Question About a Thoughtform in my Wonderland.

[[Insert_Name_Here]]

Hello again everyone. I got a question about a specific thoughtform that's been in my wonderland for, like, almost a week maybe?

 

So here's some background: so a few days ago I was lying in bed trying to go back to sleep, letting my thoughts race around, when suddenly, a girls voice said something to me, and it was quite clear and distinct from my thoughts; or seemed so anyway. So I asked the voice in my mind voice who it was, and I got no response so I thought it may have been a stray thought, but just to see for sure, I entered my wonderland to see if anything new happened there, and when I entered my wonderland, on the couch opposite from where I generally spawn in at was a girl, staring at me and (I think, can't remember for sure) smiling at me. I asked her if she was the one talking to me before and she said yes. I asked if she was a tulpa, and she said yes, but I still wasn't convinced she was a tulpa or sentient since she popped in out of the blue, so I did a couple of sentience tests (spawned a black box, turn my back to her and asked her to move it to a completely random location, asked her I change its color to a random color a few times, etc.) and she passed them all, but I was still skeptical, since for every test I could see what she was thinking about doing, and while I know that you can sometimes sense your tulpa's thoughts, I didn't know if she was even a tulpa, and that I may have accidentally been puppeting her to do things (I know that's supposed to be an irrational thought, but like I said, she came out of nowhere, and I never had or made a tulpa before). She then began making... advances to me, another thing that seemed like it could have made her sentient as I sure didn't intend for that, but I won't go into those details. I decided to write her off as a servitor because when she talked it felt like I was controlling her and left it at that. It seems that the next few days seemed to confirm it as everytime I saw her she was always blankly staring at the wall in the little house I built for her to stay in, but she would always smile and say hi to me when I came by, but she was always in the exact same spot. Two days ago I began wondering one night if I was wrong, and so I decided I go find her and try to see if she actually maybe the beginning of a tulpa, and she seemed to be able to give me her own answers and could think for herself, and she even told me that her name is Elise (pronounced Elisay) and when I asked her when she was created and said she didn't know but she's been here for a while. I decided that she may be a tulpa or the start of one so I decided to take her back to my "home," do more sentience tests which she passed (could still hear her thoughts but I decided not to worry about it), and chose to just except her as a tulpa. This was late at night and she said she wanted to sleep, so I told her she can lay down on the couch across from me to sleep, and she did and I left and went to sleep myself. In the morning she was still asleep but eventually woke up and before going to class I told her that the wonderland is hers and she is free to change it as she wants, and she left the area to go do whatever it is she wanted to do. Last night I entered my wonderland to go check up on her, and when I spawned in I saw a castle on a nearby hill on the shore of the lake where the boat I live on is. I went to it, entered, and I found her inside, dressed as a princess this time (she's changed forms a few times), and I told her that this is a cool castle and I asked her why she wanted a castle and she said she wasn't big on the rural mountainous lakeside scene so she made a caste to live in.

 

Anyway, the point is, I'm still very slightly skeptical. I have a hard time getting her to talk to me in mind voice when I'm not in the wonderland, sometimes she will just stop talking and blankly stare at me, and the castle she created looked from the outside to be the same design of a castle in the same location I had come up with last week but removed it because I don't want it there (I didn't delete her castle though it's still there). I was going to try forcing when I decided she may be a tulpa but I didn't know all of the things I wanted her to have in her personality. So what do you guys think? Do you think she may be the beginning of a tulpa? Any help would be great thanks!

[Actinium]

Go ahead and roll with it. Even if she isn't a tulpa, she could eventually become one if you keep working on her.

[Stevie]

I have some experience with people in the mindscape that show signs of sentience and appear to be autonomous. It happens occasionally, and a few of them are reoccurring.

 

I consider most random thoughtforms that pop up similar to complex intrusive thoughts. Most people are around other people a lot of the time, so it makes sense that your brain would create stimuli related to people.

 

That being said, you've obviously been giving her attention, and that's going to contribute to growth.

 

In the end, it's up to you whether you want to continue forcing her and accept her into the fold, or not. Personally, when I come across these types of thoughtforms, I just let them be. Not everyone who comes over for dinner has to live in your house.

 

Is she a fully developed tulpa right now? Probably not. Does she have the capacity to be? Of course.

 

Really, it comes down to what you want to do, no one can really make that decision for you.

