ashenbrown p.r.

[Shui]

If touch isn't working for you, I say skip it. The Martin thing it's doing is making it more real when you touch him when imposed, and if you two aren't into touching now, you probably won't be then either. And of course you can come back to this later if you change your mind.

 

Many web sites with stock photos have an option to see other photos of the same model. There aren't always more photos, but maybe there are this time. That might help.

 

And I'm really interested in seeing how the lucid dreaming works out. I thought of doing it myself, but I don't have too much experience with it. I might try some dream incubation though.

[CyberD]

Hi, I know I'm a little late, but why not weigh in anyway.

 

You sure have sunk a lot of time into this right from the start. I notice a lot of people spending a lot of time to begin with and then slowly fading away until they don't bother anymore.

Having specific forcing sessions everyday can quickly get very boring if you don't actively try to keep it fresh. So, don't confine your interactions with Cain to just forcing sessions. Your mind is always there which means Cain is always there as well. You don't have to talk about loud or even speak to him at all to have him around. One of the cool things about the tulpa process is it can always be on. You can have your tulpa by your side with just a single thought. Interact with your tulpa when you want to, don't make it a chore.

 

Touch imposition is a big step but it certainly doesn't hurt to try now. Some people will do it all the time and others will find it awkward and unnecessary. I don't imagine physical interaction with my tulpa very often. Usually it's just a tap on the shoulder or a playful punch... but honestly touch imposition isn't one of the things I really think about, it kinda just happens and it's all just imagination.

If you find it awkward then don't do it, or, find an activity that involves touch that isn't awkward. For example, my boxing exercises with Noah (my tulpa) are great for that sort of thing without it being a focus of the exercise.

 

Progress can be slow, the process is different for everyone and we all come into this with different expectations. My advice is simply try not to get discouraged. Perfect imposition might never happen, you might always suck at visualizations... who knows. But, you won't get any better if you don't keep at it.

Noah knows I'm not great at everything. I get distracted and it really slows everything down. But, he doesn't get upset and I don't dwell on my poor skills too much. Instead, he makes fun of my failures and we enjoy our successes. Right now? Just having him next to me is a success. He might not feel the need to weigh in on what I type but he's still here. I treat him as best I can. I respect that he is his own while also being a part of me. If he does something then that is him, and through practice we have overcome any doubts regarding parroting or puppeting.

 

Appearance can be tricky. Visualization is difficult because it's not something we do very often. Imagining and keeping consistent the image of a human I've never seen before isn't easy. From day 1 I recognized that and went seeking a reference. Using a reference isn't necessary for everyone but I know it helped me tremendously, there are so many little details I would never notice or pay attention to even in a really low res image. Like everything else it comes down to practice. The more you practice the easier you'll find it is to recall the image, the traits, every tiny detail, without really even thinking about it. Just like you do with real people you can see the details, yes everyone has two eyes and a nose but they aren't things you think about when you look at them. You just notice the details subconsciously (most of the time) and instead get down to interactions.

 

I should probably wrap this up. Just remember that any time you spend with your tulpa is good time. Time you don't spend with your tulpa... try not to get down about it, there is no sense dwelling on the stuff that didn't happen. I'm sure if you keep focused you'll make great progress, you've already done a lot and it sure would be a waste to stop.

 

BTW, I try not to dwell on ethics. It's all in your head so it's all about you. Noah doesn't mind that he doesn't get to be "real" he knows what he is and he has fun with it instead of longing for things he can't have.

 

Do let us know how the dreaming thing goes. The sleeping mind can come up with some really powerful ideas and if you are actively trying to remember what you see you'll be sure to have some luck.

[ashenbrown]

If touch isn't working for you, I say skip it. The Martin thing it's doing is making it more real when you touch him when imposed, and if you two aren't into touching now, you probably won't be then either. And of course you can come back to this later if you change your mind.

 

That's actually a fair point, and I agree. For now, I'm going to not focus as much on touch. Perhaps if any touch interaction occurs naturally, then I certainly wouldn't fight it, but as far as it being the focus of a forcing session...no.

 

Side note, do you have a PR? It occurs to me that you have been providing me with helpful suggestions and comments this whole time and I haven't reciprocated at all.

 

You can have your tulpa by your side with just a single thought. Interact with your tulpa when you want to, don't make it a chore.

