molaram1 September 30, 2013 Author September 30, 2013 My Plan ---------- I have come up with a technique that I am using to try and control these random subconscious changes: I basically imagine an object, for instance a rubber ball. Then visualise that ball being thrown around, dropped, bounced. Trying not to change anything, while keeping the movements as real as possible. So far this tactic seems to be helping.
molaram1 October 1, 2013 Author October 1, 2013 Day 9 --------- Well, I would love to say that everything is going smoothly, but alas it is not. I am starting to feel like the lack of visualisation is starting to have a negative effect upon my tulpa, I am narrating lots of the time, but its all passive. I am constantly getting very frustrated at myself whenever my subconscious starts messing around.
molaram1 October 2, 2013 Author October 2, 2013 Day 10 --------- I have been practising the "ball treatment" as I am now referring to it as, I have pretty much mastered it now, so I am going to try and advance it a bit. I am going to try and either add more things into this test environment, or add a background to the void. Once this is mastered I will try and bring Ember into this temporary void. Hopefully I will have this done by tomorrow.
molaram1 October 3, 2013 Author October 3, 2013 Day 11 --------- I am still working on the treatment, It seems to only effect certain things that I try to do, and only at certain times. So far, when I do try to enter my wonderland I cannot do particular things. But I am working on this still. On another note, my Tulpa doesn't seem to be connected to her physical form anymore. I can sense that she is still active. But not physically anymore. She always appears in one place in my wonderland, and seems to cling to that one spot in my vision. So when I look around, she moves. I am going to assume she no longer is connected to the body, maybe because of this subconscious annoyance.
molaram1 October 4, 2013 Author October 4, 2013 I have narrowed down the problem to human interaction. Any time I try to visualize myself or my tulpa doing something, that's when it causes the problem. This explains why Ember is heavily affected. But, now that I know what its happening to, and what I need to do to stop it, now I can work on sorting it out. I am going on a trip over the weekend, 6 hours there, and 6 hours back. I am going to use this to work on the problem. But I doubt I am going to be able to post anything while I am there, but I will update you all when I get back.
molaram1 October 6, 2013 Author October 6, 2013 Day 14? ------- So, I have been gone for a few days. But you haven't missed much, no major progress with Ember. But I have started, maybe even nearly finished fixing this problem with my subconscious: I have been just running through various scenarios, either in the wonderland, or just in blank void. This seems to be working slowly but effective.
molaram1 October 12, 2013 Author October 12, 2013 Day 20 --------- I am back, I have been taking a break from posting, just so I can get my thoughts together and also there hasn't been that much to talk about. I have been just casually working on my wonderland, doing a lot of passive forcing and some active forcing every day: During the active sessions I have been mainly working on the wonderland rather than Ember herself. I have been doing some sessions working on her form, but mainly I have been working on my wonderland. I now am coming to understand the full extend of the challenge I face. I am starting to learn to control my wonderland and the random thoughts that cause things to happen. I have only got a few things I need to sort out, like certain things relating to physics are playing up but I should be able to have them sorted out in the near future.
molaram1 October 15, 2013 Author October 15, 2013 Day 23 ------------ This last week I haven't been posting as much as I should, though to be fair there isn't much that I could post, I have been gradually working my way through problems in my wonderland as they arise. I feel as if Ember may be annoyed/angry at me, I wouldn't blame her though, but knowing that I have nearly gained complete control over my wonderland means I can start focusing more on Her now.
molaram1 October 22, 2013 Author October 22, 2013 Day 30 ---------- I have been struggling to think of anything to post on a daily basis, but I'm going to at least get something out once a week. I am still trying to fix the problems in the wonderland, like the fact that there is very little friction, but non the less I think this will be sorted in time. The other day I had the first sign of attempted verbal communication, she started moving around. Rather than assuming pupping I decided to go along with it. She walked over to me, and I remember her saying something, I struggle to remember exactly what, but I remember that it took me by shock as it didn't feel like it would if I was parroting.
molaram1 October 29, 2013 Author October 29, 2013 Day 37 ------------------ Well, I am now off school for a week, meaning I can have more time to force. I have been experimenting with methods that I used when I first started, just ones to help me relax but they seem to help my concentration as well. The one thing I never did with ember was give her a face, I always tried, but I could never get one to stick, as I could never focus enough for it to work. So instead I have gone and fused different peoples faces, ones that I see on a regular basis hoping that this might help, so now I have a picture that I can use to help me on the final parts of the visualization.
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