Nesq300

All of a sudden everything feels fake

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Because of many reasons that honestly I wouldn't like to list on here (mainly stress), I haven't been able to talk to my tulpa (Sue) in a long time, almost 2 months. No long conversations, no long narrations, everything just fell into "Hey, what's up?", "Good morning", "Good night", and "I'm bored".

 

I literally forgot to do anything tulpa related, I had no will, so I took a break. I neglected her so much.

 

A few weeks ago, I came back into this. I began to narrate again, sometimes, not much, and tried to make myself aware of her existence.

 

But now that I started again, it feels completely different from what I felt on the first weeks of her life. Now everything feels... Fake. Almost as if I'm pretending to have a tulpa, not that I have one.

 

Sue has possessed me, has talked to me, has done so many things. So, why now everything she does it feels so fake?

 

Like parroting, puppeting, I feel no presence at all.

 

Did she lost her vocality? Her original strength? Did I lost my ability to sense her? What happened to us? What should I do now besides forcing?

 

Any advice on this?

 

Thanks in advance.

 

ps. This might belong to General Discussion, so if that's the case, please someone move this thread there.


...Yay

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Obviously when you've put off tulpaforcing for a bit, or better yet, let's forget the term "tulpaforcing," and talk about actually "talking" with her. At some point, if you don't really train yourself to where things can become second nature (where she can easily pick up where she started), you may feel that you've reached back to square one.

 

With anything that involves starting back again, you just have to think about it of doing the smaller things, and letting them stack onto the bigger things so you can achieve the longer conversations you had with her and such. And those smaller things obviously means being able to treat her as sentient, visualizing her in anyway you can (mind's eye or visual imposition), being able to express a little more gratitude in her being able to respond to you (despite of what feels laconic when she says "yes," "good morning," "good night" etc.).

 

We as host just have to show gratitude in the smaller things with our tulpa(e), because if we can't appreciate those moments, how can we let them stack onto the bigger and grander schemes and motives we want to have with our companions? You know who she is, you remember how she expresses herself, it's not completely destroyed or forgotten. Those moments are within your confines of your mind, and all you have to do is just prime yourself to get active with her again.

 

Remember, when it comes to thinking one is consciously planning everything in advance, that's assuming they can have some sort of dichotomy with the unconscious mind, and this leads to the host having anxiety issues that just become so exponential that they forget the obvious and what they already have basic competence in. Just remember she'll get back into your awareness again, just start small, let those attempts stack up, and keep doing it, and go back and forth with treating her as sentient and appreciating her existence as well.

 

Even if you have to glance and skim over other guides you read in the past that might have helped you, do so, sometimes we just need a refresher so things start streaming and triggering back in our minds again. Just see her as someone you talk to and see as whatever bond you've established her in rather than having to think she's only brought into existence by tulpaforcing.

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First off, we can't really tell you what you feel and why you feel it exactly. What I would guess, though, is that firstly, because you took a break, your idea of how your tulpa felt faded somewhat, and in coming back to it you became more critical of it, and secondly, you're not paying enough attention to your tulpa.

 

What you should do, then, is force more. If your tulpa isn't the same as they were three months ago then they will be given proper care. Moreover, I would think that being aware of your problem only exacerbates it, so pay little attention to your own concerns

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The key to making any mental process an unconscious act with ease is repetition.

 

After not doing it for a while you probably lost the "feel" of it you once had because the the progress you had regressed.

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