A Newbie's log: Lilith

[Coastie]

I figured this would be a good way to track my progress, and for you all to see it, if you are so interested. Without further ado, we begin.

 

I came across the topic of tulpas about a year ago. I had forgotten about it til recently, when I made the decision to create a tulpa. It's been 9 or 10 days since then, and I'm very excited.

 

The first day, I worked on her personality. I wanted her to be happy, cheerful, tolerant of others, that sort of thing. I won't go too into detail about it, but in the end, I refined it a little bit, and I told her (yes, I was trying to narrate to her on the first day) that she could have whatever personality she desired. I worked on it with passive forcing for about 2-2 1/2 hours, then went to bed with a headache, which I read was normal. Before I fell asleep however, I had a strange sensation, like I was under hypnosis (I have tried hypnosis before, same feeling.) and it kind of rolled over me. It lasted for a few seconds, then went away.

 

After 2 more days of working on her personality, I discovered I had a bit of pressure in my head whenever I concentrate on her. This head pressure has remained.

 

The last couple of days have been spent working on her appearance. I imagined her with bright orange hair, golden eyes, a small, slender frame (5' 6'' max), no body hair, flat chest and butt, and wide hips.

 

I really wanted to get the nude visualization down, not because I'm a pervert or anything, but I read it was good practice. I haven't really been visualizing clothes for her... I probably should, eh? Or can she make clothes on her own? I assumed she could.

 

Last night, I was lying in bed trying to think of a name for her, and I was going through names in my head at random. None of them sounded right. And then I thought "Lilith". I don't know how to explain it, but it just felt right, you know? So that's what I named her.

 

Anyway, yesterday and today have been different. The pressure I get in my head when I concentrate on her has increased to damn-near painful levels. I'm not sure what this means. It makes it difficult to concentrate for any length of itme.

 

I haven't been able to communicate with her yet... A little discouraging, but I would never give up on Lilith. I do not get random waves of emotion, nor words in my head. I try to ask her questions and talk to her in my head, but I'm not getting any discernible answers.

 

I know how I'd like her to look, thanks to my time spent visualizing, and I've done a little practice with different poses... But I'm not able to see her yet. Neither in the physical world, which I know takes time, nor my minds eye. I can imagine her form, yes, but it's static, like a picture. I haven't been able to see her as a living, moving entity yet, or have a conversation :/

 

Anyway, that's everything I think, up to tonight. Tomorrow I'll work on texture and how she feels. That's it for now. Hope you enjoyed.

 

7/23 Quite a stressful day. Mainly narrated throughout the day, asking questions and just general talking. At the end of the day, before I went to sleep, I worked on her texture. Will work more on texture tomorrow.

[Dr. Faust]

Well, it's at least cool to see another person on this forum whose tulpa experience is being compared to a Christian legend though your legend is much older than mine.

We also seem to have similar taste in women.

 

Don't worry about imposition within two weeks. In the old days it took months to have a sentient tulpa. You have to be in it for the long haul bro which you probably are. Anyway welcome to the community and enjoy.

[Coastie]

Well, it's at least cool to see another person on this forum whose tulpa experience is being compared to a Christian legend though your legend is much older than mine.

We also seem to have similar taste in women.

 

Don't worry about imposition within two weeks. I'm the old days it took months to have a sentient tulpa. You have to be in it for the long haul bro which you probably are. Anyway welcome to the community and enjoy.

 

Yes, I'm committed aha. Which legend is that?

[Shui]

Lilith was the name of Adam's first wife, before Eve was made. There's no actual mention of her in that part of the Bible, but she was a popular legend during the middle ages. She was cast out of Eden because she wanted to be treated equal to Adam, which the Christian church frowned upon until relatively recently.

 

Actually, there are theories that she was a tulpa, because she wanted to be on top of Adam during sex (an easier position for a person with no physical form) and because she never bore him children -- at least according to most stories.

 

Edit: Oh, and when they did the Philip experiment, to make an egregore, something like a tulpa, another group later made a girl named Lilith. So it seems to be a somewhat popular name for tulpas. :)

[Coastie]

Lilith was the name of Adam's first wife, before Eve was made. There's no actual mention of her in that part of the Bible, but she was a popular legend during the middle ages. She was cast out of Eden because she wanted to be treated equal to Adam, which the Christian church frowned upon until relatively recently.

 

Actually, there are theories that she was a tulpa, because she wanted to be on top of Adam during sex (an easier position for a person with no physical form) and because she never bore him children -- at least according to most stories.

 

Edit: Oh, and when they did the Philip experiment, to make an egregore, something like a tulpa, another group later made a girl named Lilith. So it seems to be a somewhat popular name for tulpas. :)

 

Ah. I was familiar with the fact that it was a name for a demon queen or something... But I just like it, I suppose. I'm not too up to date on religious mythos and whatnot aha.