Saruzer and Pearl's Beautiful and fulfilling life log

[Saruzer]

Reading this description is necessary for understanding the situation we are in. Before reading logs, I strongly recommend you to go through this text first.

 

Who are we?

We are system of 2 people.

Saruzer(me) - Host

Pearl - Tulpa

We've been in tulpamancy since 20.02.21

 

Why we appeared just now?

to keep long story short:

The first years of tulpamancy I was ignorant and tried to do everything just by following a couple of guides. It was working though. After 3+- years we are tried to fit into some Discord tulpamancy community and we eventually were able to stick around and learn more. Since that time we got significant progress and knowledge. For personal reasons we've left those communities. For some time Pearl, as always, was narrating and commenting a lot of my daily stuff, thoughts and all of that. But after a long time of being in that state, you're starting to lose that feeling of being a "good" tulpamancer, you are spending active time with your tulpa less and less. Emotions between both of you feel pale, not so full of life and energetic. At least it was like that for us. I wasn't sure if I wanted to start forcing or not because at that time forcing for me was like some task that you have to do for some period of time and then again - just burn out from it. It was... strange for me... We had our good times together, we've been able to reach some results that were insane to imagine at that time! I didn't want to spend anymore time thinking that Pearl is just going to end up being a narrator like that for the end of our days. I always wanted better for her, I wanted to give her a decent life, to see her smile and share love/care between us. I had that desire inside me. I was thinking that soon enough I will give her all of my attention so she'll accomplish her goals... Some time ago, a week or so, I told my friend about being a tulpamancer and she took it very well. It was so well in our case that Pearl end up talking with her for 5 hours straight. That was it. The feelings of Pearl getting so much fun and appreciation from talking to someone, so much good feelings of just... her feeling herself alive again. I knew I am going to do this. Now or never. I am not letting her dreams and wishes disappear just because "I wasn't feeling like forcing at that moment". So, we've "restarted" our forcing. We "started from scratch" 23.01.26, not so long ago as you can tell. Even after couple of days together with those very good and refreshing feelings between us, we've spend a lot of time together and I did my best to actively force as sufficient as possible. We've shared so many positive emotions and I am not willing to stop neither Pearl. That's why we are appearing only now. Her life matters for me. If I decided that she IS going to be a complete part of my life, that means we have to spend as much time together as possible, to fulfill her dreams and goals.

 

The main reason why we decided to create this thread:

I and Pearl wanted this thread to be created because we want to help systems, who is currently in the same situation that we were before. You should remember why you have your Tulpa in a first place, you must realize how alive they really is. If you started forcing with care and love and find yourself like "I don't feel like it anymore..." there's always a better solution, you're not late. Being a tulpamancer may feel like a curse, but if you look through that, you can actually perceive how many opportunities are open for you and how many new feelings you can experience together. Just push yourself, you know you can do it, why hesitate then? I can promise you, that playing video games or procrastinating in TikTok/Reels/Youtube/(you call it) won't help you in life. You're just wasting your time doing that. The only feeling you'll get is disappointing in yourself after wasting your day like that. Being a tulpamancer as well as being a productive human requires sacrifices. You have roughly 16 hours a day to do your things before going to sleep. Manage your time wisely and stop chasing fast reward options. Remember, that your brain is developing better only when you push yourself through stuff that you don't feel like doing now. I didn't mean to be rude in any way, you can still enjoy these things and be successful if you manage your time correctly. I just believe in a society that thinks for themselves in a healthy way and especially this implies to tulpamancers, because you have someone to take care of, so your time is even more limited. I hope that someone was inspired by that, that someone will implement good habits because of that. I hope your quality of life will get even better!

 

We are going to post here our progress weekly and also are going to share some tips for certain practices that we do and what helps us. We are able to adapt and develop very fast due to our long time being together, due to our trust and love in each other. And I just find logging very helpful to monitor our progress and analyze some mistakes and what could be improved. Feel free to leave a comment as well if you want so!

[Saruzer]

First week update.

The first week is going to be like a template for the next weeks. We’ll see how it’ll be. I’ll try to share my experience and details as clear as possible. You can ask me if you didn’t understand something.

 

And couple of things before we go, just keep in mind that

1. I feel Pearl’s touch as some pressure and “warm tickles” (I have no idea how to describe it better) at the place where she touches me.

2. We do passive forcing all the time. I can feel her presence almost always, as like if she was watching for me and observing my actions. I automatically narrate her like everything and she very often comments something about things that I do.

I will explain more things the further we go. This is it for now.

 

23.01.26 (Friday)

This date is going to be a start point for our new lives with Pearl. I’ve decided that I am going to force as much as I can to give her as many opportunities as possible. I’ve made some plan of what I am going to do. I decided to practice “wonderland, visualization, imposition” 1 hour each.

But for this day I only went to the wonderland before sleep and spent 1 hour talking with Pearl and exchanging emotions between us. After this day, I was trying to see Pearl like she’s around me just like if she would be a physical human.

