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I promise for real this time. 5 is the limit! :P


Nyarlathotep

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The link to the original document if you want to read it more easily:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/15AUmZsjgMI-oj2eXWkBelSpYmhuWitsN4Wv_XbOfG8o/edit?usp=sharing

It will also be updated more often than the Progress report here.

 

////////// MEGA UBER EDIT: The google doc above shows the finished progress report.

Here is the link to my possession log.

Possession

 

/////////<<../// Super Uber Mega Edit: Ira's Progress Report:

Teh Report II

 

This link takes you to a Personality Table that helped me keep track of what to "build"

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Ak1M8wPf40nsdDVPVWlWT3RXbVlnOWUtcEpwZU8ySGc#gid=0

Also the attached file is the character that I modeled off of to begin with. The character had no personality that was mentioned anywhere so it worked out nicely.

 

Day 1

 

Session 1 (9/3/13), 1 hr. 45 mins.,[7:05pm-8:50pm] Active Forcing -Concentration Exercises Completed. Narration started while visualizing Cynthia’s Feet details and beginning of calves. Wonderland fully visualized. Need to work on visualizing more than narration (drifting into thought of stories rather than focusing on visualizing was the problem). Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visualization.

 

---I felt tugging on the left side of my head above my ear. (9/4/13) [11:10 am]---

 

<1:45>

 

Day 2

 

Session 1, Part 1 (9/4/13), 10 minutes, [2:20pm-2:30pm] Passive Forcing - Wonderland and feet review. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visualization.

Part 2, 25 minutes, [-2:55pm] Active Forcing - Rough visualization to just under waist. No narration used. Listening to music to drown out other sounds works well for Active Forcing in public environments. Visualized shorts (based on elastic shorts in photos) and began visualizing socks. Ended in interruption. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visualization.

 

Session 2, (9/4/13), 40 minutes, [5:55pm-6:35pm] Active Forcing - Wonderland and feet review. Created entrance/exit portal to consciousness. I’m deciding to leave the bedroom alone for the tulpa to design the room and interior works. Reviewed in detail the feet and texture. Added small details to the calves and thighs. Created “Andy + Cynthia” {EDIT: Changed to just “Cynthia” in unique font} t-shirt and put it on her. Created white Adidas socks and brand new converse style shoes (size 9) with triangular “^” pattern going up and down the bottom of the shoes. Roughly visualized arms and hands. Attached shoulders and torso are somewhat visualized and need significant attention and time. Backside not visualized from the thighs up. Face and head not visualized. Small amounts of narration though memory review was done while force visualizing. ---Felt a presence in the same room as well as noise in the house.--- Feeling out and creating voice is being worked on. Am I puppeting? I am using the body and moving it around to test body mechanics so I’m not sure if that is puppeting. Lots of work to be done. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visualization. (Pro tip- Don’t wear contacts while doing the, “hands to the face” method; It is VERY painful afterwards and reduces vision quality for a short time :/)

Session 3, (9/4/13), 25 minutes, [8:50pm-9:15pm] Active Forcing - Worked on details of the calves and thighs. I had a hard time concentrating. I did review of the wonderland and lower body. I need more time (At least 30 minutes for a session of actual forcing). I have had a very easy time concentrating in general. Forcing is getting quicker and easier. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visualization.

 

<3:25>

 

Day 3

 

Personality Plans:

I will passively force personality for Cynthia and Actively force powerful Personality Traits that I think need more attention than the rest. (9/5/13), [4:37pm]

 

Session 1, (9/5/13), 10 Minutes, [8:11pm-8:21pm] Passive Forcing - Began Forcing Intelligence, Beauty and Self-confidence. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visualization and Personality Forming.

 

Session 2, (9/5/13), 30 Minutes, [8:32pm-9:02pm] Active Forcing - Reinforced Intelligence, Beauty, and Self Confidence. Reviewed wonderland and allowed Cynthia to decide her own appeal when creating her private areas. Reviewed arms and limbs. Visualized Backside and began roug visualization of the head. spoke out loud (whisper-like) to her. I feel for her greatly and I am extremely committed now to follow through. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visualization and Personality Forming.

