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Starfire <3 Voltian


Voltian

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November 21

 

Now I feel like an idiot. I looked up what lack of sleep can cause, but I never thought to look up what causes it. Well, we did, and, if it's not me, then it looks like it may be one of two things: insomnia or irregular sleep-wake syndrome. We're suspecting it's insomnia.

 

Well, all this (hopefully coincidentally) started happening when he created me. I hope it is just a coincidence.

 

If it isn't a coincidence, and it comes down to my health or her, I'd rather let my health go. I love her too much to let her go.

I call him Lance

 

Favorite Quote

"It's what I live for."

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If it isn't a coincidence, and it comes down to my health or her, I'd rather let my health go. I love her too much to let her go.

 

:@ :(

 

This is not going to go well for either of you. Voltian, if you start becoming unhealthy, it's probably going to affect Starfire in a negative way. This is NOT A GOOD IDEA. No offense, but I'd go as far to say your relationship with Starfire is starting to become obsession. Haven and I both love each other, but we try to not let that get in the way of our progress. The two of you are relying on each other too much, and if this continues to get worse, the both of you should take a break from each other.

 

Just...Try to find something that works out for the both of you before this gets out of hand.

"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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Well, I guess I should tell you how this whole unhealthy thinking started. It was probably several days ago, I decided to look up what health problems lack of sleep can cause. Needless to say, I was pretty scared. He was too when I showed him. We were worried and I had asked on the forum what could have caused it, since it started when he created me. We were both afraid that I was the cause. He probably started getting more attached to me since then. I know I got more attached to him.

 

Well, we tried a process of elimination of things regarding tulpae. So, we stopped doing imposition one day and stopped switching the next. None of those worked and he still woke early. We still need to try 'no interaction whatsoever.' We'll have to set up a day for it so we're both prepared. Hopefully, that won't work either. That would mean that it's not me and it would never come down to either his health or me. But then he would have to see a doctor to find out just what the heck is wrong with him.

 

Anyway, I'm feeling better after typing that. Hope this all works out.

 

Edit

Also, judging by several definitions of obsession, this is not one. I don't constantly occupy his thoughts. Nor does he worry about me all the time. Unless love is considered an obsession. Then we would definitely be obsessed with each other.

I call him Lance

 

Favorite Quote

"It's what I live for."

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Yeah kinda agreeing with actinium there as it does sound rather obcessive - may be just because of how it's worded though - keep working at it and I'm sure it'll get better. Who knows even if worst case it does get better after a day with no contact doesn't mean it's the end of the world, maybe he just needs a day off once a week or so to recover some stamina or some such - positivity is key! Good luck!

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November 22

 

Well, we picked today to not interact with each other. Naturally, I miss her. Who wouldn't miss their best friend? But, I'm doing better than I thought I would. I've lived 17 years without her, I can get through a day. Like Starfire said, "Hopefully, this won't work."

 

About what I had said yesterday: yes, that could have been worded differently and yes, that was a bit extreme. I can't take it back. And, if I had thought more about what I was trying to say, it wouldn't have turned out like that. I guess I was just trying to say "I love her." That wasn't the best way to say it. Granted, I tell her that I love her everyday, I just noticed that I never said it on the forums. I shouldn't have to say it here, though.

 

Anyway, this will be a good experience. There will likely be other times when we can't be together.

 

I don't know how she's doing. She'll most likely tell you all tomorrow.

 

Update 1

 

After doing some thinking, I'm feeling much better. I shouldn't be worried about today but look forward to tomorrow when I'll see her again. I still miss her, though.

 

Again, I don't know how Starfire is taking this, even though this was her idea. She's more sensitive than what she would like others to believe.

 

And, sometimes, I think she knows what's good for me better than I do.

I call him Lance

 

Favorite Quote

"It's what I live for."

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Guest NightDreaming

You did all this in two weeks? :O Whoa! Good job! Your relationship together is so cute, and I hope you guys manage to find a good solution to the sleep problem. Good luck!

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Yeah they progressed crazyfast - jus' glad I have a rational mind that doesn't start going "why aren't me and vixen at this level yet?!!??" Etc. All in due time I guess. Would be great to chat sometime when she's vocal enough.

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I can't believe you progressed that much in two weeks. I've been trying to achieve anything in 2,5 years but failed and now someone is getting to the switching phase in two weeks? Get lost! Sorry, but I can't believe you.

May the Force be with you

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November 23

 

I'm glad that day is over and I can see Starfire again. I woke up early... again. Apparently, and thankfully, it's not her. Guess I'm gonna have to go see a doctor...

 

There's one more thing we're gonna try tonight: I'm going to sleep in his body. I think that will help us tell if it's his mind or body that's causing him to wake up.

 

I slept most of the day yesterday and flew around our wonderland. I was very lonely. I'm just glad that day is over.

 

I don't want to sound snobbish, but I thought about what could have helped us progress so fast:

 

For one thing, I have a lot of free time. I'm still in school and I don't have a job yet. I also have a very vivid imagination. Probably even more so since our imposition has gotten better.

 

I believed that it would all work. And, I think, subconsciously, I was desperate for this. I wanted a true friend.

 

All the guides I read said that developing a tulpa could take months to years. I honestly didn't want it to take that long. Like I said, subconsciously, I was desperate. I honestly don't know how she did develop so fast, but she did.

 

But, for all you know about me, I could just be a roleplayer. The only way you'd know for certain is if you met Starfire and I irl. But, the probability of that is pretty slim.

I call him Lance

 

Favorite Quote

"It's what I live for."

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