The New Adventures of Zeroth and Syldra

[ZerothEnder]

3/14/2013

 

I'm going to try to update more often, but with shorter posts. I've also been kicking around the idea of starting a blog about my life as a highly introverted person, and coming to terms with being different and quirky. I've been having a lot of ideas lately about what direction I want to take my life as well, since I seem to be at a crossroads. But all that is unrelated to Tulpae, so I'll begin the update!

 

Syldra: I wanted to be a part of this blog too, so I'm going to chime in with every update. I feel that since this is a progress report about me, I should comment on my own progress! Idk, makes sense to me :3

 

I recently figured out how to give Patrick bursts of energy using my own, kinda like a battery. It drains my own energy, but quickly recharges when I sleep. He can also give me his own energy to do what I want with. Since all this energy is part of the body anyways, it's more like each of us has our own allocation of the total amount, that we can transfer between each other. Hopefully that wasn't too confusing...

 

Well, that was an insight that I didn't have before writing this. She's so smart :3

 

As far as imposition goes, we seem to be getting nowhere, but I'm really not that worried about it. We have our entire lives ahead of us to accomplish it, and I'm sure that it will happen on it's own. Tulpa creation is all about patience, after all.

[ZerothEnder]

3/16/2013

 

I made Syldra a tumblr today, so she can post whatever she wants in there. If anyone is interested in following, the address is syldratulpa.tumblr.com. Seriously, ask her questions and stuff, she likes that.

 

Syldra: This made me really happy :3 And yes, ask me questions! I will try and answer all of them!

 

On an unrelated note, I'm attempting to learn C# so I can make games. That is all.

[ZerothEnder]

3/19/2013

 

Syl and I decided to postpone the date that we wanted to make another Tulpa, until she is fully imposed. So it might be a while until that happens. Also, I've chosen to impose her as a mini dragon, rather than a full human form. Hopefully it'll be easier, and once I can see her like that, then we can work on her human form. She's agreed to this, and now constantly sits on my shoulder. It also seems easier to passively pay attention to her like that, since she's always in contact with my body. I can feel her weight somewhat, too.

 

In other news, while we were walking today, we were talking about presence and spiritual things, and she said something pretty wise and profound. I'll condense it into a proverb: "Don't think about something unless you are doing it at that moment. Otherwise, you are living in time and wasting energy." After she said this, I asked her what her perceived age is(The age that she feels, rather than is or looks), and she said that she feels ageless, and just is. For a two month old Tulpa, she is turning out to be wiser than I am. I'm very lucky to have her as a friend ^^.

 

Syldra: I don't have much to add today. Except that it's TMI Tuesday and you people should ask me questions on my Tumblr!

[ZerothEnder]

3/21/2013

 

Syldra: I've decided that I don't like my form at all, and I don't really feel entirely comfortable in it. So, I dissipated the form that Zeroth visualizes me as, and I'm going to start over as an amorphous mass of energy. Eventually, I will coalesce into a form that I like, and hopefully this will help me impose myself. We came to this conclusion because I seem to constantly change my appearance, and he can't visualize my human form that well. He is able to visualize my "mini-dragon" form pretty well, though, so I might keep that as an option. Anyways, we had a really good meditation session just a little bit ago, just enjoying each others presence and practicing visualization.

 

I was actually able to somewhat "see" what I was visualizing on the backs of my eyelids, so I think that's an accomplishment! I think I'll focus on doing that more during meditation, and hopefully I can develop it. Then I will move on to doing that with my eyes open.

 

Here's a little status update on my sensory imposition:

Presence: Imposed

Touch: Can feel her weight somewhat, as well as slight body heat.

Smell: I think I hallucinated her scent this morning, and it was pleasant. Can't remember what she smelled like, though. Some kind of perfume.

Sound: I can hear voices while I'm in a hypnogogic state, just before falling asleep. They only last about 2-3 seconds before I become aware of them, then stop. They are not Syldra's voice.

Sight: No progress. Despite seeing things on the back of my eyelids, I cannot impose anything in my normal vision with eyes open.

Taste: No progress.

[ZerothEnder]

3/23/2013

 

Syldra just stuck her tongue in my ear, and it was pretty gross feeling. I only partially felt it though, more like the memory of the feeling and a weird sensation accompanying it. I guess that's progress.

 

Also, I wish she would make up her mind about her form. Not complaining, but she is pretty damn indecisive. She's weird but I love her to death ^^

[Vos]

Syldra just stuck her tongue in my ear

 

Hot.