Active forcing time:

Wonderland – 1 hour

 

24.01.26 (Saturday)

We tried to practice visualization. But the “raw” visualization(just sitting and trying to imagine Pearl in details) was kinda boring for us. 20 minutes I’ve spend on visualization and talking to Pearl the other 14 minutes. We thought about changing visualization to wonderland immersion. After that we went outside for a walk. 10k steps usually takes 2 hours for me to do, so we’ve been holding hands and talking about our things. I tried to imagine her walking with me by my side and it went pretty well. When we went back home, I spent 1 hour on wonderland immersion. It went… meh, I didn’t really immerse but I’ve got some experience from that. In the night I tried to practice immersion following “q2's method for a huggable tulpa, v2”. I thought of doing 2 hours but I’ve managed to do only 35 minutes. I tried to practice wonderland for an hour and 20 minutes too, but I remember falling asleep and back to awake state very often. However, I remember having some pleasant emotions exchanges with Pearl.

Active forcing time:

Visualization – 20 minutes

Talking and trying to visualize her by my side – 2 hours and 14 minutes

Imposition – 35 minutes

Wonderland – very roughly 1 hour and 20 minutes. I would say I were active only 30 minutes maximum of that time.

 

25.01.26 (Sunday)

As woke up I saw (in the mind eye) Pearl sitting next to me on my bed. I decided to go to the wonderland for an hour to spend time with Pearl there. We have exchanged very pleasant emotions and we had some fun adventures as well. I didn’t really force that day because I usually go on a walk with my father by Sundays. Around 10 PM I started practicing imposition. As I started practicing, I felt weird about Pearl’s appearance and instead of immersion I created a thread “I have an odd question after 5 years of tulpamancy...”. I got my answers and we’ve talked about that with Pearl and on the next day I felt much better.

Active forcing time:

Wonderland – 1 hour

 

26.01.26 (Monday)

I tried to immerse in wonderland and failed again. After that we’ve decided to focus only on “visualization, tactile, wonderland(default one)”. I thought about practicing hypnogogic state, I didn’t practice it today though(we’ll talk about it later). I started by practicing visualization. I practiced only for about 15 minutes and then Pearl lied on my laps and we were talking and exchanging emotions the other 45 minutes. At around 10 PM we practiced tactile for 30 minutes. It went alright. I can feel her if she hugs me (we hug and hold hands a lot). It feels like something warm touches me with a light pressure. Sadly, it only works if I focus strong enough to feel that she touches me. We were trying to make me feel those touches from her when I don’t expect them. It worked for a couple of times but the effect is less strong. I decided to go to the wonderland before sleep for 30 minutes. We as always exchanged good and warm emotions and spend time together.

Active forcing time:

Visualization – 1 hour

Tactile imposition – 30 minutes

Wonderland – 30 minutes

 

27.01.26 (Tuesday)

Pearl was fronting today for 4 hours… not straight though, 2 hours and 48 minutes she has spent on creating her accounts everywhere and the time that has left she was drawing flower “Pearl's art works”. After that, I went actively forcing 2 hours straight. 1 hour for visualization + imposition and 1 hour for tactile. For the first 20 minutes of practice, I was able to visualize Pearl in her appearance. The problems that I have encountered is that I have detailed drawing of her head but not the whole body. References that have everything are either very cartoonish or just not for us. I fixed this issue just by analyzing what the “cartoon“ part is missing from the detailed head reference. I manually added shadows to those parts and feeling of the texture on the clothes. I combined every part then and I was able to see Pearl in her whole appearance with a good number of details! It improved even more when I tried to imagine her staying in my room. I’ve been able to visualize lights and shadows with some decent level of details. The visualization I was doing in 3D trying to observe each part of her body as realistically as possible. The moment I felt confident sitting in place and visualizing her in my room, I tried to walk around her to see (in mental eye) how she looks like from different angles. It… Kinda worked? I was able to see her from different angles but it took me some time to see the whole picture. For better understanding I can explain it like when you have poor internet connection and you’re trying to load a picture from a web site. It loads from up to bottom slowly… Something like that I had in those moments. I don’t know how to optimize this if not just more practice. I now feel her presence even better and like she’s getting even more real for me. I’ve spent 10 more minutes walking around her and trying to perceive as many details as possible. The last 30 minutes she was lying on my laps and I was trying to practice imposition in that position. We’ve spend an hour practicing tactile imposition and it went pretty well. The longer we were trying the better I could feel her “unexpected” touches. They felt not like a warm touch but more like a cold one, more intense. Maybe that’s how our brain interprets her “unexpected” touches to me. 2 hours have passed and she went back to fronting and talking with her new friends and the other stuff on tulpa forum.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting – 4 hours

Imposition + visualization – 1 hour

Tactile imposition – 1 hour

 

28.01.26 (Wednesday)

