Breaddycat November 3, 2014 Author November 3, 2014 Thank you; I'll be sure to let you know if I ever need anything. It's getting late, and I have a lot of work to get done tomorrow. I might have to delay this- tomorrow night I'm going to be staying at a friend's house, and we've had plans for about two weeks now so I don't want to cancel. It might be delayed until Tuesday, mid-day or late at night, and I really don't know if I'll be able to wait that long. However, like I said, I'd rather go into this informed and well-advised and wait a bit. ❝ Where's the fun in playing a game if you let yourself become a pawn? ❞
Guest amber5885 November 3, 2014 November 3, 2014 Take your time and there's no rush just do what you can when you can and you'll be alright.
Breaddycat November 3, 2014 Author November 3, 2014 Okay. I really do appreciate your advice. Okay, I feel a little antsy and I want to do non-tulpa related things before bed so I will most likely be attempting this tomorrow. Any help would be much appreciated, as I won't be doing this til later. ❝ Where's the fun in playing a game if you let yourself become a pawn? ❞
Cinemaphobe November 3, 2014 November 3, 2014 Brown noise is GLORIOUS. I can always here my tulpa better through brown noise. Oh and I almost forgot to say; Welcome to the forum! "Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative." Yumi + Cinema
Breaddycat November 3, 2014 Author November 3, 2014 Thank you. I decided to go ahead and do a little bit last night. I closed my eyes and concentrated, trying to block out everything around me. I remember not really even being able to feel my body at one point. I used to dabble in sleep paralysis and hypnosis, and I'm really good at quickly letting my body go numb. Anyway, I can't remember exactly what I asked as this was last night. Questions such as 'are you still there' and the like, and then I began to apologize. Profusely. My insides felt both warm and pained, and I felt like I would break down in tears as I spoke. I didn't want to address any one of the tulpae I abandoned in particular, so I visualized a ball of white light, holding it protectively in my hands. I spoke to it and filled it with my true, honest feelings, and then begged whatever presence is with me to return to me before releasing the ball and letting it evaporate. The entire time, I had a throbbing headache in the back of my head. ❝ Where's the fun in playing a game if you let yourself become a pawn? ❞
Cinemaphobe November 3, 2014 November 3, 2014 I didn't want to address any one of the tulpae I abandoned in particular, so I visualized a ball of white light, holding it protectively in my hands. I spoke to it and filled it with my true, honest feelings, and then begged whatever presence is with me to return to me before releasing the ball and letting it evaporate. Absolutely beautiful symbolism^ Keep in mind that one of the steps to being forgiven, is self-forgiveness. You have probably already forgiven yourself, but for just in case you haven't done so... then...well...now you know. I have a lot of respect for you because instead of giving up on your tulpae and starting anew, you are taking the time to revive them or at least gain their forgiveness. Good luck! "Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative." Yumi + Cinema
Breaddycat November 3, 2014 Author November 3, 2014 I have a lot of respect for you because instead of giving up on your tulpae and starting anew, you are taking the time to revive them or at least gain their forgiveness. I still get emotional outbursts, so I know that at least one of them is still there. I don't think it would be fair to them at all to just scrap them and start over now. ❝ Where's the fun in playing a game if you let yourself become a pawn? ❞
Breaddycat November 7, 2014 Author November 7, 2014 I think I've narrowed it down to two entities who are currently still in me. One I believe I may have created accidentally. I'll report back as soon as I know more, I plan to do a two to three hour session tonight. ❝ Where's the fun in playing a game if you let yourself become a pawn? ❞
Guest November 7, 2014 November 7, 2014 I think I've narrowed it down to two entities who are currently still in me. One I believe I may have created accidentally. I'll report back as soon as I know more, I plan to do a two to three hour session tonight. Good job-- I'd have a lot of difficulty narrowing it down if I were in your position. And I also wish you luck on the 2+ hour forcing session; I may only be speaking for myself here, but I cannot seem to make it more than 20 minutes, at max, without passing out when doing active forcing.
Breaddycat November 7, 2014 Author November 7, 2014 Surprisngly, it was indeed my newest tulpa, Virus, that came forward. I felt his presence back again this morning, and when I did a lucid dream and tried to summon my tulpa to make sure I had the right one, he appeared in several- along with Trip. So I guess the theory about me having accidentally made one was, in some way, correct. ❝ Where's the fun in playing a game if you let yourself become a pawn? ❞
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