 

<4:05>

 

Day 4

 

Choices:

Felt the need to put in a beach in the wonderland. This could be a possible emotional response as well as my sudden liking of “Danger Zone by Kdrew ft. Mr. Nickelz.” This could be the first choices so I will download the song for her if that is the case.

 

Session 1, (9/6/13), 1 Hour, [8:35pm-9:35pm] Active Forcing - Had trouble focusing this time around. Body felt extra sore and mind felt uneasy. Initial visualization was clear and good then I had a hard time moving on from reviewing the wonderland. So, I spent most of the time working on Personality Forming. Could have had a better session. Perhaps it was just a fluke. I will try again and hope I do not have the same problems. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visualization and Personality Forming.

 

<5:05>

 

Day 5

 

Session 1, (9/7/13), 1 Hour and 15 Minutes, [4:40pm-5:55] Active Forcing - Had a really good session visualizing activities with Cynthia. Added a platform at the top of the library for skydiving and looking out. Moved the lounge to where the gym was and moved the gym to where it used to be (down the hallway). The area where the lounge used to be has been replaced with “The Lunar Lookout” which is a rectangular room with glass on all sides except the entrance. Outside of the glass (phasable) is space or at least, the look of space. Went skydiving with Cynthia and went through space. Created “The Dance Floor” which is accessed usually when music is playing (mind music or actual music) and can be used for dancing and singing. Elevated floor in the center with no lights except the floor tiles on the dance floor (elevated center) that periodically glow different colors. A sound board on the sides of the room. It can be accessed from the hallway downstairs on the right-hand side on the way to the gym. Created the “Simulation room” which is across from The Dance Floor. Used to simulate action, adventure, and battles. It can used for generating amusement environments as well (like a go-cart track for example). Library Backdoor added. It has all the books ever read by me and can be read by Cynthia for amusement. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

Session 2, (9/7/13), 1 Hour and 40 Minutes, [8:05pm-9:45pm] Active Forcing - A relatively successful session with Cynthia. More Activities were done according to the songs and more fine visualization was done. A symbol was created to represent us as well. Change to forcing schedules: 1 Hour and 30 Minutes allowed in one session. Focus is lost easily after that amount of time. These session are getting very enjoyable and I look forward to getting a good nights rest and then working on Cynthia again. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

<8:00>

 

Day 6

 

Session 1, (9/8/13), 1 Hour, [8:15pm-9:15pm] Active Forcing - Pretty successful session. More skydiving and the body has developed a little on its own. Use of the Lunar Lookout for Visualization works very well. Two hair design are conflicting and I am not having a very easy time choosing (long silky pitch blue with purple highlights down to mid biceps and pulled back short to long bright blue hair down to the elbows). Preferably: changeable when desired. Not much on Personality Forming this time around. Did facial visualization (needs work) and can see very rough details. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

<9:00>

 

 

Day 7

 

Session 1, (9/9/13), 1 Hour, [8:20pm-9:20pm] Active Forcing - An averagely rated success in forcing this time around. Same activities with music. Not much on personality. Having trouble deciding on hair form and working on facial features as well as the backside. More work to do. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

<10:00>

 

Day 8

 

Session 1, (9/10/13), 1 Hour and 6 Minutes, [8:05pm-9:11pm] Active Forcing - A pretty good session. Worked on personality to the summoners rift theme and narrated a little and shared thoughts during that time. Afterwards, I worked on visualization for a most of the time while occasionally imagining other things and personality traits. Status: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

<11:06>

 

