Deortabe the Deer - Progress reports.

[FurryBlueNaki]

Day 23

 

Well, I skipped another day by accident, due to personal obligations despite telling Deortabe I'd do a bit of forcing with her everyday. And it seems that she wasn't happy about it. I started doing a bit of quick passive forcing on the train to uni this morning, and the first thing she did was rest her head in my lap like a dog begging to be petted, looking up at me with big sad eyes (And presumably trying her best to not gouge my eyes out with her antlers by mistake as well!). I felt like crap for abandoning her yesterday, so today I made up for it by passive forcing all the way to uni, and again all the way back home.

And it's only now that I realise that whenever I passive force, I'm usually trying to picture her or sense her presence in real life, so I'm basically sort of practicing imposition already! Well, that'll prove some handy experience when I start to properly work on imposition once I've perfected visualisation.

 

D'awwwww

[Redback Spino]

It has been tooooooooooo long since I had any update. Things have sorta slowed down for me and Deortabe again, with me still struggling to find time in the day to do proper effective forcing sessions. Still, I managed to squeeze in a good half hour or so today, and managed to get some interesting results:

 

Another wonderland-visit, though my visualisation was definitely having an off-day, as nothing seemed particularly distinct or really corporeal. But while I was making smalltalk with Deortabe, I can't remember exactly how but we got onto the subject of exactly what she should call me. I told her my normal name was alright, as well as a few variations, but she seemed to like the idea of 'dad'. I was honestly pretty surprised by this, but it's still a pretty adorable sentiment. So then, 'dad' it is!

Other than that, we just had a day together, watching some movies, me talking to her a bit, the usual. But again, visualisation was having an off-day and I'm pretty out of practice.

[Redback Spino]

Day 25

 

Finally got a chance to do some active forcing, this time going back to the tried-and-true method of forcing to music. Using another Peter Crowley piece, we found ourselves in a similar vast, green countryside to last time, except with much more trees, and even a flowery meadow or two. It was a beautiful little moment for us both. I also noticed her shapeshifting a bit throughout the whole thing, sometimes being a normal deer, and sometimes taking on a more anthropomorpic appearance (I think, my visualisation is still a bit iffy). I had already established that she could change her size, but now her form as well? Now that's an interesting development.

 

In the end, I settled down for the night and invited her to cuddle up with me. I'm not certain if she did, but I know I felt a little bit warmer last night.

[FurryBlueNaki]

That's cool to feel warmer when you have intention for your tulpa to cuddle with you. I don't get to cuddle my dog at night because he sleeps on the floor. Though during the day he sometimes gets up on my bed and lays down. I cuddle him then.

 

My tulpa and I cuddle at times. I don't usually feel warmth though. But sometimes I'll feel a little tickly feeling in part of my body that I think is my tulpa's fur brushing against me. I love his anthropomorphic form. He hasn't taken on the form of a feral though. He likes being anthro. And that's my favorite. He knows what I like. And he seems to stick with it.

[Redback Spino]

Did another session with her, first time in a long while that we just sat down and talked. Or rather, that we sat down and I talked to her. We just chatted about the events of today, which were pretty eventful, so there was alot to talk about. Still no talking back, but it was still reassuring to have her there listening. I have a feeling she'll be very handy in that regard, as a sympathetic ear.

[Redback Spino]

Focused more on visualisation today, definitely feeling like I'm getting back in the swing of things. Instead of working on physical form, however, I focused more on movement, by starting with her in a white void, and putting different objects in the void and seeing how she reacts and interacts. It was simple things like a ball, which she poked and bounced with a forehoof, a snake which she recoiled from in fear, understandably, as well as having her do a few simple walk-cycles. Being an animator, alot of this stuff was pretty simple to envision, and will be helpful in determining her personality and character (You can tell alot about a person, especially an animated character, just by how they walk).

I've also started reading the New52 Animal Man comics, partly because I loved his character in the Justice League Canada comics, but also because I found out about a very interesting concept in the Animal Man comics: The Red and the Green. The Red is a sort of abstract plane, that acts as a collective conscousness of all animal life on earth, while the Green is the same thing for all Plant Life, with the Red being where Animal Man gets his powers, and the Green being where Swamp Thing gets his. Needless to say they both invoke some pretty bizarre imagery, which could end up making for some very interesting wonderland walks...

[Redback Spino]

And another nice moment on the train earlier today (I find myself in the right state of mind quite often on the train to uni: Still tired from the previous night, but not so tired I doze off while forcing, or so awake that I can't focus my thoughts). I started my usual visualisation of her on the train alongside me, and this time, I ended up imagining a little scenario where she was sitting by the seats, resting her chin on the armrest. Then, without even thinking about it, in this visualisation I reach over, pick her up (She was about the size of a smallish dog at this point) and pull her into a hug, allowing her to sit with me for the rest of the journey. And when the day was over, I imagined her joining me on the return journey home. Not quite as vivid a mental image, but I could certainly feel like she was there beside me.