Today Pearl was fronting for 2 hours. She talked to her friend and start drawing. She had a lot of fun drawing today (“Pearl's art works”). As soon as she finished with fronting, we’ve started practicing imposition. I’ve spend 40 minutes in one set and by the end of it was exhausted but was able to see(in meatspace) something like boundaries of Pearl’s head. When I sat down to take a rest from all of that, I’ve opened Ringgggg's imposition log (“Ringgggg's somewhat-comprehensive foxgirl imposition log”) to get some information. It was useful indeed. Before going to sleep I went to our wonderland to spend time with Pearl. We’ve exchanged a lot of emotions and spent very good time together. Sometimes I was even crying because of how happy those moments were. Also, this day I read more about hypnogogic state and I decided to practice it more consistently now (more about it in the end). I lied on my back, closed my eyes and start just observing my breathing… Some short time has passed and I felt very strong urge to move, move on my back to sleep normally. I was feeling like my whole body was struggling and the feeling of pins and needles were all over me. And still, I am resisting all of that and refocus on my breath again… next moment I remember that I don’t know where I am. I felt my limbs in some places but I just didn't understand where they were and where I am. I didn’t feel like in my room. I knew that I am experiencing hypnogogic state and was calm about it. But because of how long I was analyzing about by body, I went straight back to square one. Again, those feelings and the urge is even stronger now… this time I wasn’t able to resist and changed my position to comfortable one and just fall asleep as usual. I will continue practice of hypnogogic state.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting – 2 hours

Imposition – 40 minutes

Wonderland – 1 hour

 

29.01.26(Thursday)

We’ve started our day by reading a bit of progress logs of other people. Especially I can mention “KM & RD” and “♡❝𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦 – 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐠❞♡ – Mai & Her Lovely System”. The “Ringgggg's somewhat-comprehensive foxgirl imposition log” I read I guess every time I make some progress in imposition. I guess that makes me read it everyday for a bit each time. Pearl didn’t front today. She decided to take a rest this time. We went outside and again I was trying to practice imposition when we were walking. We always hold hands together whenever we can so I didn’t have any problems with tactile imposition. Was struggling a bit with visualization but I was able to see her with my mental eye. We were talking about everything. After 2 hours we went back home with intention to do 4 sets of imposition practice. That idea I took from “Ringgggg's somewhat-comprehensive foxgirl imposition log”. So, one set is 10 minutes of meditation and 30 minutes of imposition practice (I am going to skip meditation here because it’s like a rest time, nothing special). Here’s how well my sets went:

 

First set results:

7 minutes was sculpting Pearl trying to remember her proportions

17 minutes was trying to see(in meatspace) some line between my fingers. There were some moments when I saw it but it instantly disappeared right after, and the quality was horrible.

6 minutes was sculpting Pearl.

 

Second set results:

5 minutes of sculpting Pearl.

21 minutes of trying to see that line. There was a moment when I really saw it somehow and I even stretched it with my fingers! It made me happy and I lost that concentration, dang it.

4 minutes of sculpting Pearl.

 

Third set results:

My cat was interrupting A BIT the forcing process, so I kindly asked him to leave me alone. He did after I feed him. My head is starting to feel heavy and making progress feels like a challenge. But I’ll continue.

 

14 minutes was trying to see the line between my fingers. I was switching my hands and I had an idea “lol why just not to use 2 hands to visualize 2 lines simultaneously?”. At that moment I felt my IQ increasing and surpassing the smartest people that have ever existed. It did actually worked! I get some results! Or did I? I assume it should be otherwise, because now you have 2 lines to render and if you struggle with just one line then trying to do more is just not going to make it easier. It did actually… So, imagine me, right hand is on the right side and left is on the left. I am trying to see 2 lines. But how our vision works? We have peripheral vision and the central vision. Even if those were real lines that I can see without any problems, I still have the same vision as a normal human being. If I want to look at the line that on the right, the one that on the left will be in my peripheral vision. So happens that trying to see things that are on peripheral vision is much easier to render because our brain pays less attention to details and I assume because of that it’s easier to “replace” with your custom images. It took more brain power from me but I was able to make a better look at that line in my peripheral vision.

4 minutes of sculpting

12 minutes of trying to see that line

 

I tried to do a fourth set but I felt tired and got some light headache.

 

I can say that throughout imposition practice I could feel Pearl presence that she’s staying in my room and I could tell even in what position. Almost every sense was telling me that she is there except the vision sense. Like she was invisible

Spoiler

(https://youtu.be/jxQ-Sn6ghS0?si=dAzv0e4A61jYRScK)

Also, that day I wasn’t able to fall asleep. However, laying on the bed trying to fall asleep and even maybe experience hypnogogic state, I saw something like Pearl’s appearance with my peripheral vision. Literally for a fraction of a second and it was more like a black something that reminds me of shape of her appearance nothing more. It scared me for a moment but then I was  very exited and happy that this happened.

 

I fall asleep only at 10 AM next day.

