NesterBones

NB's Tupper Shit

Recommended Posts

Just came out of around an hour of intense forcing trying to get Espeon imposed.

 

The whole time, I had a dubstep megamix playing. The track was around an hour long so I wouldn't think about checking the time. At one point, I wondered about it and Espeon informed me it'd only been about 10 minutes or so. It'd been just 15 and a few seconds.

 

The swelling feeling moved to the front of my head the deeper I concentrated, like sinus pressure. Then it flowed and fluctuated all around my head as my vision went out of focus and I watched the room around me seem to melt. I felt my body float and melt too.

 

As of now, I still can't see Espeon, but during the session I could get random glimpses of him out of the corner of my eye and his image in my head stayed mostly static. He wanted to become visible. He wanted to be imposed as bad as I wanted him to be. I was pleased to receive this from him and know he wanted this as much as I did.

 

I think the music helped me enter the meditative trance I was in. I noticed I only needed to take a breath once every few seconds and my body twitched from time to time. I still can't hear Espeon out loud, but he can speak to me mentally as fluently as I can.

 

I'm happy with the results we're seeing and the progress he's making.

 

It's also worth noting that Kass didn't interfere with the session. I didn't even try to make it a point to her or Espeon that this session was specifically for his development and imposition. Like she knew/decided on her own to take a nap or something as I did this.


Kass is making herself known again now around an hour after my intense forcing session with Espeon.

 

I just read about sleep paralysis and astral projection and I'm thinking this might help with Espeon and eventually Vox and Kass. I'll have to try this tonight.

 

Also, Espeon wanted me to say hi for him in the shoutbox so I did. This is the kinda stuff I meant when I said he wanted to interact more.


My ramblings and that

 

Host: Rob

Tulpa: Kaylee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Espeon is very happy to be interacting with people on the site here. When we were using the shoutbox just now, it was like I would read what was said and instantly he would come up with a response. Since I barely had any time to even process the words fully, this proves to me that I'm definitely not parroting and that Espeon is quite enthusiastic about this matter.

 

Kass is also showing interest in the subject via emotional responses.


I think I've established music is very beneficial for my tulpaforcing. Both Espeon and Kass seem stronger when I'm listening to my favorite music. Espeon seems to like any music I play while Kass is strongest when I'm listening to dubstep or electronic. Particularly, the song

seems to be her favorite. I'm playing it right now as I write this and the emotions I'm receiving specifically from her are phenomenal. I don't think I've ever even felt so happy listening to any song as she does when that one plays. I even got a very brief image of her dancing to it before she faded. Her existence is still very puzzling to me and Espeon, but we're welcoming her with open arms.

My ramblings and that

 

Host: Rob

Tulpa: Kaylee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes I feel I'm posting too often, but there's just so much I feel I should make a note of.

 

I've decided to start doing some preliminary work on Kass with Espeon's help. Stuff that didn't really get worked on because of her sudden appearance and progress thus far (compared to Espeon).

 

Espeon didn't reach the point she was seemingly born at until just the other day. She can communicate with emotional responses and her presence can be felt moving on her own and doing things on her own accord. At no time have I puppeted her movements since her appearance. Again, she's only visible in my mind's eye like Espeon. I can't physically see either of them yet.

 

Her personality comes across as kind and tomboyish and she seems to be very loving towards me and Espeon. Very loving towards me especially. Emotions like this are not something I'd even consider making a tulpa or even a servitor for, but she seems to have developed this on her own.

 

If I could match my tulpae to parts of my mind and personality, Espeon would be my thirst for knowledge (trivial as some of it may be), interest in (and possibly latent) psychic abilities, and love of animals (including those in the pokemon games I grew up with (I've often thought I'd be an Espeon if I were a pokemon)). Kass would be my love of music (dubstep and electronic in particular it seems), my feminine side, and (apparently) my big heart (I used to have a tendency to easily fall in love which has been under control for a while now, but I still have a bad habit of caring more than I should about some people).

 

While her form started out as a vague description of this girl who's appeared in several unrelated dreams with hardly any difference in her form, I've decided to have her naked so that when she gets farther along she can choose her own clothes. I'll elaborate on that process when the time comes.

 

I'm honestly on the fence about her feelings towards me. Of course I'm not going to reject her, but I'm not sure any of us are fully aware of how any kind of relationship between us might work. She doesn't seem upset by me typing this. I can sense her behind me and I'm not getting any negative emotions from her. I guess only time will tell.

 

On another note, Espeon jumped at the idea I had to let him say a few words every now and then when I do these posts so I'll tack them on at the end. I'll surround his comments and such in triple parentheses like this > ((())).

