Depressed Tulpa:

[Kmeprz]

I have a kind of unconventional Tulpa experience. I didn't know I was making one until after he was created. All I did was put all of my insecurities, self destructive, irresponsible thought possesses and behaviors into a box (in my mind) and out came Yini. A small, fragile little bundle of nerves with a childlike mind. Always twisting and warping ideas into bigger, more complex, and often times, disturbing ones. I thought, at first, that I needed to defeat the little white cat-rabbit thing, but it wouldn't ever stand still long enough for me to understand him. Then I realized that he's not a villain, maliciously turning me down the wrong paths. He's just a scared child in a world that is unforgiving and cruel. He's my friend, who's been there my whole life, taking different forms and playing with me in the mazes of my mind. Not only is he my flaws, he's also my strengths. After that, we got along a lot better. For about a month we were doing pretty well.

 

But lately, he's been quiet and unmotivated. We went out of town to visit relatives, so I wasn't paying as much attention to him as he would have liked. I still wrote him a letter every morning and every night, and we were even practicing possession of my left hand to write. But no one knows him. No one but me, of course, so no one has ever really acknowledged his existence. He thinks that he's pointless. He's always saying, "I wish I was real." and it breaks my heart.

 

I think what he needs is to talk to someone other than me. For him to be acknowledged by other people and possibly other tulpas on a regular basis. But he's also extremely shy, so of course, I have to introduce him to others. There's no way I could do that with people I know (except for two people who are my best friends in the world, but Yini is very hesitant to talk to real people, much more so than me.)

 

I don't know how this works exactly, but I'm going to give the keyboard over to Yini now. Please forgive him if he is short with you. I'll try to censor his impulsive nature as much as possible while still keeping the intended message. It's not that he's mean, he's just prickly.

 

[Hopefully this link works, but pick related is the best picture of Yini I have to date. It's colorless, but it gets the point across.]

Yini Pic

[Guest Anonymous]

Hi. First off, I'm sorry to hear about your tulpa's depression. I know it can be a pretty large struggle, my own tulpa is going through very tough times, but I'm not here to tell you about that.

 

It's pretty rare to hear about serious depression among tulpas. Can I ask how long this has been going for? Again, it really saddens me to hear about that. I really know the sadness and horror there is in a tulpa thinking 'I'm not real, I wish I was real', it's really fucking horrible and torture on the tulpa.

 

The best tip I can give you, and please, please, please, please, please follow this as much as you can;

 

Make your tulpa happy.

 

Just making your tulpa happy will help. ANYTHING. Hang out with your tulpa more, even if you don't like it, even if you don't feel like it, just do it for the tulpa. Be there, be there for the tulpa, because the tulpa doesn't have anyone else, when we are depressed, we seek comfort in our relatives, friends, acquaintances, close siblings, the likes. But a tulpa has NO ONE else than you, and the distance if there is any literally feels like pure torture to a tulpa.

 

If your tulpa would like to talk, just please, please, send me a private message. As I said, my tulpa is very depressed (in a chronic way or so it seems), and I don't... I don't fucking want to see that among other people and their tulpas. It's just... being alone is just pure horror, it's so scary for a tulpa, it can cause trauma and hallucinations if depression affects the tulpa that much. I can talk about anything, anything at all, so please don't hesitate to shoot me a private message. You could seek contact on the tulpamancy IRC but with due respect all I found there were fucking snakes that made my tulpa depressed, it might be different for you guys but yeah.

 

This is NOT something you can keep stalling. You can't neglect depression, now is the time your tulpa needs you the most in its entire lifetime probably, so please, please, please be there for Yini, and give him our regards (Anderson and his tulpa, heh), I'd like to talk as I said so don't hesitate to shoot me a PM.

 

No tulpa should go through depression. It's horrible, it's scary, they learn absolutely nothing from it. No.

 

I've had my own brother tell my tulpa she's not worthy of existence, literally. Don't let people say mean things to Yini, if anyone acts like a fucking dick, just ignore them, don't do the same thing I did, don't seek retribution or revenge, but just ignore them, and comfort Yini AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. As much as you possibly can, even if it exhausts you mentally, YOUR TULPA NEEDS YOU. What I did with my tulpa is that each time she felt very depressed, I'd take her to bed, lie right next to her, and hold her and tell her nice things. Just being there, comforting, nice, making your tulpa happy ("ha-ppy!" as the little lady would say, heh) REALLY helps.