Day 9

{Fail Counter 1} {Breakthrough 1}

Session 1, (9/11/13), 1 Hour and 10 Minutes {Est.}, [9:30pm-10:30pm-Failure] Active Forcing - A somewhat successful session that should have ended there due to lack of concentration. After 1 hour, mind was working a little and then I fell asleep. I feel completely and utterly sorry and wish I could make it up to her. It was very rude of me. Never again shall I fall asleep on her. I will set aside pre-scheduled time in the day to work with her rather than setting it at the end of the day. I had one very important decision in that time that appeared to me suddenly rather than my creation. Hair for had a light blue hair with a split in the middle flowing down in front and behind the shoulder with six “flap spikes” protruding from the center that stick up a bit. I’m only giving myself 54 minutes out of the time that I was actually awake due to distractions and falling asleep. May have taught her bad emotions unintentionally (Annoyance, Irritation, and Frustration). Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

<12:00>

 

 

 

 

 

Day 10

 

Session 1, (9/12/13), 30 Minutes, [5:10pm-5:40pm] Passive Forcing - Taught all traits of lust. Will not go into detail. Don’t ask either (Nothing bad happened; pure teaching purposes). Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

Session 2, (9/12/13), 30 Minutes, [9:47pm-10:17pm] Narration and Other Forcing Method - Will do general work and review. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

<13:00>

 

Day 11

{Fail Counter 2}

Session 1, (9/13/13), 4 Hours, [7:20pm-11:20pm] “Presence Method” - Trying a method in which Cynthia is thought about in my mind while doing other activities such as talking to her and light narration. Activity Visualization and talking about her and her personality. Trying this out as an alternative and as a test to see of something like this can work after a rough visualization and personality forming. It can also be used as a way to include your tulpa in your daily activities. Only half of the successful time will be rewarded for this. Will be called the “Presence Method” until it is named better or deemed unsuccessful experiment.

This experiment ended in somewhat of a failure. I held it loosely for 40 minutes and then it started to fall apart. Only 20 minutes will be granted. Normal forcing will take place for Session 2.

 

{Fail Counter 3}

EXTREME KILLJOY ALERT!!! → I’m apparently no longer allowed to use music as an applicable method. That is rather ridiculous. It was the best method too… Time to study the personality tables… [10:15pm]

 

{Fail Counter 4}

Session 2, (9/13/13), 10 Minutes Est., [10:25pm-10:35pm-Failure] Active Forcing - Visual and started on personality. FELL ASLEEP AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! I learned however that it is generally not good to be forcing when tired. Thus my schedule will be edited to force earlier when my mind is clear. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

<13:30>

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Day 12

 

Session 1, (9/14/13), 1 Hour and 45 Minutes, [7:35pm-9:20pm] Active Forcing - Rough start, but it it turned into one of the greatest session I have had yet. Visuals are getting better. Face needs some work still. Hair is pretty interesting and the same activities we have been doing are pretty fun. We did the usual skydiving, singing, and dancing stuff like usual. Personality is being built in these activities slowly. Removed the bedroom and replaced the area with carpet steps leading upwards to multiple rooms in an intersection-like area. The “Master Bedroom” looks out across the lake in a beautiful view. That is the only thing determined for sure about the room. Everything in it including furniture will be decided by Cynthia when the time comes. I’m glad this session went really well despite going over the time and trying a new spot and position to force in. The previous days haven’t been good, but it seems there really is a calm after the storm (I had to say it :P). Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

<15:15>

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Day 13

 

Session 1, (9/15/13), 1 Hour and 30 Minutes, [4:30pm-6:00pm] Active Forcing - Distractions in the beginning but turned out pretty well in the end. Lots of visualization and and working on visualizing the choices Cynthia would take in certain situations. This helped me place her personality more realistically and apply it. Teaching her “good” and “bad” things at the same time, I find, is better since most people aren’t all good or all bad. So, I started her off as if she were a child (personality building wise) and build her into a teen over time. Not as successful as yesterday’s session, but pretty close. Checked the library and saw that there were exponential increase in books on her side. This must mean that this is working. I will try harder and hope to fill all of those cases one day. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

<16:45>

 

 

Day 14

 

Session 1, (9/16/13), 1 Hour, [9:45pm-10:45pm] Narration and Other Forcing Method - Narration and visual review and personality review. I will only give myself 30 minutes of the time due to distractions. Status: Unfinished and unrefined. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

<17:15>

 

 

Day 15

 

Asked a question on the forums: For that, special thanks to Ashmo and Kiahdaj for a quick response.

