Let's get this party started

[Oliveeater]

First off, I'd like to tell whoever might read this a little something about myself, and my tulpa. My name is Olivia, my tulpa is Zero. I'm 15, he's somewhere around 18 or 19. I'm a girl, he's a guy, and I created him so that I could have a friend that I could tell anything, without worrying about being judged. The reason I didn't make him a girl it that, in my experience, they're cruel and judgmental (less than the guys I know, at least), and I was afraid that would've accidentally gotten carried over to him. So, without further ado, here's my progress up to this point.

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 1, December 25th

I learned about a creature called a Tulpa. After reading more about it and finding a website, Tulpa.info, I've decided to make one. I can't really think of a name right now, but I've decided that he'll sort of resemble Sollux, at least until he decides to deviate. I've skimmed several of the guides, although there are still a few points that I'm sort of confused about. I'm sure I'll figure it out soon. I'll try to write an entry every few days, although I've never been the best at it.

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 2, December 26th

It's only been a day since I decided to make a Tulpa, and I've only done a bit of visualising and working on his personality. I also narrated to him for a bit while I was alone, but I won't be able to really work on him for another week. Hopefully sooner, but probably not. I thought I heard a voice say my name a little while ago, but I'm not sure. It seems a bit early, but maybe it was him...? I'm trying not to get my hopes up for nothing, but I don't want to doubt him.

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 9, January 3rd

I've been working on visualising and working on his personality, but I haven't narrated to him much. I still haven't been able to think of a name, but I'm sure it'll come to me eventually. If not, I'll let him pick it for himself when the time comes. On a more exciting note, I had a very interesting dream last night! For about fifteen minutes before I go to bed at night I work on him, spending about five minutes each on his personality, visualising, and narrating. In my dream I was in a house, standing near a staircase. When I looked up the stairs I felt an overwhelming sense of fear, but when I reached the top I saw a guy, maybe eighteen or nineteen(possibly older), standing in a sun-filled room. He had shaggy brown hair that almost reached his shoulders, and glasses. I can't remember much else about him, but I think his eyes were brown. When I looked at him all of my fear disappeared, and I said, "This is my tulpa." When I said that he smiled, and the dream ended. I think it's a good sign! Hopefully he'll appear to me again tonight, or sometime soon.

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 10, January 4th

So, no dreams last night. Not any that I can remember, anyway. I'm kind f disappointed, but it'll happen when it happens. In the meantime I guess I'll keep working on him. I came up with a couple names, but I'm still not sure about them. I was thinking Void, or Zero? I'm not sure though, because I don't want the name to influence who he is, or how he thinks of himself. Maybe if I start calling him by one of them he can give me a sign on whether he agrees with it or not? I dunno, I'm probably just worrying over nothing. Plus, he can always change it later on, if he wants to.

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 12, January 6th

Nothing new to report for the last few days, but I've been narrating regularly, although I've been slacking on visualising. Soooo, I guess I'd better pick up the slack if I want to get anywhere. Bluuuuugh, curse my lazy personality.

 

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 20, January 14th

Nothing new to report once again. Basically the same as last time, I spend the majority of the time narrating, and not enough time visualising. I wonder if I can get anywhere like this? Probably not. Although, I probably spend at least two hours narrating last night, which is more than usual, so I can't complain about that. Guess that's all for now, I haven't heard/seen anything new lately.

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 29, January 23th

While I had originally meant to keep a log every day, obviously that has failed. I spend a lot of time talking to Zero, but not very much time visualizing him. I've noticed that it's really hard to visualize him without puppeting him, which is my biggest problem, and really discourages me. I'll just have to forge on, and try to keep my focus. Wish me luck.

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 33, January 28th

I've been really focusing on his personality, and visualizing him, and I've managed to give him a good form (In my opinion.) The dream really helped me figure out his face, which was the hardest part before that point. Whenever I think of his personality I sort of imagine putting all of his traits into a blender, and having him drink them. I still need to work on his personality more, though, it's definitely not finished yet.

[Guest Anonymous]

I'm a girl, he's a guy, and I created him so that I could have a friend that I could tell anything, without worrying about being judged. The reason I didn't make him a girl it that, in my experience, they're cruel and judgmental (less than the guys I know, at least), and I was afraid that would've accidentally gotten carried over to him.