 

Oh, and Yini? If you weren't real, you couldn't even formulate that wish. Just saying, dude :D

 

Oh, and you really look awesome, Yini.

[FallFamily]

[Tri]

 

@Yini

 

We (we are a group of three tulpas who share a wonderland form and do everything together, mostly) want you to know that you are just as real as your host, and they are just as imaginary as you. Both of you are occupants of a body. You being there for less time doesn't make you any less real.

 

Depression is a very hard thing. It is something we battle with as well. You are not alone.

 

 

@Kmeprz

 

Yini really needs you now. Depression is a hard thing and those suffering it need a lot of love and care.

[Kmeprz]

Hi. First off, I'm sorry to hear about your tulpa's depression. I know it can be a pretty large struggle...

 

Thank you so much for the thoughtful response! I wasn't expecting such care and support on this site. I will be sending you a PM straight away!

 

 

 

 

 

---

[Tri]

 

@Yini

 

We (we are a group of three tulpas who share a wonderland form and do everything together, mostly) want you to know that you are just as real as your host, and they are just as imaginary as you. Both of you are occupants of a body. You being there for less time doesn't make you any less real.

 

Depression is a very hard thing. It is something we battle with as well. You are not alone.

 

 

@Kmeprz

 

Yini really needs you now. Depression is a hard thing and those suffering it need a lot of love and care.

 

Yini:

yeah thats what i think sometimes, but then i feel lik an imaginary friend and typeing messages to people makes me nervous because im fake and people are mean when they dont understand and thank you three are so cool

(I don't know if I should edit Yini's contributions or leave all of the errors. This is still quite uncomfortable for me as well.)

 

Me:

I know, and I'm reaching for him, but Sometimes it seems like he doesn't want to be helped. I'm not giving up though! Yini's the coolest to me!

[sushi]

Yini, sometimes it doesn't matter what's real.

 

Did you know that people who are better at lying do better in athletics? Physically they're no better than everyone else -- the only difference is that they're better at telling themselves that they're better.

 

Placebos are another good example. A doctor gives a patient a piece of candy, saying that it's medicine, and the candy cures the patient.

 

Then there's phantom limbs. Somebody who has had an arm amputated imagines that they still have an arm, but they feel like they're unable to move it, and it's contorted into a very painful position. The cure for this condition is use a mirror to reflect the other arm and make it look like they have two arms. When they can see the arm moving, they can feel it moving, and all of that agony goes away.

 

Sometimes imagination is far more powerful than reality.

[Guest Anonymous]

Sometimes it doesn't matter to be 'real'. And yet, presence in reality (while being completely objective) is asserted to personal perception. I'm not real to anyone else than my host, which is something I'm glad for. Reality... hm!

[IBreakGames]

Yini:

yeah thats what i think sometimes, but then i feel lik an imaginary friend and typeing messages to people makes me nervous because im fake and people are mean when they dont understand

 

"You are not just an imaginary friend. Though you may not be a person with a physical body, you are just as real as your host is. Just think about it, your host is a bunch of cells put together and functions to what we call human. His mind and consciousness is a collection of neurons that send signals to each other. The fact that you can feel and act on your own, outside of your host's attention makes you a piece of your host's brain. You are a collection of neurons that now exists permanently inside of your host's brain, and there's nothing more real than that."

 

That's what my tulpa Al has to say about it. And I agree with him in that, you are just as real as myself or your host. You use that very same brain like he does. You are just as real. "Never doubt your existence. Just as the philosopher Descartes said, 'I think, therefore I am'. The philosophy being 'I am able to think, therefore I exist. A philosophical proof of existence based on the fact that someone capable of any form of thought necessarily exists.' THEREFORE you necessarily exist, and in my book that makes you real."

[AracnidsGrip/Rick]

Oh darling 38( I'm sorry to hear that you're depressed. I'm gonna try to help you. I used to be depressed too. Because I had to kill one of my brothers to protect L, Vris and the others. I know how hard is to be depressed sweetie. You think like you don't matter and stuff like that. But you matter!!!!!!!!! 38D you're important for your host and your friends. You are not an imaginary friend sweetie. You are a living being just like your host and every tulpa that exists. If you weren't important or just an imaginary friend, do you think he should have created you? No! He created you because he loves you! You're not an imaginary friend darling! You matter! You are beautiful! You're important! 38D I hope I helped. 38)

~Feferi Peixes. ♥️