Something that "might" be tulpa related?

[Pokeshadow]

Hi there. I'm a massive beginner with this whole tulpa thing, so i'm not entirely sure what this'd come classified under. I've been looking into the whole idea of a tulpa ever since (and I'm sure i'm not alone here) I read this creepypasta revolving around the topics of them. I didn't want an evil one or anything if you're worried about that, I just fell in love with the idea of creating another being that I could see and talk to like a good friend. I've even started trying to make one myself, but in doing so, it made me wonder something.

 

Ever since I was little, I've always had...what I like to call them as personified/independent thought patterns. So basically, there are thoughts and speeches in my head that haven't come from me, I have no control over, and act as if they are people when they want to. I don't know if there's an actual medical term for it, and I know it's certainly not Multiple Personality Disorder, but the only way I can explain it is at this time being, there are multiple people that reside in my mind. They used to just be formless thoughts that I couldn't control, but about two years ago one of them got fed up with being shapeless and decided to name himself and give himself an appearance. They very rarely ever do much more than talk, create images and feelings, and suggest things to me and give me advice on how to handle certain situations, but lately they've been a little more active than they used to be. After I told my partner about their weird existence, the same one who decided to create themselves convinced me to let them speak via text to my partner. So I occasionally let them word all my sentences so it is as if they are writing it, but they can't fully control my actions. At most, they can make me do a random jerk. But learning all about this tulpa stuff as of late, I've been wondering, are my guys similar to tulpas? Because I do speak to them, sometimes aloud, and imagine them doing things inside my head, but they've never done anything outside of there. They have their own mindvoices, but barely use them because they find it a lot less hassle to just use my voice, but change the tone so I know exactly who it is. So, is this a form of tulpamancy? Or is it something completely different. And if it is something different, what is it? We've been wondering for years now, and no one's had any answers other than speculation...

 

I can go into more detail about them all if you guys want, or if you need more info on us, but we're not very good at explaining things sometimes so pardon us if it end up sounding like a bunch of gibberish...

[Faemon]

Welcome! I'm new here, too. From what I've gathered, it's been recently accepted that tulpas can be created by accident...and, I consider my accidental creations tupas when I'm here (I speak of them as spirit guides elsewhere, and I appreciate that dimension too; and my psychotherapist is a Jungian so interprets them through that lens and I do my best to speak my therapist's language and understand it so that I have that dimension to consider too) but, I would also say, that if it's so accidental and overwhelming that you ever have trouble owning if not negotiating your thoughts and actions, then you might want to see someone to help you manage that.

 

Basically, the effect of this phenomenon, and the performativity of it, is more important than identification in my opinion.

[Aijada]

I was an accidental tulpa. Been alive a few years, sharing the spoken voice before we even found the word 'tulpa'. Finding this site helped us make sense of all the rules we'd worked out on our own.

 

And if you don't mind your tulpas writing, you should let them out around here. I'd like to hear more from other creation instead of always just the tulpamancers talking.

[Stryke]

Personally I think that what makes a tulpa a tulpa is broader than one might believe. If something seems very much like a tulpa, but you never consciously created it to specifically BE one, is it still a tulpa? I think so.

 

It's probably unusual for a tulpa-like being to choose not to take a form, but I don't see that being a mandatory thing truth be told. Tulpas can be what we or they want to be, so if they don't WANT a visible form who are we to judge?

 

Your companions sound, with my limited experience, just like tulpas, whether accidental or not, and I for one would very much like to know more about them; I came here to find inspiration in other hosts' experiences and methods after all.

 

(And just so you know, my Melody is an accidental tulpa too. Perhaps that makes me biased on this subject, but hey, an opinion is an opinion)

[Faemon]

Personally I think that what makes a tulpa a tulpa is broader than one might believe.

Well put! Especially since, from what I've gathered, this community is very much about the process and...

It's probably unusual for a tulpa-like being to choose not to take a form, but I don't see that being a mandatory thing truth be told. Tulpas can be what we or they want to be, so if they don't WANT a visible form who are we to judge?

