Is This Normal?

[Jabre]

I recently started making my tulpa, Amethyst. I am only 4 hours in. I have pretty adept visualization skills; I used to just go into my backyard and run for hours in circles while visualizing a novel that I want to write in the future. So, I was quick to make my wonderland. However, I have a lot of questions. First, the memory library of my wonderland is always unbearably cold, and my subconsciousness deviated it to have blood spatter on the walls and books. Also, a handprint appeared in the glass one-way window. I can't remove them, and it is starting to creep me out, so we usually just chill in our beach house. How can I lighten the atmosphere of my wonderland? Also, I started narrating to her too. When I was working on her sentience, I got this intense dissociative feeling for like ten seconds, and then it went away. I was serving mass, and in the middle of it I got the same feeling but much stronger. It felt like my vision was blurring. The same thing happened the next time I forced. Then, I decided to start on her body, because it was kind of annoying talking to a formless orb all the time... I tried to guide her (with my hands not my mind; I didn't want to puppet) to sit down. I was expecting a lifeless doll, but her face immediately displayed emotion. I felt this intense sense of alien confusion too. She was really scared and disoriented. Then, I guess cuz she was new to her body, she started having muscle spasms and quivered herself a lot for no reason. What is this, and is it normal for these things to happen so early in the creation process. i don't want to end up with a malformed tulpa or something...

[Lacquer]

If it "deviated" (became closer aligned with your subconscious) what does that say about you? Or maybe it was just an intrusive thought that stuck. Anyway, you should be able to forcefully change it to be cheerier if you want. Just try really hard, and it should work.

 

As for the rest, don't be worried of things working out earlier than expected. We, as a community, have pretty much moved beyond being slow and cautious with "is this going right or is it too early?" Don't get worked up about it; it's probably a very good sign for you and your tulpa.

 

Also:

serving mass

 

?

[waffles]

That's well within the boundary of what could be considered 'normal', yes.

 

About your wonderland happenings; your wonderland is your imagination. When you say "subconscious deviation" what that means is change according to deep desires, essentially. Unless you really, deep down, want this stuff, then your imagination is just fucking with you. Change what you want, and then ignore anything that doesn't conform to what you want.

 

Pre-vocal tulpas do odd things, so don't worry about something being wrong. Truth is, there isn't really such a thing as a 'malformed' tulpa, either.

[historical]

We, as a community, have pretty much moved beyond being slow and cautious with "is this going right or is it too early?"

 

Some of us are still stuck in the slower mentality.