 

{Epic Fail Counter 5}

Read a post on Tulpa.info that made me think things that were bad for my tulpa (things were said about what NOT to visualize and they started popping up in my head :/). Taking time to clear them from my head: kittens :D and other things that are more helpful. (4:24pm)

 

{Breakthrough 2}

I was worrying about my schedule today while I was on the way home and I just felt a wave of instant relief. I felt like everything was going to be ok and that everything will be fine. I wonder if this is the first emotional response from her! I hope so… NO! I have to have faith in her. It is her. (5:10pm)

 

Session 1, (9/17/13), 35 Minutes, [8:35pm-9:10pm] Active Forcing - Felt a wave of extreme happiness about 1 minute in. This time I’m sure it was an emotional response. It was a really good feeling :P. We spent a lot of time on the dance floor singing and dancing. It was a lot of fun. Towards the end of the session, I tried the “surprise me” trick and from the dance floor I was thrown through all kinds of things with her finishing with a surfacing from the lake. It was quite something but not vocality. I’m still very satisfied with my results from this extremely short session. All in all: this was a very good day. I’ll finish up the night with some narration after 9:30. Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

Session 2, (9/17/13), 20 Minutes, [9:40pm-10:00pm] Narration and Other Forcing Method - Same thing just asking her questions and then after about 17 or 18 minutes, I couldn’t get any kinds of “gut feelings” from her. I thought that maybe she was tired so I just said goodnight and went to sleep afterwards. I think everything will be ok though. I just have to believe in her decisions! (Only 10 Minutes will be given) Status: Pre-Verbal Communication and Narration. Stage: Visual Detail Fixation and Personality Forming.

 

<18:00>

 

Day 16

{Breakthrough 3}

Session 1, (9/18/13), 45 Minutes, [8:15pm-9:00pm] Active Forcing - Once again: a really great session. Lots of fun with activities. Felt a head pressure about 30 minutes in. It was in the top, left, front of my head. I think shes trying different methods of communications. I’m also trying the “clear your mind and listen method.” I felt a bit more head pressure when I tried that. It has to be her. I also did a review of her body and her details are pretty clear except her behind, her private front (letting her decide what’s happening down there), and her face. Doing great and I’m really enjoying these sessions. Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation, Finite Body Details, and Personality Forming.

 

Session 2, (9/18/13), 30 Minutes, [9:35pm-10:05pm] Narration and Other Forcing Method - A “bedtime story” type of Narration. Not really, just wanted to say that. I’m going to do this nightly and try to keep up with Active as well. 15 Minutes will be given. Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation, Finite Body Details, and Personality Forming.

 

<19:00>

 

Day 17

 

Second time I started feeling head pressures. I was talking to her and asking her basic questions feeling out for any responses at all. I didn’t get a gut feeling or an emotional response so I waited and listened. I felt pressure on the center, top, right of my head this time. [7:38am]

 

{Breakthrough 4}

Session 1, (9/19/13), 45 Minutes, [7:55am-8:40am{estimate}] Passive Forcing - I was in science class and I was feeling head pressures to the things happening around me. I felt more perceptive of the things happening around me. I was imagining that everything I was seeing and hearing was streaming straight to the TV in the living room. I saw her sitting down and watching everything we were doing. I gave her permission to see and hear through my body. I think we are really getting somewhere. This is exciting! (30 Minutes will be given for this since I didn’t get distracted too often) Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation, Finite Body Details, and Personality Forming.