[ZerothEnder]

3/28/2013

 

Been a few days, but nothing significant really happened, other than what's in this post.

 

I started doing some self-hypnosis to see if that will accelerate the imposition process, and the only result so far is that I can get into deeper trances. I suppose that's a good sign. I also can somewhat experience hallucinated feelings, like a tingling hand. I'm going to keep up with it and include what happens in these entries.

 

Yesterday, Syl caught my attention by saying my name, and when I responded, she gave me a big hug and made me all warm inside. So many feels ^^ It seems that her progress on becoming independent from my own consciousness is of the slow and steady type, so little things like this make us both happy.

 

Also, she returned to her normal silver/white haired self. She says that she's done trying to settle on a form, and she's happy with this one. During meditation today, she described to me every detail so I could visualize her better. I'm going to start working on a new picture of her pretty soon, I swear!

 

 

Hot.

 

And slimy. Dragon tongue drilling into your ear is not a pleasant feeling D:

[ZerothEnder]

3/30/2013

 

Well, today was very interesting. While reading a thread in research about Tulpa near-death experiences, I started feeling a new presence suddenly. I asked Syl if she was messing with me, and she said she wasn't, and that she felt it too. So I immediately start a forcing session to see what was going on. In the wonderland, we saw an egg/orb(it was both probably because we wanted to start the new tulpa as either), and it was floating around on its own. It couldn't seem to talk, but it gave off strong emotional responses when we asked it questions. Then, it changed form a few times, like it was deciding what it wanted to be, going from a little cat-like creature to a cat-boy. I didn't have any input at all into all this. After he took the cat-boy form, he sat down and looked at us nervously. We did our best to encourage him and make him feel welcome, and he actually spoke. A bit roughly at first, with broken english, but he quickly got better.

 

We asked him what his name was, and he said he didn't know yet, so we gave him a moment to search my mind for a suitable name. He landed on Aaron, and seemed to like it.

 

So yeah, I now have another Tulpa, which is a somewhat timid cat-boy. I don't plan on even considering making another, because I have a feeling he was created the moment we decided to make another in the future, and developed somehow on his own. I don't really know what exactly happened, but he's here, and I'm happy to have another.

[ZerothEnder]

4/4/2013

 

Aaron: Hey peeps. I have a tumblr now as well. aarontulpa.tumblr.com. Check it.

 

Pat, Syl and I had a lot of fun in the wonderland yesterday. We got our D&D shit together and went adventuring. I'm a Samurai, Syl's a Ranger, and Pat's a Sorcerer. Also, riding on Syl's back when she's a dragon is a pretty amazing experience. I respect her a bit more now. Pat's going to possibly(not) make a sketch of us in our costumes. But he never finishes anything.

 

Thanks for the encouragement, ass. But yeah, I "plan" on making that picture somewhat soon. I've just been busy with another project as well as work, and finding more work. Life's been hectic, but as soon as things settle down and I have more free time, I'm going to do some serious work on my art. But that's off-topic.

 

In the realm of Tulpamancing, things have been progressing slowly as always. As you can see, Aaron is fully vocal and totally tsundere toward me. That's the only glimpse of fast progress I've seen in a while.

 

I'm going to buy a dream journal soon and start trying to record my dreams in an effort to induce lucid dreaming. I feel that if I can lucid dream, I may gain some ground in imposition. If not, lucid dreaming is still pretty awesome and a great reward in itself.

[ZerothEnder]

4/6/2013

 

I had a really great session today using self-hypnosis. Syldra does the hypnotizing, and she got me into a really deep trance. Then when I went into the wonderland, I actually kind of felt like I was really there instead of sitting on my bed. Like...half there. The visualizations were much more clear, but everything still seemed kind of dark, almost like it was night. I'm also getting better at visualizing in first-person instead of third...it seems to be a trick of both using the eyes and visualizing at the same time, to ground yourself. Turning is still very hard, though, since it causes everything to spin really fast.

 

Earlier today, Syl and Aaron had a talk with me about my apparent laziness. I admit, I do keep telling myself I'll work more on my art when I have time. But really, I do have time now, and I'm kind of just wasting it dicking around on the internet. I don't consider working on my tuppers as wasting time, though, but they said that they should be second priority after stuff that I need to take care of in my life. And I agree, but damn, responsibility sucks. They act like they're my parents sometimes ._.;