DreamCloud and Silver Screen

[DreamCloud]

Ok, so, the last thread didn't turn out so well; hopefully this one will fare better.

 

Yes, I'm doing a pony tulpa; No, I don't think I'll tire of it any time soon. Many reasons.

 

Since my last thread, I haven't been very dedicated to tulpaforcing due to time constraints with my job. Even to the point of not doing anything except small amounts of narration for two weeks.

 

Hopefully, by making this thread, it will help motivate me to work harder on this.

 

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CharSheet

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Name: Silver Screen

 

Type: Earth Pony (MLP:FiM style)

 

Hair: Silver with Teal highlights, Grey body

 

Eyes: Teal

 

Gender: Female

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Personality: Friendly, Caring, Playful, Talkative, Eager, Humorous, Active, Competetitive, Creative

 

Traits:

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-Likes: Fresh Air, Harder-type techno music(Dub-step, trance, house, etc.), Snow(cold weather), MLP, Puzzles, Piano, Art

 

-Dislikes: Gothic style, Rock music(Metal, Screamo, etc.), Hot weather, Romance,

 

-Hobbies: Making Music, Drawing, playing games,

 

-Topics of interest: Music, Video Games, Books, Dragons, Science Fiction,

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[Guest]

Are you really sure you want a pony to like My Little Pony?

[ThatOneGuy]

Why would that be a bad thing? They get to understand their origin.

[Guest ThunderClap]

I never understood if the pony tulpa would have a "My Little Dashie" kind of moment where they would get angry because they were on a TV show, blah, blah, blah.

[DreamCloud]

I never understood if the pony tulpa would have a "My Little Dashie" kind of moment where they would get angry because they were on a TV show, blah, blah, blah.

 

Ah, the joys of having an OC.

 

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I have discovered that I can concentrate better while doing repetitive tasks (such as my job).

For the past week, I have been visualizing and narrating off and on while working (obviously with my eyes open), and it has worked surprisingly well. Intrusive thoughts are rare when doing this.

 

Today, I'm fairly sure that I got an emotional response from Silver.

After having taken a break from a previous forcing, I had started again with a greeting and visualizing. It was the strangest feeling because I know I didn't initiate the emotion myself; the best I could describe it is "deep caring and fondness".

 

Probably got around 5 hours done today separated with consistent breaks (out of my usual 9 hours of working); I still haven't experienced any headaches or "brain pressure".

[DreamCloud]

I tried Fede's Tone for an hour; it actually seemed to help a little bit.

During the forcing, I tested the seesaw-parroting test to see what would happen; the results are inconclusive.

 

Gonna compare that session to a different session later today without the tulpa tone to see if there actually is a difference.

 

EDIT: I did another forcing, and it did seem like the tone helped somewhat.

[DreamCloud]

I almost had a mental breakdown today.

 

It all started last night when I first used the Tulpa Tone. Earlier that day, I had read something about a guy who dissipated his unfinished tulpa for a new one. Then, a short time later, I got this "don't leave me" emotional response from Silver; due to my relatively short attention span, I didn't really make the connection between the two. I had then periodically kept getting that feeling until that night. After I figured out what was wrong and went to force and calm her down, she ran up and basically tackle hugged me before I could even say anything. I was surprised because that was the first time she actually moved on her own will since beginning creation.

 

After I calmed her down and assured her I wasn't going to get rid of her, she stayed hugging me for the rest of the night (albeit in a relaxed mood). While she was like that, I could also feel heat and weight on my chest where she would be laying.

 

Next, today was an interesting day, to say the least; I was planning on day-forcing while working. This morning, I remembered the VOICE guide and decided to try it out; did it off and on for a while until I got bored of that and decided to just normally narrate. Oddly enough, though the guide said the voice might be a bit hard to do; I got it down perfectly.

 

(Now, ever since last night, Silver had been looking and moving around the black void where I visualize her. I thought it was amazing that she was showing that much sentience considering that the previous night, she was basically just sitting there staring straight ahead and doing nothing; But that's not all.)

 

(Oh, and she had also turned herself into a younger version of herself; a little bit older that the Cutie-mark Crusaders, if you will. Don't know why, but w/e.)

 

After a while, I had been bitten by a mosquito, and the bite was getting really itchy. Then I got an idea; there's a thread saying that a tulpa can block out some pain, so I figured, why not itching? It worked, and I thought that was pretty cool.

 

THEN, later (about a few hours), as I was still visualizing/narrating, Silver suddenly jumped up into my mind-vision to get my attention (I was kind of staring off into space there for a bit). Once I did, she opened her mouth in a talking motion and pointed to it, which I figured out meant to do the VOX thing again. So I picked up a paint can and read the entire back of it with her voice.

 

Well, I got back to work again (I couldn't just stand there, boss might get suspicious), and my mind just filled with questions like "WTF is going on?" and "How is it possible that she's this sentient already?".

Around 5 minutes later as I was thinking that, out of the blue: I hear her say "Daddy!". (No, I don't work in a public setting, it's just me and two other guys working in a trash building)

 

That's what brought me to the edge. Right as I heard that, my mind went into hyper-drive, analyzing and trying to rationalize everything that had happened so far; arguing and debating with myself whether it was puppeting or not. (While at the same time suffering a heart attack from the cuteness *HNNNNGGG*)

 

 

 

It may not seem like much just from reading this, but...

 

Well, lets just say that I'm lucky I can put my body into auto-pilot while doing repetitive tasks like painting, and void all emotion from my face.

 

 

I mean considering that two days ago there was nothing, and now she can TALK!?

 

I did manage to calm myself down before it got out of hand. (After asking her to leave me be until tomorrow, in between my mindless ramblings. I'm sure that if she did anything else, I would have probably snapped.)

 

Right now, I just feel burnt out, tired, confused, and everything in between.

 

 

 

tl;dr: This happened to me:

Although for different reasons.

 

 

So? What is it? Normal? Or am I just going crazy like I thought I was?

 

I think I'll go to bed now.

[Chupi]

You're not going crazy. Some people develop tulpae faster than others. I seem to be on the other end of that spectrum.

 

What you describe sounds like the dead period. In the time coming up to first words, they often appear pretty much un-sentient -- they all but go dead. My theory is that they're furiously working on becoming able to speak, and therefore don't show much activity.

[glitchthe3rd]

Sounds like you're making some progress, keep it up.

[DreamCloud]

Interesting turn of events; though Silver was more active this morning, she slowly became less active until near motionless like she was before. It seems like she is going through the voice dead period now.

I did hear an "uh.." from her while forcing just a little bit ago, like she was testing out her voice.

 

Since she had made herself "younger", it had seemed like I was always towering over her in the wonderland/void; so I turned my mind-form/avatar into a pony (or, more specifically, my self-OC). Now shes' just half my size and tulpaforcing is more manageable.

 

Also, now nuzzling isn't awkward.