 

I was asking basic yes or no questions and I started feeling what I believe to be the the so called “head pressure.” It was definitely a good sign. Since I didn’t think she liked head pressure responses. I was wondering if it was just me having head problems. When I was heading upstairs to my locker I started getting the feeling again. Then I asked if there was something she needed. Nothing. Then I asked if she just wanted a little attention. Bam, there it was that head pressure again. So, I just kept talking to her as I went about my business. [9:25am]

 

Session 2, (9/19/13), 15 Minutes, [11:15am-11:30am] Active Forcing I tried some open eye forcing and it seems I have the concentration to not only do open eye, but in extremely distracting environments. This is very good news to me. I only worked on activities like skydiving and the usual focus switching with “Summer Ashes.” Hopefully I will get to spend even more time in a day with Cynthia! Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation, Finite Body Details, and Personality Forming.

 

 

{Breakthrough 5}

Session 3, (9/19/13), 1 Hour, [4:45pm-5:45pm] Presence Method - Successful this time around! We went bowling and a few of my friends that I introduced to Cynthia were there. It was a lot of fun. She was pretty much like a good luck charm! I did way better than I normally would in bowling (haven’t played in at least 6 months). We had a great time. 45 Minutes will be given due to some actual concentration on her and quality time spent teaching her how to bowl. Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation, Finite Body Details, and Personality Forming.

 

An emotional response was received along with head pressure a little bit later in response to, “are you having a good time?” It was a bit of a happy feeling, but I’m not sure whether or not she really was having a good time. If not then I’ll ask. [5:08pm]

 

Session 4, (9/19/13), 30 minutes, [5:50pm-6:20pm] Conversation and Teaching of Good Morals - I was talking to her a lot about appreciating ourselves and that nothing is perfect. We are who we say we are, not who others say we are. Honestly, I didn’t think I was the kind of person able to teach lessons like that. I got an emotional response (I was using really touching words and stuff to talk to her) and I got an emotional response of almost crying. I was about to cry myself because of it. I’m glad she is taking these lessons to heart and really taking them seriously. Things are going well. Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation, Finite Body Details, and Personality Forming.

 

{Deviation}

Just was thinking about her and then some really cool deviations just happened. She now has earings! They are a blue ball surrounded by blue flames with one of those shiny/glossy looks to the surface; it was almost like an asteroid (perfect circle though) flying in a diagonal bottom right position. The overall thing was about the size of ⅓ of my pinkie. [6:57pm]

 

Session 5, (9/19/13), 1 hour and 30 Minutes, [7:30pm-9:00pm] Active Forcing - Good and fun session as always. I feel like the things that she is doing are more of her actions rather than what I think she would do. I got some serious head pressure on the left side of my head and felt even more when I asked if she wanted to work on vocality. Seems that there are a lot of things that she wants to tell me when I am able to hear her (hopefully soon). I told her to bear with me and let me finish visualization (getting closer) and at least the base of her personality. I think she was ok with it, but it seems she is getting a bit impatient with that part of it. I’ll do my best to visualize her face and finish her personality and begin on vocalization. Her clothes have been visualized pretty well. A shirt with the outlines, of lighter blue to darker blue, of city buildings on her shirt. A red windbreaker with her name imprinted in white with her special insignia instead of the dot over the “i”. Jeans, adidas (white, ankle, and small symbol on the front) socks, and converse shoes with arrow (forward) imprints on the bottom. Also, placed significant attention to the bracelet on her left hand exactly like the one that I wear. Her right hand has two hair bands (none of which she actually uses XD): blue and purple (purple is closest to the hand). I have decided to discontinue the reinforcement since Cynthia is getting impatient and because it can restrict her freedom of deviation which would not be good. So hopefully that was a good decision.Things are going pretty well. Very satisfied with the amount of attention I gave her today. I’m sure she is too. Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation, Finite Body Details, and Personality Forming.

 

Session 6, (9/19/13), 30 Minutes, [10:05pm-10:35pm] Narration and Other Forcing Method - The usual story telling before going to sleep idea. 15 Minutes given due to distractions. Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation, Finite Body Details, and Personality Forming.

