Tief's tulpa

[SebastianSimp]

Hi, I'm Tief. I've decided to try and create a tulpa today. It's already night for me, but I decided to do a progress report for the.. First day? Third, if you count the two days of me blindly trying to get any results when I was 13 years old. 

 

21.09.2021

 

I've been thinking about my tulpa bit by bit today. What it would look like, what name should it have, what characteristics I'd want from it. I've decided on creating my tulpa with Sebastian's likeness (yes, the demon butler). Now, I've been reading up all day about tulpas, and I'm pretty sure you're supposed to let their character develop naturally, so instead of fully copying Sebastian, I've decided that this name will be a placeholder name. If he likes it - great. Instead of giving him full personality, I would want him to be confident and... maybe playful? For the form, I'd say Sebastian's design is pretty basic. The Vibe is the most important thing here. 

 

I had more time on my hands once I got home. Still, I haven't got time for active forcing, but even then... Something interesting happened already?? 

 

I was showering, and I was thinking about Sebastian and our future headspace more clearly. The atmosphere was kinda perfect for something akin to meditation. But then I felt like my thoughts were being pushed out, and I immediately imagined Sebastian pushing them away like a couple of light boxes. I always have a hard time not thinking, and this might be the first time in weeks when I was not thinking, and was aware of it? It felt good. Although soon enough it happened again, and I said "stop it" in my mind. Nothing really came after that.

 

If I'm able, I'll think about Sebastian some more before I go to sleep. Today was interesting! Thank you, Sebastian. And thank you, reader. Good luck in your jorney!

 

P.S. OMG i accidentally backed out of this page, thank developers it saves all the text!! 

Edited September 16, 2022 by SebastianSimp
minor adjustments

[TurboSimmie]

Welcome, and good luck! 😁

[chesnaut]

*journey. also wlecome, and i look ofrward to meeting your tulpa!  -lumity,the bayfox tulpa

[SebastianSimp]

51 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

Welcome, and good luck! 😁

Ahhh thank you!! :)

 

41 minutes ago, Forgotpassword said:

*journey. also wlecome, and i look ofrward to meeting your tulpa!  -lumity,the bayfox tulpa

Whoops- I'm Russian so help is appreciated, hehe. And I'm hoping Sebastian will be here soon! Thank you.

[SebastianSimp]

22.09.2021

 

Morning update, maybe the only one for today. First thing I did once I woke up was saying good morning to Sebastian. Pretty proud of it myself, but I don't think I got any sort of response. 

 

If anything, visualizing is harder today than it was yesterday. I was trying to passively bring Sebastian along for my morning routine journey, but the right side of my head was throbbing. I don't know if it's a good sign, or my morning grogginess (or my weak brain power... :D ).

 

Been 2 hours since I woke up, and I'm slowly getting into the habit of talking to Sebastian mindlessly. I asked him, "if you plan on typing anything in the forums, what color would you prefer?", and I didn't hear an answer, but I did feel like uhh, a little part in my brain activated for a while, and I could pinpoint where it is and what size it has.

 

All in all, right now it feels like I'm freeing and prepping up space for a tulpa and getting ready for one mentally, not necessarily creating Sebastian himself. Interesting! My memory works somewhat the same, it's clogged with everything I find useful, and I always have to free up some slots to fit new memories in. 

[SebastianSimp]

23.09.2021

 

There's been little development after yesterday's morning report, but work week is slowly coming to an end, and I'm hoping I'll finally have time for an active forcing session soon. 

 

About the part in my brain that I could feel: I'm now using this when I want to direct my thoughts to Sebastian. I concentrate on him (at first I had to say his name a couple of times, but I don't need it now), feel that place in my head, and then I talk to him. It makes me feel like he certainly hears me. 

 

There's been no answers from him for now, except for two things:

 

- I don't remember what I asked, but the answer came immediately, "Yes, my lord". It wasn't me parroting, that's for sure, but I also doubt that it was him. It's just a phrase Sebastian as a character says to his lord, maybe my brain decided now is a good time to autofill the response to my question? Not sure overall. Also, if he's gonna be answering me in English when I speak to him in Russian, my brain's gonna fry.

 

- I asked him "what's your favorite color?" again. I feel like I saw a picture of blue? As far as I understand it, it could've been Tulpish, right? I'll try again later, see if he changes his mind.

 

There have also been times when I was addressing him as "Vincent" on accident. Oops. It's my favorite name, and it's been mentioned in my gf's and my convos lately, so I can understand the confusion on my part, but it's still a bit awkward.

 

Regarding Wonderland: I was trying to make a simple room, and I succeeded, but I can't focus on it. Why? Because I read something about a couch, and my brain was like "wouldn't it be funny for your Wonderland to be just a single couch?". It IS funny, but now I'm stuck with a sofa I can't even perceive the color of.

[OrdoVsInfo]

that's amazing progress! it sounds like sebastian will be talking in no time!

[SebastianSimp]

24.09.2021

 

If there's ever a lesson to learn from my experience, it's that you should talk to your irl partner, if you have one, about tulpas before proceeding to make one.

 

We've had an argument (still are in it kinda) and I couldn't bring myself to work on Sebastian yesterday. I'm still trying to passively force when I can, but it's hard because I'm upset and nervous. No developments.

[Glaurung26]

☹️ Sorry. I hope they understand and calm down.

[SebastianSimp]

3 hours ago, Glaurung26 said:

☹️ Sorry. I hope they understand and calm down.

Thank you for your support, seriously. We had a talk this morning, and they seem to have calmed down after reading a couple of articles.