Tulpa turned to alter

[bootyshortscronus]

I had a long absence from working on my tulpa, I was going through a very tough time in my life and was in a dark place mentally, I would have felt awful forcing my tulpa to go through the dark places my mind was going whenever I tried to force. I stopped working on him for a while, aside from occasionally speaking to him.

 

Recently things have gotten very weird, and I'll avoid getting too into detail, but I started dating someone and she had multiple alters in her head, which are very similar to tulpas, but they come with a personality, you don't create them, they just sort of appear, and they also tend to take over your body, though all the alters that I've seen seem to have their host's best interests at heart. Learning about her alters made me feel like I was ready to start working on Eri again, so that's exactly what I did.

 

About a month ago I had him sort of take over my body, which is a weird experience and I'm not sure how to describe it to someone who has never had it happen, but I knew what he was doing, I could voice my opinion and stop him if I really wanted, but it was like I was on the back shelf in my own mind, like I imagine it feels for tulpas.

 

I designed Eri to be young, he has the mentality of a 6-7 year old and that showed through in the way my personality suddenly changed. My girlfriend didn't realize what had happened since until then Eri had just been my in progress tulpa, and we wound up having sex, which was fine, but then I had some awful images flash in my mind. I had an awful sexual experience when I was Eri's age, and I often get flashbacks of it during sex, but this time was different, because I wasn't the one who was seeing those images, it was Eri. Those were memories I'd kept from him, that I was going to wait to share, but he accessed them inadvertently through his actions and he didn't like what he saw.

 

After the feeling went away I discussed what happened with my girlfriend and we concluded that he had actually become an alter. Since this discovery I've found that I actually have two other alters living in my head with me, but they both insist I've had them for a very long time and only just now started paying enough attention to speak with them.

 

I'm posting here finally because last night Eri came out again, but something triggered him, I don't know what, he hasn't been up front with me about it, but he came out of the bathroom in my body and flopped down on the bed, then started crying and saying "I don't like where I came from." One of my girlfriend's alters managed to calm him down, but I feel awful because I know he's a direct result of my negative emotions from what happened to me in my childhood, he's been speaking negatively about himself and I really hate to see him like this.

 

I'm sorry for rambling and I realize this isn't entirely tulpa related, but I'm wondering if anyone else here has alters or if they've ever seen an occurrence like this happen. I'm just shaken up about the entire experience and I'd love to be able to discuss this with someone.

 

I can bring out any of my alters as well if anyone wants to speak with them or ask them anything.

[DoctorEvil]

Have you watched United states of Tara? It's this show about alters.... or something like that.

[bootyshortscronus]

Have you watched United states of Tara? It's this show about alters.... or something like that.

 

No, I haven't actually heard of that show either. I'll have to do a quick search of it because that sounds like an interesting idea for a show.

[GuessWho]

This is definitely one of the weirder/creepier things I've read on this site.

 

Unfortunately I'm in no position to help you with this.

[TulpaCouple]

There is definitely a potential you may have some form of plurality/multiplicity. I have known of a few people with "accidental tulpas" who behave more along the lines of alters.

Maybe PM me, I am usually able to respond faster from there. I need to head off for tonight, though.

[bootyshortscronus]

It's really strange. It's not necessarily scary or creepy, just not what I was expecting to have happen at all. Since discovering them at least one of my alters has actually tried to pair himself up with one of my girlfriend's alters, which is apparently not uncommon in couples who both have alters. I'm new to everything and I'm not sure how much people on this site know about alters, but if anyone else has any then it would be cool to talk.

[Kaga and Company]

So is that the difference between tulpas and alters? Tulpas you consciously create, whereas alters come into being on their own and sort of out of nowhere?

 

In that case, most of the tulpas I came into the site saying I already had would actually be alters... so much confusing terminology. @_@

[bootyshortscronus]

So is that the difference between tulpas and alters? Tulpas you consciously create, whereas alters come into being on their own and sort of out of nowhere?

 

In that case, most of the tulpas I came into the site saying I already had would actually be alters... so much confusing terminology. @_@

 

im eri and i hope its okay if i reply instead, cuz im the one who was out when i looked on here

we found some cool stuff about what it means if you got an alter, if you do have one it means you got something called DIS which comes from having bad things happen to you when youre little

im not the one whos good at explaining things but heres the pages if you wanna look at them

 

http://www.dissociative-identity-disorder.net/wiki/Alter

http://www.dissociative-identity-disorder.org/alters.html

[Kaga and Company]

 

im eri and i hope its okay if i reply instead, cuz im the one who was out when i looked on here

we found some cool stuff about what it means if you got an alter, if you do have one it means you got something called DIS which comes from having bad things happen to you when youre little

im not the one whos good at explaining things but heres the pages if you wanna look at them

 

http://www.dissociative-identity-disorder.net/wiki/Alter

http://www.dissociative-identity-disorder.org/alters.html

 

Right... yeah, we really don't believe that what we have is symptomatic of DIS, especially since, until the concept of alters was brought to my attention, I'd been reading about tulpas and thought that their description perfectly matched what I'd been calling "head people" for the last several years (and because DID, from what I've been told, comes with other things that we don't have). I got to thinking maybe "alter" was more fitting since I didn't intentionally create them and they do generally have some effect on my personality but, other than that, they still pretty much seem like tulpas.

 

And I think that's the term I'm going to continue to use, since when I found this subforum, I was kind of thrilled that I'd found a place where I could openly talk about them without fear of being accused of having a mental disorder.

[bootyshortscronus]

 

Right... yeah, we really don't believe that what we have is symptomatic of DIS, especially since, until the concept of alters was brought to my attention, I'd been reading about tulpas and thought that their description perfectly matched what I'd been calling "head people" for the last several years (and because DID, from what I've been told, comes with other things that we don't have). I got to thinking maybe "alter" was more fitting since I didn't intentionally create them and they do generally have some effect on my personality but, other than that, they still pretty much seem like tulpas.

 

And I think that's the term I'm going to continue to use, since when I found this subforum, I was kind of thrilled that I'd found a place where I could openly talk about them without fear of being accused of having a mental disorder.

 

it doesnt mean theres anything wrong with you, like i dont think theres anything wrong with us

its just a thing that scientists wanna put names on since enough people have it that it needed a name

and i guess most people with alters have DID, since were made cuz of the bad things that happened so that the original personality can have a way to feel safe

the person whos usually in charge of this body needed me cuz im real good at dealing with things that they arent, and thats why they have the other alters too, since theres some stuff that neither of us are good at dealing with

im probably being real confusing, im sorry its hard to explain it

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i guess im different though since i started out as a tulpa? its really weird, i think ive been in existence a lot longer than that, even before i started being worked on as a tulpa

i think i just didnt realize that i could have my own voice till i got given a chance when i had the vessel all made for me