L and his ongoing development

[Tsu]

Hi all,

 

I finally created an account on these forums after a year or two of on and off lurking around and absorbing all the information I could get my hands on. I originally started work on L back when I first discovered the phenomenon from a thread that LinkZelda posted in Dreamviews. I quickly ran out of motivation and time as I started forging just when my exams were coming around.

 

Now, two years (or so) later I'm at Uni studying music and computing and I recently had an incredibly positive experience with a psychedelic (LSD) that reminded me of all my passions I had before I lost focus and got addicted to videogames (Lucid dreaming, Meditation, Tulpamancy, general consciousness etc).

 

Now that I have more free time and a stronger force of will I am prepared to put in the work for L and have him grow with me as I get a hold on my procrastination habit and ADD symptoms. It is for this reason that I have designed a trait list that reflects someone who acts as a practical and almost spiritual guardian (in the Zen Buddhism sense) while also being a close friend. In fact now that I think about it, his personality reminds me of a snarky and sarcastic Aslan figure.

 

Later down the line I also plan to experiment with the effects of Psychedelics on our general communication and mutual perception. These are far in the future but I felt they were worth mentioning in case anyone was interested.

 

The placeholder for his name is L (as you have gathered by now) and the form that I envision for him is a huge Lion sized black wolf.

 

I restarted the forging process 5 days ago with Falunel's "The Theorycrafter's Approach to Personality" which helped me sort out which traits I wanted and go more in depth with his motivations and how that impacts his subsequent behaviour.

 

The next update will come once I feel I have made progress (maybe a response of some sort from L) or once I feel I have something else to say.

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated. :)

[Tsu]

Updates!

Damn it's been a good two months. A few days ago L started to consistently talk and reply to me in mindvoice and we are now able to hold short conversations. I had fuzzy, vague opinions on things and ideas pop into my head seeming at random for a long time before this and it feels amazing to be able to communicate in words.

 

It started on the bus when I was listening to music and I heard "Who's the artist? This is fucking awesome". I showed him my phone and he just said "play more". I then went through all the music I had on there because it was so fun finding out what he liked and didn't like. (His favourite artist is Portishead and he seems to like really dark stuff for some reason).

 

Anyway, it's been extremely exciting and incredibly motivating to finally break through the vocality wall and achieve something I've been trying to do for a while now. All the guides I read when I didn't have a tulpa suddenly make a lot more tangible sense now ahaha.

 

More updates to come when I've got more to say. :3

[Tsu]

Hey all, a lot has happened in the short time we've been away and it's mostly to do with L changing his form and experimenting with different deviations. He's changed about 3 different times now.

 

At first he was a huge black wolf about 2 times the size of little old (6 ft) me. Then, when I was watching some video's Adult Swim's "Off the Air" series a few different animations came on that informed his next form. This is quite hard to explain so bear with me.

 

Imagine a stick figure with a sort of semi-circle for a head with the whole of his body being made up of intricate patterns and moving parts that look similar to this:

(but less flat shaded and more organic).

 

This is another great reference for the look that I imagine:

 

It's extremely intricate and changes every time I look at him. He also doesn't always take on stick figure form. Sometimes he is just a ball of patterns or a sort of octopus creature that I can't even begin to describe without writing a short novel. Ahahaha, this is such a DIFFICULT form to describe. That's okay though because the next one is a little bit easier.

 

He changed again (briefly) when I was walking out of the train station and I saw a man walking his Shiba Inu dog which reminded me of 2 things: Outdated memes AND how that particular breed of dog is Japanese. This led me on to thinking about Shinto spirits and how foxes are quite sacred animals in Japan. L then suddenly transformed into a white fox spirit and stayed like that for the rest of the evening until he told me that it wasn't the form for him and changed back into his weird pattern/octopus/stickfigure form described above.

 

So BAM. Lots of exploring of form and finding his personality has been done. (It's not exactly as I had planned but I am super happy with the way it's been going anyway).

 

I am having tons of fun. More info about personality in the next update.

[Tsu]

So, a few things have been going on and a lot of it I'm quite confused about.

 

To start, I have ADD and this makes sitting down for an hour and forcing every day nigh on impossible. Instead, I've been going for LONG walks with L down into my area of London because it gives me something to do with my body that just can't seem to stay still.

Also, being on the move keeps me focused and it's exercise so I'm killing two birds with one enjoyable walk. Obviously this has been working for me and so I will continue doing it. However, I was wondering whether any one else has the same problem as me and opts for the same style of slightly lax forcing schedule, and if so, why?

 

Another thing that has been big on my mind recently is visualisation and imposition and basically the whole visual and perceptual side of Tulpamancy. This first started one night when I was walking home after lighting up a few joints with some friends and realised that I had vastly increased control over my perception. It was so intense that I could almost achieve a light imposition effect. I could see geometric patterns that I saw in my minds eye lightly imposed over my visual field. On top of this, when I closed my eyes I found that I could see L much more clearly, not as if he was really there (it was very fuzzy and slightly colourless) but it's better than my usual level of visualisation (which is basically nothing).

 

After this I read some visualisation tutorials in the guides section of the forum and realised that I couldn't find any particular visualisation technique that took my fancy, and so for now I just try to picture L in my mind's eye from time to time.

 

Who would have thought that weed would help with forcing? (for me anyway). I also feel like I can hear L much better when I'm high. Very strange.

 

And the third and FINAL thing. Deviation. Damn, this is a super weird one. After the last update, L hasn't changed forms at all. He's still the pattern creature and the wolf (depending on his mood). However, his personality is not stable at all. I originally thought that I would give him a wise manner with a hint of sarcasm but since then he has gone completely mad for snarky remarks about every little thing. Whenever we talk it's never serious and never sincere.