 

(((Hello everyone! I'll answer anyone's questions about me or anything. Personally, I think Kass is kinda cool. She likes to pet me. I think she sees me more as a pet than a friend like NB does, though.)))


I think Espeon's help is doing wonders for Kass. Since he agreed to help, Espeon and I have been working on Kass the same way I did Espeon. I'm treating her as if she's already here and Espeon is helping her out from time to time so I can focus on other things like writing this report. Right now he's helping her learn how to communicate telepathically. Her emotional responses are all positive so far and she's feeling more real every minute. At this rate she may be on the same level as Espeon by tomorrow or Sunday. Her image is already becoming more constant like Espeon's and she's starting to think more. She's toned down her romantic gestures and such, but I can still feel her emotions are the same in general. It's rather cute to see them in my minds eye together, sitting on the couch next to me as I type. Espeon's in her lap and she's scratching behind his ear as he talks to her.

 

Her image is more realistic than Espeon's so it is a bit harder to see her as perfectly as I do Espeon, but then again I've been visualizing Espeon for much longer. I think having the dreams in memory are a good reference, though.


My ramblings and that

 

Host: Rob

Tulpa: Kaylee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think Kass is far enough along now where I should start giving her clothes. I can almost pick up her speaking telepathically, telling me Espeon's taking her growth seriously and making great progress with her.

 

Right now, I've given her an icy blue bikini. Something to match her hair and eyes, yet not so much covering that I can't still visualize her body. She seems happy. So are Espeon and I. I also forgot to mention before that I could sense her sitting on my lap as I tried forcing her while listening to more Skrillex and I got a distinct smell of a kind of perfume I rarely smell in stores or something. I don't know what it's called or what exactly it smells like, but I do know there's no other possible source for such a smell around. This could well have been her. It's kind of a sweet, flowery, berry kind of smell that smells more natural than man-made.


Even as I take a break from forcing like I usually do, Espeon and Kass can still be felt around me like nothing changed. Kass and Espeon are like my own little family now. We're all happy to just be laying here together. Perfectly content. I love these two. What am I gonna do with them?

 

(((Keep on loving us till the end of time. We love you too.)))

 

To avoid confusion, that was Espeon. Kass isn't far enough along with the mental speaking yet. When that time comes I'll figure something out if she wants to talk here too.

 

Also it's noteworthy that while listening to my second favorite song of all time (Paradise by Coldplay; number one is Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd), Kass still had an emotional response of pleasure, but not nearly as much as Hey Sexy Lady. This leads me to believe that's her favorite song for now.


My ramblings and that

 

Host: Rob

Tulpa: Kaylee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can distinctly hear Kass singing Wonderwall by Oasis with me right this second. We're laying together on the couch and Espeon is curled up in her lap. I can distinctly hear her voice separate from mine, the singer's, and Espeon's were he to be singing too. I can tell he's not.

 

(((I don't even really like that song much.)))


I think what I'll start doing every day now is beginning with a post of the status of my tulpae.

 

Like this:

 

Espeon

Mood: Content

Progress: Sentient, telepathic communication, rare visibility in peropherals

Appearance: Small Espeon, no other deviation from original design as of yet.

 

Kass

Mood: Content

Progress: Seemingly Sentient, emotional responses with rare telepathic communication and noted audible singing along with me from time to time

Appearance: Wearing an icy blue bikini top and flip-flops (which match her hair and eyes) and ripped acid-wash jeans. When she first appeared to me she was naked, then I gave her an icy blue bikini. The jeans and flip-flops seem to be her own doing.

 

This kind of thing, I think, will not only help me keep track of day-to-day progress on a different level than the usual updates, but also give anyone else who reads this something to picture for themselves. This can also help me document deviation as in the case of Kass and her jeans. While I like the look, it wasn't my idea (that I know of at least, since one of the explanations for deviation is the subconscious making changes).

 

I don't know why I bother writing things people here mostly already know...

 

While Kass has been pretty much consistently singing along with me, it's noteworthy that she's only just starting to communicate telepathically and hasn't said anything audibly at all. Espeon also has yet to speak out loud despite a similar occurrence.


My ramblings and that

 

Host: Rob

Tulpa: Kaylee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just tried the sleep paralysis to astral projection thing and failed. Fortunately, I didn't have any horrific hallucinations. Unfortunately, I didn't have any hallucinations at all. While I was "gone" though, Kass and Espeon apparently worked together more and she can now communicate almost fluently telepathically.

