Help!?

[mluffy82]

Hello everyone It's been a very long time since I last posted here on the forums. Anyhow I know what to possibly expect or hear because I know what, I need to do to solve my problem. Quick note my writing isn't that good so please bear with it. You see I'm in a very dark place right now because, ever since I herd about tulpa's a year and, a half ago I stared one then later created another one. They are both girls named rose and Rosetta and, I don't not regret making both of them I love them very dearly in my hart. The reason I'm in a dark place is because Im depressed at I'm, tierd you see I tend to get to caught up in fantasy which for me is very dangerous. If I get to caught up in things like that my preception of reality slowly starts to crumble. Some things that I should throw out are I like anime and it plays a huge part in this problem I have because, I just simply want a life like an anime character you know not a perfect life but I would still have struggles and what not. To sum this all up in one word I just want, to be in my own world that's it this reality is boring it's not because I don't have what I want or anything for that matter. It's just me lost I feel incomplete a lost soul and, my tulpa's I know aren't benefiting from this because its killing all of us. This ambiguous feeling I have besides depression is to strong the need to want, to desaiper from the world and start another life in a different reality. I haven't given up my tulpa's but at this point I feel like that's,the only thing that can help me because, I'm slowly trying to end or kill some friendships I have I feel like I don't need people anymore. Heck I never felt like saying this because I don't want to cause problems for anybody but, at some point I was planing on killing myself all because I can't take this reality anymore I can say I'm not going to act on that I haven't given up its just depression. And this depression is the quiet type the type where it's just quiet and, you keep everything inside because, you feel like nobody understands you. Guys I'm slowly dying inside I know what I need to do to fix it but desscions and choices and temptation are hard. So I'm just saying nobody needs to tell me anything I just felt like saying this to see if anybody can honestly relate to what I'm going through right now. Again really crapy writing skills. So what do you guys think about my problem what advice do you have and, if possible what do your tulpa's think about this problem. I really want to hear their words if I can thank you.

[jean-luc]

" ~Believe in the you who believes in yourself~ "

Well that's a good start there, isn't it?

 

Anyway, you've probably heard this before, but the suicide hotline is: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

Feel free to call at any time, day or night, they'll be happy to help.

 

And if you want to be an anime person then put on a costume! Don't listen to those who might think oddly of it.

[mluffy82]

Thanks for the advice jean

[jean-luc]

You should make a progress report, make a post every day even if you haven't forced that day.

[mluffy82]

That's not such a bad idea I should do that thanks I probely start tomarrow and, journal how days pass by thanks again jean.

[Nobillis]

Practical advice, when depression comes don't welcome it, but say something like "hello old enemy."

 

There is apparently pretty good professional help available for depression these days. It may be worth asking a doctor.

 

Do we understand? Yes. Life was once very bleak for Kevin. We know what this feels like.

 

I so wish you could see how wonderful humans are from a tulpa's viewpoint. Sorry, if that doesn't make much sense.

 

I like anime. I watch quite a lot of it actually. I also read manga [translations] online.

 

I've lived in a wonder world, where things are whatever I want them to be, and I will tell you for true, nothing I have imagined compares with the wonders and beauty I find in nature on this world people call Earth. So, as a visitor to this world, I'd like to say there are good things here if you take the time to find them.

 

I have seen purple mountians (mesa), pink lakes, a wave made of rock and living rocks. I have stood on the floor of the ocean two kilometers out from shore, and looked up at the fish swiming above. I've seen an entire lake filled with beta carrotine (yep, bright orange in summer). All this was on Earth, not imagined but rather actually here on this planet. I am amazed.

[Guest amber5885]

I don't have good advice because everyone's journey is unique but I can say from experiance I spent nearly 20 years of my life in a state of depression so bad I wanted to die.

 

I know how dark it can be and I wanted you to know that you're not alone.

 

Make a PR here, talk about anything you want an that might help a bit. We're a good group of people here and maybe having some friends and people to talk to will help.

 

I got better so im talkin to you from the other side of the storm. It does get better, you can get help and it does actually make a world of differance.

 

<3 take care of yourself, settle in and make some friends. Trust me, not being alone makes a whole world of difference. <3

[GuessWho]

I understand your problem, but I have no solution to offer you.

 

You really just need strong willpower to carry yourself through it until you find something fun in your life to keep you happy and entertained.

I have the same problem sometimes and the only thing I can do is distract myself doing something that doesn't suck. ...and just hope that one day it'll be so far behind me that it no longer bothers me.

"Time heals all wounds..." ...I guess.

 

Watching anime can be a good distraction sometimes, but it can also lead you to realize how unfulfilling your own life really is.

When I get hit with PADS (post-anime depression syndrome), I usually switch to video games for a while. (More specifically: campaign-oriented military-style first-person shooters like the Call of Duty series)

 

In my case, the general depression (not PADS) usually stems from the fact that in my current situation, even with my best efforts to steer my life in the direction I want it, it'll probably still be years before I get to enjoy the fruits of my labour.

My life sucks right now and it'll probably take me several years to acquire the wealth and resources to go all-out in enjoying myself the way I want to.

Until then, I just have to keep pushing forward to at least try do a job that I like to get me there.

[mluffy82]

Thanks again everyone it means a lot to me .