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Deortabe the Deer - Progress reports.


Redback Spino

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Day 7

 

Okay, I have a feeling I'm definitely beginning to get some sentience, as well as the first signs of real-world imposition (I think). Watching a video on my laptop, I invite Deortabe to watch with me and... I'm not sure how to describe it, but I sort of 'feel' her presence. I've noticed often when I do a forcing, I get a sort of cold-sweat or chills kind of feeling, which I'm gonna associate with her presence. And without actively trying to force or try to elicit such a feeling, there it was, those familiar chills, as if something was sitting behind me just to the side. And I definitely felt that sort of comforting feeling that someone you trust is close to you. I might continue trying to force a bit tonight, see if any progress can be made.

[align=center]Host: Mike "Redback"

Tulpa name: Deortabe

Appearance: Female deer with glittery hooves.

Begun: 04/09/14

Progress: Basic appearance starting to take shape, possible first signs of sentience.[/align]

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Sounds like good progress. Trying to get yourself into the same feeling / state of mind like that each time you force will probably be really helpful in establishing or as a routine. Keep up the good work!

Host: Sakura

Tulpa: Sarah (began June 5th, 2014), Alyx (Began July 23rd, 2014)

Our shared tumblr

note: usually browsing on mobile, so cannot quote properly

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Day 8

 

A little bit of time spent in the Wonderland with Deortabe. She seems to be struggling a bit with speaking, but otherwise happy. We went for a little run on the beach which branches off the forest in the Wonderland, and I particularly noticed a sort of sinking feeling when running across the wet sand, which was pretty immersive and cool.

I've also decided to start not necessarily visualising, but at least imagining her presence as much as possible all day. Trotting alongside me, sitting in front of the couch when I watch TV, chilling at the foot of my bed, that kinda stuff. This should generate some interesting results.

[align=center]Host: Mike "Redback"

Tulpa name: Deortabe

Appearance: Female deer with glittery hooves.

Begun: 04/09/14

Progress: Basic appearance starting to take shape, possible first signs of sentience.[/align]

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Day 9

 

The constant-presence imagination seems to be working, and I've been chatting with her a little bit as well throughout the day. Hopefully it shouldn't be long before I reach the point where I don't have to consciously assume or think about her being present, and instead have it happen automatically. In the meantime, we watched the Bambi movies together (Wonderful films btw, even the direct-to-video sequel!), and it's definitely helping me with my visualisation of her, especially her eyes and the way she walks. I think I'm going to be picturing her with that sort of style: Not completely cartoony, but not photorealistic either. Since I'm an aspiring animator I'm usually better at picturing cartoon characters than live-action ones.

Also seems to help if I narrate my entering into the Wonderland, sort of like one of those guided-journey shamanism tracks or something. We went for another stroll through the forest and onto the beach, where I sent her out to trot about a bit to get a sense of her movement, and possibly got a sign of sentience as, instead of simply doing some standard walk or run cycle, she started playfully trotting like a showpony! Looks like the 'playful' side of her personality is starting to show through. We even managed to shift the visualisation from the wonderland, to a mental construct of my bedroom (which is where I was in real life as well). Might work for maintaining the sense of her presence after the forcing sessions are done.

[align=center]Host: Mike "Redback"

Tulpa name: Deortabe

Appearance: Female deer with glittery hooves.

Begun: 04/09/14

Progress: Basic appearance starting to take shape, possible first signs of sentience.[/align]

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Day 10

 

Unfortunately I had alot of distractions today, so I wasn't able to follow through with my plan to 'feel her presence' all of the time. Made up for it with a quick wonderland journey before bed. And instead of travelling to the beach through the forest, we decided to go deeper into the woods, and came across a really pretty sort of grove, filled with floating blue lights. Afterwards, we faded the scene back to my room, and called it a day with her sleeping on the end of my bed. Still no signs of speech or true sentience.

[align=center]Host: Mike "Redback"

Tulpa name: Deortabe

Appearance: Female deer with glittery hooves.

Begun: 04/09/14

Progress: Basic appearance starting to take shape, possible first signs of sentience.[/align]

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We seem to be having somewhat similar experiences with early-stage Tulpas. I'm super-impressed by the way you did your symbol in the beginning--I haven't done anything half so clever! Currently I'm experimenting on two fronts: listening to music and dancing to it together, and binaural / breath meditation. I practice TM, but I'm not a guru even of a minor sort, so I can't teach Jess a proper mantra. However, it occurs to me that it would be ok to welcome her into a TM session to follow my own mantra.