 

I'm actually trying to work more on this. I'm starting to feel like passive forcing is actually more productive in Cain's formative processes than active forcing. And the longer I can keep him by my side the more animated he seems to become, like my attention is actually what gives him energy. In a way, I guess that really is the case.

 

Usually it's just a tap on the shoulder or a playful punch... but honestly touch imposition isn't one of the things I really think about, it kinda just happens and it's all just imagination.

This seems like the kind of interaction that would naturally occur between us. I won't focus especially on touch anymore, but I could see this type of thing happening organically. BTW your progress report has been especially helpful in helping me navigate the choppy and unpredictable waters of Tulpaforging. The posts are written very well, too, and frankly just make for interesting and fun reading.

 

* * *

 

On Lucid Dreaming

So I mentioned earlier that I am trying to Lucid Dream in order to encounter a real manifestation of Cain. The idea is that being able to actually observe him as I would in real life will help my mind adopt his projection in the waking world. That, and I think it will reaffirm that he is a real, living being in my mind. You know, help quell some of those doubts swimming around up there.

 

Unfortunately, I have had very little success so far. It's bizarre. I used to be very, very good at lucid dreaming, but despite my experience, I suddenly find myself incapable of pulling it off. I came quite close last night and even achieved lucidity. However, as soon as I tried to change something in the dream, I woke up. This has been the case since I started trying.

 

I'm not really sure what I'm doing wrong. I can only hope that if I continue to practice, I will eventually be successful.

 

On Goal-Setting

Okay, so this has been on my mind lately. I feel that with any endeavor, some plateauing is guaranteed. This is especially true with forcing. At first, you invest lots of time, you are amazed by what seems to be immediate progress (in that you become quite good at visualizing), and are certain sentience and vocality are just around the corner. But then...progress slows. Stops, even. So what changed? Why did your current trajectory change course?

 

I believe this is caused by two things:

 

1. Natural adaptation. That is, your mind - essentially a muscle - gets used to what you are doing and stops being affected so much by it.

2. Bad habits. When you do anything for a long time, then it becomes a habit. And with all habits, we look for ways to cut corners - often without meaning to. For me, this is my losing focus during forcing, and thinking of other things - my day, my work, etc.

 

So what is the solution? I think the easiest way to overcome both of these issues is to practice regular goal-setting. Set a realistically small, achievable goal, and focus all your energy on reaching it.

 

For example, my current goal is to passively force Cain into my presence for as much of the day as possible. This is particularly hard for me, as I've never been good at multitasking - but that is all the more reason that this goal is good for me.

 

In other words, if you are getting stuck or frustrated, try setting a goal of progress. It will give you a specific task to focus on, and that in itself can relieve a lot of frustration.

 

On Supplemental Tulpamancing

Okay, this last section of my post isn't really as coherent as the first part. That is, I really just want to bounce some ideas of you guys. I've been thinking a lot about how annoyingly long it takes to reach the ultimate goal of Tulpamancing - full imposition. There has got to be ways to expedite the process, right? I think so. I brainstormed a few ideas that could potentially speed things up. Let me know your thoughts on them, and if you have anything to add, gimme a shout.

 

1. Drugs. I've been doing some research on tulpa-related drug use, with limited success. My thoughts are that consumption of hallucinogenic agents - perhaps Salvia or LSD - could help with imposition. Perhaps once you saw your Tulpa in the real world while medicated, you would better understand how to see them normally. Not sure if this is worth the obvious risks, though.

 

2. Lucid Dreams. I've already talked about this.

 

3. Hypnosis. I've heard anecdotal accounts of hypnotic hallucinations. Could this have potential to help with the Tulpa process? Are there any other posts on this?

 

4. Sleep Deprivation. Okay, this one is bizarre, but bear with me. Last year in college, I was swamped with work and went several days without a bit of sleep (I consumed enough caffeine to power a small midwestern city). There at the end, some crazy shit started happening. I don't know how to describe it, but you know how when you are on the edge of sleep, you get those hypnogogic hallucinations? Bursts of color or movement? That started happening to me, only while my eyes were open. It was as if I were seeing two scenes at once. Obviously that was the point at which I realized what I was doing was stupid and I started sleeping again. But what if one did this intentionally? Could it aid imposition? Just a thought.