 

From what I know, gender stereotypes don't usually carry over to tulpas. Granted, it is probably a good move to try and avoid anything happening to his personality if he was a girl.

 

Does Zero/Void still look like Sollux from HS? You talked about him having brown shaggy hair, which isn't like the series' version of him (If I recall correctly).

 

Why do you have trouble with puppeting him while visualizing him? How do you feel you are puppeting him? You have to consider that, since he has already responded (in your dream and called your name), you can assume he is sentient, which is something you should assume from every point in the creation process. If you feel he is trying to reach out to you somehow, let that action prosper and grow, and don't automatically liken it you puppeting him.

 

Regarding that name calling, where did it happen? Were you in your room, or were you out in the street? Were you listening to music with vocals, or was it mainly instrumental? I myself sometimes experience my name being called by an unknown person, but its usually in a public place while I'm listening to music.

 

Could you describe his personality a bit? And how do you remember to talk to him?

 

Where do you live, time zone wise? You say your name is Olivia, so I assume you are white, and your progress is up 'till the 28, and in my time zone (EST), its only the 27. Are you Australian?

[Domnopalus]

Jimmy makes some very good points there, definitely, and good things to pay attention to.

 

You do seem like you have a firm grasp on what a tulpa is/can be (though remember, you have to find what works for you personally; there's no one 'right' way to make a tulpa--these are guidelines/jumping off points). Like Jimmy said, paying attention to personality and noting it is very important. Forcing it along though may not always work. If it is something you've been neglecting though, it might be a good idea to give it a little push. You seem to be letting him find his own forms, etc., which is really great for developing sentience and such. To a large degree, like 'good characters,' tulpae can 'write themselves,' but don't be disappointed if this process seems to stop. Part of the art of tulpamancing has to do with being aware enough to know when your tulpa needs to develop on its own and when you need to help it along. It's a very delicate balance, especially at the beginning.

 

Do you know how to lucid dream? That might help you along, since you mentioned a good portion of him came to you in a dream (it's amazing and wonderful when this happens, and tends to be pretty uncommon from what I understand). I often find, to my disappointment, that if I try to dream about something specific and focus on it before bed, most often I decidedly don't dream about it. I think it's possible to choose what you want to dream though through practice--I just haven't studied it/practiced that aspect of it. I am able to lucid dream at will though, once I'm in a dream already. Anyway, it might be something fun to look into during the creation process.

 

About the boy/girl thing; I totally understand. I'm a girl and my tulpa is male, and there is something definitely refreshing about that to me; not sure why. I have experienced girls IRL to be capable of being awesome friends, or terrible catty manipulative people. I've also discovered guys to be the same way. It really depends on who you meet of course, but I'll tell you one thing--you are CERTAINLY at an age where girls are HORRENDOUS to each other. I've experienced it first hand. Rest assured that will change as you get older. I have about 8 years of experience over you along those lines. Not a lot, but enough to tell you that you'll probably make some great female friends once they get over themselves. And some NEVER get over themselves. But as I said, same with guys. Anyway, most importantly YOU must choose a tulpa you are most comfortable with, and having the yin/yang thing is a common trend among tulpamancers and I think is very beneficial in many ways emotionally.

[Oliveeater]

Thank you both for your comments and advice, they mean a lot.

 

He doesn't look too much like Sollux any more, and although certain aspects like the glasses have stayed the same, he's mostly deviated away from that. He's very friendly and open, willing to talk about virtually anything, and always up for trying new things. He can be sort of childish at times, and when he gets mad or doesn't like what's being said he does the whole, "I'm not listening" thing. He's gets really excited over little things, even when they don't seem all that special. He's also really fidgety, and he's always moving, even if it's just little stuff like tapping his foot.

 

When I first heard him call my name I was alone in my room, and it was late, I think around 1 or 2 a.m. I was listening to music, but it was just kind of background noise. I'm pretty sure the song had vocals, though.

 

Sometimes when I'm talking to him, or playing a game with him I imagine him moving around, or just sitting and hanging out, but it just feels like I'm making him do it, so I stop. Should I stop doing that?