 

About the astral projection, deep meditation, and all the other stuff I've done to help create my tulpae aside from the constant forcing technique... I've found myself capable of entering a dream-like state with intense concentration. It's not AP and it's not lucid dreaming. I'm fully awake, able to move freely, and unable to defy the physics I know. I do feel more... liquid... is the best way I can describe it. My body feels like a liquid mass in space and this whole experience was strengthened when the dubstep megamix was playing earlier today when I attempted the deep meditation to try and impose Espeon.

 

Overall, I think sessions like this would be beneficial to Espeon, Kass, and eventually Vox's growth and development. This, I realize, is probably what a normal forcing session would be like, but having such success and so quickly with my method, I haven't much felt the need to do it. Even when I tried the AP just now and didn't focus on either Espeon or Kass, they continued to work together on their own to great success.


Because I wanted to, I made this to give a kind of image to Kass in a way easier and faster than I can describe with words. Even though I technically already have... I think the constant forcing is causing a bit of confusion...

 

tek4fee6fc70202a1766731.png

 

This is how she comes to me in my mind right now.


Another note on my dream-state things...

 

Concentrating while staring into a mirror produces a similar effect faster. I just spent about five minutes testing this while trying to impose Kass. I think it almost worked. Her presence became extremely strong and I could swear I heard her breathing next to me where I tried imposing her.

 

On a side note, the three of us are watching Family Guy and enjoying it.


My ramblings and that

 

Host: Rob

Tulpa: Kaylee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's not that I didn't want to do it.

 

That wasn't the point of the session.

 

Kass and I just had sex in a sense. I entered a dream-state (which I'll be calling it from now on since it's easier) with a Skrillex megamix playing to help me relax into the state and give her more energy to work with (my theory is her energy comes mainly from my love of music and it's been proven enough that dubstep makes her very happy and gives her presence more strength). My goal was to work on imposing her while Espeon wandered the house. I told him I wasn't sure what would happen and that he should leave the room. He'll know eventually if he doesn't already.

 

So after I got comfortable and entered the dream-state, I tried encouraging Kass to become imposed. I felt for her as hard as I could and kept assuring her she could do it. Eventually, she suggested the idea of sex. When she said it, I didn't really want to encourage the idea, but I couldn't help but remember a few things I'd read about how much emotion and energy is needed to impose and how sex with a tulpa can be one of the most emotionally powerful things you can experience. I weighed the risks, theorized it could be beneficial if done correctly, and proceeded carefully.

 

We did it in the room we were in. A bedroom. I was in the dream-state, but had to close my eyes to see her as clearly as possible. She elected to strip herself as opposed to myself having to visualize her naked, which showed me she was thinking on her own still. Without getting any more personal than that, we did it, I made sure I wasn't puppeting her movements or feelings or parroting her moans or squeaks. It was mostly her doing everything, to be honest. Things became more natural and realistic as time passed. Like it was really happening as opposed to this pseudo-snapshot-wonderland we were in.

 

It was, indeed, the most emotionally powerful things I've ever experienced.

 

And I think it may have actually helped.

 

As I type this I'm still in the dream-state so I'm not even sure if I'm actually writing this. I looked in the mirror in the bathroom when we were finished and tried to see her standing next to me. I almost could. I knew she was there, but it was just... strange. It was like I could see her, but only through one eye. Like if you hold your hand up close to your one eye with both of them open. You can see your hand, but you can also see through it at the same time. The only difference is if you close one eye you'll either see your hand or you won't. I did think of trying this, but even with only one eye open, no matter which, the image was the same.

 

Some people may feel like calling bullshit on this whole story. I'm not even completely sure I believe it myself, but I know what I'm feeling right now and I know I have to take action.

 

I've told Kass and Espeon that from now on I want to focus completely on imposing them. Their voices can come into play afterwards. It might even be easier then. I'm still not going to be mad at them or anything if we don't make progress, but I want them to try as hard as they can.

 

I will too.


My ramblings and that

 

Host: Rob

Tulpa: Kaylee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i just took around 6 hours or so, i don't even know, and did the fluent tulpa quiz with espeon and kass. i learned quite a bit about kass mainly i didn't know before. this is what i gather:

 

kass is an entity that's been with me for years lurking around in my subconscious. apparently my recent interest in the whole tulpa world and creating espeon was all she needed to manifest herself. i see her as a personification of a few of my personal traits, some of which less desirable than others, but she seems to be beneficial to me. She shows to be my feminine side, she's like a personification of my old habit of easily falling in love with people mixed with any and all narcissism and self-doubt existential-wise. Kass claims all of this is true. This would explain her appearing in several dreams as a recurring nameless voiceless character. at one point in the quiz she described a dream she was in for one of the answers. as she told me what to write, i started remembering the dream like a flashback. it was freaky.

