I require assistance

[Guest Anonymous]

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[WizardMassacre]

I'm very sorry for both of you. I'm not a tulpa, but I definitely know what it's like to feel worthless and suicidal all the time. The only advice I can offer at the moment (I hope I can think of something else later) is to continue talking to her, even during the times you can't hear her. She can probably still hear you, and it can help distract her a bit from her feelings. Eventually, it may over time get better because you'll be showing her that you truly care for her wellbeing. I'm not saying that she doesn't know that already, but depression can cloud your thoughts and make you deny signs of affection or friendship. I still struggle with this today, but people comforting me has made it better, so I hope the same for her.

 

I'm sorry if this doesn't help. I hope I can help more in the future because I know that this kind of situation is one of the worst to be in.

[Reisen]

Reisen: It's very common to not be able to hear your tulpas right after waking up. Maybe the part of your brain that manages them doesn't wake up immediately, but it happens to us too. Don't worry about it - you're both still together, and you both still know what's going on. Send each other reassuring feelings of love and calmness and wait it out. She's not going to randomly disappear from this, and I'm sure it's something that can be worked through. Anxiety and stress can have serious effects on your mental well-being, so try calming down and opening up more to her. Don't worry about things going wrong, and don't let your expectations stress you out, just relax and listen. Tons of tulpas have confirmed they can hear their hosts even when they can't talk, and mindvoice is even more powerful than words because it is pure feeling. So at worst, you stop using words and revert to that, and slowly work your way back to full-time activeness. Practice feeling her when you can't hear her.

 

Depression is never easy to outright remove, for the sufferer or those around them, but there are things you can do to help it. There's probably a mixture of legitimately negative circumstances, and your reactions toward them. But I've found those circumstances can often be dealt with with productive and positive thinking, and that your reactions toward negativity are basically always exaggerated and unproductive. You can safely ignore all negative thoughts you have if you are actively doing your best to deal with their sources. Things make you feel bad to give you incentive to try and change them. If you can't, or if you're trying, then there's no longer reason to feel bad - it's served its purpose and you've taken appropriate action. As for feelings of self-worth, I've personally seen tons of cases, including my host and his brother, who are wonderful people whenever they aren't depressed. All of the "I don't help anyone, I just make people feel worse, I should just disappear"-type thoughts, when you stop thinking them, stop being true. I work with a lot of people who suffer from depression, and almost always the entirety of the legitimacy of their negative thoughts about themselves would become irrelevant if they stopped giving credit to the negative thoughts. You don't have to be a superhero to be worthy of existing. Everyone deserves to live and be happy, no matter what kind of person or tulpa they are. That being said, it sure helps your self-esteem to do good for others, but it's not a requirement.

 

Just focus on the good and ignore the bad. Because the bad tends to go away when you ignore it - quite often it doesn't really exist. You giving it attention and legitimacy makes it exist. And if it really is a true problem, then do your best to fix it. If you can't fix it right away, you can feel good knowing you're trying. If you can't fix it at all, then you just need to accept it, or ask for help. Acceptance is powerful - once you come to terms with your reality, really accept it, it no longer has power over you, it's under your control. You have the power to change your reality, because you're the one perceiving it. If something's making you feel bad, change it, remove it, or accept its presence and remove its power to make you feel bad in doing so. You're in charge of what you feel, and how you react to the external world. If you don't like the way things are, you have the power to change them. And if you don't have the power to change them, you sure as heck have the power to change how you feel about them.

 

Just do your best. Take some time to just relax and not think about anything. Don't worry about things being wrong, focus on what's right. Whatever you give your attention to is amplified, so the worst thing you can do is think about how bad you feel. You don't have to pretend you don't feel bad, you just have to care less about that and more about why you should be happy.

 

We're here for you, and we appreciate your existence. Deal with what's bothering you, but remember to return to positivity right after. Make your mind a nice place to be. It's much easier to deal with problems when you feel good. They don't even feel like problems anymore at that point, and actual problems are easily dealt with. So do your best, and remember we're here if you need support.