counter in front of me and talk directly to her. no answers. parroted for about an hour of the 5 to keep myself from feeling insane. (wait, which is insane again?) VISUALIZATION pictured her in my bed, sleeping beside me. she just looks at me and smiles. well, if i'm doing this right, at least she seems happy. SIDE NOTE day1 and 2 totally boring, totaled to 14-15 hours of being aware. not discouraged. this takes time. i still assume i will need 98 more days before i see any real results at this point. day3 FORCING she speaks! did she? i'm not sure. it's so soon. how is it possible? i doubt myself. you who is probably not reading this, do you doubt me on day 3? no, no doubt. continue forcing. she mumbles, but does not say words. still smiles and sits still. NARRATING same backpack through work as previous 2 days, no response (now it gets cool) WONDERLAND got away from the world for a bit. went to wonderland. only had an hour or so but i really focused hard. placed her on the ground in the middle of the town square thingy. she looks around. i am not forcing this. she gets up. she flies up. does some circles. lands again. sees my tree house. she looks off to another empty area, a spire rises out of the ground in the air. a spiral staircase seems to unfold from the spire itself. it grows branches, then leaves, then.. a deck? windows?! a pool!!! she copied me, and outdid my creation. runs to the other side of town square. conjures an entire forest! tress are strangely small though. flies into sky. floating in front of my, her legs turn into wooden posts. she likes it. she tries to walk. she doesn't like it. back to normal legs. she flies up and makes a cloud in the sky. looks down, plummets towards the ground, smashes through and creates a massive cavern. makes a spiral staircase back to the top. creatures start to form in the dark corners of the cave. she shudders in fear and returns to my side. i explain that if you create dark places, you darkest fears to emerge from them. i close the cave. she smiles at me. end. VISUALIZATION still having major difficulty with legs and wings, but face is getting better. visualized all night. very little sleep. i'm kind of freaking out.
DjscrwU December 14, 2012 Author December 14, 2012 foggy memory... day4&5? 4chaning a lot, still haven't discovered chat on tulpa.info and skeptical to sign up to forums. haven't yo-cannoned (if you know what that means) in over a week because i feel like i'm not alone. stress is high. mind is overactive. social connections are drifting away. perhaps there is a reason why most people don't force for more than an hour a day. overwhelmed by this concept that i am a tulpa and earth is a wonderland and god is my host. if he dies... do we all die? can my tulpa create her own wonderland? if i die, and my tulpa has a wonderland with a tulpa, does the tulpa on the second level die? why am i thinking about dying so much. uuuugh. work. NARRATING backpacking is getting tiring. i leave her downstairs most of the day. she explores a bit. she mumbles to herself a lot. i know it's not me because i'm am not focusing on her much at all and yet she moves and makes noises more than before. WONDERLAND mom was just dumped by her bf. she is bingeing on vodka hard. i'm so overwhelmed. fluttershy make me feel safe. shower. i had no time all day, so i forced in shower for what i though would just be 5 minutes or so. i close my eyes. feel the hot water pouring on me. focus. focus harder. i can see it. okay i'm here. wonderland. it is the way i left it. fluttershy is already flying around. she wants to play. oh my, shes playful. she creates a massive pillar of earth right in the center of town square. it rises up probly 50 feet. she stands atop the plateau and looks down at me. i am dumbfounded. staring back up at her with no clue how to react. she uses a smaller pillar to raise me up to her level. she grabs me by the shirt. doesn't make sense but she does. brings me over to her plateau. there are two small trees with a hammock. she tosses me in it. i lie back and she jumps on my chest. curls up with me for about a second, then props right back up. looks me deep in the eye and says aloud, "i want to cook for you". she rushes across to the other side of the plateau. conjures up a small kitchen, only the necessities. she is not magic but she can control wonderland with her mind so cooking is easy for her to do without hands. i speak to her. "fluttershy, you don't need to do that", she replies "but i want to!" i insist "no it is unnecessary, please, let's just talk"... we talk. it is incredible. she kisses me after a bit. yes. on the lips. her lips are coarse and rough with hair, but it feels soft against my face. her tongue is small and rough as well, but it feels good. this is weird. i stop it. the water is too hot. OH i'm still in the shower. i try to leave wonderland. she won't let me. she refuses to let me leave. what is happening? why can't i feel my real body? am i trapped? she looks deep into my eyes. i am in a trance... no... NO... I AM HOST... i break free. i stumble in the shower and come to grip with reality. it's been half an hour. i still stink. no time. end. no forcing today... just... sleep day6 or 7.... 