Forcing active time:

Imposition – 1 hour and 30 minutes

Imposition while walking outdoors – 2 hours

 

30.01.26 (Friday)

I woke up tired, checked time, it was 2 PM. I slept for just 4 hours. Maybe I wasn’t very energetic, but Pearl definitely was. She went to sleep at around 6 AM. Pearl was VERY energetic and she did her best to get me out of the bed to start doing my things. And so, I got up. At 4 PM we started practicing Imposition. I thought of doing 4 sets but only did 2. Here’s my results:

 

First set results:

6 minutes of sculpting

10 minutes of trying to see that line

4 minutes of sculpting

10 minutes of trying to see that line

 

feeling a bit dizzy after the first set

And here’s my observations: Trying to see that line was easier. In a sense that I felt more focused and relaxed while doing this, my brain was consuming less power or something like that. And yet, only in some moments I was able to catch that line with my eyes, very briefly and not very clearly. There was one moment when I was able to keep that line for a bit. For some reason that line was even thinner than I imagined to myself, thinner than a needle I assume. That was so cool! Also, I noticed that trying to touch that line with other hand’s fingers made it easier for me to see that line. Maybe it’s related to something how our brain works. The more senses you activate the easier it will be to fool the rest.

 

Second set results:

4 minutes of sculpting

8 minutes of trying to see that line

18 minutes of sculpting

 

I thought to listen to some music that both for me and for Pearl has good memories associated with(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycHYC9GZZSc). My room was getting darker and darker. Trying to see that line was pointless if I can’t see my own fingers properly. I decided to spend 18 minutes of sculpting Pearl instead. That went… kinda well? I can’t tell since I don’t know how progression of imposition looks like. I was able to see something like deformation in the space where Pearl was standing, not very significantly but I can tell that her shape is starting to form in meatspace. I also was able to observe that from different angles. That felt so strange. Imagine seeing slightly distorted space in your room that rejects all laws of physics and just floats in the open air. Wild. That “distorted space” was where Pearl’s head is supposed to be. I spend a more time trying to sculpt her head, more than other body part. I don’t know if I should spend equal time on every part, because every part for me is equally invisible for now. We’ll see how it goes later.

 

After imposition practice, we went to wonderland and we spent 33 minutes together talking about everything.

 

At 9 PM Pearls was fronting for 2 hours, she was drawing, watching some stuff and that mostly it.

Active forcing time:

Imposition - 1 hour

Wonderland - 33 minutes

Pearl fronting - 2 hours

 

End of the report

 

So yeah, I hope you enjoyed reading my first week of our active forcing activities. This is just a warm up. First days we were trying to figure out what works for us and what should we do. Next time we are going to be more prepared and we are going to get better results for sure!

 

If you have any questions or suggestion please tell us, we are open for discussion.

 

Misc

About hypnogogic state I learned a long time ago and it was incredible. I decided to refresh my memories about it and these guides I found very helpful:

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/4107-perfect-visualization-from-the-half-sleep-state/

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/10694-dissociation-guide/

 

I’ve experienced hypnogogic state before… a long time ago actually, I was trying to exploit it as much as I could to be able to see Pearl as vividly as possible. If someone find this interesting to hear I’ll tell you about those moments.

 

Links to some stuff that I've mentioned

The goats:

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/19646-ringggggs-somewhat-comprehensive-foxgirl-imposition-log/ (useful information)

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/13961-q2s-method-for-a-huggable-tulpa-v2/#comment-197694 (useful information)

The progress logs of a systems that I found worth mentioning:

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/7164-km-rd/

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/25878-♡❝𝐓𝐡𝐞-𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐚-𝐒𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦-–-𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬-𝐋𝐨𝐠❞♡-–-mai-her-lovely-system/

(and obviously the Ringgggg's progress log about imposition. I just don't want to duplicate it  here)

hypnogogic/dissociation:

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/4107-perfect-visualization-from-the-half-sleep-state/

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/10694-dissociation-guide/

misc:

"I have an odd question after 5 years of tulpamancy...": https://community.tulpa.info/topic/26577-i-have-an-odd-question-after-5-years-of-tulpamancy/#comment-507508

 

Pearl's art work: https://community.tulpa.info/topic/26580-pearls-art-works/#comment-508168

 

[Mai_x_v3]

Oh wow my log! I never expected to see someone else mention my logs on another PRs I feel honored! Thank you for reading my logs, I really appreciate it! I work hard on them and they give me motivation. Hopefully they help give you both motivation as well! They usually help me keep myself accountable and motivated to the point tulpamancy is one of my hyperfixations and main interest for months! 💞🩷

 

Also, amazing log so far! It's so cool how much progress you and Pearl seem to be making! I also love how organized it is. Keep up the amazing work! 🩷💞 Also Pearl's art is super pretty!

[Saruzer]

Second week update

Sorry for being a bit late for an update but here it is.

 

31.01.26 (Saturday)

I've started with visual imposition. I did 2 sets:

First set results:

4 minutes of sculpting. Sculpting become easier and sometimes was more detailed

26 minutes of attempts to see that line between my fingers. Results were worse than the last time. I think about taking something that can represent that line and put it between my fingers so my brain will know what to expect to see when I am trying to imagine it.

