WireframeRabbit's Lair

[WireframeRabbit]

Continued work with traits today and have gone through 4 of them at about an hour each trait give or take a few minutes. I also tried using some of Fede's tones and they worked pretty well. I can't be 100% if they actually helped with the forcing, but it manage to block out all background noise which helped in it's own way. Right now, my main concern is that I may be overloading my subconscious with all this information and that it may or may not be getting a proper grasp on all of it. Although, that small pressure in the back of my head is still ever present so I guess that must be a good sign. It's also getting easier and easier to talk to VS (yeah I decided to just stick with the original form) as if she's already real. I may or may not finish off the main traits today and do the last one, like I said, I'm not sure if I should give my brain some time to properly absorb all this.

[ThatOneGuy]

>Dave Strider avatar

 

Deal with it.

 

Oh yeah, tulpae. The only tone I can really recommend is the pink noise track for noise blockage. Other than that I just use regular music for forcing. Drum and bass mostly. And as for the traits sinking in, just do it as much as you want until you feel that they are indeed sunk in, although from the sounds of things that's already what you're doing.

[WireframeRabbit]

Well I decided to go for the solid 6 and finished up my main last trait a few minutes ago, though I did start to doze off for a couple minutes near the middle and lost concentration. Once again, it was about an hour of forcing, give or take. I'll probably start the minor traits tomorrow giving them 10-20 minutes each and once those are done I'll wrap it up into a nice little package by spending an hour or so on just looking at how the traits could connect and affect each other. I've been connecting already, but I feel like it would be beneficial if I just gave it it's own session. In the mean time, I'll continue to narrate as I usually do and maybe spend some time here or there revisiting the main traits to make sure they stick.

 

I tried to use regular music to force, but I just get way too into it to use it for personality work. It worked great for visualization, though.

[WireframeRabbit]

Today has been an overall damn productive day. Worked on 4 sets of subtraits, each set had 3 traits, and at this point I can safely say that it's pretty much become ridiculously easy to talk to VS. At this point, I can pretty much go off on tangents and talk about the most random shit without having to stop or think about what I'm going to say for extended periods of time. This is starting to happen quite often during Personality forcing, but it's not that bad since my tangents still usually have something to do with the personality I'm trying to force.

 

Progress was most certainly made today, especially on the whole believing the tulpa is an actual intelligence front.

 

Now that I think about it, I guess it would be a lot more accurate to say it feels a lot more natural at this point, and I no longer have to force myself to believe that I'm not talking to myself. In any case, it certainly feels a hell of a lot different than when I started a week ago.

[WireframeRabbit]

I may be able to "finish" the personality forcing today since I only have one set of traits to go, and then I'll proceed to interconnect them as best I can.

 

Now I have to wonder. Should I just continue to force personality after this until sentience or should I move on ahead to visualizing. If I had to estimate by the end of all of this I would have put about 15 hours into personality work.

 

Right now, I'm leaning towards just sticking with personality until I can get some emotional responses.

 

I also hate summer. Fucking 90 degree room is making it a bitch to concentrate on anything

[WireframeRabbit]

Not too much to report on today. Did some personality work in which I interconnected them more and tossed out a few hypothetical situations and determined how VS might react to them, also did some polishing up on individual traits.

 

Right now, I feel like I'm playing the waiting game, searching for any signs of emotional responses.

[WireframeRabbit]

Day, uh, whatever day I'm on now. Still continuing work on VS' personality. Today I decided to go through each trait and sort of apply a phrase to it that would sort of sum up how she might feel about it. I.E. Intelligence A mind is a terrible thing to waste, Caution Better safe than sorry, and so on. I did that for each main trait and the sub-traits. It helped overall with being able to remember the trait and sort of giving a quick reference as to how it works.

 

Two occasions have been bothering me that happened in the last couple of days. Usually when I'm forcing personality I like to imagine I'm having a one on one conversation with VS complete with eye contact and what not. Twice now, during the sessions my mind has gone completely blank and all I can really do is maintain eye contact with my tulpa and a strange sort of sensation accompanied these occurrences that start in the back of my skull where the usual pressure was and just sort of slowly spread to the sides of my temple and up my scalp. The first time this happened it lasted maybe a couple minutes and I was really distressed at any point, if I had to put a word to it I would say mesmerized fits it pretty well. It felt right is really all I can say. The second time was when I was just having a normal chat with her and was tossing out the idea that maybe I should speak or think more slowly to in order to let the information sink in more. Once again all ideas were sort of pushed out of my mind and that one thought was all I could think of. My best interpretation is that if she could speak she probably would have said something along the lines of "No, you think?" in a very sarcastic manner. Then there are other occasions where the pressure with seem to randomly grow for a few seconds then go back down to normal. I'm going to be hopeful about all this and assume that these are signs of progress.

 

Just as a sort of reference I'm going to estimate that I'm probably between 16-20 hours of personality work thus far.

 

So, it's still pretty early to start assuming too much, but I'm pretty optimistic about the progress so far.