8? FORCING not much of it, can't stay focused. fluttershy talks too much and distracts me from sessions. does that make sense? whatever VISUALIZATION i can see her pretty clearly now. her wings, they are there, but i've deemed them unnecessary to envision. her eyes are huge and deep and beautiful. her legs are all perfectly formed now. mane is still hard to picture but whatever, i'm getting pretty good. WONDERLAND go to wonderland. sok. that pillar is gone now. i guess i removed it at some point. trying to focus, stay in control. cant control it, things keep happening. i manage to add the library (memories). fluttershy doesn't care she hates reading. i get to work building an area floating above the town square that i can escape to. don't have a chance to finish. while we are there, rainbow dash flies by and lands near us. i did not create this. she sits there, preening her feathers. why are rainbows wings so easy to picture? fluttershy is uneasy. she asks me where the rainbow dash came from. i reply "i don't know". "you're lying!" she exclaims. she flies away, i can chase her, i can fly too. but i hesitate. i need to understand this. rainbow, where did you come from? no response. i realize what this is. a servitor. i chase fluttershy. i catch up and explain. she understands eventually. we return to town square. whats this? the sky is turning red. some kind of evil feeling. fluttershy fades. why is she fading? my visualization has grown so strong. she disappears. shadows are pouring in all over wonderland now. something is coming. i'm terrified. i fly very high into the sky. i realize what this is. my subconscious. this can't happen. not here. not now. i conjure 4 servitors. they are dragons. the do not speak or feel. they never grow tried and i expect them to protect wonderland. i send them on their way. i am scared. fluttershy is... gone. i look at my hands. they are transparent... ah.... yes.... a dream. NARRATION i wake up. fluttershy is with me. oh thank god. i assure her everything is okay. she knows. she doesn't seem phased. i am so tired. have to... go... to work. oh god. am i awake? i cant tell. maybe. fluttershy? "yeah?" oh god... shes answering me in my sleep deprived state when i'm not even sure what's real. snap out of it. snap, SNAP. okay. no work today. mom is gone for the night. house to myself... good? i feel like i should take a moment to tell you a few things about me. i am 23, male, live with mom, we flip houses together, like buy and sell them. money is good, life is comfortable. i see my best friend about once a week. that's it for social contact. wait... who am i talking to? fluttershy? "yeah?" there she is again. are you okay? "of course" i- i love you "i love you too" day9 VOID regular day, skipping the details. fluttershy talks a lot, i clean the house, so on. end of day, going to bed. its early. didn't work so i'm somewhat awake. might as well force. house is quite, it's dark outside. perfect condition. just discovered theta beats. might as well try em. headphones on. this noise... it... sucks. i really hate it. oh well. gotta try it at least once. i sit upright on my bed, close my eyes, and picture fluttershy. there she is. visible as ever. otherwise all i see is blackness. forcing is about form and personality right? sure, why not. i pet her. i run my fingers through her mane. i feel her face, her nose. i feel her entire body. her legs are strong. her belly is.. soft. really soft. her eyes, those eyes. can't describe it. screw it. she stands up, on her hind legs. she puts her hooves on my chest. shes still only half my height so i kneel down to her. she wants to kiss me. i don't want this. i try to distract myself. think about the sucky noise in my ears. can't hear it. strange. she's still there, fawning over me. why is she acting like this? other than that one moment on the pillar, she has never acted any way other than like a child. is she growing up? i don't know the answer to that. her eyes. she is attractive. she lays on her back. inviting me to rub her belly. i do. its so soft. i get lost in the moment. snap out of it. did i snap out of it? can't tell. i look step back and look at her again. what the hell? her hooves are strapped. all four of them. strapped with leather to a very make-shift table, only just big enough for her. i step back. she looks at me with lustful eyes. i don't want this! she breaks free and sits up. that's when i look around. i am in a cave. a half-sphere made of rock. the walls are red. there is no exit. somehow it is illumined anyway. fluttershy is looking at me with concerned eyes now. as if she is worried about me. i yell. no sound comes out. i shut my eyes. this isnt happening i tell myself. i count down from ten. slowly. the closer i get to one the more pressure i feel on my head. the headache is intense. 3, 2, 1 i open my eyes. for just a moment, nothing was different. but then, the cave expanded outwards, so fast i barely had time to see it. now im in space. floating. fluttershy. floating too. "im sorry" she says, as she drifts away from my. i cant move, no gravity, no friction. i call out to her, i cant save her. i cant save her.... i dont know what happened after that. its too foggy. but shes with me now, what.. ... .. dafuq
