Gracenote August 7, 2012 August 7, 2012 Hello, everyone! So this is my progress report thread, and I'll be updating it regularly. Anyhoo, let's get started! Day One Day one of my endeavor in creating a tulpa was Monday, August 6th, 2012. The weekend prior was when I first learned about this technique and way of life (Friday, August 3rd, 2012, to be exact). It really intrigued me, and soon enough, I became positive that this was something I wanted to try. After some thinking and contemplating, I decided to make my first tulpa a shape-shifting MLP:FiM OC mare named Nocturne. She could be both a pony and an anthro-style humanoid. As of right now (Day Two, Tuesday, August 7th, 2012) I still do not have any reference or drawing or inkling as to what she looks like (other than that she is a Pegasus pony). With that in mind, I knew that it would be quite difficult to start off with visualization first. So I decided to work on her personality to begin with. Monday, August 6th, 2012: I had set aside a time to start the tulpaforcing process, which was 3:00 P.M., precisely two hours after I return from summer school classes. Little did I know that I had a therapy session at the same time. So, after my session, I arrived home at approximately 4:15, and immediately went up to my room. I locked the door, turned off the lights, turned on the fan in order to create an ambient white noise that helps me focus, and sat down on the floor. This was approximately 4:25. I shut my eyes, and for a moment or two, cleared my head of any other thoughts. I then proceeded to say hello to Nocturne, introducing myself, and from that point on, I introduced herself. I listed all the traits that she has and how they affect her and her life. Here are the traits I listed (to the best of my memory): Kind, compassionate, loving, happy, modest, patient, fun, silly, intelligent, wise, open-minded, supportive, free-spirited, calm, emotional, trustworthy. There may have been a few more, but I cannot remember at the moment. Anyway, I went into heavy detail with each of those traits, often tying two or more of them together (i.e. PATIENCE comes from her KIND and COMPASSIONATE way, etc.) for roughly 45 minutes. I am not certain of this figure, since I didn't check. After I finished with her traits, I kind of drawer a blank for a moment, then just began telling her about my day, about different things, about myself, about my family a little bit. I kept apologizing to her often, telling her that I'm very new to this whole experience and that I have no way of knowing if I'm doing it right or not. Not only that, but there were moments when I said to her and myself just how much I feel like this won't develop into anything. But nevertheless, I did my best to keep faith in myself and told her that I wasn't going to give up on her. And I didn't. I kept on talking to her, sometimes my talking being drawn out and slowed considering I had no idea what to talk about sometimes. At one point, I got up onto my bed and lied down, since I was feeling tired. And I told her that; I reassured her that I was not going to stop talking unless I told her I was. And at sometime, I told her that I was getting drowsy and that I'll continue a later time. I stepped out the room at approximately 6:15 P.M. So all in all, my first session lasted almost two hours, with 45 minutes being personality building and the rest narrating. Fast-forward to approximately 11:30 P.M. I decided to narrate some more out loud to her; I talked about my school, how my life is going, new things going on in my life. I told her about how I'll soon be getting my driver's license, to which I promised her that one of these days, I'll just grab the keys and go on a destination-less road trip, where it will be just me and her. I started to feel some tears in my eyes, just from the fact of how wonderful and beautiful it all sounded. Her and I spending quality time together with no one else to bother us and get in the way. At approximately 12:20 A.M., I told her that I was really sleepy and wanted to go to bed. So I told her goodnight, and soon I passed out. That's pretty much all of day one for you guys. Total amount of tulpaforcing hours = approx. 3 hours, but more like 2 hours & 40 minutes.
Avalanche August 7, 2012 August 7, 2012 Sounds like a capital first day chum. Usually I have something to add to advise you but there is nothing really. frt
Gracenote August 7, 2012 Author August 7, 2012 Thank you very much, Avalanche. That means a lot to me. Gonna fit in another tulpa-forcing session today; hopefully I'll get a report by tonight.
Gracenote August 8, 2012 Author August 8, 2012 Day Two Quite a lousy day, if you ask me. I hardly got anything done. Here's what I did get done: I narrated to Nocturne in my mind a little bit during summer school classes; this was in the morning of Tuesday, August 7th, 2012. After that, I didn't narrate again until roughly 10:35 P.M. That night in my bed. I basically just vented some of my frustrations to her and my feelings and such. I ended up falling asleep on her after like half an hour, though, which I apologized profusely about today. Total amount of hours = approx. 3 hours and 20 minutes. (I added ten minutes to it because of the little narrating I did during class).
Gracenote August 9, 2012 Author August 9, 2012 Day Three A much better day, since I got much more done than the day before. With that being said, I feel like I could have gotten much more done that what I did. So the day started off in a painful way; I woke up with a bad headache. This may not be worth mentioning, but I read a few things about how headaches are a common result of tulpaforcing. Anyway, I went to school and narrated to her quite a bit while working, around half an hour's worth I would say. I had to stop and tell her I would talk to her later at one point, though, since I had a ton of work to do and it was preventing me from doing it. Fast-forward to around 6:30 P.M. I went into my room, shut off the lights, and started narrating out loud to her again. This went on for about an hour (not entirely sure, since I didn't check). But once again, I fell asleep on her. I woke up at around 8:45 and realized this, and felt awful, and apologized profusely. Total amount of hours = approx. 4 hours and 50 minutes.
Avalanche August 9, 2012 August 9, 2012 You don't need to always turn off the lights and shut yourself in your room. Just focusing on your tupper is good enough. Although if it helps you concentrate then by all means. Don't worry about falling asleep on her. At most it is just an inconvenience to them. Getting distracted and daydreaming is just as bad an offence, so don't beat yourself up about it. I would guess that she is more annoyed by the constant apologies from you more. Just try not to fall asleep. frt
Gracenote August 9, 2012 Author August 9, 2012 Alright. Yeah, REAL people have told me the same thing many times; that I apologize too much. I just feel guilty a lot, heh.
Lauren August 9, 2012 August 9, 2012 Sounds like things are going well for you and I can't wait to meet Nocturne when she's ready :).
Gracenote August 10, 2012 Author August 10, 2012 Day Four An interesting day, indeed. My school had an overnight summer field trip, so I wasn't sure how much I was going to be able to force. But, to my surprise, I got quite a bit done. We didn't leave until around 1 PM, and since I got all the work that I needed to do done before most people, I was able to relax and narrate to Nocturne for quite a bit. I narrated three times throughout the day, each time being 30 minutes each, give or take. Not sure how it came up, but at one point I even sang to her one of my favorite songs, "Creep" by Radiohead. There were other people around, so I didn't belt it out or anything, just sang softly to her and myself. Total amount of hours = approx. 6 hours and 20 minutes.
Guest applesauce99 August 10, 2012 August 10, 2012 Lauren, who's tulpa are you again? I have a horrible thing with remembering people's tuppers...
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