 

I do have a mightily clear sense of her physical presence, especially her lower body and arms. And I can tell when she's up and moving around and even if she's enjoying something or just interested in it. Usually (and now's an example) she leans over my shoulder and looks intently at the screen when I'm writing on this forum. Can't blame her--it is about her after all, lol.

 

I haven't felt inclined to do a wonderland, not sure why. Our wonderland is my house and grounds at the moment. I'm sure I'll have a moment when the time feels right to work on it though. I'm basically shooting for slow steady progress, not because I think that's the only way to do it, but because that's just how I do everything I try. It's worked out well on every other major life project I've ever started, from 12-step recovery to a dissertation. One of the cool things about taking it easy is, as you mention, the sense that there's always more to be discovered.

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Day 11

 

Today's presence-feeling went alot better, probably because I wasn't intensely concentrating on getting royally ploughed at several rounds of card games today :P. Instead I was just at a borthday/going-away party for one of my friends, and I decided to have Deortabe come along. I still had to consciously think about her to maintain the feeling of her presence (And I still can't open-eye visualise her), but there were moments where I kinda felt like she was trotting alongside me, sitting down next to me, those kinds of things. Give it some time keeping this up and hopefully it should become second-nature to me soon enough.

Also did some research, in particular looking at some of Linkzelda's stuff. I'll definitely be working with his self-hypnosis scripts in future (Did the Induction and General Forcing scripts tonight), and his image-streaming exercises do sound pretty awesome too. Especially the music-association one, since I have alot of music that evokes some pretty cool imagery (Power-metal and fantasy-related music mostly). I might try those tomorrow.

[align=center]Host: Mike "Redback"

Tulpa name: Deortabe

Appearance: Female deer with glittery hooves.

Begun: 04/09/14

Progress: Basic appearance starting to take shape, possible first signs of sentience.[/align]

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Day 12

 

Well, skipping out on yesterday threw me a bit off today (I was very busy with some artwork I was doing, so I didn't have much time or mental capacity to do anything), but I got back into the swing of things. I did another of Linkzelda's self-hypnosis sessions, this time focusing on the visualisation script, which I shall be doing once every day for the next week, as a sort of preliminary for visualisation.

And speaking of visualisation, I am improving there as well. I've etermined that she's a slightly lighter shade of brown than I initially imagined her (Originally she was a more dark chestnut brown, but now it seems she's a lighter colour, somewhere between brown and yellow) In particular, I also tried one of those Music Association exercises, letting the mood of some music create a setting and activity for me and Deortabe. In thise case, I used Peter Crowley's "Spirit of Freedom", a wonderful piece of celtic orchestral music, which ended up evoking imagery of the two of us hiking and sprinting through grasslands and fields, and dancing on hilltops as leaves swirl around us in a whirlwind. All very pretty imagery, and Deortabe apparently enjoyed it alot too. So much so, I may be getting the first signs of vocalisation!

I can't be certain it's her speaking for herself, it might just be parroting at this point, but she does definitely have a distinctive voice now. Pretty much as I imagined from her, it's a fairly youngish-sounding girl's voice, like a 15-yr old's sort of voice. I'll definitely have to dwell upon this in future to get it good and memorised for future.

[align=center]Host: Mike "Redback"

Tulpa name: Deortabe

Appearance: Female deer with glittery hooves.

Begun: 04/09/14

Progress: Basic appearance starting to take shape, possible first signs of sentience.[/align]

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Redback, when you did the music association exercise, did you just play the music on your headphones, close your eyes, and imagine you and your Tulpa hiking? Is there a concrete procedure for it someplace (I don't recall it from linkzelda, but I read her guide rather quickly)? I'm really interested in the musical applications, because Jess seems to like listening to music.

 

Otherwise, congrats on what sounds like a great productive session!

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Redback, when you did the music association exercise, did you just play the music on your headphones, close your eyes, and imagine you and your Tulpa hiking? Is there a concrete procedure for it someplace (I don't recall it from linkzelda, but I read her guide rather quickly)? I'm really interested in the musical applications, because Jess seems to like listening to music.

 

Well at that point I'd already done the self-hypnosis thing and such so I was pretty mellow and receptive, but yeah that's the basic jist of it as far as I can tell. It's kinda another form of narration, you listen to the music and visualise and narrate what you see. In my case I listened to the music and described what I saw out loud, then wrote it down as I did it a second time.

[align=center]Host: Mike "Redback"

Tulpa name: Deortabe

Appearance: Female deer with glittery hooves.

Begun: 04/09/14

Progress: Basic appearance starting to take shape, possible first signs of sentience.[/align]

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