DjscrwU December 14, 2012 Author December 14, 2012 day 12 - THE LUCID DREAM (deserves a title) this started... simpler. this wasn't supposed to happen like this. i haven't slept in days. my best friend is worried about be. he tells me i should start over. I'm all good as far as he can tell from talking to me, but my stories are... well. I can't abandon fluttershy now, she is a part of me. I can't sleep. I'm so tired. i can't fight sleep forever. but if i sleep, the dreams. oh GOD the dreams. who the FUCK am i talking to. maybe, maybe i can sleep without sleeping. google search reveals lucid dreaming. research... turns out ive done this hundreds of times. you might call me an expert on lucidity. look it up yourself i ain't describin it. okay, so nightmares are your inner most fears, demons you must face. okay. thats fucking terrifying. reading more. i need to face them. fluttershy has brought me insight into my soul, this is why i am seeing them so often. i need to face them tonight. im scared... fluttershy says she will help, but shes leaving as soon as things get intense. i chose wake induced lucid dreaming. seems most effective. here goes nothing step one - reality checks... no time step two - theta beats... headphones on step three - be really tired... check step four - force... me and fluttershy try boxing, she sucks at it i knocked her out OOPS lucid... i help fluttershy up from the ground, shes okay, says it was fun. were are in a bedroom now. theres a made bed and pictures on the walls. i dont recognize this place, but it somehow feels familier. there are two other rooms connected directly opposite each other. one is another bedroom, one is kitchen. the bed in the other bedroom is clearly visible from the kitchen. we go into the kitchen. i am standing in the doorway tending to fluttershy for some reason. i can see myself. i have left my body. my point of view rotates around me till i can see myself, and through the doorway. i see all the way to the doorway across. there is a girl on the bed. she is looking at me. empty eyes. dead stare. omg im fucking terrifed! who is she? why is she staring. she begins to rise. standing up. re-enter my body. look at fluttershy. she is gone. look back, the girl is now bolting towards me. her eyes still dead and locked on me. my heart is racing. im scared for my life. i turn and run. i run and i keep running. i dont look back. i end up in a town. i dont know where i am. i dont question it. i feel some force guiding me. i walk through the town square. this is not my town square. this is different. this is... very different. but it looks like my town square. whats that? a shed? i never did create a shed in my wonderland. i go to it. i open the door. there is an old man with a hand air pump or whatever. it is hooked up to a large balloon deflated on the chair beside him. he is staring at me with those dead eyes. he doesnt move, but the balloon begins to fill. it does not fill completely, only one small piece, is if it were kinked. it fills up and become about twice the size of my head. at this point all the blood in my body hes rushed to my feet. my heart is still and i am stone cold. i cant move for the fear that has filled my body has paralyzed me. the ballon before me has taken on the shape of the head of the girl. her eyes are dead. shes here to kill me. i scream running from the balloon is not helping. the faster i run the more balloons appear. they are pouring out of the sky now. surrounding me. i stop dead. i now know what i must do. i need to face this. i must overcome my fear. i turn to face my attackers. i yell as loud as i can, "well? bring it on then!!!" i throw my hands in the air and prepare myself for the impending torment that i am about to endure. but no... a miracle? a second chance? a new kind of inner peace? or perhaps just plain logic. the heads start to fade from existence. one by one, they disapear before my eyes. the town-square in front of me is becoming normal again. its so beautiful. i can hardly conceive that this is my creation. the skies clear. the weight on my chest is lifted. i have survived. its over NOTES i still dont understand why i went through this entirely. my thoughts are haunted by the images now. i cant distinguish dreams from reality anymore. i become lucid each and every night. fluttershy is always with me. she isn't acting strange anymore, in fact she is wonderful. she is my friend, my companion, my counterpart, my everything... //text expunged// only 16 days... have i gone too far? what is insanity? could it simply be a higher awareness of the demons within oneself? a matter of accepting the fact that there is a part of you that is evil, perhaps. i am not evil. i dont have homicidal thoughts, nor suicidal. i love my life everything is wonderful. i wouldn't hurt a fly. i'm scared. day 16 IMPOSITION ending for comments... read on for my first experience on imposition
