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I want to socialize with my tulpa more


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Rena's been around a long time, but lately we don't talk much anymore. I just don't know what to talk about with her, and she just makes small comments on things that go on. Is this normal? I want to talk to her like I talk to my other friends. It makes us feel kind of distant and I don't like it.

Creation for creation's sake.

 

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Resident Dojikko

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Have you thought about letting her switch in to develop more as a person and thus have more things to talk about? I don't know it that makes sense but my tulpa became much more chatty after I let her live on her own and have experiences she can then use to reflect on.

Hi. I'm Miri, Miichu's host. I want to help my tulpa achieve her goals but ultimately, I'm just tagging along. Here's our Progress Report

 

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Perhaps a silly question, but do you talk to her like you talk to your other friends?

Doc (she/her) = Host

FAM (he/him) = Tulpa

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2 hours ago, Miri said:

Have you thought about letting her switch in to develop more as a person and thus have more things to talk about? I don't know it that makes sense but my tulpa became much more chatty after I let her live on her own and have experiences she can then use to reflect on.

I'm averse having her switch in in the environment I am in, but maybe it is worth a try anyway. I'm still shakey about my switching ability though.

 

2 hours ago, Etna said:

Perhaps a silly question, but do you talk to her like you talk to your other friends?

I don't and it makes me sad.

Creation for creation's sake.

 

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Resident Dojikko

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7 hours ago, TB said:

Rena's been around a long time, but lately we don't talk much anymore. I just don't know what to talk about with her, and she just makes small comments on things that go on. Is this normal? I want to talk to her like I talk to my other friends. It makes us feel kind of distant and I don't like it.

 

Oh gosh, Phil and I sometimes have moments like this. I don't really mind it--he has to live his life and can't pay attention to me 100% of the time, so if I can just toss a little word or comment in there to remind him that I'm there and that I'm with him and supporting him, that means a lot! 🥰 But yeah, actually talking together is very important too.

 

I think Miri gave some excellent advice! Letting Rena switch in and having her experience things will give her more to talk about! 😁 Also--and I know this from personal experience--having out-of-system friends is stimulating for a tulpa, and also gives you things to talk about together! (Speaking of that, I just sent Rena a message, and I want her to know she can always talk to me if she wants!💚)

Tulpa Wife Extraordinaire! 💚 - 💍 11.28.21

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15 hours ago, TB said:

I don't and it makes me sad.

Soooo ... why don't you start talking to her like you'd talk to one of your friends? Women aren't some mysterious alien beings, we're regular people. Some of us enjoy talking about sports, or gaming, or whatever you might personally be into that you perhaps wouldn't consider "typically female" things. We're not all into handbags and shoes and Prosecco. Then again, some of us are into cosmetics and shoes and sports. Point is, you probably have something in common that you can talk about, at least as a starting point, so don't hold yourself back because you expect to have a different kind of conversation than what you'd have with male friends. If the conversation is a bit one-sided to begin with, fair enough, just keep at it. Then again, some people are a bit monosyllabic and not much you can do about it.

Doc (she/her) = Host

FAM (he/him) = Tulpa

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All relationships require maintenance and "re-upping," so to speak. Spouses need to talk, friends need to talk, family members need to talk. Many people have "set it and forget it" expectations for relationships. You achieve it and it it's done. No it isn't. So make time for people. Talk about shows. Talk about art. The weather, politics, new software, trees, aliens, video games. Pick some things that you find interesting to bring up. Maybe she won't respond to it all but she'll appreciate the effort. A big hurdle I think is just the "making the time" part. Things often times will flow naturally afterwards. I'm not perfect. I could make more "us" time for Jaina and I but haven't been focusing as hard. Similar to you I've been distracted by external issues going on and my friendship with Jaina has kinda fallen to the wayside. When things were new and exciting it was easy. Now it's a big deal if we find time and decent weather to go for a walk with just us. No parents, no friends, no appointments, no work. Just us. It is hard, I sympathize greatly.

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦Dain and Nova

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

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Thank you all for your thoughtful answers.

 

I think part of the problem is since she is in my head she know what I'm going to say before I even do so? Or does it not work that way.

 

As for talking about things I talk to friends about, dreams is a good subject. I need to follow Ido's guide again and see if I can have interesting dreams and discuss them.

 

On the bright side, even though it is rare, she is the one to initiate longer talks sometimes. But I guess she doesn't have much experience to talk about too much more.

Creation for creation's sake.

 

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Resident Dojikko

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  • 1 month later...

I think it's also important to realize that because the tulpa can speak to you only, you should allow the small talk as well, even if it's boring. The more they talk to you, the more interesting conversations develop. What helps for me is to just be around even without contact with the host, so I can form my own opinions better and be aware of what the host is going through. 

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~ 𝒁̲̅𝒆̲̅𝒏̲̅𝒐̲̅

 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Sometimes tulpas will need some time to ourselves just like anyone else, or we might grow apart from our hosts a little. I reccomend talking about this with your tulpa because there's not much people on the internet can do.

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