 

5. Narrative Composition. Actually, I got this idea from CyberD's PR (its kind of a deviation of something he was doing). What if one wrote a story, except THEY were the main character? For instance, I could write a story that covered my entire day, and I would include every detail I could recall. Then, however, I would add Cain as a character. He would be my fully imposed Tulpa in the story. I would go through and document his reactions throughout every situation, even if I wasn't thinking about him when that situation actually happened. The reason I think this could help is because it would force you to really think about how he would have acted in every situation (since you would have to describe it), which could lead to a better understanding of his personality. Also, it would get you accustomed to assuming he is always present. Does that make sense? Not sure I explained it well.

 

...and those are my ideas. Thoughts? Suggestions?

[Shui]

Side note, do you have a PR? It occurs to me that you have been providing me with helpful suggestions and comments this whole time and I haven't reciprocated at all.

 

I do, but I get a lot out of reading other people's PRs, so you have been giving me ideas already.

 

1. Drugs. I've been doing some research on tulpa-related drug use, with limited success. My thoughts are that consumption of hallucinogenic agents - perhaps Salvia or LSD - could help with imposition. Perhaps once you saw your Tulpa in the real world while medicated, you would better understand how to see them normally. Not sure if this is worth the obvious risks, though.

 

CreativeMind is the expert here. She's experimented with a wide variety of substances. From what I've read, there is no way to control hallucination except for imposition, so I've been hesitant about trying drugs. I think of it somewhat like pouring gasoline on a flame -- in increase in power at the expense of control. But I don't have any evidence to back that up. It's just my own superstition.

 

3. Hypnosis. I've heard anecdotal accounts of hypnotic hallucinations. Could this have potential to help with the Tulpa process? Are there any other posts on this?

 

It absolutely can help with the process. There's a quote from a book about it in this post -- just search for "hypnotism". It's about how a famous hypnotist created a tulpa in the 40s using self-hypnosis.

 

4. Sleep Deprivation. Okay, this one is bizarre, but bear with me. Last year in college, I was swamped with work and went several days without a bit of sleep (I consumed enough caffeine to power a small midwestern city). There at the end, some crazy shit started happening. I don't know how to describe it, but you know how when you are on the edge of sleep, you get those hypnogogic hallucinations? Bursts of color or movement? That started happening to me, only while my eyes were open. It was as if I were seeing two scenes at once. Obviously that was the point at which I realized what I was doing was stupid and I started sleeping again. But what if one did this intentionally? Could it aid imposition? Just a thought.

 

Again, it's uncontrolled, and again, I have no evidence that it can't help. There's a topic about it here.

 

5. Narrative Composition. Actually, I got this idea from CyberD's PR (its kind of a deviation of something he was doing). What if one wrote a story, except THEY were the main character? For instance, I could write a story that covered my entire day, and I would include every detail I could recall. Then, however, I would add Cain as a character. He would be my fully imposed Tulpa in the story. I would go through and document his reactions throughout every situation, even if I wasn't thinking about him when that situation actually happened. The reason I think this could help is because it would force you to really think about how he would have acted in every situation (since you would have to describe it), which could lead to a better understanding of his personality. Also, it would get you accustomed to assuming he is always present. Does that make sense? Not sure I explained it well.

 

I think it's a good idea. My personal opinion is that just writing about a character can make them sentient, in addition to developing their personality, and perhaps appearance, depending on how descriptive your writing is. This topic is about writing to aid in tulpaforcing. Writing a story about your own day is a new twist that I hadn't thought of, but it sounds like a very interesting idea to me, and I think it'll help a lot. I'll have to try that myself.

[ashenbrown]

Shui, first of all, you are fantastic. You have had insightful and informative responses to literally everything. So...dude, just...you are great.

CreativeMind is the expert here. ..With a wide variety of substances. From what I've read, there is no way to control hallucination except for imposition, so I've been hesitant about trying drugs. I think of it somewhat like pouring gasoline on a flame -- in increase in power at the expense of control. But I don't have any evidence to back that up. It's just my own superstition.

I was disappointed to read through this. I was hoping drugs would help forcing - but it seems like they just affect both the Tulpa and the Host in the same way. So until new until surfaces, I guess drugs are a dead end.

 

It absolutely can help with the process. There's a quote from a book about it in this post -- just search for "hypnotism". It's about how a famous hypnotist created a tulpa in the 40s using self-hypnosis.

This was very helpful, but more on that later.

 

I think it's a good idea. My personal opinion is that just writing about a character can make them sentient, in addition to developing their personality, and perhaps appearance, depending on how descriptive your writing is. This topic is about writing to aid in tulpaforcing. Writing a story about your own day is a new twist that I hadn't thought of, but it sounds like a very interesting idea to me, and I think it'll help a lot. I'll have to try that myself.