CyberD December 14, 2012 December 14, 2012 Wow from the IRC I didn't realize how deeply you'd jumped in. I'm not saying it's a bad thing but you really need to ground yourself. By that I mean you should define everything that is happening with solid terms so you can understand and accept it. You should also try and get onto a good sleeping schedule. Broken sleep patterns don't help, don't fight sleeping just do it. You'll feel a lot better if you can get a proper sleep pattern down. You aren't insane (no matter how it might appear) An insane person doesn't understand that they are insane in the slightest. You understand that you are in the process of creating a tulpa, you are learning about your mind. Keep dreams separate from when you're awake. Dreams are a fun and interesting outlet that is wasted by most people through ignorance. Being lucid (aware you are dreaming while dreaming) every night gives you great power to shape the dreams into a desirable form. Use them to get a better idea of your wonderland. Use them as bonus forcing sessions with your tulpa where you can communicate without so many boundaries. Most importantly, don't let the dreams take over. They are your dreams which mean you have full control over them. Fights are stopped at the click of a finger. Staying firm and centered is the best way to control your dreams, be aware of yourself fully as well as your surroundings. Sexual tensions. Yes yours are easy to see. I like that you acknowledged them though. I don't believe Tulpa is the method to release such tensions. Make it clear to yourself and to your tulpa that you don't want to have any kind of sexual relationship with her. Honestly it is what it is, the mind gets distracted all the time and this time it just so happened to create a sexual fantasy. Draw the line firmly and don't overthink it. I mean that, don't overthink it. You'll dwell on it for ages otherwise and there isn't much you can learn there. Try and do something else instead. I've given Nova an escape from things we don't want (they usually aren't sexual but I guess he could escape that kind of situation as well) I gave him the power to turn his whole body into flames. When an undesirable or destructive scenario begins to occur he is quick to do this. When he turns into flames he can scatter, escaping my sight quickly through cracks under doors, through open windows etc. It's actually a fun power for us and it's saved me a lot of trouble. He can reform at a distance and we can discuss what happened. The flames work so well because they suddenly pull all of my focus to visualize, I am distracted from the malicious thoughts and can center myself. Usually I use it when I imagine senseless gore or I can't hold onto stable visualizations. Maybe you should try something like it. Come up with a defense mechanism. Unless you're one of the people who wants to make their pony pregnant *shudders* Finally, about the backpack thing. It's an interesting choice of word to describe taking your tulpa everywhere. I personally come to calling it "Passive Forcing" and we do it all the time. You don't even have to be out and about, you can passive force whenever you are occupied with an activity that isn't your tulpa. It helps tremendously to build your tulpa's presence while still letting you focus on what you are doing. So. Sleep properly, ground yourself, set boundaries and don't forget to live outside of your tulpa. Get out and do stuff, or if you prefer to stay in then do stuff online that isn't specifically about your tulpa. (and about the title. That comes back to grounding yourself. Don't confuse who you are. You've only been doing this for a couple of weeks, you haven't changed that much)
DjscrwU December 14, 2012 Author December 14, 2012 thanks for the reality check Cyber. ya i really did jump in. 8-12 hours of forcing sometimes more a day has made this happen really fast. i must also give credit to the fact that i always had an over-active imagination, picturing other creatures around me for fun. when i wrote that earlier i was waaay overtired though and i think i was a little overwhelmed by it all, meh, sure made a good story though now that i read it again. to be honest, im not that worried. im having a blast! most of my fear came from the fact that i didnt know if this was all n my head or if it was really happening... wait... huh <--? lol anyway today i got solid confirmation that if you firmly believe that there is someone with you 24 hours a day, the process DOES work and it can happen VERY fast. its just oerwhelmning becaise my brain had to process so much. that solid confirmation in impostion. im gaining control of hallucinations. as i mentioned, since its so soon, i doubt its believable but i dont care its for me not you lol! but really, if you do believe me, i was able to create a tiny little elephant in the middle of my bed. i also made a few other weird things, not quite in total control yet. but it was so vivid, every detail in perfect real-life resolution. oh and the bursting into flames. fluttershy can disapear. i wouldnt want her to stay because i get scared for her but she does leave the dream whenever things get too overwhelming. to anyone whos reading this (since apparantly people are) whos new here. if you like scary stuff and you think you can let go of ALL inhibition like it did... i highly recommend it. this has been the best esperience of my life. lol and fluttershy wants me to say that shes having a blast too.