 

<22:45>

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Day 18

 

Session 1, (9/20/13), 45 Minutes, [6:15pm-7:00pm] Active Forcing - Session could have been better. I got an emotional response (very faint) of happiness after seeing her again. My concentration was lacking and I will keep at it more tonight and hopefully things get better from here on in. Working on finishing Personality Forming tonight and start focusing on fixing a better view of her face and some narration. Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation, Finite Body Details, and Personality Forming.

 

Some time today I started calling her “Cynth” and I don’t know why. Oh well… :P

 

I was watching a comedy show (the new one called “Dads” and I thought it was pretty funny. There are two guys that own a video game company and they are making a game called “Kill Hitler 2” and were pitching this idea to chinese investors. Their “Brilliant plan was to have their female asian worker dress up in a slutty school girl costume. The funny part was when one of the investors snapped a quick picture with a smug look on his face. It laughed pretty hard and felt some pretty strong head pressures at the same time. I think she was experiencing true humor, on her own standards, for the first time! This is really good. I have been trying to think of a way to teach her humor and it seems it worked itself out! [7:42pm]

 

Session 2, (9/20/13), 1 Hour and 45 Minutes, [8:25pm-10:10pm] Active Forcing - Started out with extreme eye pains which was definitely a concentration breaker which turned into something that helped me immerse myself better. My eyes were closed more comfortably than ever and I had such a good position that I had to TRY to keep myself awake. I’m completely exhausted and I would do another session, but I’m totally drained of energy. I’m going to sleep early and get some forcing in tomorrow and see how that goes. Added a new song to my forcing playlist and it added a whole new background and adventure to the wonderland. The song is Meiko - Leave The Lights On (Culture Code Remix). Use your imagination and see what you can see with this song. Its very deep and it includes my history. My family history was not the most bright and colorful thing to see, but it fit it so well that I decided to narrate some things that happened to me when I was a kid. Won’t go into detail. If you are interested just PM me (forums: Nyarlathotep) or ask me if you know me in person. Some good personality work today and I will try to finish up tomorrow. Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation, Finite Body Details, and Personality Forming.

 

Session 3, (9/20/13), 40 Minutes, [10:30pm-11:10pm] Narration and Other Forcing Method - I’m going to tell her a few stories and then say goodnight and get a good nights rest. Only giving myself 20 minutes because I know I’m gonna get distracted.

 

<25:30>

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Day 19

{Mass Deviation}

Session 1, (9/21/13), 1 Hour, [7:45pm-8:45pm] Active Forcing - An almost full scale visual deviation has occurred. Her hair has become straighter and much more clean. Her clothes turned into a futuristic body suit with hexagon cloth and thick borders of a blue light on her edges and going straight down the front of her body. She now has a visor and the fir much like glasses but way cooler and her name is electronically printed onto the top left. She has become extremely vivid and I’m starting to get a strong fix on her face. Her hair is much brighter (much more like a neon blue now) and has become silkier. Her features are much easier to visualize. Her personality has strayed a bit, but she says she hasn’t changed her personality. She definitely changed her personality. She significantly more badass than me now. Not complaining, but she is way different than I could have ever imagined. I feel something is off. I feel sad for some reason.. Maybe it’s because I’m in shock or disappointed. I don’t know. It just feels like shes not the same person that I can share a laugh with anymore. However, I will have faith and try my best to have a good time with her and make us both better people. I will try to finish up the last 9 traits this session. Status: Pre-verbal communication and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation, Finite Body Details, and Personality Forming.

 

{Breakthrough 6}

Session 2, (9/21/13), 1 Hour, [9:15pm-10:15pm] Active Forcing - Personality base finished! It was an extremely good idea to go through all the old personality traits that made her who she was before truly accepting her form because… when I did review her personality came back! She has the new cool look and the great old personality combined! WIN! So now we both are having a great time. I’m just going over the really little details and finishing a fix on her face. We are drawing close to the best part… Imposition and Possession. Hopefully when we finish with her face and vocality we can get started on some of that. For now I’m just going worry about what I’ve got and get some quality forcing in. This is going really well. Status: Vocality and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

