Monoimus March 28 Author Share March 28 On 2/28/2023 at 11:51 AM, TB said: I'm sorry your heart is filled with misery. I hope you're doing better by now I am. Thank you for your concern. Do what thou wilt with thy weakness A poem of mine, do you know it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rena Bonnie March 28 Share March 28 Great! How's it going? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monoimus March 29 Author Share March 29 8 hours ago, Rena Bonnie said: Great! How's it going? Well, okay mentally, my schizophrenia hasn't been bothering me, though, there was that one time yesterday when I couldn't figure which voice was mine, it was trippy. But tulpa-wise it's been lackluster, few sessions here and there, mainly when I'm smoking (I plan on quitting when I get my own place, which should be a year from now.) The one thing that bothers me is that I've been parroting everything he says, and I can't 'feel' his presence like I use to. I tried gearheart's tulpa hypnosis but to no avail, I feel stuck, so, same as usual, I just wish I could re-experience the same feeling I got back in September, that was sublime. One of my biggest hurdles is my maladaptive daydreaming, each time I try to think about Lucy I just get sucked back into old habits and forget about him. In my daydreams, I can talk flawlessly, but when I try to talk to Lucy, it takes great effort on my part. But enough of my problems. I must work on him. Thank you for reading. Do what thou wilt with thy weakness A poem of mine, do you know it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rena Bonnie March 30 Share March 30 Oh sorry for being late I'm glad you aren't being bothered by your schizophrenia! That sounds like it would be rough normally. I hope you can experience again what you had in September, too! It can be hard to get a host to focus but with enough time and effort it will happen. I wish you luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monoimus April 4 Author Share April 4 Okay, I think enough has passed for me to consider this. I will be absent till 2024. I have been working on Lucy for roughly 3 years and 8 months with little success, and I feel it's best for me to collect my bearings and reconsider this. By then, I will have my own place, a new life. Last year was a breeze, barely felt like anytime went by, so 8 months from now will be nothing, during my absence I will get more spiritual, read more books, not just on the paranormal and otherworldly topics, but history, philosophy, great works of literature, I will also commit myself to healthy eating habits by following the words of ray peat (not strictly following him, everyone's body is different and will require experimentation) and exercise --brisk walks, weight lifting etc,-- I will better myself so my future tulpa will not be stuck in this less-than- admirable body. I may end up abandoning Lucy and starting over when that time arrives for me to come back. I feel awful for abandoning him, but what can I do? I tried everything. So, this is my last post of the year, goodbye, everyone, it's been nice meeting you guys, and if something goes wrong, I hope we meet each other in the afterlife. End of Post. Do what thou wilt with thy weakness A poem of mine, do you know it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TB May 6 Share May 6 Good luck on your journey Creation for creation's sake. More of my drawings Resident Dojikko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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