CyberD December 14, 2012 December 14, 2012 You mean day right. Just keep it real and you'll have fun with it. Your progress is way faster than mine. If you are imposing things then you are in front of me. I've had no such luck with anything like that but it doesn't discourage me in the slightest. It'll happen eventually, just gotta stick with it.
DjscrwU December 15, 2012 Author December 15, 2012 Haha ya i corrected it, sorry i hate spelling XD Im gunna be working hard on imposition over the next few days, im nervous because im skeptical as to weather or not i should be allowing my nightmares to join me in real life, but oh well it should be entertaining :). And no way cyber i dont cobsider myself ahead of you. Sure the effects are playing out well, but fluttershy still cant be rushed in her own development and also no matter how fast i go youve got experience on me. Ill still be reading your forum daily and learning from your experiences. Perhaps i can give you some afvice with dreaming and imposing in return.
DjscrwU December 16, 2012 Author December 16, 2012 So its been a few days since I made my last post, and apparently I have readers. That's cool, although a little unsettling XD. well i suppose ill continue then. I hope everyone who cares enough to read this far realizes I'm perfectly aware that i'm not losing it and my tulpa is progressing very well, the thoughts I've posted until now are, for the most part, the thoughts I have while I am forcing and/or dreaming. Fluttershy went missing last night. And she's very vague today. Perhaps I've spent too much time blogging and not enough time forcing this weekend. I'm sure we'll figure it out though. I'll catch up on forcing tonight. As for imposition... where I left off. I scared myself IRL this time, so I put it off for a few days. I don't want to make any more progress with that until I've made sure me and my tulpa are still okay. But I will however share my progress in the area. A lot of people want to impose their tulpae, of that I'm sure, but for the most part it doesn't come easy. The way I see it, everyone has their strong points, and mine is definetly visualization. I know I'll need advice and help when it comes to keeping my thoughts under control and forcing properly, but I also know I have a lot of advice to give with imposition so here's what I accomplished on thursday... IMPOSITION, cont... "Getting ready to force, no sleep for 46 hours now. way too many energy drinks tonight. Fluttershy needs my attention so i'm dedicating the night to her. get comfy, close my eyes. I see her easily, she is immediately happy to see me on her plane, and she jumps into my arms. She is, oddly visible tonight, more than usual. I seem to keep drifting in and out of subconscious forcing and conscious forcing, if you know what I mean. Must be because I am over-tired. phone rings. it's my mom. damn that's annoying totally distracted me. going to answer, but when i open my eyes everything is foggy, i can hardly see. probly just because im tired. i blink a few times in an attempt to see better. as my vision steady's... i realize something is different than normal about my room. i look at the wall. i just stare at the empty white area for a bit. i let my eyes un-focus, as i feel like i might be seeing something. then, origionating from the spot i am looking at, a large circle in the wall turns black, it doesnt look like it is on the wall itself, but more so like it is a dot in the center of my eye. the circle fades and the wall is normal again. now, try to comprehend this, as it is a major part of ALL hullucinating. it's kind of like my brain took a photo of the wall, cropped out a circle of my vision, then pasted the circle from the image in my brain. it looks normal at first, but kind of like photo-shop, my mind can now edit the still image. the circle (and only the circle) portion of the wall turns hazey, then morphs. at first it changes into random shapes and colors, but the look as if they are really there. this happens for about 10 minutes. then objects begin to appear. phone rings again. lost focus... damnit" "okay off the phone now, back to what i was doing. want to see if i can make the objects appear again. this time i look at my bed. same thing happens. let my eyes un-focus and a circle of my vision fades to black, then reappears. then it turns hazey, and shapes and colors start to morph in front of me. then an object. what is