Surprised By A Tulpa

[MechanicalBride]

I haven't actively forced since the day I started creating a tulpa. I just can't bring myself to sit down and do it. I thought that my tulpa wouldn't make progress without actively forcing, but I was super f-cking shocked by her today. Okay, so I was reading the comments on the comment section and they we all talking about "Voices tell me to hurt people." and sh-t. And I wondered to myself "What if Calico were to do that? But then we'd go to jail..." and SHE SURPRISED ME SO MUCH BY SAYING CLEARLY IN HER OWN MIND VOICE "That'd be foolish." I freaked out and saw her smirk at me and go back to her book.

 

 

WHOA.

 

 

Also, I have a hard time going to wonderland because I'm nervous as hell, m8.

I shouldn't be nervous, but I don't want to come off wrong or accidentally take credit for something she does. .____.

 

Any suggestions for that issue?

[arcanemagic]

Yeah, I don't active force much either. I really should do it more, though. It makes Markus happy.

 

Anyway, as for the nervousness, I'd suggest just trying to let go. The way I see it, it's not going into the wonderland that's the hard part. It's differentiating between your mind-bits and theirs. It's something that I struggle with from time to time. When it happens I just try not to get caught up on it and continue. It works most of the time :p

 

Hope I. helped and good luck! :) PS: congrats on the speech! That's awesome!!! :D

[MechanicalBride]

Aiight, so there has been significant development, and since I have no one to talk to about this, you fine people get to read. =D

 

While I had to go through a two and a half hour drive, I decided to explore my wonderland to pass the time. It got kinda weird... So Calico and I went hand in hand into the woods, and I let everything just come to me. I didn't consciously create anything, either...

 

We walked through the woods for a while and I tried to imagine the smells, the sky, the feeling of Calicos hand. Then we eventually came to a giant golden/broken down letter 'r'. A bunch of bats came at us and one attached itself to Calicos throat and started sucking her blood. I was weirded out for a second, but she smiled at me and I let one suck my blood. ? After that, I looked at the sky and imagined a giant pirate ship made out of cloud. It was a long distance away, but I could still see the outline of cloud people.

 

Suddenly the bats were over there near the cloud people attacking them. The pirates were throwing things at the bats and killing some. I wanted them to come back, but i didnt know how. Then, Calico whistled and the bats flew back over quickly. I pointed to the 'r' for some reason, and they flew over and went to sleep on the circley part of the 'r'.

 

After that, we left the forest and went back into the medows. A giant black dragon flew overhead and made a pentagram of fire around us. (I may of had something to do with the dragon. Lol.) And then he landed in front of us. He spoke in an unknown language and Calico spoke back. I had no idea what they were talking about, but when they finished, the dragon flew off and Calico opened her satchel covered in blood sigils (which I've never seen before.) And let out a little blue ice creature. The creature jumped off and ran on the firey ground, putting it out. So, that was weird, but I know where the dragon came from. A giant castle filled my mind after that and it was INTIMIDATING. A name popped into my head. "Jakslien Kimbin" AKA "Kingdom of The Gods"

The kingdoms symbol was a little creepy, too. It was basically the illuminates sign but with a little squiggly line through the top of the triangle and giant wings on the back of it.

 

I swear to god, I'm not making this up. I didn't intentionally imagine this.

 

Anyway, I left the image of the castle alone because I was beginning to get uneasy and nervous. I drew a blank in wonderland after that, so I looked at the clouds for inspiration. I made a bunch of creepy ass monsters that could totally fuck humanity up, then I saw this giant cloud. It looked like it had other monsters coming out of it. So I named it "Withsbroth" "Mother of All Monsters"

 

I had a panic attack later on that night and I'm 80% sure it was because of the whole wonderland/monster thing. First day of actually exploring wonderland and I get this.

[MechanicalBride]

So, Calico surprised me the other day and I forgot about it until now.

 

I read about the suggestion to ask your tulpa to surprise you, and I did just that. She didn't do anything and I just let it go. However, a few days later while I was almost asleep, she thrust an image of a scary face into my mind. Then, the memory of me asking for a surprise came to mind. She jump scared me. My tulpa jumpscared me. I praised her for it, and was proud for a little bit, but quickly decided to go back to sleep. When I was on the brink of sleep, BAM. Another creepy ass image. I was surprised, but still praised her. After that she spammed me scary pictures (some were really freaky). I kind of got annoyed and asked her to stop, though I made sure that she knew I appreciated her interacting with me. She didn't stop so I just got too tired and blocked myself off in my study. Alone.

 

I hope she's not mad at me.

[AracnidsGrip/Rick]

May8e she is. May8e not xD. I don't know. You should talk to her, 8uddy! :D

-Vriska Serket Targaryen.