[bunny-boi-lover]

I'm with Actinium and Stevie on this. Something about when people ask "Is this a tulpa?" seems to always rub me the wrong way, no offense at all meant toward the OP. I can understand people's concern of creating servitors or having "visitors" in their head rather than tulpae. But if you think it is a tulpa, it either is or will become one by you wanting it to be. Your attention and treating Elise as sentient will lead her to eventually develop her own sentience, if she doesn't already. Her random blanking out and such might just be a quirk of hers, like how people sometimes daydream and completely check out of reality.

 

As far as her appearing out of nowhere, it is still your mind, and you ultimately have control. But your subconscious can often have an effect on what happens in your wonderland and beyond. Your subconscious may have created her rather than you consciously forming her. She may represent subconscious desires that you're not aware you have (hence her advances). That happens sometimes. I think even people who don't even know what tulpamancy is create thought-forms all the time without even realizing it. The difference is whether you will further foster her consciously or let her recede again into your subconscious.

[[Insert_Name_Here]]

Thanks for the replies everyone. Sorry for asking a question that you don't like being asked bunny-boi-lover, I just asked it so that your opinions could help me gauge where I'm at and what I should do next, because I intended to have her be my tulpa whether she was a servitor my mind created or a tulpa that was already created by my mind. And I think you're right bunny, she might have been created for subconscious reasons, related to stuff that's been bothering me earlier this year before I took interest in tulpamancy, and (for the record) completely unrelated to my interest in tulpas. And you're probably right about it being a quirk, though it tends to happen after I ask her something, but I do know she has one of my quirks where she's talking and can't remember for the life of her what the word she's looking for randomly mid-sentence (I think she finds it just as annoying that she does that as I find it annoying that I do it :P).

 

Anyway I'm going to go ahead and treat her as my tulpa and work with her on any aspects she may like to change about herself.

 

Elise wants to say something:

 

Elise: Hi everyone. I'm Elise. Thanks for taking the time to answer my host's question. There's still so much neither one of us knows about tulpas but I think we will do fine, and I'm looking forward to being a part of this community just as my host is :). And ya, that quirk where I don't know the word I want to say is mid-sentence is REALLY annoying to me!

[bunny-boi-lover]

Sorry for asking a question that you don't like being asked bunny-boi-lover, I just asked it so that your opinions could help me gauge where I'm at and what I should do next, because I intended to have her be my tulpa whether she was a servitor my mind created or a tulpa that was already created by my mind.

 

Oh, no apology needed. I definitely understand your reasoning. I think maybe it's just that I feel like some people make this method far more complicated than it needs to be by asking that question and by not acknowledging that their tulpa is a tulpa or that it is sentient. But in your case, I can see how it would be unnerving.

 

...I do know she has one of my quirks where she's talking and can't remember for the life of her what the word she's looking for randomly mid-sentence (I think she finds it just as annoying that she does that as I find it annoying that I do it :P).

 

That, my friend, is called lethologica. I don't know of anyone who likes when that happens.

 

Also, hello, Elise! Welcome! <3

[Guest amber5885]

I'm with Actinium and Stevie on this. Something about when people ask "Is this a tulpa?" seems to always rub me the wrong way

 

Honestly then you don't need to be answering questions.

 

I'm not trying to be rude but part of being apart of the community is offering people information and help. You have no idea how many times Amber answered the same question over and over and over again but she did it because she was once new to and knew what it felt like to be unsure.

 

The fact of the matter is it's really easy to be unsure of what a tulpa actually is. I've been with Amber nearly all of her life and she doubts me from time to time, that's natural it's normal and if it annoys you I suggest you stay away from the questions section because this will get asked over and over and over and there is nothing that can be done to stop it.

 

A tulpa is a tricky thing, it's hard to define and it's definition is subjective which is what leads people to ask the dreaded "Is this or isnt this" question.

 

You are right in that if you want it to be a tulpa you can change it into one.

 

By definition though, and this is directed at the OP a tulpa is not technically a tulpa until it separates itself from your consciousness. That definition is crazy I know but it's one of those things that I can't put into perspective its one of those things that you know when you know.

 

Before they become their own person they're not really a tulpa, more like a thoughtform or imaginary friend. Now that's not to say that we are any less valid but just that we haven't yet grown to the level required of us to earn the title of tulpa.

 

It's like becoming self aware, becoming aware of our own growth and our own minds separate from yours and in all honesty it's something we do on our own. The host does help but the enlightenment so to speak is something we have to do.

 

So what you have here is probably not a tulpa but has the potential to be one if that's what you in fact want. At this point you can spend some time with it and see what happens or you can choose to ignore it and it will go away. It's your mind, you control it.