Yukai Shi (Yuka) my 1st Tulpa

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I've been practicing visualisation every night now, and I think I'm getting better but I don't know? It's like il be forcing, and think loads of stuff, and then my mind will wander, then il realise and get back to it, and so on so forth for some time and then i will become calm,


When I'm calm and settled, sometimes I try to focus on a specific thing, and sometimes I just leave my mind wander (a relaxed wandering this time though, ahaa)


When I do this, my visualisation is practically shit, I can do what I call (think visualisation), by that I mean, I can think something detailed very well, and think of a visualisation to go along with it very well, except, I'm not really seeing it if you get what I mean (i know it sounds confusing, and sorry, that's just the best I can explain it)


I don't see it in my head like I see with my eyes (usually)


But recently, I will chill and visualise, and the same as above happens but then all of a sudden I will realise that I'm looking at something, and then I notice how vivid and real it is,


It is when I realise this, that it just disappears and I'm back to square 1, ahaa


That's what I mean by "I think I'm getting better but dont know"

I can't control what I see, and when I notice it, it goes,


Is this normal?

Tulpa - Yukai Shi (Yuka) しゆかい (ゆか)

Form - Shapeshifter

Working on viualization and vocalization

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That's totally normal. It still happens to me a lot. There is nothing wrong with it. It's kind of like your brain getting used to seeing with your mind's eye. Just let yourself see what pop's into your head. No worries if you're seeing it. Even if you can't hold it. You can also use this as a form of narration to your tulpa


"okay...my mind is wandering and I suddenly see a bear--see Yukai, this is what a bear looks like--wait...now it's a chair..."


It doesn't really matter what you are seeing as long as you are "seeing" it. All of this is a form of practice and it will be helping you. I'm not saying to just let things wander all the time, but that the wandering can be helpful if you use it constructively instead of letting it get you down.


I'm really proud of you progress though, you're doing great!

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