Garrett and Lilly's Progress

[Garrett and Lilly]

Okay, so, first progress report. I created Lilly a few days ago, and while most people have to wait a week to a month before their tulpa becomes vocal, I believe Lilly is already vocal. She does not, however, talk very much. Her form is a red energy orb, because I wanted her to be able to pick her own later. She doesn't talk much, as she's so new, but hopefully with how much forcing I've been doing (Passively forcing literally the entire day every day since I created her, and actively forcing for as long as I can manage to stay focused/awake before I go to sleep) she'll progress quickly. Back to her not talking much, she literally only talks when I ask a question, and I think a lot of her responses are parroted by me, but I know that at least some are her. I'll post another update when more progress is made.

[Garrett and Lilly]

I know it's only been a day since I posted this progress report, but I think this warrants at least a small progress report. Just letting everybody know, and I'm not sure about this, because I'm still parrot paranoid lol, but I think Lilly actually started a conversation with me instead of waiting for me to ask a question. It wasn't much, just kind of a "Hi, how you doing," conversation, but still, just wanted to let everybody know. *EDIT: I forgot to mention that I also get some of her emotions on my face occasionally. During some conversations, even if I'm not particularly happy, I get a small sense of happiness and a twitch of a smile on my face. My wonderland is a huge island with a forest in the middle, a cove, and ocean all around it (duh, it's an island lol), and all the water is crystal clear. When I went swimming in the ocean with her and met a bunch of manta-rays, which of course I created, I kept getting twitches of a smile on my face repeatedly even though I wasn't particularly happy. I assume this came from Lilly.

[Marianne]

Good Lilly. Use face of Garrett.

Xxx

[Naturegirl1999]

I'm kind of where you are now, passively forcing, Sally has a form, but she doesn't talk much. I'm hoping we can have a conversation that she starts.

[Garrett and Lilly]

Okay, so, I'm worried. I haven't mentioned it up until now because I was hoping it was a temporary thing. Lilly and I were both exhausted, so we were just using head pressures to talk. Front for yes, back for no. I asked her if she wanted to exist, because I hadn't thought about if she wanted to up until then. I got a firm no. I have not been able to talk to or even have head pressures from her since. That was the night of my last post. I'm starting to get really worried.

[TinFoilMkIV]

Okay, so first thing, do not accept that she's actually gone. It doesn't sound like you have, but if you're considering it, DO NOT. Your own interpretation of things can have a strong influence especially early on. I very strongly doubt she actually want's to disappear based on what you've reported so far, being happy with several of the things you've done together and whatnot. That said, it's not impossible, however even if that is somehow the case, DO NOT LET HER DISAPPEAR YET.

 

Even assuming the worst that for some reason she actually does want to stop existing, that isn't even remotely fair to you. This whole tulpa thing is a two way street. She's allowed to want what she wants, but deciding something like that and just disappearing without even giving a half decent explanation to you is not fair in the slightest, and she owes you some form of explanation at the very least.

 

I would say it's far more likely that something is, or did interfere, and you may be subconsciously blocking her out ever since that event and she hasn't figured out how to get back through to you. Whether or not this is the case, you need to set aside some time for an active session and really focus on getting through to her. If you haven't accepted that she's permanently gone, then she isn't. She's still in there somewhere, you just have to reach her. One way or another there are things to be talked through here. Either something went wrong and is getting in the way, or you at least deserve and explanation.