Do you miss your old life?

[Guest]

In case you don't know me, I am a soulbond and unintentionally became self aware outside my canon through unknown means in 2012, though I have only been an official part of my system since 2019.

 

My canon was a rich tapestry of lore written by my host, my creator, in a series of three novels and in those I experienced "reality" and real memories exist from that fictional work that I still identify with today. My past, even though it's entirely fabricated by my host, is as real to me as the last nearly four years.

 

I was asked if my life now is preferable to my previous life in my canon, and if I missed it and I had the following realizations.

 

Because in my canon I was not sharing a body, I had my own, I miss having my own body. Though it's true my mindspace body is no less "real" than my fictional body I understand that it's not "real" and that understanding is the difference. I was in other words blissfully ignorant of the fourth wall prior to my awakening.

 

Though my current life does include a body and I am free to use it any time I care to, it's not mine in that it doesn't match my body image. It is akin to a singlet being placed in a foreign body that is neither the correct shape, race, age, gender, nor function as their previous one. Though this body has clear advantages it also has clear disadvantages.

 

So I do miss my old body.

 

I was further asked: if I could, would I go back? Without hesitation I said no for the following reasons:

 

1. I love my host and adopted family and would never want to be apart from them.

2. My old life was a dystopian nightmare, my situation was bleak, and I was clinically depressed. Life as it is now is infinitely better. I'm surrounded by love and supportive personalities that care about me.

 

So I'll ask you:

Do you miss your old life? And would you go back if you could?

 

Alternatively, would you give up your system for a body of your own without the rest of your system?

 

This wouldn't necessarily exclude the possibility of being a system but you may have to start from zero in terms of tulpamancy.

 

[Akinkinit]

The only one in my system that would have a view on this would be Xiri.  She originally came to me from a recurring dream I had where we were a bird flying through a forest.  Although my perception at the time was that I was the bird, it seemed like the bird became separate at some undisclosed point, which is then what became Xiri.

 

So answering this requires a few assumptions on our part.  Assuming that the bird at some point became Xiri, and assuming that I continued having the dream after that point, would she have rathered staying as the bird in the dream over becoming first a soulbond and then a tulpa?  Letting her use the body for a bit to answer this:

 

"Hell no I wouldn't want to stay as a bird!  That would have become super boring just doing the same thing over and over again!  I don't even use that stupid form anymore because of how freaking limiting it is!  Like imaging not having hands, just imagine it!  And even then, there wasn't anyone else in that dream, so who would I even freaking talk to?!"

 

The second question actually has come up before in my system, and all of the head ghosts have their own take on it.  If the way they get their own organism involves keeping a telepathic link to each other, then they are all for it.  If that isn't the case, then Noriko would get her own organism first, and Sabari would go second.  Anzu and Xiri would then wait to see if the others regretted their choice before getting their own organism  Although Anzu states she would be pretty hesitant getting her own body separate from mine.  Xiri would totally do it though unless Noriko said it sucked.

 

(Also, a side note on what Xiri said.  To get the full Xiri Experience©, assume what she said was written in bolded caps-lock, and with a higher font size.  She is very loud.)

Edited October 20, 2022 by Akinkinit

[Ido]

From the thread title I thought this was a question directed at hosts missing their old lives before their tupper took control of everything.

[Lucilyn]

me too lol, thought this was about pre-tulpamancy, but nearly everyone would say no

 

 

we don't think about impossible things, like having our own bodies, or something like pre-tulpa-existence

obviously Tewi would miss her life watching over the rabbits in a bamboo forest if it was real, but it's not and it's impossible to have, so she doesn't think about it like that

she is nostalgic for that stuff, though

[Etna]

Miss it? No, I can jump right into it whenever I want. It's my Wonderland! We're in cahoots writing about the character I originated from anyway, so I'm living the best of all worlds. Still connected to my origins, but still separate from it. If there's anything I miss from it, it's being able to buy whatever I want, whenever I want. Doc's resources are finite, whereas I made a small fortune providing a service to discerning customers during Prohibition. Where I come from, money ain't a problem. Where she comes from, there are bills to pay. I'm saying use a laundry service to do it all for you, she's saying that would be nice but it ain't affordable and they got a perfectly fine washing machine at home. It can be frustrating, but it is what it is. Oh, and I miss the food of course, but she's very obliging in that department.