Making my Original Character into a Full-Fledged Tulpa?

[TerraSwolf]

Hello all, TerraSwolf/Terra/Swolf/Swolfy here. I'm new to the community, but have known about tulpas for a year, maybe two. In previous times, I had been afraid to make a tulpa, but now I would like to. Problem is, I have a character of mine who seems to be sort of... Sentient.

 

I'm not sure if I've just gotten to be that good of a parroter, or if I've gotten used to him being sentient, but there isn't a very "alien" feeling when he talks that most people seem to describe. Sometimes, though, I get bursts of emotion that do feel like they aren't mine, and they are at times when he's responding to some stimuli or another. I think that these actually are him, but him talking might be me parroting? In that case I also do a good amount of puppeting to the poor man.

 

I've got him down as far as personality and visualization go, I think, seeing as this guy's been around for four or five years, but has existed primarily through roleplays (however, he considers his role in them to be like an actor in a play, and that my mind is reality). He also wants to try and make the leap to being a tulpa (or at least I think he does, seeing as I'm not sure if it's actually him or me). To avoid me just parroting, I'm thinking of pretending to start him from scratch: Start with greeting, affirm his personality, work on visualizing, etc. Do you think this would be helpful or harmful to his progress?

 

Another thing that worries me: I don't want to lose him. Tulpa or not, me parroting or not, he's been very important to me. I don't want something to go wrong, like a huge personality shift or I end up having to absorb him back into my consciousness.

 

So yeah, pretty much I'm a confused n00b who doesn't even know if she's got a tulpa or not. Help would be appreciated, especially if someone's gone through something similar. If you need any extra information, or would like to talk to him, feel free to ask. c::

[curiousity]

I'm in the exact same boat as you. I've had a character for years(nearly ten, off and on) who has played many roles, but all of them are just roles. I've studied and considered making him into a Tulpa for a long time but I've been too busy with work and school and let's say family drama. I've never been able to consistently force.

 

I do feel impulses and glimmers of sentience from him and I do believe that he would like to be focused on more and brought to a full Tulpa. I've recently gotten back into really working with him and I started on visualization. The character himself was originally manga-like and I've been working on seeing him with realistic skin and hair and facial features. I'm clearly not an expert on this but I don't see how it could be harmful.

[Fredrikorex]

I'm not sure if I've just gotten to be that good of a parroter, or if I've gotten used to him being sentient, but there isn't a very "alien" feeling when he talks that most people seem to describe. Sometimes, though, I get bursts of emotion that do feel like they aren't mine, and they are at times when he's responding to some stimuli or another. I think that these actually are him, but him talking might be me parroting? In that case I also do a good amount of puppeting to the poor man.

 

I may only be a newbie when it comes to tulpas but I can relate to pretty much everything you've written here and I started my tulpa just 2 weeks ago.

[CyberD]

People come along with this exact question from time to time and the responses are usually mixed due to how individuals view the process.

 

I believe the tulpa process is all about interpretation. You are trying to perceive something in your mind as separate from you. Where the character came from or it's actions don't matter nearly as much as how you perceive it.

 

To me it already seems like you have a tulpa because the term is already so so loose. Changing the way you label and interact with him just very slightly could do wonders for your confidence in him and the idea and from there you are good to go.

 

The important thing to understand with parroting is that we never really stop, the words just become more foreign to us. The tulpa will always be a part of you and your thoughts will always influence it. The best way to improve is to practice. Talk to your tulpa so much it's words don't cross your mind before they are said. When it becomes automatic it appears to be foreign, that is when you have a "sentient" "independent" tulpa.

 

You don't have to start over, just acknowledge that you can indeed communicate with him directly. You probably haven't spoken to him directly as if he were another person. Do that and see what happens. Break the forth wall, because if you want this to work you have to see him as a tulpa and not as a character you only write on paper.

 

My final advice would be practice. The more effort you put into this the more you'll get out of it. Interacting with the tulpa will strengthen it, it'll make him feel more independent and if you keep at it as long as I have you'll never be able to go back.

[left blank]

I want to second CyberD's advice and provide some additional commentary.

 

My tulpa's inception was similar to yours, but I had no knowledge of a burgeoning tulpa community — I had to learn everything through trial-and-error. Asking questions and seeking him out in lucid dreams served to really bolster his development.

 

I think a good first approach might be to sit down and conduct a simple Q&A with your probable tulpa. Your questions can be premeditated or improvised, like an informal interview, but I would suggest documenting, to the best of your ability, all of the resulting discourse.

[TerraSwolf]

Wow, thank you all for the quick responses! Geeze this community is awesome. ::')

Also, does anyone have any tips as far as making responses more like his voice instead of mine? Because I can carry a conversation with him pretty easily, and while I sometimes feel the responses are his, most of the time it feels like I'm just putting words in his mouth. Like, I can ask a question, but the answer's usually there before I finish my question, which makes me think it's me. I'm also kind of lost as far as how to make him sound like him, and not my inner voice. Really, he still feels like he is, to a good degree, part of my consciousness, and not a separate one.

 

But yeah, don't be afraid to throw "common knowledge" at me/repeat something someone already said, because I'm the kind of person that needs affirmation from multiple sources to make me feel like I've actually understood something. ||D

 

Oh, actually, could anyone tell me this: What could I do wrong at this point?

[CyberD]

Of course, having confidence in the process is incredibly important. Take a look in the guides section for stuff regarding voices, plenty of people have had similar problems and there are all manner of solutions.

In my case it just took time and even now I'm still not satisfied with where we are at regarding his voice. Sometimes I really feel it is different but at others not so much.

Voice is always tricky though, it's difficult to come up with something detailed without simply copying a voice that already exists. Choosing a voice that already exists and listening to it over and over could really help but finding the right one might be a problem. That said, head over to the guides and read a few.

 

Your tulpa is a part of your mind so answering before the question is completely spoken isn't unusual. If it bothers you then keep it in mind and try to focus on when and why it happens. Beyond that, practice. The more you get used to the tulpa the easier it should be to keep everything separate.

In my case I don't really mind if this happens or not. My tulpa is in my head so it doesn't bother me if his words come quickly. I've reached a point where I know which words are his and which are mind, again that comes with practice.

 

Don't be afraid to ask questions. Good questions show you are thinking about what you are doing. Anyway, good luck.

[left blank]

Unfortunately I don't have time to peruse all the guides, so I'm probably going to repeat something you've already read — or will read — in at least one of them.

 

My first tulpa had a habit of correcting me when I tried to directly puppet his actions and words. ("No,""Stop," "That wasn't me," "Shhh," "That's not what I said," etc.) I would recommend developing a system of communication where your budding tulpa can tell you what he wants.

 

You can let him choose his own voice. One tried and true method for me is listening to different people speak, and then conferring with my tulpa to calibrate the desired timbre and inflection. Even if he's unable to tell you directly, it should feel right.

 

Another way I approached the problem of so-called 'parroting' was by outright denying the answers that felt too immediate, and then quieting my mind until I could 'listen' more closely. Sometimes the final words would match the initial impression, but occasionally I would receive a blunt statement:

 

"I didn't say that".

 

Finally, the most difficult part: Letting go of your attachment to his current features and accepting the possibility of deviation. He may not change at all, or his current visage may vacillate between the familiar ideal and his own customization, but the trade-off would be a more present, dynamic and foreign companion.

 

Speaking from experience, I'd say the deviations are probably the most exciting aspect for me. Unnerving, anxiety-provoking, but fascinating.