Session 3, (9/21/13), 40 Minutes, [10:45pm-11:25pm] Active Forcing - Starting to lose my focus so I stopped early and I’m gonna get some rest. I’m trying to detail the lips and nose and its difficult… VERy difficult. Oh well, the more you work the better you get right? Just takes time and practice I’m sure. Status: Vocality and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

Session 4, (9/21-22/13), 30 Minutes, [11:45pm-12:15am] Narration and Other Forcing Method - Usual nightly storytelling. 20 minutes given. Status: Vocality and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

<28:30>

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Day 20

 

Session 1, (9/22/13), 1 Hour and 15 Minutes, [8:00pm-9:15pm] Active Forcing - Facial Fixation and working on the eyes. Doing the usual activities to strengthen my view of her body movement and mechanics. All is good. Mind wandered a little, but not enough to block any progress. Overall, a good session. Status: Vocality and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

Session 2, (9/22/13), 30 Minutes, [9:35pm-10:05pm] Narration and Other Forcing Method - Usual nightly storytelling. 15 minutes given. Status: Vocality and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

<30:00>

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Day 21

 

Session 1, (9/23/13), 1 Hour and 20 Minutes, [11:40am-1:00pm] Passive Forcing - Trying to keep her with me and talk to her while in ceramics class. Went considerably well. My concentration is getting better at least. Giving myself 45 minutes. She in stage one of vocality which is good. Status: Vocality Stage 1 and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

Head Pressure has been has been reminding me of Cynthia all day. Good thing she is there reminding me!

 

Just felt a series of overwhelming anger as I believe to be an emotional response. Of course with magnificent timing to get me into trouble. Sigh*. I hope she isn’t angry. Guess its obvious though. I told her I didn’t have time to work with her at the moment and that I misinterpreted a series of head pressures as a headache (and proceeded to take an aspirin). Then the wave of feeling came. Then afterwards I got angry at the timing and my dad busting my ass for smacking my keyboard really hard. :/ [6:57pm] Crap happens I guess.

Session 2, (9/23/13), 1 Hour, [7:45pm-8:45pm] Active Forcing - Visualizing her face and her new body details. Some variations still occurring. Hopefully they clear up within the next week or so of forcing. Well on my way to finished visualization. Status: Vocality Stage 1 and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

Session 3, (9/23/13), 30 Minutes, [9:45pm-10:15pm] Narration and Other Forcing Method - Usual nightly storytelling. 15 minutes given. Status: Vocality Stage 1 and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

<32:00>

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Day 22

{Breakthrough 7}

Cynthia gained her voice! I was reading some textbook pages to myself in Health and Phys. Ed. class and I heard a voice that did not feel like it was coming from me. It was her voice, but my thoughts. Very interesting… Hopefully the key to my tupper “deafness” is just time. Can’t wait to see more progress! [11:28am]

 

Session 1, (9/24/13), 1 Hour, [11:25am-12:25pm] Passive Forcing - She seems like she is reading to me! I wonder why it happened all of a sudden. No complaints here! Giving 45 minutes. Status: Vocality Stage 1 and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

Gained intrusive thought and they mixed with my thoughts of Cynthia making some very disturbing scenes. Afterwards, (I will not go into detail of the event that occurred) she was crying and I felt like a terrible person. I felt a wave of anger and punched my desk. I believe it was a mix between my anger and hers. Also, an instant change to a depressive state (lasted for 10-15 minutes) which was my disappointment with myself and her sadness. I think I need to learn to control these thoughts by believing more in my own power over my own mind. I apologized and said I would work on it. I believe she said ok. I’m glad she is an understanding person. Although, I’m really not trying to mix these thoughts. They mix themselves and make these disturbing scenes. I swear I will fix this problem; for her sake and mine. [2:15pm]

 

Session 2, (9/24/13), 1 Hour, [8:15pm-9:15pm] Active Forcing - Touching up and making sure there are no variations (still are some, but they are clearing quickly). Fixing Face Details and they are getting easier to spot. Good progress today. Status: Vocality Stage 1 and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

