Guest amber5885 September 30, 2014 September 30, 2014 Always assume its him. Always always always. Also I have issues with intrusive thoughts all the time and when it happens I just let Toby know that that though wasn't me it was just my brain being a jerk. Now he's gotten to the point where he can sometimes tell when the thought is intrusive so that fixed alot of issues. As for complex question give it time. When Toby first became vocal he could answer yes or no questions easily but if I asked him anything too complex I could feel my brain Litteraly straining to find an answer and he would end up saying I don't know. Over time though it got better and now he can answer any question with ease, his voice is stronger and he's a totally different person than he was. He was shy, jelouse, scared, confused and a little neurotic when he first came around, we even got into a few fights but now he's outgoing, his jelousy has just disappeared he's no longer scared or unsure of himself and I learned last night that he's a really picky eater. He doesn't like green beans or sugery things. I live for those two things. I wasn't expecting things like that. Sentience and development are a process. It's not all or nothing.
FurryBlueNaki October 1, 2014 Author October 1, 2014 If he's talking to you and has opinions he's sentient. Yeah, he does have opinions, but it's all still so new. I still feel like he can't create himself without my help. So day 12, he's sentient. You wouldn't believe the stuff we discuss. He's a bit more open minded than I am I think. He told me he has a bad back like my father, so we have to be careful not to aggravate it. He can walk normally, it just flares up every so often. I hope to do some Reiki or healing on him to get him better. I never thought a tulpa would have a handicap. But maybe subconsciously memories of helping my dad with his back are coming up. Chance, an anthro husky, wolf or fox. Birthdate September 20, 2014. Sentient October 1, 2014.
FurryBlueNaki October 2, 2014 Author October 2, 2014 Chance: I am in the woods, out camping. I know how to start a fire. It's night, and the stars are out. I lie back with you and watch the pattern of the stars as they go by. I wonder the distances between them. Knowing that two stars that appear close together are far apart. I take my flashlight and go hiking. It is early and the fire has smoldered. The sun comes up over a ridge. Birds begin to sing. I feel free with you here with me. The gravel under our feet shifts and makes crunching sounds. I'm not wearing any shoes because my paws don't need any. They sun comes up just as the batteries on the flashlight run out. We walk back to our campsite. We sit down and tell stories, drinking some soda. Soda's my favorite. That and grilled cheese sandwiches, and mac and cheese. I also like meat and bones. We wonder about life, how much time we have together. We know life is short, and then we will be forever separated, we think. Oh how you wish you could take me with you. Maybe you will. Chance, an anthro husky, wolf or fox. Birthdate September 20, 2014. Sentient October 1, 2014.
FurryBlueNaki October 2, 2014 Author October 2, 2014 It's still early in the day but today I've not really heard my tulpa speak. Perhaps he's still asleep. Chance, an anthro husky, wolf or fox. Birthdate September 20, 2014. Sentient October 1, 2014.
FurryBlueNaki October 4, 2014 Author October 4, 2014 I've been reading the Golden Compass to my tulpa since yesterday. Sometimes I get so into the book it's hard to remember that I'm reading it to Chance. He motivates me and gives me a good feeling in my heart when I'm feeling down. The book is interesting. I take breaks every 25-50 pages or so, because I feel him pulling at my 3rd eye (in the middle of my head pressure). I can tell he enjoys the reading, particularly about the daemons that each person has which resemble animals. But daemons in the book can interact with the real world, at least I think they can. They are physical, but I haven't read anything yet about them doing stuff to the world. In time I'll find out. Got 2 more books after this to complete the His Dark Materials trilogy. Chance, an anthro husky, wolf or fox. Birthdate September 20, 2014. Sentient October 1, 2014.
FurryBlueNaki October 5, 2014 Author October 5, 2014 I found out Chance likes playing with doggie toys. He's a canine/lupine anthro after all. He likes squeaky toys as well. He likes to pounce, and to wrestle. He didn't used to like wrestling, as he was a little more timid before, but he's gotten more confident. Chance wants the world to know that he's free. He doesn't feel confined to my mind, as he sees my mind as infinite potential. Therefore, he can be anything. Chance taught me that. I also wondered if tulpas have to use the bathroom, and found it they do but it's symbolic. At least he does. He wants to be as lifelike as possible. He must emit pure energy because I don't see how he could create something out of nothing. And eating would be symbolic as well, since they really don't need to eat to survive. His favorite foods are therefore symbolic as well. Chance took away some major anxiety I was feeling today. I thank him for that. I haven't really felt all that sexual since I started with him, building him up. It's like I have no libido, but my meds also do that to me. Now he looks like the one on the right: Chance, an anthro husky, wolf or fox. Birthdate September 20, 2014. Sentient October 1, 2014.
FurryBlueNaki October 7, 2014 Author October 7, 2014 Today I found out that the anxiety Chance has been taking from me he was starting to feel himself. It's not quite aggravated, but another word that he's feeling. His memory is about the same as mine. If I can't remember something than neither can he. I want him to be comfortable, so we're a team, and working together so that we both feel good. I felt extra anxious today because of an argument with my mom over something petty that she made a big deal about. Perhaps he was feeling this extra anxiety. Chance, an anthro husky, wolf or fox. Birthdate September 20, 2014. Sentient October 1, 2014.
FurryBlueNaki October 7, 2014 Author October 7, 2014 I forced maybe 20 minutes today before having a bit of mental fatigue. Perhaps it's because I'm trying to impose him, and it takes extra mental effort. I think I can go on and do a bit more forcing though, because it's not extreme for me right now. I can tell that Chance appreciates the time I give to him, and it's as much an effort for him to impose as it is for me. It's something we are both working on. I'm going to read him another chapter from the Golden Compass today once my head settles down. I may have even done 45 minutes today of forcing. I didn't really keep track as it's off and on since my mind wanders. I kind of like the mental fatigue once work is done, because it lets me know that it's working. Chance, an anthro husky, wolf or fox. Birthdate September 20, 2014. Sentient October 1, 2014.
Guest amber5885 October 7, 2014 October 7, 2014 If you try to impose this early it won't work. Just fare warning. You're tulpa needs to be developed like 110% for it to work an that's not possible on any level after only a week and a half. You'll only end up exhausting both you and your tulpa.
FurryBlueNaki October 8, 2014 Author October 8, 2014 Thanks for the wise words amber. I'm going to wait on it then. I think life is easier without him being imposed actually. I don't think I'm psychologically ready either. Chance, an anthro husky, wolf or fox. Birthdate September 20, 2014. Sentient October 1, 2014.
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