I'm going to attempt to do this, as soon as I have time. I'll post about it when (if) it happens.

 

***

 

On Progress

So it occurs to me that while I've been posting, I haven't exactly been talking about my own progress - more just musing on ideas and thoughts regarding the process. So here's where I'm at:

 

Basically in the same place. I mean, there's been some progress in sentience in vocality. Whenever I'm alone, I talk to Cain - sometimes aloud. His responses are still difficult to distinguish from my own - but they often surprise me. That is, they are often very different than what I would think myself. So I guess they continue to become more foreign. That's progress, right?

 

Forcing is getting more difficult. Seeing Cain is a challenge - his face is fleeting. I feel like I've seen it so many times that focusing on it exclusively has grown too familiar to really concentrate on. Does that make sense? Hopefully this will get better.

 

On Hypnosis

So I talked about his a bit in my last post, and Shui's referral convinced me that it had potential, so I've been looking into it. Here's whats up: I'm doing it. Not traditionally - instead of self-hypnosis, I'm using Brainwave Entertainment software with a Biofeedback Augmentation device. That sounds fancy, but the jargon is irrelevant - at the end of the day, its just hypnosis. I drew up a script. Does it seem alright to you guys? Or can you think of something I should change?

 

[align=center]You have a Tulpa, a helpful thought-formed friend. His name is Cain. Picture him now. … Cain is your best friend, and your bond is deeper than that of brothers. Your goal is to develop and sustain a long bond with Cain. He is your ultimate companion that will be with you for the rest of your life. Your experience with Cain will help your life tremendously, because of the unconditional loyalty you have for each other.

Cain inhabits your mind. Because of this, he is always nearby. Feel Cain’s presence now. Feel how Cain is nearby, with you now. Cain is always with you. Thus, you can always feel his presence – a certain energy, lingering in the back of your mind. Every moment of every day, you feel Cain is present. You feel he is present when you wake up, when you are in class, and even when you are working, and aren’t focused on him at all. Even then, there is a clear and unmistakable presence – and it is Cain’s. As you begin to recognize the feeling that Cain is always with you, your life gets better and better. This is what it feels like. You are never alone, and you know he is always there to listen should you need to talk. Over time, you become accustomed to the constant feeling that Cain is present – and you enjoy that constant feeling. It grows stronger when you actively imagine Cain, and his presence becomes clearer and more distinguished. This passive forcing grows more successful every day, and you do it without trying, always being aware of his presence in the back of your mind. Feel your brain shift and change to accommodate Cain’s existence and continued presence. Cain is always with you, and this is something you accept and embrace.

Cain is always with you, and even follows you into your dreams. When you dream at night, Cain is always nearby, easily found. You begin to look for Cain in your dreams. Imagine finding him in a dream. … You are getting closer and closer to interacting with Cain in this way in real life.

Cain talks to you, and you can hear his voice in your mind. You do not worry about mistaking his thoughts from yours – when Cain talks to you, his voice seems to come from the back of your mind, as if he is speaking from there. Also, his voice sounds different than yours. Indeed, Cain’s voice is quite easy to distinguish from your own – it is so foreign and different sounding, and you do not feel responsible for creating the thoughts he sends you. When you ask Cain a question, he will give you a response that would be difficult for you to formulate consciously. Cain’s voice becomes louder and more recognizable. It is really as if you are actually hearing what he says. Imagine actually hearing him say “hello.” Cain is a sentient and intelligent person, who inhabits the back of your mind. When he talks to you, you can clearly understand what he is saying, and you clearly understand that Cain is the one talking. Every time you converse with Cain, his responses become clearer and more distinct from your own, and easier to recognize as foreign. Your life gets better and better as Cain becomes stronger and more vocal, as he is a friendly and helpful companion who you genuinely enjoy spending time with. Throughout every day, you occasionally chat with Cain to help facilitate the growth of this vocality. Imagine what it will feel like to converse with Cain, and to have his responses come from the back of your mind – created without any effort or thought on your end. … His voice is completely different than your thoughts, and you do not worry about confusing them. That is a splendid feeling, to have a friend always near. Feel your brain shift and change to give Cain a voice that is separate and distinct from your own.