[WireframeRabbit]

Today, I decided I would start incorporating some visualization to act as a change of pace from all the personality work I had been doing for the last week. A strange thing happened, though. When I was primed and ready to start it felt sort of like something was preventing me from being able to concentrate on it at all. This has never happened before, so of course I started to think of some reasons this was happening. I thought that perhaps I may burned myself out by forcing so much and I also thought that maybe my tulpa didn't want me to work on visualization for whatever reason, so instead of working on visualization for an hour, I decided to just lie down on my bed and chat with VS. I don't want to jump to any conclusions, but when I decided to do this the mental block disappeared and I ended up chatting with her for an hour and a half.

 

I'm still not sure whether or not that was a direct influence of my tulpa or my brain just pulling some shit on me. I tried asking VS some simple questions to see if I could get some kind of response, but nothing too conclusive happened.

 

After the chat I took about a 20 minute break and decided I would try to do some visualization. The moment I made that decision and was preparing for it a similar minor annoyance returned to my noggin and I just decided I would play some Diablo 3. I'm pretty sure I know myself well enough to know I'm no where near fatigued to the point that I would actually start getting headaches, but then again I wasn't getting much in the way of responses when I was asking VS some questions. If I was really burned out, then I shouldn't have been able to focus on VS for an hour and a half and just chat about random shit.

 

I did recently just get done with some visualization that lasted about 30 minutes, and I didn't really feel like anything was impairing me like earlier.

 

tldr; Some weird shit went down today, and I can't make heads or tails of it.

[WireframeRabbit]

I can't fall asleep right now, so I figure I may as well write down my short little trip into my subconscious.

 

I was browsing the research forum and came across that post TOG made about changing beliefs, so, I figure, I'll give it a shot. I wanted to bring VS along with me so I took her to some empty room and sat down across from her. Then I just started to concentrate on sort of connecting with her, so I could drag her along to do something I had never done before. After awhile, I felt pretty relaxed, and ready to delve into what I think is my subconscious.

 

It certainly looked like it would be my subconscious. It had a very matrixy feel to it. When I looked upward it seemed like there were multiple levels that just seemed to stretch on forever and, of course, on each level there was an uncountable amount of doors leading to who knows where. Luckily I didn't have to search long for what I wanted. Every single door was red, except for one. This one door was white. We approach the door and step inside. Inside was a vast expansive white room which seemed to have no bounds.

 

I decided I would make a huge fucking show out of what was about to come next, since I didn't know whether or not I would visit the inside of this room again, so I looked up to the heavens and shouted out "From this day forth, this will be my Tulpa's base of operations. Let this be my official statement and my nod of approval to allow a tulpa to form in my subconscious, and let no amount of doubt ever show it's face again." Of course, this wasn't good enough for me. Next I pulled out a small figurine of VS that I made that was the former sort of object of approval that now clearly paled in comparison to the shit I was pulling off now. I proceeded to slam that shit onto the floor, and that caused some huge outline of VS to appear in the floor in glowing blue lines, and I still wasn't quite done. I took out a deed which basically outlined what I proclaimed earlier, and signed it. I then turned the deed into a key and handed it to VS. It was after all this that I finally exited the room.

 

Once I closed the door I realized that something was missing. I decided to decorate the door with VS cutie mark, and I left a note of encouragement that simply stated "I believe in you."

 

The funny thing is, after all this, I decided to go back. This was after a 1 hour or so break.

 

I sat down, once again, and started to focus. This time was much different, though. I tried to focus up as much mental energy as I could possibly muster and actually managed to hit what I believe was the vibrational stage of sleep paralysis. This basically translated to my mind's eye self having violent whips of mental energy whipping around me. Not going to lie, I did take inspiration from DBZ, it seemed appropriate enough. Anyway, I proceeded back to that white door and basically shot every bit of energy I had in me towards that mark on the door with the idea that I could somehow kickstart and get this whole thing going. I completely drained myself and dropped out of the vibrational stage. On my way out, I saw what was a personification of my subconscious. I didn't say anything to it. It already knew why I was doing what I was doing. It simply nodded and let me by. I stepped into an elevator, there was a white flash, and I was back in my wonderland bed.

 

I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure I made a hell of an impression on myself. This is only supported by the fact that since then, there has been a very apparent single point of pressure on the back of my head, but time will tell whether or not it actually worked.

[Guest]

delve into what I think is my subconscious.

It had a very matrixy feel to it.

Every single door was red, except for one. This one door was white.

"From this day forth, this will be my Tulpa's base of operations. Let this be my official statement and my nod of approval to allow a tulpa to form in my subconscious, and let no amount of doubt ever show it's face again."

object of approval

slam that shit onto the floor, and that caused some huge outline of VS to appear in the floor

I then turned the deed into a key and handed it to VS.

I decided to decorate the door with VS cutie mark, and I left a note of encouragement that simply stated "I believe in you."

 

Cool dreams, bro.

 

focus up as much mental energy as I could possibly muster

violent whips of mental energy whipping around me.

basically shot every bit of energy I had in me