Sign in to follow this  
Mirichu

How to help host feel comfortable in the front?

Recommended Posts

We're currently dealing with our host not wanting to front out of anxiety. We already knew fronting isn't her favorite activity, but we never expected it to be this bad. We want everyone in this system to feel comfortable fronting, even if they say they probably won't front that much, just in case.

 

Anytime I bring up the idea, she panics and refuses to do it. When I do manage to convince her, she doesn't last more than one minute before asking me to take back control. I wouldn't mind so much if she simply didn't want to front anymore. But I know very damn well that the reason she doesn't (other than fronting streaks), at least when asked, is because she doesn't feel comfortable. I think there are two reasons:

 

  • She doesn't know how to be herself anymore while fronting. Most of her habits, thought patterns and behaviors have been replaced by mine. And so she feels hollow when she fronts, as if she didn't know who she is (goes away when she stops fronting). The best way I have of describing it is that she feels like she's the tulpa while I am the original. Now, we don't really believe that, still know who's who, it just feels that way. When she thinks of fronting, she doesn't think of controlling her body, but mine. That makes her anxious.
  • When she fronts, my presence isn't as strong as it usually is. I think she might have become a bit emotionally dependent on me. She doesn't feel safe or comfortable if she's not feeling my presence, as if I was some sort of shelter.

 

The past couple weeks I tried to get her to front. The first days she managed to do it for a few seconds, but short after that she just refused to even try at all. There are still things I want her to do by herself but there's not much I can do if she isn't able to bring herself to control the body.

 

Any advice? has anyone ever faced something similar?

 

 

Edited by Mirichu

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe try back-seat fronting for a little while. While you control the body, have Miri tell you what to do. That way, Miri can get the best of both worlds- you will be active and awake while Miri can figure out how to separate herself from you and identity her own presence. She can also talk to you while looking through the body's eyes, even if she isn't focused on anything outside.

 

You may want to start with something like Miri telling you how to load dishes or what homework to work on first for a few minutes. As Miri gets more comfortable, you can do this for longer stretches of time.


I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love Hippos! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.

My other head-mates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogChat | Yay!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We already do that. She usually tells me she wants to eat this thing, watch this movie or go to this place. Sometimes her wanting to do something influences me to actually do that thing without her asking me anything, but it's still clearly me the one doing it. Like full-body proxy. I assume this was supposed to result in Miri in the front, or am I misunderstanding?

 

1 hour ago, Ranger said:

She can also talk to you while looking through the body's eyes, even if she isn't focused on anything outside.

 

That makes me assume you think that Miri is completely silent while I front. Most of the time, unless I'm focusing on something, she's like a very chatty tulpa who's always there. She's very good at taking an active role in the mind and still not steal the front, which is why her telling me to do stuff won't work as a way to make her front, if that's what you meant.

 

2 hours ago, Ranger said:

while Miri can figure out how to separate herself from you and identity her own presence.

 

I'm sure Miri would be able to regain her sense of self if she spent more time fronting, but again, how can I get someone who's terrified of even moving an arm to do so?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Mirichu said:

I'm sure Miri would be able to regain her sense of self if she spent more time fronting, but again, how can I get someone who's terrified of even moving an arm to do so?

Some ideas to think about.

 

1. Little increments. Convince / force Miri to possess small parts of the body (like finger, toes, etc.) and slowly work up from there. I suggest this as it's possible Miri can become more adjusted to the body over time, and given your situation i assume this could take a while, but it might work.

 

2. A little harsh, but don't do anything. What i mean by this is if she wants to do something, anything, don't do it and make her front / possess and do it herself. If this becomes a larger issue (not eating, not working, etc.), then do option 3.

 

3. See a psychologist. Yeah, may be daunting, dependent on your willingness for people to know about i guess 'you' and what you are, but they're professionally trained (not in the work Tulpae, of course.) to Help with psychological issues. I know some can be awful, but Most are good, even great, and i Think it's worth taking a shot, they could probably help with this sort of thing

 

Hope these potential ideas help sonehow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1. We already tried that but it still feels like I'm the one doing it even if it's Miri willing the brain to move a certain part. Therefore she's still behind my 'identity-shelter' and not on her own.

 

2. That sounds like it could be a really good motivator to get her to front, minus the eating/working part, etc... part. Definitely trying this.

 

3. I think seeing a psychologist would do more harm than good in our case.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Mirichu said:

That makes me assume you think that Miri is completely silent while I front. Most of the time, unless I'm focusing on something, she's like a very chatty tulpa who's always there. She's very good at taking an active role in the mind and still not steal the front, which is why her telling me to do stuff won't work as a way to make her front, if that's what you meant.

 

I suggested it because I wondered if re-learning possession would help and that's how I learned how to possess.

 

I like iwishtogameend's idea too, I'm curious to hear how it goes.


I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love Hippos! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.

My other head-mates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogChat | Yay!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.