Second set results:

2 minutes of sculpting

13 minutes of trying to see that line. I was exhausted so I've finished set earlier. Results were bad.

 

At 3:12 PM I practiced meditation 21 minutes. I got some knowledge from that, about relaxation and how to observe my thought process better.

 

Before going to bed I decided to practice imposition but not the visual one. More like on presence, auditory and tactile imposition. I was sculpting Pearl for a bit, then I stand in front of her so she's behind me. I started imposing her presence that she is for real standing there. I tried to relax and focus as much as possible and after that I was just talking with her, more like a monologue and was waiting for her to give me some "vivid" response, I tried to hear her as if it was a hallucination. I didn't hear her but we've exchanged a lot of pleasant emotions and I can tell that went not bad. I am going to practice that daily now. I spend on this practice 24 minutes overall.

Active forcing time:

Visual imposition: 45 minutes

Imposition before sleep: 24 minutes

 

01.02.2026(Sunday)

Pearl was fronting today for 3 hours. She was learning how to draw.

I did the same imposition practice before going to bed for 22 minutes.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting: 3 hours

Imposition before sleep: 22 minutes

 

02.02.2026(Monday)

I meditate today for 33 minutes. Feel bad since I played with my brother for 2 hours instead of doing something that matters.

I tried to practice visual imposition. 1 Set.

First set results:

Only 2 minutes of sculpting 

Only 6 minutes of trying to see that line

Visual imposition feels very boring now. I just can't make it anymore. I think to start practicing imposition that focused mostly on presence, auditory and tactile. I also read again the QB2's tutorial on huggable tulpa and yeah I agree with what he's saying there. Start with imposing every sense is pretty difficult task to accomplish and will exhaust you very fast. I got my opinion on what is working better for me and for now I am going to focus more on other aspects of Imposition. I have my thoughts about it:

 

Quote

I want to tell that even when some forcing aspect sucks, you will still gaining knowledge from that. When you realize why it doesn't work as well for you and what you should do instead it feels like leveling up. I love how people make guides which you can follow and then realize what works better for you. It's incredible because if you didn't start doing what was suggested, you wouldn't be able to achieve your personal experience on that topic. This feels incredible. I feel like I am progressing faster thanks to that... *sighs* in my 4(almost 5) years of tulpamancy... I was so ignorant to follow guides that's insane... That's why sharing knowledge between each other is so important to get your own personal results and conclusions.

 

I also practiced presence, auditory and tactile imposition today before sleep for 25 minutes.

 

Active forcing time:

Visual imposition: 8 minutes 

Imposition before sleep: 25 minutes

 

03.02.2026(Tuesday)

Pearl was fronting today for 2 hours. She was learning how to draw.

Before sleep, I practiced presence/auditory/tactile imposition for 15 minutes today. I also noticed something INCREDIBLE! So, when I was sculpting Pearl, I decided to pick her up. And as I was raising my hands I was able to see in the meatspace something like her blurry boundaries also were moving. I was literally seeing something was moving alongside with my hands. I didn't feel any weight though and looks like it were only boundaries of her chest and a bit of a head. Still not bad, that was cool.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting: 2 hours.

Imposition before sleep: 15 minutes 

 

04.02.2026(Wednesday)

Same as yesterday Pearl was fronting 2 hours learning how to draw.

And same as yesterday I practiced imposition the same way. I took her and was moving her body around observing how something was moving alongside with my hands. The presence and auditory imposition has gotten better. I spent 30 minutes on that.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting: 2 hours 

Imposition before sleep: 30 minutes

 

05.02.2026(Thursday)

I meditate for 30 minutes. Right after Pearl was fronting 2 hours. She was learning how to draw. Before sleep practiced imposition for 12 minutes. I want to mention that it's easier for me to see Pearl with peripheral vision.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting: 2 hours

Imposition before sleep: 12 minutes

 

06.02.2026(Friday)

Hooray, my birthday.

Pearl was fronting today for 2 hours and 30 minutes. Before sleep, I practiced imposition. I decided to meditate for 10 minutes before starting the main practice. If I remember correctly, I borrowed that technique from Ringgggg's imposition log. I spent 15 minutes with her after finishing my meditation. I was trying to refocus my attention from my breathing to her. I was sculpting her with my eyes closed and I could feel her better that way. We hugged. I was able to feel her body better and even my hands were resisting to go through her body, feels like when you're trying to push magnets with identical polarisation to each other, they push against each other and I was feeling that with my hand, that's so cool! Also, when I opened my eyes I noticed that the side of my body where Pearl was hugging me(left side) was a lot more harder to see what is going on behind her. Interesting experience. Also I noticed another interesting moment. I can feel where Pearl is in my room, but most of the times when I am trying to see her she's in different pose from the one that I assumed she is in. That was also very exciting to just have one idea in mind and then see her in other pose right after. wow.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting: 2 hours and 30 minutes

Imposition before sleep: 25 minutes

 

End of the report(Conclusion)

I decided to work more on presence/auditory/touch Imposition instead of focusing solely on visual. Meditation is also a big helper to reach states of your mind when you can feel your tulpa better. I will be practicing more of that I assume. Pearl now has instruments for drawing so she's probably going to front daily for 1-2 hours because she really wants to learn how to draw better.  