 

 

I'm not really sure how I remind myself to talk to him, but whenever I'm bored in class or at home, or just hanging out by myself I'll talk to him. I usually just tell him what I'm doing, or ask him whether he likes what we're watching and stuff like that. He hasn't replied yet, that I can remember, though.

 

I really hope that the girls around me change and mature, the ones around me right now are definitely very manipulative and self-centered, while most of my guy friends are just the opposite. Of course, I might just be bad at picking female friends, who knows.

 

One last thing, I just checked the date on my phone and my last log should say the 27th. My computer is a day ahead for some reason. I'm from the US, and I'm actually half-white and half-black.

[Aarix]

Never worry about puppeting, just do what feels natural . If you're not sure if you're puppeting them or not then odds are you are'nt and it won't cause really any hinder in development besides possibly annoy the tulpa. Whatever you do, do not worry about it. It will feel flowing when your tulpa does stuff and when they get more develop their actions feel more detached.

 

I'm glad you're making such smooth progress, I wish you luck in further development and you know where to find us if you have ANY questions.

[Aurora]

Hi Olivia, hi Zero. *waves* It's very nice too meet you!

 

Like Aarix said, you are doing nothing wrong. You never puppet, unless you are doing it on purpose.

 

He's gets really excited over little things, even when they don't seem all that special.

 

Me too!!! A common trait among young tulpas it seems.

 

I think it's very good that you're starting your tulpa at this age, it seems to give you an advantage. Make sure to have plenty of fun on this unique journey of a lifetime. If you ever feel like chatting or if you need any help, I'll always be happy to hear from you :)

[Oliveeater]

I haven't been able to post for a while because I haven't had any Wi-Fi, so here's what's happened since my last updates.

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 34, January 29th

I spent about an hour working on visualising, and I think I did pretty good. I'm thinking about writing down what he looks like and making note of any changes that I notice. I've been narrating to him regularly throughout the day, so all I need to work on is his personality, which I'll probably do later on tonight. I still have yet to hear anything from him so far, but that's probably my own fault for not seriously working on him for a while. I might update later, once I work on his personality.

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 36, January 31st

Well, I didn't get any visualising or anything done yesterday (other than narrating), and probably won't get anything done today. Some stuff happened, and I just can't do it tonight.

 

Tulpa Log, Day 39, February 3rd

I spent a good hour on visualising this morning, and I think it went really well. A lot more detail went into it than usual, everything just came really easily. I think it's a sign that things are starting to progress further, so, finger's crossed! Once I get his looks really nailed down, I'm gonna start going more in depth with his personality, because right now it's just sort of an outline. That's all the news I have for now, farewell!

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 45, February 9th

Not much to say this time around, I've spent a little bit of time here and there working on forcing. I asked Zero to wake me up at a certain time, and I feel like he did, but I can't remember. I had a few odd dreams last night, and I sort of get the feeling that he was in them, but the faces are hazy and I can't remember.

 

 

Tulpa Log, Day 52, February 16th

Things have been going pretty well, I spend at least an hour a day talking and hanging out with Zero. Today we played a game that I made up, and danced and listened to music and stuff. Zero still hasn't said anything, but he gives everybody a thumbs up and a smile!

[Guest Anonymous]

I can't really say much except nice work. Perhaps you could detail that game so others could play it, or something like that?

[Oliveeater]

Well, the game is called Space Command, and there's really not much to it. I made it up because I'm at my dad's house, and I get really, really bored. Basically me and Zero just wander around the house and pretend that we crash-landed on an alien planet and my step-siblings are aliens that we're trying to blend in with. My room is the ship and my computer is our communications center. It's sort of childish, but we have fun and he likes it, and it helps me with visualizing.

[Oliveeater]

Tulpa Log, Day 53, February 17th

It's sort of rare for me to do an entry two days in a row, but I'm sort of having a dilemma, which I was hoping some of you guys could help me out with? I've been feeling a strong urge all day to make another tulpa, based off of a character named Cheshire that I made a while back. I spent a lot of time and thought on him, but I sorta stopped using him when I stoppped RPing as much as I used to. The thing is, Zero isn't completely finished, and it'll be really hard for me to divide my time between the both of them. I'm also unsure as to whether they'll get along, because their personalities are complete opposites.

 

So, can somebody maybe give me a little advice? Please and thanks.