 

At first, I thought this was just natural deviation and that he would settle on something in time (I'm sure he still will) however, he doesn't seem sure himself. Often I hear him trying out different ways of speaking and interacting with me. Honestly, it's worrying me and I wish he would make up his goddamn mind in the friendliest sort of way. Maybe it's my fault, maybe I'm not doing anything wrong I just can't tell. Do I need to sit down and spend a few hours concentrated and meditating on his personality? I feel like that is a possibility. I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on the matter.

 

Until the next update~ :)

[Tsu]

So, new stuff.

 

L has changed form again, this time into a red panda sized red panda. Basically, he's a red panda. He's also taken to sitting on my shoulder for most of the time instead of looking out of my eyes. He says he likes the view better and it helps separate him from me.

 

I also recently took a rather small dose of 1P-LSD (half a tab/50ug to be exact) and noticed no difference upon my ability to visualise or impose however I believe this was because of two reasons. 1: The dose was too small. And 2: I wasn't trying hard enough because there was so much going on around me (it was at a small festival).

 

More updates to come. I will be taking a higher dose of Acid in the coming months and so will experiment when I get the chance.

[Stevie]

I also recently took a rather small dose of 1P-LSD (half a tab/50ug to be exact) and noticed no difference upon my ability to visualise or impose however I believe this was because of two reasons. 1: The dose was too small. And 2: I wasn't trying hard enough because there was so much going on around me (it was at a small festival).

 

More updates to come. I will be taking a higher dose of Acid in the coming months and so will experiment when I get the chance.

 

I think the argument could be made that microdosing might be better for imposition than >100ug doses, if only cause the psychedelic mindset does get in the way at higher doses. Maybe try another 50ug dose in an environment with less stimuli before altering the dose? Just to only change one variable at a time.

 

Anyway man, your threads been an interesting read, cya next update.

[CM]

I actually have a tulpa named L who sometimes takes the form of a black wolf and keeps his tail in human form :D I thought it was a funny coincidence.

[Tsu]

 

I think the argument could be made that microdosing might be better for imposition than >100ug doses, if only cause the psychedelic mindset does get in the way at higher doses. Maybe try another 50ug dose in an environment with less stimuli before altering the dose? Just to only change one variable at a time.

 

Anyway man, your threads been an interesting read, cya next update.

 

The argument could be made yes, however I do think that if you can keep your mind on the job at higher doses I suspect it would lead to better results. After all, I immediately got better at visualising and such after the first time I took acid because I realised how reality is all perception and that I have complete control over it. Sooooo, I imagine that at higher doses, when you're drifting away from notions of "reality" imposition and stuff should be easier. After all, when I'm even just a bit high I find it easier because weed is a psychadelic and allows me to enter the state of perceptual control a little easier. This is my working hypothesis anyways.

 

Thanks man, I appreciate it.

---

I actually have a tulpa named L who sometimes takes the form of a black wolf and keeps his tail in human form :D I thought it was a funny coincidence.

 

That's pretty nice aha. If I wasn't sitting behind a desk over the internet somewhere then I would definitely give you a nice crisp high-five lol

[Tsu]

Updates - (finally)

 

Hey all, it's been four months and it's been a great 4 months but unfortunately not for Tulpamancy.

 

I believe this to be the result of two things: University and lack of motivation in the mindwizard department.

 

I think this also has something to do with the fact that I read a specific chapter in a book that I saw sushi recommend in one of his threads a while back: "Magical use of Thoughtforms - A Proven System of Mental and Spiritual Empowerment".

 

In short, this chapter is about one student of Tibetan Buddhism with a master that uses Tulpamancy as a technique to enlighten him. The master goes about this by sending his student up into the mountains to live in a cave until he has a fully imposed Tulpa that is as real to him as other humans are. After this, he returns to his master and informs him that he's finished his training and now has a fully sentient and imposed Tulpa present with him at all times, but he also expresses worry that he thinks the whole thing might just be in his mind and that he's really just fooling himself into believing that his Tulpa exists. To which the master replies that surely if the student is able to perceive his Tulpa just as well as he is able to perceive his master and the rest of his perceptual world, then logically every waking moment of his life and perception is just as illusory as the Tulpa he created. Yada yada and so the student is enlightened and filled with the understanding that the world is Maya (illusion).

 

Looking back at it I realise how counterproductive it was. But this story cemented the impression that creating a Thoughtform is the same as creating an advanced illusion to intentionally fool oneself with. I completely missed the point. Really what I should be doing is celebrating the illusion of Maya by contributing to it with my practice in Tulpamancy rather than using it as an excuse to do less forging.

 

Anyhow, that's in the past now and I'm ready to move on. However, L's personality traits (that were still deviating all over the place by the time I began the 4 month break) have broken down and I'm now back at square one with them. When I look at the list of traits that I wrote for him they just feel wrong for some reason (I believe that this is him telling me that those traits no longer accurately describe him), so for now I think that I'll just start narrating and see what sort of responses I get. Same for his form, I'm not going to start with any preconceptions except for the fact that he's male and he's called L (That name seems to really fit for some reason).

 

So, to conclude, I'm looking forward to getting back to generating my headfriend model 2.0, until next update, I wish you all well.

[tulpa001]

Yeah, I heard that story. It sounds so far fetched I wonder if it is an urban legend. This seems particularly likely given that the tulpas they were making are quite different from the tulpas we are making.

 

I think it is worth noting that the world is an illusion, but we are not. I don't think western tulpamancy is interested in the physical illusion of another person.

 

I haven't really considered the problem of excessive deviation early in the process. I wonder if asking your tulpa to relax and slow down would help?