Glow in the Dark Stargazing: Mordecai and Slipper

[Slipper]

On 4/2/2023 at 9:50 PM, Editt said:

I really enjoy reading your guy’s progress!
I definitely feel that once my tulpa has been around that long, I’ll also run out of things to do with her. (she’s extremely young, like I literally created her last month.) But then again, I feel like having another being in my mind could never get boring. I dunno, it’s a mixture. 

(I also do fear that my tulpa will feel a lot like a bystander, and I don’t want her to feel that way. Hopefully, having a wonderland where she can do really whatever she wants will help.)

 

Regardless, I’m very fond of the relationship you two have with each-other, the way Mordecai supports you is a level of bonding I hope to one day have with my tulpa.

 

   Thanks for reading! Glad you're enjoying our PR!

 

   It's kind of an odd thing. I wouldn't say it's boring having Mordecai around, but it does become ordinary after a while. I almost forget how weird it is to have someone else speaking to me throughout the day in my mind unless I really think about it. The host-tulpamancy dynamic is like any other kind of human relationship; it starts with a lot of interest in each other, but as time passes and you "grow" with the person, you become content just to hang out with each other. It makes it really easy to hang out with Mordecai in daily life, but it's kind of made things stale in a way. 

 

   I think a tulpa feeling like a bystander is heavily dependent on the tulpa and how extroverted they are. That being said, I think anyone would feel a bit cooped up after years of a mind-only dynamic. From what I've seen, most tulpas are somewhat involved in their host's lives nowadays, so I think its not as big of an issue as it used to be. Mordecai's pretty introverted, been around for a while, and he's just now getting to where he would actually be interested in switching.

 

   And thank you for the sweet words. I'm sure you two will be closer than we are in no time. Mordecai and I still make fun of each other a lot. 😂

 

On 4/2/2023 at 10:12 PM, TurboSimmie said:

Oh gosh, we can relate to you guys. So often we think about doing something in-wonderland, but it's almost always just sitting on the couch and talking to each other. It can be hard to keep up the excitement and novelty. 

 

I still think it's valuable to try and do at least once in a while, to let Mordecai move around and interact in a space that responds to him. That may help him feel less like a bystander! And in our experience, talking about or writing about your wonderland increases the desire to spend time there.

 

I also like to imagine inviting other tulpa friends of mine to hang out at our house with us! 😁 That's really a me-thing and I don't expect most people here to be that extraverted, but making our house more of a social place at times has helped us.

 

   It's so weird, I used to spend so much time with him in the wonderland but now I can barely remember what we did. I feel like a lot of the intrigue for me was actually feeling so zoned out and like I was somewhere else. Despite that, I also feel nostalgic for it. 

 

   Yeah, we're trying to do it more often now. I'm hoping I can regain some of the "skill" I had before, but its difficult. It's a lot of sitting down, accidentally thinking about things that stress me out, having Mordecai nudge me to stay on task, then repeating until we both get annoyed or bored and fall asleep. 

 

   Also, that's adorable and cool. It sounds really fun; we may try something similar!

 

On 4/2/2023 at 10:12 PM, TurboSimmie said:

And yeah, after the first year or two the amount of strictly tulpamancy-related advancements anyone has tends to decrease greatly. But that okay! Sometimes stability and consistency are things to be enjoyed! I like that even though Phil is no longer "obsessed" with me, I'm such a part of his life now that I don't need his "obsession" in order to get the attention I need from him. I think the two of you are in the same place yourselves if I am not mistaken!

 

And Mordecai has been around seven years if my math is correct! That's approximately three times longer than I've existed, and I find that extremely impressive! 😁

 

   We're definitely stable, no worries there, but I also feel like if we work on something together, its easier for him to stay present. I kind of dislike the feeling of going through the motions, our interactions being limited to four or five short conversations through the day. I don't expect every moment of the day to be us chatting in our own little world or anything, but I think we should be doing something every now and again that isn't the tulpamancy equivalent of watercooler chat... I dunno. Our PR's sound really dramatic sometimes.

