Z-Byte

Z-Byte's Happy Place

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I've fallen by the wayside here. Due to a whole lot of stress popping up, it's hard to keep my motivation to force. As much as I want to, I just can't seem to focus enough during meditation, and I'm worried about all of these negative thoughts having an effect on my tulpa. Even if they don't, I feel like my forcing session, when I have them, are very sporadic and unfocused, leaving me feeling like nothing was accomplished at the end of the session.

 

I can still feel them, and I'm trying not to lose them, but I haven't tried imposing them in a while. I'm not going to give up, but does anyone know of a way to reduce stressful and negative thoughts before forcing?


Chrysala

Female

Personality: ESTJ; Soft-spoken wise counsel, devil's advocate, soothing temperament

Body: Western dragon with dark green scales with gold flecks, golden belly scales, sunset-colored eyes

Current stage: Personality building

 

Ambrosia

Female

Personality: ESFP; Cheerful firecracker, seeks to laugh and entertain, childlike curiosity, boundless energy

Body: Fairy with wild red hair, dragonfly wings, deep blue eyes

Current stage: Personality building

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It's been a while, guys. I still haven't had time to really force them, and there have been days where I haven't contacted them much at all. I haven't seen them, I haven't felt their touch, and I was afraid that I was going to lose them if I didn't.

 

But I have heard them.

 

I was reminded, by Chrysala, that she's been there with me since the beginning, and chastised me for stressing over her. I never did before, and the only thing that's changed is my self-imposed 'obligation' to see her come into being, and according to her, that is a detriment more than anything else. Her exact words were:

 

"I am who I have always been. A body or a voice will never change that. Please stop worrying about me. I am fine."

 

As for Amber... I technically did not hear her. But every time I lay down or try to get comfortable, I can imagine her laying beside or on top of me without thinking, and when I'm walking I can imagine her walking behind me, jumping up on rails, doing hand (hoof)stands and all sorts of other random things. It's not a physical thing I can see, but I just know what she's doing, and my mind's eye colors in the picture after the fact. She sends me words sometimes, mostly cute little disruptions of what I'm thinking or saying, usually in what I can only describe as a younger Pinkie Pie's voice.

 

Oh, and apparently, she chews on her winglets when shes sleeping, usually waking up with one or two in her mouth. These aren't things I have seen, but these are things that come to me. Ideas about them that I haven't considered before. It makes me think that they really are doing just fine without my constant forcing. They're not getting any more solid, or any louder, but in that sweet little place between dreaming and waking, right when your body is asleep but your mind hasn't quite hit it yet, I can hear them as clear as day.

 

It's a very pleasing thought.


Chrysala

Female

Personality: ESTJ; Soft-spoken wise counsel, devil's advocate, soothing temperament

Body: Western dragon with dark green scales with gold flecks, golden belly scales, sunset-colored eyes

Current stage: Personality building

 

Ambrosia

Female

Personality: ESFP; Cheerful firecracker, seeks to laugh and entertain, childlike curiosity, boundless energy

Body: Fairy with wild red hair, dragonfly wings, deep blue eyes

Current stage: Personality building

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Okay, so my hand is less broken, so typing is much, much more fun now! I've done a bit of forcing, particularly on Amber, and she's decided to change her hair style with my help. It's now long and curly, and I've given her dark freckles on her cheeks. I've also added red tips to her feathers, which was fun to do! She is fully aware when we force, so I'm forming her wings, stretching them out in my hands, working on each feather, then placing the wing back on. It was funny, because when I put one wing on and started working on the other, she flapped it and rolled sideways into me, resulting in a bout of laughter and some cuddling before we continued.

 

So far so good! Though it turns out that the lyrics of one of my favorite songs, "Under a Violet Moon" by Blackmore's Night, has the phrase "A Tudor rose with her hair in curls will make you turn and stare." I wonder if that had anything to do with her decision to change her hairstyle...


Chrysala

Female

Personality: ESTJ; Soft-spoken wise counsel, devil's advocate, soothing temperament

Body: Western dragon with dark green scales with gold flecks, golden belly scales, sunset-colored eyes

Current stage: Personality building

 

Ambrosia

Female

Personality: ESFP; Cheerful firecracker, seeks to laugh and entertain, childlike curiosity, boundless energy

Body: Fairy with wild red hair, dragonfly wings, deep blue eyes

Current stage: Personality building

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http://postimg.org/image/9pzp4os29/

I've gotten around to making Amber with the Zoi pony creator. It's such a useful tool for forcing, I think, as it gives me a basic outline. It doesn't help for imposing in the real world...

 

That is, until I found the 3D pony maker for Garry's mod. Now I don't own it, sadly, so I was only able to use it for a few minutes on my Friend's computer, but what I created basically pleased me to no end.

 

http://o.aolcdn.com/hss/storage/fss/ce3af1646161cf98f4fdaa4447feef5b/2013-06-27_00002.jpg

 

It's as close as I can get for now... but I am happy.


Chrysala

Female

Personality: ESTJ; Soft-spoken wise counsel, devil's advocate, soothing temperament

Body: Western dragon with dark green scales with gold flecks, golden belly scales, sunset-colored eyes

Current stage: Personality building

 

Ambrosia

Female

Personality: ESFP; Cheerful firecracker, seeks to laugh and entertain, childlike curiosity, boundless energy

Body: Fairy with wild red hair, dragonfly wings, deep blue eyes

Current stage: Personality building

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Worked on arting another picture for Amber Rose. She seems pretty happy about it. Considering my lack of talent in THIS particular form of art, I'm actually a little pleased with it!

 

http://postimg.org/image/7rtlj5ap3/

 

Getting better every day. Tried to make her hair extra curly, the way it is now.


Chrysala

Female

Personality: ESTJ; Soft-spoken wise counsel, devil's advocate, soothing temperament

Body: Western dragon with dark green scales with gold flecks, golden belly scales, sunset-colored eyes

Current stage: Personality building

 

Ambrosia

Female

Personality: ESFP; Cheerful firecracker, seeks to laugh and entertain, childlike curiosity, boundless energy

Body: Fairy with wild red hair, dragonfly wings, deep blue eyes

Current stage: Personality building

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Digging this out of its grave, but for good reason.

 

I'm coming back!

 

Amber has started shifting away from a pure pony look, and is now flitting between wanting to be a fairy or a "flutterpony," the cross between a pixie and a pony. I'm cool with either, though I believe she's leaning more towards wanting the fairy look.

 

Chrysala is as she has always been. Not much forcing has been done at all, but we still talk enough to keep all of our minds alive. Been wanting to get more serious about it, so here we are!

 

Not creating a new thread because A: History is important and B: No reason to when I already have my own thread!


Chrysala

Female

Personality: ESTJ; Soft-spoken wise counsel, devil's advocate, soothing temperament

Body: Western dragon with dark green scales with gold flecks, golden belly scales, sunset-colored eyes

Current stage: Personality building

 

Ambrosia

Female

Personality: ESFP; Cheerful firecracker, seeks to laugh and entertain, childlike curiosity, boundless energy

Body: Fairy with wild red hair, dragonfly wings, deep blue eyes

Current stage: Personality building

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