Session 3, (9/24/13), 30 Minutes, [9:45pm-10:15pm] Narration and Other Forcing Method - Usual nightly storytelling. 15 minutes given. Status: Vocality Stage 1 and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

<34:00>

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Day 23

 

Session 1, (9/25/13), 1 Hour and 30 Minutes, [11:45am-1:15pm] Narration and Passive Forcing - Visualizing her face and talking to her in Ceramics class. 1 hour given due to distractions. Status: Vocality Stage 1 and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

I finally figured out the source of her deviation. Her hair and face originated from a girl named Rea in the anime: Sankarea. The only difference is her color hair and eyes (and of course skin color, but their faces are very close[she isn’t a zombie too; durr XD]). Also, the reason she is futuristic is because of the music I listen to (kinda dubby and electronic house; stuff like that). So, there we go, traced to the very heart of her deviation. Truthfully, I can’t believe I knew it. It just came to me one day after searching for the source with my friends, for about an hour and a half. Maybe she has something to do with it… [2:52pm]

 

Session 2, (9/25/13), 3 Hours, [4:00pm-7:00pm] Presence Method - Talked to her a bit while doing homework and other chores. 1 hour given. Told her things I shouldn’t have and thought things I shouldn’t have (DO NOT GET THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT THINGS OK?!). Now she knows me better I guess :P. Status: Vocality Stage 1 and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

Session 3, (9/25/13), 1 Hour, [8:10pm-9:10pm] Active Forcing - Worked on the body details some more. Looks like there are very few variations left with the body. The face is getting work done. I can see a well formed face. Lips and eyes are being worked on. Ears and hair detail is also being worked on. There are some variations in them still and I hope to clear those up. The visualization should done in a few days and/or sessions. Good progress so far. Status: Vocality Stage 1 and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

Session 4, (9/25/13), 30 Minutes, [9:45pm-10:15pm] Narration and Other Forcing Method - Usual nightly storytelling. 15 minutes given. Status: Vocality Stage 1 and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

<37:15>

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Day 24

 

Session 1, (9/26/13), 1 Hour and 30 Minutes, [9:20am-10:50am] Passive Forcing - Did the same thing that I did two days ago. I read something and my mind translated it into words that Cynthia read to me. Her voice is so full of emotion as if she were an English teacher reading a bedtime story to her kid. Afterwards, I took a test and talked to her during the test. We had conversation and I was teaching her new words close to “yeah” like “yep” and other stuff. She is fully sentient and understands emotion and social functions, but she has a monotone voice. Need to work on her voice more. I’m going to work on her face more soon. Hopefully, we can clear that up soon. I have been getting feelings that someone is looking over my shoulder throughout the day. Even as I type this [1:02] I feel it. Oh well. Got a few emotional responses from her too. Seems she is looking forward to bowling. Things are going well. Imposition will be commencing as soon as the face is finished. Status: Vocality Stage 1. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation.

 

Tried to proxy her again and write down our conversations. I had a hard time getting responses, but when I did I got plenty of emotion in it. I eventually asked her if she was busy and I got an immediate reply of yes. So I told her we were going bowling in a bit, and she said “yeah” and so the conversation ended there. [2:25pm-2:29pm]

 

Session 2, (9/26/13), 1 Hour, [4:05pm-5:05pm] Active Forcing - Face visualizations. The base anime like state is starting to mix with what her real life face would look like. Her body is already realistic. I just have to make her face realistic now. I apologized for not being able to bowl today. She said," It's ok, I understand" which were some big words for her. Some good progress today so far. Status: Vocality Stage 1. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation.

 

Session 3, (9/26/13), 1 Hour, [9:30pm-10:30pm] Conversation and Other Forcing Method - Usual nightly storytelling. More talking and work this time around. Giving full credit. Status: Vocality Stage 1 and Narration. Stage: Facial Detail Fixation and Finite Body Details.

 

<40:45>

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