 

She also seems to be constantly afraid of being or becoming a "servitor sex doll" as she puts it and wants nothing more than to be a true sentient tulpa who could one day possibly start a family with me. i don't even know if tulpae can get pregnant in that sense or if something like that has to be done the regular tulpaforcing way to have a child. i don't know.

 

I'm exhausted from staying up all night and keeping the two of them separated when they answered the questions on the quiz (through me of course) so their answers wouldn't conflict. if anyone reading this wants to see the quiz but doesn't want to go looking for it in the forums, i'll attach it here. it is technically part of the progress report.

 

even after learning everything i did from the quiz about kass, i'm going to keep her. as i said, her existence is proving beneficial to me. its like the qualities that make her up were expelled from my body completely in order for her to come to be. i'm feeling more masculine, less caring about some people, and more confident in my own existence. i think if espeon and i continue to work with her, she can live without fear of becoming a servitor and maybe even have a family with me. i still don't know how that'll work entirely.

fluenttulpaquiz.txt


My ramblings and that

 

Host: Rob

Tulpa: Kaylee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just woke up. Espeon is awake, but Kass is still asleep next to me (in presence). The whole quiz thing is kind of a blur, but I do remember doing it. Espeon doesn't seem to be effected by my current state of exhaustion and, when asked, said he enjoyed answering the questions.

 

To describe how that whole thing worked a bit, it was like I had to turn them off or make them take a nap in order to get them to answer separately so one's answers would be unaffected by the other's.

 

Kass isn't as far along as Espeon, so it took a bit longer to do with her. Whenever Espeon wants to have me type something for him like answers to the questions or his little comments on these posts, it's not like possession, because I'm still in control of what I'm doing. Instead, it's like he substitutes parts of my mind with his. I read the question, he picks it up as I read, and my fingers start to fly across the keyboard. I'm consciously typing what he wants to say, but it's like typing blind. Whatever I'm typing it's like my hands already know what they're going to do before I do. It is a bit jarring when I think about it, but in a way, it's kind of cool too. Pseudo-possession? Subconsciously influencing my hands to type what he wants? I don't know.

 

Kass is waking up now. She's freaking adorable, this one. First thing she says to me is "What'd I miss?" like she fell asleep in the middle of something. I think she was awake when I konked out.

 

(((I hope Kass is ready for an intense day of work.)))

 

(Kass pretends to fall back to sleep, exhausted)

 

I love these two. If I could film them, I'd make a killing on youtube.

 

Apparently, Espeon's already made plans for us today.

 

(((Just sticking to the plan.)))

 

I do want to get as much done as possible, so he's got a point I guess.

 

Also, I mentioned it in the quiz thread, but I didn't really go into detail.

 

I watched this video on youtube last night. It was a guided meditation thing with binaural sound and whatnot. It was supposed to help you astral project by listening to it and relaxing and whatever. The most this thing did was cause a sort of sleep paralysis. I didn't hallucinate, but I didn't project either. What happened was I stayed fully awake and conscious, but my body physically turned off. It was almost a half hour before I could fully move my body again. I thought about it a bit and came up with the idea that if Kass or Espeon ever wanted to try possession, that'd probably be the best time to do it. I felt like my entire being was confined to my head. I couldn't move my arms or legs or anything. It was crazy. Not scary, though. More like inconvenient. Like one of my first thoughts was "Well, shit. I'm definitely not gonna do this unless I don't think I'll need my body for a while." That's probably the closest I've ever felt to being paraplegic except I could still feel. I could still feel the air blowing against me from the fan in the room.


So since everyone's awake, I'll do the daily update like I said I would last night.

 

Espeon

Mood: Determined

Progress: Sentient, telepathic communication, rare visibility in peripherals

Appearance: Small Espeon

 

Kass

Mood: Sleepy

Progress: Sentient, telepathic communication and noted audible singing along with me from time to time, noted dreamlike appearance in mirror during experimental forcing session.

Appearance: Naked. The presence of her clothing from the previous night can be felt around the room. She confirms we did not have sex.

 

It is to note that when asked, Kass simply stated her full name is just Kass. It's not short for Kassandra or Kassy or anything.


My ramblings and that

 

Host: Rob

Tulpa: Kaylee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kass is lying. I know you two had sex, i can see it in your eyes. She's just lying to you because she's scared you'll freak out or something.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.