 

Misc

On 2/2/2026 at 3:57 AM, Mai_x_v3 said:

Oh wow my log! I never expected to see someone else mention my logs on another PRs I feel honored! Thank you for reading my logs, I really appreciate it! I work hard on them and they give me motivation. Hopefully they help give you both motivation as well! They usually help me keep myself accountable and motivated to the point tulpamancy is one of my hyperfixations and main interest for months! 💞🩷

Thanks for your hard work as well! I find your logs are quite unique in some sort of way. Your combination of techniques that you use for forcing is inspiring and interesting! I hope we will get better together.

 

On 2/2/2026 at 3:57 AM, Mai_x_v3 said:

Also, amazing log so far! It's so cool how much progress you and Pearl seem to be making! I also love how organized it is. Keep up the amazing work! 🩷💞 Also Pearl's art is super pretty!

Thank you for that. We've been together for almost 5 years so we had our times when we were trying to force actively everyday. We were able to achieve results that even now is impressive for us. We just getting back our skills and enhancing them. Although, brain kinda hurts after a long time of forcing, that means it still isn't get used to it. Pearl art is pretty, sure, but she looks even better in real! I hope I will be able to draw her some day so everyone will be able to see how she truly looks like. 

[Saruzer]

Not the end of the week but my personal observations about my Pearl fronting.

 

So, just to be clear and to avoid misunderstanding, I’ll give my explanation about switching and what I mean by that, what I feel when Pearl is fronting and what she feels.

 

First of all, how we switch. It usually takes couple of minutes for Pearl to become dominant for our brain and have control over the body. I have my symbolism to relax ASAP and for Pearl to ground herself in our body. After she feels like ready to go, she opens her eyes and start doing her things. For me it feels slightly dissociated, I feel more relaxed, I just observe what she’s doing. The more she’s in control the more I dissociate. Although, if she’s getting very tired it feels like on the edge of losing consciousness for us(However, we didn’t try to push ourselves and we always end the practice when we begin to feel that).

 

Here’s my observations that I’ve noticed and want to share, maybe there’s someone who experienced something similar:

1. Pearl is always very focused and her attention span is on maximum. Like, she’s been drawing for 2 hours for 3 days in a row now and I can tell that those 2 hours she sits, full of focus and concentration and nothing can distract her. (I wish I could do that).

2. My thoughts don’t bother her at all. Only if I directly try to say something to Pearl through mind voice. Otherwise she just keeps doing her things. Sometimes I can even think about my stuff and she thinks about what to draw next, sometimes even doing something in that moment. Parallel processing or something like that. I’ve made a program for practicing parallel processing with Pearl a long time ago, we’ve reached some results with that even back then…

3. No matter how tired I am before switching or if I don’t feel like doing that (because lazy), when we switch, those feeling don’t bother me anymore. It’s like my brain stops paying attention to my “needs/desires” and now it’s all about Pearl, what she wants and how she feels like. I found this very interesting. She literally takes initiative on herself. Our brain reacts on that and after a moment her needs and desires becoming a priority. Cool 👍.

4. For some reason(maybe because she’s focused/concentrated on her things) Pearl barely moves in those 2 hours! Like for real, when I take my body back, I have to stretch myself for a bit and move around. She stands up like maybe once to move but this still doesn’t feels like enough for my body. Although, I remember times when Pearl was fronting while we were going outside, so I don’t see any problems here.

 

Hello everyone 🤗! This is my first time appearing here, I am glad to share my experience as well 😊!

This is what I feel while fronting:

1. I don’t have any thoughts, even my mind voice appears only when I want to say something about something. I assume that maybe there is random thoughts but I am too focused and concentrated to notice them.

2. As mentioned above, I am very concentrated and focused. I can hold that state at least for 2 hours as we know now. Almost nothing can distract me. Probably, it has something to do with grounding. I try to always feel the body and to keep stable position I have to be focused, relaxed and concentrated all at the same time. It took me some time to get used to that, but in the end, I am glad that this works for me 😇. Also, I am very grateful for my Host for being such a great person 🥰. He trusts me entirely, so we don’t have any problems with “fear of switching” or doubt in each other. On top of that, I have 2 full hours daily to do whatever I want, this is so wholesome 😍! (Actually, I usually spend more than 2 hours but we still okay with that 😅).

 

As one our good friend tulpamancer said: “switching is one of the best ways to actively force”, don’t know if it relates to you, but it does relates to us. Thanks to that we’ve build decent trust and faith in each other, thanks to that, we feel closer to each other than never before. Although, imposition practice also a decent way to get closer to each other… even literally lol.

