Distressed.

[KarlYoshimura]

Will someone kindly educate me on how a host's intrusive thoughts affect tulpas?

 

I have moderate levels of anxiety, and there are times when I feel almost overwhelmed with negative intrusive thoughts. Most recently and painfully are thoughts involving my tulpa. Sometimes I feel like I'll experience betrayal or painful loss if I focus on these thoughts for so long.

 

I feel bad in even typing these words out, as I feel that my tulpa would never do such things. Yet there is a deep and poorly subdued concern that my subconscious fears will somehow corrupt her, or that she will take these subconscious details as cues on how I expect her to act.

[Linkzelda]

We all have a myriad of behavioral impulses, thoughts, and desires so entrenched in us that it may feel overwhelming to wonder how a tulpa can coexist within it. From pattern recognition and such that would make the difference in our survival in identifying prey and predator, there would have to be a development in overall cognition for us to function.

 

An anthropologist by the name of Leslie White proposed (and made an extension to this) in “The Symbol: The Origins and Basis of Human Behavior” that making symbolic meaning is a unique aspect of humanity (though now it would be apparent in other sapient beings). The point that I’m trying to get at here is that even though you feel there’s going to be some unconscious impulse that would corrupt her, it would just be your attachment to those thoughts that may shift to her behaving like that.

 

I know this should be fairly obvious, but treat her as a sentient and independent being, the more you get into believing that, the more the mind may make connections of the tulpa learning how to make symbolic meaning that’s important to them and her filtering out what you feel may affect them negatively. And even if she somehow were affected by those thoughts, she would be able to cope with them and develop her own ways of “acting" or "being."

 

It may feel like the worst case scenario can happen, but do take into consideration of her becoming someone to act accordingly on her own in the complex stimuli within your mind.

 

Tl;dr: A tulpa being able to make symbolic meaning out of the complexity of the mind in general is a similar ability that sapient beings such as us have to make use of pattern recognition, perception, and other modes of cognition used for survival.

 

Shifting your thoughts elsewhere and knowing she can act decently within the confines of your mind may make the difference in your progress with her.

 

 

 

Citation:

 

http://pss.sagepub.com/content/24/5/660

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/04/130403141442.htm (this gives a summary of the above if you can't afford the article or journal)

 

(I don't know online versions for these, maybe a pdf, but it doesn't go into more detail like the originals)

 

White, L. (1932). The Mentality of Primates. The Scientific Monthly, pp. 69-72.

White, L. (1940). The Symbol: The Origins and Basis of Human Behavior. Philosophy of Science, 451-463.

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Well, I'm not entirely sure what defines an "intrusive thought" here. I know they can be spontaneous ideas, visuals or/and feelings that are obsessive, compulsive, irrational, and exist to the near exclusion of all other thoughts.

 

What you describe sounds like the obsessive rumination experienced by people who suffer unrestrained anxiety. In that case, I feel like I can really relate.

 

Anxiety is an indicator that I lack trust in myself to handle a situation, and/or I'm that I need to focus on personal upkeep like diet and exercise. As a result, I'm more inclined to curiously accept and question, rather than fear, the unpleasant debris that blows through my mind.

 

In fact, I'm currently in the throes of both situational and organic anxiety, but I'm better equipped to cope than I used to be. I have my old tulpa to thank. He taught me the virtues and techniques of mindfulness and mettā meditation in answer to my soul-rendingly miserable states of panic and anxiety. But it wasn't easy, especially at the beginning of our 'friendship'. I often distrusted his non-corporal state as much as his intent, and I feared for my sanity.

 

His reaction to my fear was consistent: He would become frustrated when I didn't take his advice, and the times I allowed myself to be consumed by negativity, he would leave. In his absence, I was forced to reconsider my perspective.

 

Allegedly, that first tulpa vacated several times in an attempt to preserve himself. Pervasive, fear-based reactions and mentalities were like his Kryptonite, and my attachments to negative mindsets and associations invited further destruction that threatened to exile him from my psyche. He also just didn't care to promote any unnecessary fear or hostility.

 

I think the best example I have of my tulpa's reaction to unwarranted fear-based behaviour was from a dream I had in January, 2012 I'll spare the details, but suffice it to say the dream presented a thinly veiled metaphor illustrating the effects of unfounded anxiety and paranoia. The message was clear: Fear begets fear and attracts destruction.

 

My tulpa's base personality was unaffected by my unconscious and conscious fears about his nature or motives, but not everyone has the same experience. Bottom line: If you don't feel prepared to deal with a negative outcome, you might want to consider stepping back and tending to your anxiety first. Go easy on yourself. You can always conjure a thoughtform later.

[KarlYoshimura]

So if I have an "attachment" to my anxiety, my tulpa is going to take cues from it?

 

I do recognise her as a sentient being, a person, yet I'm confused as to how the completion of her personality phase would affect this independence, or rather, how this permission to free reign would affect what personality I programmed her with. I haven't noticed any deviations, yet the experience is certainly different from my expectations.

 

As for the classification of my anxiety, rumination appears more accurate. There are times when it's like a maelstrom that just sweeps up anything and everything good in my mind and at the least distracts me to the point of where I must physically pause and consider some mental device to snap me out of the mindset. It gets so bad, immediately after I imagine scenes where I'm destroyed in rather brutal and definite ways, as it's one of the few things that can snap me out of the other thoughts and provide some twisted sense of closure. Sometimes, like now, it makes me feel like I don't even care anymore. And that's just the worst.