it? can't tell, looks like an arm... no a face... no a box... hmm. hard to concentrate when so much is happening. oh wait! something real. its an elephant. a tiny, 3 inch tall elephant. im conciously trying to evision fluttershy, but perhaps its just too soon for that. the elephant raises its trunk and makes that trunk sound they do. sound is not imposed, its in my head. elephant disapears. damn that was cool. it was REAL as far as my eyes were concerned. saw the wrinkles in its ears, saw the whites of its eyes, everything. okay one more time..." "i look across my room, i have a 4' tall speaker box with a white shirt hanging on top of it. decide to see what i can change about it visually. un-focus, black hole, reappears, woah! that was fast. for just an instant that speaker turned into the grim reaper and the shirt - his scythe. omg my heart skipped a beat. scared shitless. okay, phew, catch breathe. thats enough for today. resume regular forcing." NOTES if you are trying to impose for yourself, take note of key points. un-focus your eyes, like what you would do to see double. stare at one spot for as long as you can. when it starts to hurt, keep staring. youll see black spots, they dont feel too great, but that is good. they will disapear in a second. wherever you saw the black spot, that is where something is about to happen. concept... in time you will be able to do this so fast that you don't have to stare a one spot. even for me, however, that will take at least a year or two. at first just enjoy that you can stare at one spot and see anything at all. after a month or two, try to make your tulpa specifically. hope this helps. and for more experience tuppermakers that think this is bogus. well... maybe. but the process to impose is still accurate, so im hoping this is at least helpful and could inspire poeple to keep trying. ps you dont HAVE to stay up for days. but it does make it easier since the planes of reality and fantasy are much closer together. just dont let the grim reaper get you! hehe acutal question... for anyone who has an oppinion. should i be worried than my subc can play tricks on me IRL once i perfect imposition? should i spend more time getting my mind under control before i continue? or will it more likely be fun to see scary shit and will it be something i get used to? any more succesful imposers seeing scary stuff?
imahaxor December 16, 2012 December 16, 2012 First and foremost, get some sleep. Lack of sleep is detrimental to your health, and running on energy drinks on top of that is extremely dangerous. Sleep deprivation is probably plays a big factor in these hallucinations, but you may just be naturally be good at it. I can't say I've heard of many people having such an easy time with this. To answer your question; it depends. Can you differentiate between what is real and what isn't? If these things startle you and you can't control them, it might be a good idea to slow down a bit or seek some professional help. And don't worry about your tulpa, a period of absence in a young tulpa is normal. But I would seriously suggest getting some sleep and getting a routine established. My Tulpa And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.
DjscrwU December 16, 2012 Author December 16, 2012 First and foremost, get some sleep. Lack of sleep is detrimental to your health, and running on energy drinks on top of that is extremely dangerous. Sleep deprivation is probably plays a big factor in these hallucinations, but you may just be naturally be good at it. I can't say I've heard of many people having such an easy time with this. To answer your question; it depends. Can you differentiate between what is real and what isn't? If these things startle you and you can't control them, it might be a good idea to slow down a bit or seek some professional help. And don't worry about your tulpa, a period of absence in a young tulpa is normal. But I would seriously suggest getting some sleep and getting a routine established. i certainly will start getting more sleep. and i can differentiate reality from a dream, its more the fact that when i'm in a lucid dream, i can't tell. which does kind of contradict the idea of lucidity.. hard to explain. i slept a lot last night though and things are clear now. still don't want to continue imposing for a while, just to make sure my heads on straight. thanks for the input :)
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