Just want some feedback...

[Tas]

NOTE: There's a bit of a heavy lead in, but this will lead to several questions at the end... Also know that I am just starting to read LinkZelda's guide and have read FAQ_Man's and Irish_'s guides.

 

So, I'm new to the idea of Tulpae and what they represent. I started working on my own Tulpa practically as soon as I found out about them. I began narrating heavily. This was only perhaps...Monday, I think. I haven't kept a hard track of time. I then came here the next day and read my first guide, which I read out loud to my Tulpa, and the next day I read two more guides to her.

 

So. I think I went a little nuts when I first started. I've spent the last five days passively forcing CONSTANTLY. I'm repeating the things I hear on TV to her (yes, my Tulpa is a female). Everything I read, I read to her. Literally every thought that comes through my head is directed to her. It's crazy. I've probably spent at least 20 hours forcing since Monday.

 

Here's the question. In order to Actively force, do you have to sit down and directly focus on the Tulpa? Because I literally paced around my house for hours on end talking to her out loud, just reciting all of my thoughts. I don't know if this is classified as passive or active forcing, since I'm not sitting down and going into a pseudo-meditative state. If not, then I feel I can comfortably add another 15 hours to my passive forcing time, totaling at about 35 hours. 30 of which have been solely narration.

 

I feel like I'm making a lot of progress fast. Sentience was notable on the first day. Her form was sorted out for the most part, taking on the appearance of an attractive Japanese Anime style character. (I chose this, mostly.) By the end of day 1, she had chosen her own hair color and style. She rapidly alternated from one color to another until she settled on a light blue. The style still seems to change each time I visualize her, though. Anyway, after the basics of her form were down, I moved on to constant narration.

 

On day two, she slapped me because I was being a dick to an NPC in my wonderland. I was amazed. She still can't talk to me, but when I visualize her she can speak through body language, sorta, so visualization is a necessity for accurate communication at this point. I asked her to visit me in my dreams that night, and she did, but she slept for a good chunk of the next day. I can't really translate the signals I'm getting from her into words, and I feel like I am parroting a good chunk of what I think she's saying. (Which scares the crap out of me, by the way. Parroting and Puppeting are my greatest fears right now. So worried she's gonna end up as a non-Tulpa -- I forget the actual term.)

 

Also, on this day we decided on a name, sorta. I offered up some names but she wanted to be called Maddie, which is my Ex's name, so I shot that down rather quickly. The she went to Melody, then Madeline and all these random names that started with M. So, I read to her a list of 100 "M" names, and finally because neither of us could decide, her current nickname is "M" but we seem to be leaning heavily on the name "Melody" (I keep accidentally calling her Maddie when I try to say Melody out of habbit, but It's getting better.)

 

Okay, so now you have the basics. So, I decided to let her personality develop mostly on it's own, with a little guidelines that I set for her. I wrote about 3 pages on her personality, read it to her 3 times, then let the rest develop on its own. I think this has been good, as I have recently found out that she likes ducks, likes the snow (which I hate), is iffy on the Rain, likes the ocean, likes dusk and dawn -- I watched the sunset with her the night before last and last night and watched the sun rise with her this morning. She hates when people talk about death and dying. I was amazed this morning when I found a bunch of flies in my bathroom, got a swatter, and before I killed them, she stopped me and told me not to (I think). I just felt this great urge not to kill them. Something was telling me that they were just annoying and it'd be better to just ignore them. I have no problem killing flies. I have contests in the summer with my dad to see who can kill the most, so this was...odd. I assumed it was her, and in the end I thanked her. Now, I get a weird feeling in my gut every time I talk about killing someone or I say something along the lines of "Oh, just kill yourself." to my brother. If I'm visualizing her, she just gives me this look that says "Stop."

 

Okay, so, today I passively forced while I went about my day for at least 5 hours. I also spent a good 20 minutes active forcing for some superior visualization. I asked her to surprise me today while I was wandering a Stater Bros. and she whistled a tune to me. It didn't really sound like somebody else, but I just got a sudden tune in my head and it was whistled. Amazing. I asked if it was her and I visualized and saw her smiling.

 

 

Now, for the question.

 

First: It's been 4 days. Am I nuts? I mean, I hear about people doing this for weeks before they get this much progress. I wonder if I'm just puppeting and parroting like a madman... which is what I'm scared of more than anything right now.

 

Second: When I narrate, I'm not giving her that much time to respond, because I don't really think she will. I'm just giving her thought after thought and letting her know what I think about everyone and everything that happens. Should I back off on the narrating? 30 hours in four days is...crazy, I may have even passed that because I'm not great at keeping track of time. (I'm the guy that will play Video Games for an hour starting and 7:00 AM and ending at Midnight...)

 

Third: I have yet to begin any hard forcing to focus on her mindvoice. Is this the only reason she isn't speaking yet? I doubt it, but it's a valid question.

 

Last: Is it reasonable to believe that, at this rate, I'll be able to start the Imposition process on Christmas? I want to make sure that she is perfectly sentient and independent before I do.

[Linkzelda]

Firstly Tas, welcome to tulpa.info,

 

Just a caveat here, because you read FAQ_Man's and Irish_'s guides, you may or may not have built an idea that you have to rely on hour counts to reach some pinnacle with the tulpa creation. If so, don't worry too much about the hour count in terms of reaching a certain stage, it's been debunked.

