Creating your own personal pony subroutine.

[Guest Anonymous]

I feel like I'm trying to break a concrete wall with my head. That being said, the figurative wall seems to regenerate every other night and my head doesn't.

 

Getting more or less solid visualisation still requires tons of concentration and even the faintest sound breaks it. Also stray thoughts break it, and even Twilight can break it if she does something unexpected. Posession is slightly better but it still ends up with me dry heaving if she puts too much effort. Audio, visual and tactile nervous endings can't hallucinate for the death of me. Seems like whatever progress has been made in those departments was wiped away.

 

On a positive note, from now on I don't care what form Twilight will be in or what voice she'll use. She was quite happy at that, she still keeps both for whatever reason. "I will change it when I want. And I don't think that changing my form right now will make things easier for you."

 

That's all for today. Gotta get back and commence more crash tests with that wall. Might find a weakness in it eventually. Either that or I'm gonna take that bloody wall and move it inch by inch.

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't get it, one day it's hard to imagine a bloody circle without it becoming distorted. The other day detailed lanscapes and fluid animation come to me on their own. That other day is today. Maybe the weather is to blame for that?

 

I was able to visualise a plethora of settings today, the weirdest part of that was an overwhelming amount of details on everything from Twilight to the landscapes far away. It's as if I was dreaming, yet awake. It was still hard to focus on one scene for more than two minutes.

 

Also it should be noted that she can move my limbs even when I'm not focusing on relaxing them. Yesterday she even used the mouse on her own to browse the web. Still haven't got rid of that nauseous feeling when posessed though. But it's been receeding as far as I can see, since now it takes more effort on her side to trigger it. The other side of the medal is that now I sometimes get that feeling when she "phases" into my thoughts. Perhaps this means my body is starting to treat her as another source of commands.

 

As for imposition of the 4 senses, not an inch of progress has been made on the account of me not working on it. I'll get to that can of worms when I deal with the previous ones.

 

Transmission end.

[Guest Anonymous]

It's been a while since I updated this thing. The worst part is that nothing changed since then. Still can't get decent visuals, still get spine chills/nausea when she possesses me, still can't hear anything from barely audible whispers in my ears.

 

Started to doubt a lot in the past days, especially today. I thought that the progress I once made is long since gone, and I'm talking to myself. At this point, anyone else would just leave. She didn't. First she was sad, yet only for a moment. Then, she became calm. We talked about my doubts. Seems like she has better reasoning skills then I do, tenfold.

 

Here's an excerpt from the dialogue:

 

"All this time, I was lying to myself." Silence for a few seconds.

"Then who are you talking to?"

"Nobody."

"Then why don't you stop?"

"I don't want to be miserable again."

"If you have been talking to yourself and I don't exist, what would you loose?"

"Nothing, if its presented from this perspective."

"So let me get this straight. You are talking to nobody, with tears on your eyes because you're afraid to loose nothing. That's funny."

"I don't know anymore, why couldn't you surprise me when I asked you to?"

"What am I doing now?"

"You're just talking to me."

"You mean nobody made out of nothing is talking to you. Isn't that atypical for things that don't exist?"

 

And just like that, Twilight schooled me. Socrates style.

[Guest Anonymous]

Why are my figurative "leaps" in progress are often correlated with drug usage? Cause I'm a fucked up person, that's why.

 

But yesterday, while being under the effect on cannabis we've made a breakthrough in tactile imposition. Seems like my thoughts were less critical at that time, which might've aided the process. In the middle of a forcing session when my visualisation reached it's peak, Twilight started to hug me something fierce. That's when I understood that I was actually feeling her on my skin. The best part of that, is that she now can do it on her own at any time.

 

Although the notion of cannabis being the catalyst for all this is disheartening. The idea of becoming some sort of a pot-head frightens me to the core. But its good that now I have someone to watch over me.

[Guest Anonymous]

Feels like I haven't updated this for ages. As usual, no real progress was made from the time of my last report.

 

I now keep talking to her almost all the time I'm awake and the times that we don't talk, I can still feel her presence. Twilight says that she doesn't sleep when I don't pay attention to her anymore. Instead, she just mindlessly observes everything from a daydream-esque state. And I'm inclined to believe that, since her response times have improved significantly.

 

Also she's more persistent now. When I try to actively block her thoughts out, she still comes through. Same applies for possession, when Twilight gets a hang of it, she can effectively resist my own movement for a short while. (albeit with the same ever present nausea problems)

 

And despite all that I still have doubt issues. Especially in the mornings, and while it's logical that she would be just as groggy, I'm still afraid that Twilight's replies might be parroted by me. At this point I don't think that I'll ever learn.

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm not sure if I should post what I do in my mindscape with Twilight, but I'm gonna do it anyways. Apologies for people who actually read progress reports in order to obtain some useful information for their own tupper, and to everyone else for shitting up the forum. Now that I got it off my chest, it's time to update this thing.