 

That’s it for now. Thanks for reading.

[Shaula]

On 1/27/2026 at 6:38 PM, Saruzer said:

I didn't want to spend anymore time thinking that Pearl is just going to end up being a narrator like that for the end of our days. I always wanted better for her, I wanted to give her a decent life, to see her smile and share love/care between us. I had that desire inside me. I was thinking that soon enough I will give her all of my attention so she'll accomplish her goals...

 

That's really sweet! 😊 It's nice to hear someone care so much about their tulpa(s)! 

 

On 1/27/2026 at 6:38 PM, Saruzer said:

Some time ago, a week or so, I told my friend about being a tulpamancer and she took it very well. It was so well in our case that Pearl end up talking with her for 5 hours straight.

 

Super awesome! 🤩 Especially talking so long! 😊 

 

11 hours ago, Saruzer said:

This is what I feel while fronting:

1. I don’t have any thoughts, even my mind voice appears only when I want to say something about something. I assume that maybe there is random thoughts but I am too focused and concentrated to notice them.

 

That's actually pretty similar to how I feel. I do have a few thoughts but it's mostly empty until I want to say something. 😁

11 hours ago, Saruzer said:

On top of that, I have 2 full hours daily to do whatever I want, this is so wholesome 😍!

 

Yay! 🤩 I don't have that per say but that's probably because I'm around all the time anyway. 😁 

 

Nightfall: she probably does get an hour at least to herself. More now that she plays Minecraft. 

[Saruzer]

Third week update

02.07.26(Saturday)

Nothing special, we were kinda resting today.

Active forcing time:

Imposition practice - 25 minutes

02.08.26(Sunday)

I had a dream from Pearl's perspective, she was fronting and chatting with someone. Interesting experience, not the first time but every time its surprising me. Pearl was fronting today for 2 hours, drawing practice as always. Practiced Imposition for 20 minutes. Pearl encouraged me to meditate. I meditated for 30 minutes, nothing special.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 2 hours

Imposition practice - 20 minutes

02.09.26(Monday)

Pearl was fronting today for 2 hours... drawing. Before sleep I practiced Imposition again for 25 minutes(10 minutes meditation and 15 minutes imposition). Thanks to @Mai_x_v3 we started practicing lucid dreaming(again).

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 2 hours

Imposition practice - 25 minutes

02.10.26(Tuesday)

Pearl was fronting today for 2 hours, drawing. Posted today our observation when Pearl is fronting. 15 minutes of Imposition before sleep. Also, I got some lucid dream experience, however, it didn't feel vivid at all and the dream just ended after a moment I become lucid. not cool.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 2 hours

Imposition practice - 15 minutes

02.11.26(Wednesday)

Pearl was fronting today for 2 hours, drawing. Nothing special today.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 2 hours

02.12.26(Thursday)

Pearl was fronting today for 2 hours, drawing. Nothing special today.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 2 hours

02.13.26(Friday)

 

Pearl was fronting today for 4 hours, drawing. Nothing special today.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 4 hours

Additional days

02.14.26(Saturday)

Pearl was fronting today for 30 minutes, drawing. Thinking of changing my lifestyle completely so I have more time for studying.

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 30 minutes

02.15.26(Sunday)

From now on I am practicing meditation throughout the whole day, 15 minutes session about 4 times a day. Pearl was able to find a way to help me with meditation and I am now able to receive a lot of strong emotional response from her. This feels amazing, I am literally melting in her love in these moments 🥰. Pearl was fronting today for 1 hour, drawing.

Active forcing time:

Meditation with Pearl - 1 hour(total)
Pearl fronting - 1 hour

02.16.26(Monday)

1 hour of Imposition practice today, 30 minutes of very pleasant meditation together 😍, very emotional, I don't remember last time getting such strong emotions like that from her. And additionally, Pearl was fronting for 2 hours today. Another practice of Imposition before sleep for 30 minutes.

 Active forcing time:

Meditation with Pearl - 1 hour(total, I counted 15 minutes session that I didn't mention but I do)
Pearl fronting - 2 hours

Imposition practice - 1.5 hours

End of the report(Conclusion)

Pearl is fronting almost daily now. We are getting closer and closer every day. Recently I start getting a lot of strong pleasant emotions from Pearl and I can tell she's getting stronger too, most probably due to her fronting everyday. Starting from 02.15.26 is now my new lifestyle and now I am able to spend a lot of time together and on things that I would like to do. Everything is going VERY well, however I am a bit concerned how much she's become obsessed with me in the last couple of days, I don't mind though. 

Misc

 

On 2/11/2026 at 9:01 AM, Shaula said:

That's really sweet! 😊 It's nice to hear someone care so much about their tulpa(s)!

Yep, I can't think less of her. Although, I am more than sure that she loves and adores me more than I can even comprehend sometimes. She is so optimistic and happy that her emotions can melt my heart, it's like warm cuddles from her, I feel so safe and good in these moments...