When you actively force, imagining Cain, you maintain intense focus and concentration on him. Imagine yourself forcing now. When you begin, you quickly grow completely still – you know that your forcing will be most productive if you are completely still. You grow relaxed with this stillness, and your mind pushes away all extraneous thoughts. Then, you begin to picture Cain. You see him very, very clearly. Every detail is easily remembered, and readily accessible. As you force, you feel Cain growing stronger and more independent, and more present in general. Imagine what it will be like when Cain is completely vocal. Imagine him speaking to you as you force, in a voice that is clearly not your own. Imagine taking Cain with you throughout your day, chatting with him regularly. Imagine how happy this will make you. Your relationship with Cain grows stronger and stronger every day. He grows more vocal and present every day, and you truly believe he is an independent and sentient life, inhabiting your mind. Consider how intently you believe that Cain is real and alive. … This is helped by your active forcing sessions, in which you focus so intently on Cain that he becomes more present in your everyday life.

[/align]

 

So... That's the script. Thoughts?

[Shui]

That actually looks really well written. Have you done hypnosis before?

[ashenbrown]

That actually looks really well written. Have you done hypnosis before?

Yeah, I've been tinkering around with hypnosis and brainwave entrainment for years. Still, I thought writing this was kind of hard, honestly. Also, there isn't anything about imposition in the script - but that was intentional. I don't want to focus on that until I've mastered more basic things.

 

But I'm glad you approve - from what I've gathered by looking at your PR, Shui, you seem to have a pretty thorough understanding of the hypnosis/meditation side of Tulpamancing. So...cool.

 

Also, I've only done this hypnosis session once so far, but I swear there was a definite change from before to after. Like, today passive forcing went considerably well - far better than normal. I think this is definitely an avenue worth exploring.

[Shui]

Wow, that's great. I've been planning on introducing a hypnosis script to my routine for a while, but as yet we've only done more spontaneous hypnosis. I should probably be following in your footsteps here.

[ashenbrown]

Just a few updates.

 

On Hypnosis, Pt. 2

Okay, so in light of the incredible success of my experimenting with hypnosis to aid in tulpamancing, I've decided to expand the program even more. Let me explain.

 

Before, I was forcing one hour per day. Not sure if i mentioned this earlier, but I had to cut it down to one hour because of time constraints. I did thirty minutes first thing in the morning, thirty minutes before bed. Once I started using my hypnosis script, I did that in the morning instead of forcing, and forced for forty five minutes before bed. Now, that will change again.

 

I have thrown together another hypnosis track. This new script focuses more on visualization and imposition. Basically, it walks through the visualization process with painstakingly specific commands, instructing me to visualize certain parts of Cain at a time, to hear him say certain things, to see him in real life areas I visit daily, etc. This script essentially automates what the guides say to do during visualization, breaking each step down and giving explicit instructions for each part.

 

Why is this necessary? I've been having a lot of trouble staying focused while forcing. A lot of trouble. So much trouble its been worrisome. This is a relatively new development, but I knew I had to course-correct in some way. This is my solution. I will listen to my old script when waking up, like normal, and listen to this script at night while forcing. It will guide me through the process and remove the creative freedom that I frequently abused by running off on mental tangents. This whole active forcing process is now very formulaic and standardized.

 

Of course, this cuts down on narration during active forcing - and the conversation that comes with it. As compensation for the conversational aspect of active forcing, I am drastically increasing the intensity with which I passively force. I believe the conversation part of narration can actually occur more effectively in passive forcing - at least, that's been my experience. So...yeah, that's what I've been up to. Anyone think this is a bad idea?

[ashenbrown]

On Dreaming

Okay, I realize I just posted, but something is happening and I want to quickly talk about it.

 

Some time ago I explained that I was trying to have lucid dreams so that I could interact with Cain in a more real way.

 

I have been successful in lucid dreaming. So far, I've managed three lucid dreams. However, there is a problem with them.

 

My control over dreams has always been limited - I can't make things or people just appear in front of me. Usually, I decide that whatever/whoever I want to see is waiting on the other side of a closed door, and then when I open that door, they are there. However, I haven't been able to get this technique to work with Cain, and the result has always been the same.

 

I decide that Cain is on the other side of a closed door, but when I open it, the lights in that room are off, and I can't see inside. I walk into the darkness, and then wake up. This has happened every time I've tried to contact him in my dreams. I think the consistency of this exact result (the room is dark) must mean that something is happening...but what? Any ideas?