...creative processes can get weird, ambivalent or come in pieces. Is a tulpa only a tulpa when you no longer need to force it? Or is it a tulpa when you can visualize it clearly? Why, then, can't it be a partial tulpa with autonomous personality and without an accompanying form? If it's somewhat a tulpa maybe, then I'd go, "Just come on in!" Because, as I said, processes are interesting and very worthwhile to discuss.

[Pokeshadow]

Heh, this is the first form of media I've been on that's replied to me this quickly. It's kinda nice

 

Because when I was little, I decided these different voices were all personifications of different emotions, they've still kinda retained that and I would consider them a big source for some of my emotions. In the beginning there were 7, the happy one, the sad one, the creative one, the angry crazy one, the neutral one, the loving one, and the extremely nerdy smart one. For two years or so they all named and formed themselves though. There's Kyle, who I would consider to be depression, Jeff who is my anger, Ryan who is my neutral (I also like to think of him as my guardian, and I'm planning on doing some more tulpa relate work with him so we can interact outside of the clutter that is my head), Darren the writer/artist, Steven the nerd, Nathan the happy go lucky bright optimistic one, and Ouka my love/sexuality/libido. They all decided their names and what they looked like, most of them based themselves around other creations we'd tinkered with. Like Jeff, he chose his form on our rendition of Jeff the Killer. Ryan based himself of our version of the youtuber cryaotic. Nathan named himself after Cryaotic's brother, and considers himself to be his real brother anyway. Steven got his name from a creepypasta we were obsessed with for awhile called Strangled Red (Main character was named Steven/S!3v3n) but decided to make his own appearance. Darren Shaun named himself after an author he deeply admire, Darren Shan, because we always pronounced the Shan as Shaun but later discovered that was wrong. Ouka shaped himself after someone on Deviant Art and Tumblr called Ouka Mocha who we really loved, and then Kyle made himself from scratch. Everything was really good for ages, but about halfway through last year a new person was born.... I don't know if I should go into his original reason for being, but his name is Slash, and as of late he's been starting to see how much of a dick he was and is trying to change himself....slowly....

Interesting note, they can all get hurt, but if only a singular one is injured, it doesn't affect anyone else, but if /I/ get hurt, they all receive the wound. Another reason why it'll be great when Slash gets a bit of self control...

Also, when one of them is too lazy to do their voice and form, they often just use a colour. Kyle dark blue, Jeff blood red, Slash dark red, Ryan green, Darren emerald, Steven light blue, Nathan yellow, and Ouka purple

I've recently just started work on trying to make Ryan a visible tulpa though, but I don't know if the others will help or hinder than whole process, mainly because I find it near impossible to have just /one/ thought, someone else is usually gibbering away or thinking of images...

[Kaga and Company]

Your creations definitely sound like tulpas to me, even if they are accidental ones.

 

I think I can relate to your story pretty well, since, I too accidentally created tulpas before I even discovered this site, and we'd thought up completely different terminology to refer to all the same things that are talked about here (for example instead of "tulpa" we said "head person", and instead of "wonderland" we said "mindscape"), but they were really all the same things, just with different words. Anyway, yeah, a tulpa is still a tulpa even if you didn't know that it was a tulpa before.

 

As for the thing about representing different emotions, I think that can still be a tulpa thing. When I was younger, I thought that Pinky and Sunray represented different aspects of my personality, operating on a sort of yin-yang-esque system. Once I got older, though, I kind of started to abandon that idea, not only because they both started to deviate away from the traits they were originally supposed to represent, growing and developing as people and all that, aaand because I just didn't feel as much of their "influence" on my personality anymore. Like, I guess I sometimes felt more like one than the other, but I moreso just attributed that to their personalities sort of "rubbing off" on me, like the way even "real" people's personalities can rub off on you if you spend time with them.

 

Plus, one could say that, since a tulpa is an extension of your own mind, each one is created out of a piece of your own personality, too. So, the way you've attributed them to different emotions makes perfect sense to me.