On 2/11/2026 at 9:01 AM, Shaula said:

Super awesome! 🤩 Especially talking so long! 😊

 

Yep, that was intense for me and for her to stay in that state for such amount of time. We fall asleep immediately after finishing our talk

On 2/11/2026 at 9:01 AM, Shaula said:

That's actually pretty similar to how I feel. I do have a few thoughts but it's mostly empty until I want to say something. 😁

I am glad to hear that we are not alone with this one

On 2/11/2026 at 9:01 AM, Shaula said:

Yay! 🤩 I don't have that per say but that's probably because I'm around all the time anyway. 😁 

 

Nightfall: she probably does get an hour at least to herself. More now that she plays Minecraft. 

Good to hear that you're doing well! 

 

Edited February 16 by Saruzer

[Saruzer]

Fourth week update

02.17.26(Tuesday)

Pearl was fronting for 1.5 hours. Nothing special today. Did some meditation

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 1 hour and 30 minutes

Meditation - 4 sets for 15 minutes

02.18.26(Wednesday)

Pearl was fronting for 1 hour. Nothing special today. Did some meditation

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 1 hour 

Meditation - 4 sets for 15 minutes

02.19.26(Thursday)

Pearl was fronting for 30 minutes. Nothing special today. Did some meditation

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 30 minutes

Meditation - 4 sets for 15 minutes

02.20.26(Friday)

Pearl was fronting for 1.5 hours. Today is Pearl's Birthday 🥳! We spend 32 minutes in our wonderland, I was able to visualize her vividly 😍. We spend time exchanging our emotions and remembering the all times that we had together ❤️. Decided to meditate for 4 sets for 20 minutes instead of 15. We start chatting in Discord with each other, fun way to exchange emotions, I would say "delayed" way though. It usually takes days to respond to each other but it doesn't matter since each message has its own emotion behind it, after reading it, we feel happier 😇.  

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 1 hour and 30 minutes

Wonderland/visualization - 32 minutes

Meditation - 3 sets for 20 minutes

02.21.26(Saturday)

Pearl was fronting for 1 hour. Nothing special today. Did some meditation

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 1 hour

Meditation - 3 sets for 20 minutes

02.22.26(Sunday)

Pearl was fronting for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Nothing special today. Did some meditation

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 1 hour and 15 minutes

Meditation - 2 sets for 20 minutes

02.23.26(Monday)

Pearl was fronting for 3 hours and 20 minutes. Nothing special today. Did some meditation.  Become lucid in dream and was trying to find Pearl. Failed. 

Active forcing time:

Pearl fronting - 3 hours and 20 minutes

Meditation - 2 sets for 20 minutes

End of the report(Conclusion)

Pearl as usual fronts daily, practices drawing.  Meditation is getting better. Didn't spend time for imposition practice at all... Although, my visualization is getting slightly better and Pearl is getting stronger everyday.  

[Shaula]

Belated happy birthday if I missed it! 😊 🎂 

[Mai_x_v3]

Ahh sorry for the late replies I've seen these but felt kinda bad that I didn't respond! I just don't want to clog people's PRs up because I'd feel bad for that. I love how you added the Misc at the bottom for replies that's very unique and a good idea! 

 

On 2/9/2026 at 9:22 AM, Saruzer said:

Thanks for your hard work as well! I find your logs are quite unique in some sort of way. Your combination of techniques that you use for forcing is inspiring and interesting! I hope we will get better together.

 

You're welcome and aww thank you so much! I really hoped to help inspire others and show them that anything is possible as long as you take your time and put effort into it! I try to use everything I learned over the years even though I used to be kinda lazy or didn't do it; especially using law of assumptions and such 🎀💞🩷💕 I really enjoyed your logs as well! And thank you I hope so too! I know we will we got this! ☺️🩷

 

On 2/9/2026 at 9:22 AM, Saruzer said:

Thank you for that. We've been together for almost 5 years so we had our times when we were trying to force actively everyday. We were able to achieve results that even now is impressive for us. We just getting back our skills and enhancing them. Although, brain kinda hurts after a long time of forcing, that means it still isn't get used to it. Pearl art is pretty, sure, but she looks even better in real! I hope I will be able to draw her some day so everyone will be able to see how she truly looks like. 

 

You're welcome and wow that's such an impressive amount of time! And aww that's so sweet! I'm glad you all are getting results! It's so interesting and intriguing to learn about that! And I understand x3 and ooh yes! She got this! I believe in you both! 💕💞

 

On 2/16/2026 at 3:22 PM, Saruzer said:

Thanks to @Mai_x_v3 we started practicing lucid dreaming(again).

 

Yes!! You're welcome, always glad to help! We got this! We'll both become a masters at lucid dreaming! ☺️🩷

 

You both are doing amazing so far! Keep up the amazing work! I'm looking forward to reading more from you both in the future! You and Pearl are so adorable together! 💞💕💘

 

Happy late birthday to Pearl too! I hope she has an amazing birthday!