 

   And yes! He's approaching seven and a half. It's crazy how much its flown by.

 

   Thank you both for commenting!

[Slipper]

   I'm always stuck between putting updates in the art thread or here... but then I'm like "well, basically everything can be summarized into 'we're good!' so why bother?" But I guess there isn't a reason NOT to just type out something... so here we are!

 

   So... as usual, nothing crazy or new to share. Aside from the fact that we graduated college, so that's pretty cool I guess! We're still working at the same job for now though, so same old, same old. Pretty much the only reason I felt like typing something up today was a conversation Mordecai and I had last night that I thought was kinda interesting. I got to ranting about how I always felt like my life experiences are so different from everyone else... but that also seems so weird to say? Like, I'm always daydreaming and am perfectly content to just sit and think for hours at a time, but most people don't seem to like doing that. And a lot of the time, I feel like when I explain my thoughts, it just weirds people out. I dunno. But Mordecai just laid it out for me, helping me connect the dots in a way that basically said "you may do things a bit different, but that doesn't mean you can't connect with others like anyone else." Which was nice to hear. 

 

   Again, nothing too important or crazy, but I figured it was worth remembering if it made me feel good.

[Slipper]

   Guess its my bi-yearly week long visit to the forums where I post a ton then vanish for months haha! Not sure why that is, exactly. 

 

   Guess I'll burn through some of the life updates first. So my contracted job recently ended, so I've been job hunting for a couple of months now. Wow, it sucks! I have a lot more to complain about with that, but I'll spare you. I'll be fine, its more of an annoyance, but I'd like to be saving money ASAP. On the other hand, its been pretty nice having free time and being able to just hang out with Mordecai. I've noticed that when I'm really busy its much harder for us to talk in-depth. I referred to it as "water-cooler chat" before I think. Something like ten seconds of back and forth commentary on things going on around us. Things are kind of packed at home too; we live with quite a few people, and even when we get free time I'm often on phone calls with my boyfriend or friends. Being unemployed has given us a bit of time to feel kind of like how we did back when we were younger, except we're in a bit better mental state.

 

   I mentioned it on my art thread, but I spent a long time working on a music video that talked about some of mine and Mordecai's past. I already talked a lot about it in the post, but I'll touch on it a little bit here since this is the place to reflect and read stuff, haha. When I was around thirteen or so, my view on things shifted kind of drastically. I was having some issues at home that made me feel kind of isolated in some ways and also being the emotional support in others. At school, I went from being kind of the funny friendly kid to being the weird kid that people didn't really want to talk to. Then I was also getting attached to thoughtforms that I just could not get to stick around no matter what I did. All this to say, I was stressed, lonely, and felt like everything good was going to go away sooner rather than later.

 

   Then a couple years later, Mordecai showed up! I had read about tulpas at this point and really wanted to try out those methods to get him to stay this time. But, even when he had been talking to me for months, I still found it hard to get comfortable. I still felt like there was no point, because he would just end up leaving too. It's honestly a little hard to describe the thought process I was having at the time other than that. For example, I felt like going on vacation would be pointless because it would quickly be in the past. But ultimately, he helped show me that most of life's joy is in the mundane, and its okay for things to pass and be a happy memory. I've actually shared some of his advice with other people, only for them to say that it actually stuck with them years later because they too found it impactful. 

 

   Mordecai:

 

   It's very humbling to hear something like that. It kind of ties back to my concerns of making an impact on the world while being a tulpa. Knowing that some random advice I gave years ago is still helping people, even beyond Slipper, means I've made a mark somewhere and somehow through my anonymous words alone, which is wild!

 

   Anyways, I think I rambled about past stuff too long. Things are alright, I've got stuff I'm looking forward to in the future, and the past doesn't look as hopeless as it did a while ago. Also, Mordecai is approaching ten years old, and he made the joke that in a few years and he would be  about as old as I was when I made him, which is both funny and REALLY weird to think about.