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So if I have an "attachment" to my anxiety, my tulpa is going to take cues from it?

 

That I wouldn't know. There's no foolproof way to predict the outcome. Depending on your desires and her perceived personality, she may coddle you, become despondent, express confusion, or go on a lengthy hiatus.

 

Forging sentient thoughtforms is, at its most reliable, trial and error. You can start implementing a meditation routine with focus on letting go in the meantime, just to help reduce your stress levels. If anything, recruit your burgeoning mind-person as your official meditation partner. After all, super heroes that pray together, stay together.

 

Oh wait, no. That's Orgazmo.

[KarlYoshimura]

The unknown in regard to tulpas is so difficult to approach, let alone explore. My anxiety and inability to discern my tulpa speaking from disturbing notions pose many challenges. At times, I can't tell if these are the birthing pangs of a new life in one's mind or the slow and inevitable descent into madness.

 

I'll try to meditate and "let go", as physically impossible as both appear with my current mindset.

 

I don't have any good expectations regarding this mess of events, but I thank you nonetheless.

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I'll try to meditate and "let go", as physically impossible as both appear with my current mindset.

 

Unfortunately, mastering the ability to let go is not always achieved over night. It's a process that took me several months of meditation, and I'm still working to adjust my technique. It's definitely a journey, not a destination -- one that is totally worth it, in my opinion.

 

My anxiety and inability to discern my tulpa speaking from disturbing notions pose many challenges.

 

Yeah, I've had a similar issue. My advice is to not focus on the mind-voice, but to observe or sense your thoughtform's mannerisms. You can try to instruct her to let you know when what you heard was translated incorrectly or corrupted in some way.

 

My tulpa taught me early on to confirm whether or not my interpretation of his vocal communication was correct. In the beginning, he would interject every time I erroneously attributed certain thoughts to him. His methods included 'hand signals,' glares, 'slaps,' or other nonverbal cues in addition to short utterances ("No,""Stop," "That wasn't me," "Shhh," "That's not what I said," etc.).

 

At times, I can't tell if these are the birthing pangs of a new life in one's mind or the slow and inevitable descent into madness.

 

I'd say there's "a fine line" between those distinctions, but I'm more inclined to believe there isn't a line at all. Tulpa creation requires profound dissociation, even hallucination. To be honest, I caution anyone who feels self destructive, and hasn't practiced meditation, or gained a considerably vast amount of self awareness, against fragmenting their psyches until they feel completely ready. That's just the safer option.

 

I feel like I was fortunate. "Stupid luck," maybe. My tulpa was the result of a semi-involuntary experience that predated this board by about a decade. I knew I was stepping beyond the threshold of sanity, but I chose to engage anyway. The whole affair became so unnerving I tried to expunge it on several occasions, only to have it reinstated through a circuitous and serendipitous chain of events.

 

But in the end I learned a great deal, not despite the conflict, but because of it. I'm now convinced that growth is not without pain, and enlightenment can't exist without suffering.

[KarlYoshimura]

How in the Hell do I even accomplish a type of meditative technique? Because when I just sit there with my eyes closed, it feels like my brain is trying to disconnect itself from my body so it can sputter into oblivion.

 

It'd be nice to talk these things out with my tulpa and use instruction, but now I can't even communicate with her. It's like she's gone.

 

Also, what do you mean by "gained a considerably vast amount of self awareness" ?

[Linkzelda]

She may be referring to augmenting development of metacognition, or better yet, where one is aware of their own mental processes, however, I could be wrong.

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How in the Hell do I even accomplish a type of meditative technique?

 

About the only thing I can suggest is researching various meditation guides, either online or in hardcopy book form. Depending on your location, you may be able to find affordable taoist, dharma or transcendental classes that offer immediate and personal instruction.

 

I don't believe there's a one-size-fits all approach to meditation. The best you can do is shop around and modify the techniques to suit your particular needs.

 

In addition to meditation, learning to put cognitive behavioral therapy methods into practice would help you cope with anxiety. There should be resources online, but if not, you could probably source some adequate books at a library.

 

Because when I just sit there with my eyes closed, it feels like my brain is trying to disconnect itself from my body so it can sputter into oblivion.

 

Well, I obviously can't know what you're experiencing, but your description is hilariously similar to the state I enter if my meditation has been successful. I'm not suggesting that's what's happening to you, though.

 

For me, it's like a static loss of self, and a reintegration with a vast something that may at first blush seem like nothing. But, like your experience, it's impossible to accurately convey through language (despite myriad attempts by every culture throughout history.)

 

Also, what do you mean by "gained a considerably vast amount of self awareness" ?

 

That's also difficult for me to define, but in simple terms, I mean "self awareness" to be the subjective experience of knowing how you feel, relate, and act in many situations, and the ability to reliably predict and direct your emotions, decisions and behavior thus. It's basically adaptability through knowledge (and its application).

 

She may be referring to augmenting development of metacognition, or better yet, where one is aware of their own mental processes, however, I could be wrong.

 

Yes! Definitely. In so many words, I guess.