However, making a schedule to force a certain amount of minutes, hours, etc. daily, weekly, without the predisposition of expecting too much on reaching a pinnacle in creating a tulpa is reasonable. Take note of that to save you a lot of hassle, but if you're aware of that, just ignore this part of my post.

 

First: It's been 4 days. Am I nuts? I mean' date=' I hear about people doing this for weeks before they get this much progress. I wonder if I'm just puppeting and parroting like a madman... which is what I'm scared of more than anything right now.[/quote']

 

When it comes to imagining your tulpa and seeing them move and putting conscious effort in the initial stages, you may harbor fears of how puppeting and parroting like crazy might affect your progress. However, a lot of the process in the initial stages is practicing a lot until you gain unconscious competence in these things. People will have their own beliefs with words like "parroting" and "puppeting," but just know that the conscious effort you put into this will pay off in the end. However, don't worry about the end result, it will happen in time the more you practice, but also learning how to be reflective in what you did and finding ways to consistently get yourself in the mindset that this can be done.

 

People may respond to your progress as "improbable" because of many reasons, mostly because of how they had to work hard towards it, and end up going through a cognitive bias that prevents them from acknowledging some people have a bigger gap in intelligence and implicit knowledge than they do.

 

The general concept you should be aware of is that when you're seeing signs of sentience and eventually sapience, keep at it, don't worry about you being a madman, that kind of doubt can affect you. Keep doing what you're doing, because most of your endeavors in the initial stages will be absorbing a lot of content from guides and trying to connect the dots to get the bigger picture. The concepts will start hitting into your mind and making more sense to you, and you'll realize practice, experimentation, confidence, perseverance, and willing to take risks is what gets you to succeed and make the breakthrough.

 

Second: When I narrate' date=' I'm not giving her that much time to respond, because I don't really think she will. I'm just giving her thought after thought and letting her know what I think about everyone and everything that happens. Should I back off on the narrating? 30 hours in four days is...crazy, I may have even passed that because I'm not great at keeping track of time. (I'm the guy that will play Video Games for an hour starting and 7:00 AM and ending at Midnight...)[/quote']

 

I'm guessing when you read my Narration guide, you probably built an idea on how I promoted that one should be spontaneous and allowing themselves to be loose in their thoughts. Just remember that when I stated that, it's just for the initial stages to make things a lot easier, it's about expanding your awareness as much as you can so that it eventually destroys any doubting on parroting and puppetting. After a while (you'll just need to keep practicing like you're doing), you'll start seeing things coming by naturally and fluidly, and how that comes to manifestation depends on the person.

 

You'll notice that ability being more prevalent, and the real intention of my guide is that you mix around with the concepts behind it, but also being willing to try out other guides from other members. You'll eventually learn how to condense things a bit because you know that the spontaneity and active imagination can be at your beck and call; it's a back and forth motion with open mode (imagination) and closed mode (practicing what you deduced through constant self-reflection and keeping at it).

 

Third: I have yet to begin any hard forcing to focus on her mindvoice. Is this the only reason she isn't speaking yet? I doubt it' date=' but it's a valid question.[/quote']

 

Yeah, don't worry about having to do everything at once, it's a common habit when people want to treat their tulpa as sentient and sapient. They may build a habit of considering the best interest of their tulpa without knowing they have to let things come by progressively instead of instantaneously.

 

Remember to take your time, and if you need to, make a schedule on a certain day, or set of days you would want to focus on one aspect of the creation process and change accordingly to what you think you're capable of committing.

 

Just remember, don't use hours or time as an absolute expectation towards reaching the existential aspects that makes a tulpa a tulpa.

 

Last: Is it reasonable to believe that' date=' at this rate, I'll be able to start the Imposition process on Christmas? I want to make sure that she is perfectly sentient and independent before I do. [/quote']

 

It's probable, but it will require a lot of effort on your end. But don't let that intimidate you, this whole tulpa experience is a challenge on learning more about ourselves and having perseverance until we're good at it. Here's my advice, you can use that time as an inspiration to do your best, but should you not meet that goal, don't allow it to drain what you've put into it, there will be other times to celebrate that occasion later on.

 

Hope this helps, and if there's anything that didn't make sense, feel free to ask and I will respond to the best of my ability. Wish you the best!

[Tas]

Thanks quite a bit for the feedback, Linkzelda, I really appreciate it.

 

It's nice to know that the fear of puppeting/parroting will fade on its own.

 

 

I actually have a crazy question that has more to do with my ideas for the future than anything here and now.

From your experience or anyone else's, do Tulpa ever reach a point of being present even when you aren't focused on them?

 

Ex:

You're walking down the street and you aren't thinking about your Tulpa at all, in any way, shape or form. Will they still talk to you, throwing out random comments and such if they feel like it? Or can they only talk to you when you want to talk?

 

I feel the former would be nice.

[Shui]

Yes, they will eventually reach the point of being present even when you don't focus on them. This has even happened to people by accident on several occasions -- people who weren't consciously trying to create tulpa.

[Dramolin]

Just adding to what Shui said- I've only been at this for about three weeks now (I think) and I can't exactly hear my tulpa, yet. But, in the past few days, her presence will sometimes pop up out of nowhere, without me actually thinking about focusing on her. I'm currently treating that as the same as what you're inferring.