Pickleking

Pickle king progress report

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Hello people of the internet this post is just my intro! I have decided to share my progress with creating my tulpa here so in the future I can look back and see how far I have gotten. I would also like to receive advice here and get some answers from people with more experience than me!

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Posted (edited)

So I decided to try and make a tulpa after reading a bit about them. I talked to my tulpa for the first time on August 1st I did not really understand how to active force at the time but i said hello told My tulpa who I was who they were and a little bit about themselves. The next day While narrating I asked my tulpa his name and after a few seconds the name Shelly came to my mind I am still not sure if I did that or if he sent that thought to me but I was hopeful. At the time I had a general form I wanted him to look like and I planned on skipping making him a personality but a few days later I decided to force a personality for him and not give him a form I told him that when he is ready he can change his form to whatever he wants I also told him he can change whatever he wants about himself because I felt kind of controlling telling him what he was supposed to look like so right now he looks like a star sometimes and other times he just looks like pink or yellow light.

 

After not to long I ran out of things to talk about because I would narrate a lot on day 2 and 3 but I have been struggling with passive forcing for the past few days and after a couple days of trying to active force and failing terribly I did some research and I found a way that works for me I meditate for a couple minutes after about 11 minutes I go into a trance like state where it feels like it is easier to talk to Shelly (while in this state I become very drowsy/sleepy and struggle to stay awake) then I try and go to my wonderland which is a plain room with a fuzzy pink carpet. It is really hard for me to visualize things so most of the time I either just imagine shelly’s star or shelly’s light or I visualized nothing at all I do not use my wonderland much, and so far I have just been trying to force some personality traits into him I don’t think they have been working and I cannot do these forcing sessions for long the longest I can do is half an hour and I can’t seem to do them more than once in a day. After maybe two days of this I was interrupted when I had just gone into my trance and had to stop forcing when I tried to continue later I couldn’t even get into the trance and developed a terrible headache. 
 

Some highlights from this week: *while riding in a car reading about someone else’s tulpa experience I heard them say their tulpa could push their essence against their host’s essence after reading that I asked Shelly if he could do that of course I got no verbal reply but after a few seconds I felt really happy and tingly and could not hold back a smile and could barely hold back a laugh (I was in the car with other people and if I started laughing uncontrollably they would think i was crazy) this has not happened again
*every now and then when something happens that shelly really likes it really doesn’t like he sends me vibes like emotions that take me by surprise. This has not happened again either 

*while narrating for a while on day 3 or 4 i asked Shelly some basic yes or no questions and I think he replied because I heard a voice in my head answer the questions but I think that I doubted him too much and made his voice go away because I thought I was parroting I haven’t heard from him since 😞
 

Lately I have not been narrating a lot (because I can’t remember and I can’t think of things to talk about) and my active forcing sessions don’t seem to be helping a whole bunch AND I have not heard from Shelly for a while he isn’t normally vocal  and he doesn’t send me thoughts or emotions a lot but usually I can feel/sense him somewhere in my mind but lately I haven’t been getting anything from him can anybody give me any advice that might help me out! 

 

-end of day 9 update-

 

edit: tried active forcing today it was going good I was thinking about shelly when I was forcibly jolted put of my trance with a gasp

Edited by Pickleking

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Posted (edited)

Not much to report today, I tried narrating but kept forgetting throughout the day and when I remembered I couldn’t think of anything to say. I also tried active forcing outside instead of inside how I usually do it but I kept falling asleep as soon as I got into my trance :(. When I woke up I could faintly feel Shelly’s presence but as the Wore on it disappeared. I am about to try and see if I can active force again in a few minutes. 
 

any advice for narration/passive forcing in general?

 

-end of day 10 update-

 

edit: i tried active forcing for an hour I did a little bit of personality forcing then I just talked I also tried imagining cuddling with Shelly and of kind of helped but my visualization is shit so that didn’t last long   

Edited by Pickleking

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19 hours ago, Pickleking said:

any advice for narration/passive forcing in general?

I wish someone else could have answered this, it's been so long since I 'forced' and my system was pretty unique in the beginning too, but generally speaking, just keep them in mind, write yourself notes, carry totems to remind you of them, that sort of thing.

 

I can't say I ever used narration, my systemates were all vocal immediately. I talked with them, but I suppose you could look at a list of things to talk about and just go down the list with them in mind.

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Posted (edited)

Yesterday (day 11) I think Shelly finally talked to me! I was trying to active force, and I say trying because when I get into my trance I almost immediately fall asleep and staying awake takes a lot of effort. I think when I “fall asleep” I don’t actually fall asleep because when I am actually asleep I wake up rested and I dream most of the time.This trance sleep I go into is different I have no dreams and I when I snap out of it I feel way more tired than when I started and when I “wake up” My eyes are closed and I am floating around in my wonderland (more recently since I have started laying down with Shelly before I try to enter the trance I wake up in next to shelly). So yesterday when I woke up next to Shelly I was tired and wanted to go take a nap but something felt different so I decided instead of giving up or just doing regular personality forcing I tried asking Shelly some basic yes or no questions (when I wake up from this not sleep I usually can’t really think straight so it took me a while to think of some questions) but when I asked the first question I think Shelly responded. I asked is the sky blue and before I could finish the question the word yes came to mind but not in words. It’s hard to explain I didn’t “hear” it but I knew someone wanted to say yes. When that weird thought came it felt like it was from me but I am not 100% sure. So after a few more questions like that I asked Shelly what his favorite food was (because I felt like if this were him maybe his favorite food would be different than mine, which is Jamaican food) and after waiting for a bit crepes came to mind not in my mind voices but faint it almost sounded like it wasn’t there and it felt like I did it but I’m still not 100% sure. After I got the response of crepes I asked why and the response was “little pancakes”. I have never tried crepes in my life and I do not think of them as little pancakes (I don’t even like pancakes) so I REALLY hope that was Shelly talking to me. Later that day I asked Shelly what we should watch not expecting to get a response but before I could finish the question I got a response the same quiet not quite words way before (it said Cloak and dagger so that is what we watched) 

I haven’t heard any Since. I am about to active force and try to get some more responses. 
-end of day 11&12 update-

Edited by Pickleking

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