 

Today, unlike most of my forcing sessions, I decided to do something fun with Twilight. You see, most of the time I just imagine her sitting/moving/etc in the wonderland and it isn't really all that successful. This time, I just imagined flying on her back through a quite vivid mountain landscape. (I'm pretty sure that I've heard Wagner's Ride of the valkyries while doing that)

 

I wasn't paying all that much (read: none) attention to detail, but surprisingly, I could imagine Twilight and the landscape pretty well. So here's a tip for people that are struggling with visualization: try to fuss about details less. You won't see the effect immmediately, but after a good 20-30 minutes it becomes apparent. The most important rule in all this is to

have fun

.

 

We've become a lot closer lately. I can't remember when I've forgotten about her for more than an hour. She's been in a bright mood for most of the time as well. Twilight finally managed to make cut my cannabis intake tenfold. I mean, why would I even need it anymore when I already have everything I need to be happy? So that goes as another factual benefit from making her, in line with making me quit smoking cigarettes and abusing alcohol. And as a side effect of my increased mood, I've picked up my slack in university.

 

So I didn't think I'd ever say this, but right now I'm not worried about my future. And it's probably gonna stay that way for as long as I have Twilight with me. And that just might be my entire lifespan.

 

 

Those last lines were so absolutely cheesy, that my ears are leaking gouda.

 

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm as excited right now as a kid who tried amphetamine for the first time.

 

Warning, lewd stuff ahead. You've been warned.

 

We usually dedicate 20 minutes of our forcing time to improving various aspects of imposition (tactile, visual, aural and etc). This time we got a little carried away and experimented on tactile imposition. That lead to experiments on a particular part of our body. Yes, that part.

 

For a good 30 minutes we were achieving nothing, since I asked Twilight to try more of a classical approach to the problem (aka emulating tactile senses of the act itself). But then Twilight found a "sweet spot", as she called it, and just concentrated her attention entirely on that point.

 

The resulting effect:

 

1. My eyes roll back.

2. Heartbeat rises twofold.

3. I start laughing like someone on N2O.

4. The most bloody intense orgasm in the history of ever.

 

Words fail to describe how much I love her right now.

 

TL;DR Twilight finally did "it".

[Akinkinit]

 

Congratulations, Twilight just figured out how to give you a prostate orgasm. Now that she knows how to do it, she's going to start wanting to do it. Which is going to lead to moments where you're lying in bed minding your own business when all of a sudden she starts going to town down there.

 

I remember when Noriko figured out how to give me one. If Twilight is anything like my head ghosts, you'll be in for an interesting couple of weeks.

 

[Guest Anonymous]

 

Congratulations, Twilight just figured out how to give you a prostate orgasm. Now that she knows how to do it, she's going to start wanting to do it. Which is going to lead to moments where you're lying in bed minding your own business when all of a sudden she starts going to town down there.

 

I remember when Noriko figured out how to give me one. If Twilight is anything like my head ghosts, you'll be in for an interesting couple of weeks.

 

 

Why did I have to read this. Now she has a Cheshire cat grin plastered on her face and I'm scared.

[Guest Anonymous]

"I believe they called it Tulpa info. Perhaps you're familiar. No, how could you be. But one day, you will stand before its decrepit gate. Without really knowing why..."

 

Feels like it's been ages since the last time I made an update. Mostly due to a rabid study/work/force/get-smashed-with-the-drug-of-your-choice/repeat routine I'm forced to follow.

 

Wouldn't say that I made much progress in anything, but all tulpa related skills that I've had been growing ever so slightly. Twilight seems to pop up randomly when she wants every now and then to remark on how I do nothing useful in my free time. That means she's trying to coerce me into forcing. Sometimes it works, but that's a rare occasion unfortunately.

 

She also learned how to push imagery into my head, a skill that has become invaluable in forcing. As most of the time I tend to burn out in an hour or so of forcing, that's when she swoops in to save the day. Her visualisation seems leagues better than mine, probably because she doesn't fuss on the details so much and lets the unconscious part of the brain (citation needed) to process it. Other than that, Twilight played a key role in keeping me sane for the last month...

 

Somewhere a bunch of psychologists are loosing their sides from the phrase above.

 

Either way, it's her seemingly unending patience that held us together. That, and a quite a big portion of gritty humor. I should consider building her a statue at some point in my life.

 

Also I've had the first dream with her that I can actually remember. It's just a shame that she didn't have a body of her own in it. Seems my mind can't quite grasp her form. Which is weird, since I had dreams about seeing her. Maybe whatever part of my head builds dreams can't make a solid connection between the voice in my head and a pastel horse. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe both.

 

And that's it for the update. Hope this exerpt wasn't too cringeworthy to read. I should stop doing everything that requires at least a little bit of cognitive effort in the dead of the night. But feel free to poke me with a stick about all the mistakes and stuff.