NanaTama August 12, 2012 August 12, 2012 Y'know, i like to think of my tulpa as someone who'll always be there and would never even allow me to give up on something i try, someone who, if i ever feel like giving up on something i started, would tell me straight "No, don't you even think about it you fucker, you go there and finish it!". I'm kind of like what you described, but i don't think of this as just something else i won't finish, i think about this as the end of that part of me that keeps fucking up.
Sands August 12, 2012 August 12, 2012 Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I never wanted this in the first place. Perhaps I didn't realize when I started this that I was gonna throw in the towel before even finishing, like I do with EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING IN MY PATHETIC AND WORTHLESS EXCUSE FOR A LIFE!!! I'm never going to get anything in my life done EVER. Might as well get the toaster and start a hot bath. Nice overracting bro. How about you start finishing things instead of bitching about them next. Bet it will make you happy like a pig in shit, y'know what I'm saying? We could just wallow there together, chilling in the cool mud, saying fuck you to all foxes, wolves and foxwolves, just being pigs in the shit. Woah man. The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)
Kiahdaj August 12, 2012 August 12, 2012 If this is important to you (which it should be), then do it. Once you get this done, you'll probably be bettered as a person. Your tulpa will likely help you with things that you often give up on. They can help encourage you, and so forth. Think of this kind of like you should if you are in prison for a long time. Go through the process day by day. Do NOT think about how far along you are, or how much you have to go. Just get through each day individually. If inmates who are in prison for decades constantly THINK about the length of their sentence, it can drive them insane. The secret to getting through a long sentence is to make you goal be to finish the day. Each day. "If this can be avoided, it should. If it can't, then it would be better if it could be. If it happened and you're thinking back to it, try and think back further. Try not to avoid it with your mind. If any of this is possible, it may be helpful. If not, it won't be."
Gracenote August 13, 2012 Author August 13, 2012 Day Seven Sunday, August 13th, 2012. While I was feeling particularly down, I decided to put my shoes on and go for a walk around the neighborhood. Throughout the entire time (which was roughly an hour) I narrated to Nocturne (albeit in my head, considering this cold I've come down with is hurting my throat so I can't really speak). Total amount of hours = 8 hours and 20 minutes.
Gracenote August 14, 2012 Author August 14, 2012 Day Eight Nothing. Nothing got done. Didn't do any narrating or forcing. And I feel like a jerk. Sure, I was quite sick with a cold and mild fever, but still, I should have at least said something to her. Total amount of hours = the same.
Avalanche August 14, 2012 August 14, 2012 How bad. We all have days where we just can't force for whatever reason. What would mean more to her now is if you decided to force, rather than wallow some more and eventually give up. frt
Gracenote August 16, 2012 Author August 16, 2012 Day Nine Did about half an hour before going to bed; don't remember if I fell asleep on her or not, but I apologize just in case. Total amount of hours = approx. 8 hours and 50 minutes.
Gracenote August 16, 2012 Author August 16, 2012 Day Ten Went to school and narrated mentally to Nocturne for about an hour, till I realized how much it was distracting me from finishing the huge amount of work I had to do. Later on, at roughly 11:00 PM, I narrated aloud to her, for approximately half an hour until some people called me on Skype. Total amount of hours = 10 hours and 20 minutes.
Gracenote August 17, 2012 Author August 17, 2012 Day Eleven Being the foolish person that I am, I ended up pulling an all-nighter. At roughly 6:00 A.M., I sat down and forced for about 40 minutes, using the last 20 minutes of the hour to get some kind of sleep before having to get ready for school. This time, I even cleaned up a little bit and made some space for her to sit, since I was on the floor. I would have forced more that day, but my mind was so clouded up from being so tired. Total amount of hours = 11 hours.
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