Ghastey February 13, 2015 February 13, 2015 Greetings! I'm Ghastey and my tulpa's name is Enya. She is one month old, and, after some hestitation, I've finally decided to start my PR. I hope to be posting here on a daily basis, except for weekends (I'm spending them in my parents home). The point of this PR is for me to stay motivated and keep track of our progress. Also, English is my second language, so please forgive me. Now, I guess I'll write something about my tupper. As mentioned above, our great journey have started a month ago. We did not work on personality with traits, althought I have a general feeling about what I'd like her to be, something you could call an essence. She is sentient, but we can't communicate. Yet everyday she is sending me some signals that she is really there. The first time I have heard her was in the first week, she has said my name. A week later, I've asked her to scream and shout to me, and after a second I've heard the most adorable and funny mindvoice roar you could possibly imagine. She has been also making funny faces, waving and saying random words to me. A few days ago, when forcing, she started singing a song we have been listening to earlier that day. It was Cusp by Sonny Moore, and I was so excited when she did it. To check if it wasn't me, I sang another song over her, but still could hear it, so I have no doubt it was her. I can feel her presence, getting stronger each day, and the warmth I feel in my chest when thinking of her is the most beautiful feeling I ever was to experience. Today we've been working on Enya's form for half an hour, then I have been actively narrating for an hour. I have asked her to give me head pressure, and she did. It felt like she was gently massaging my temples ;3 I am trying to passive force throughout the whole day, with good results (unfortunately I can't pay her so much attention when at school). I am also actively narrating for 15 minutes before going to sleep everyday, so I guess I'll just keep adding it beforehand. Today's active forcing amount: 1 hour 45 minutes
Ghastey February 14, 2015 Author February 14, 2015 Today we have been working on visualization for an hour, and we've gone for a long walk in the woods. I have kinda stopped feeling her presence, I hope she'll be back soon. I should also mention something I forgot to. We don't have a wonderland. That is because I want Enya to be as real as possible, and I guess imagined adventures in my mind just don't float my boat :) Tomorrow I'll post a photo we are basing Enya's appearence on. I am also afraid I'm getting addicted to orange juice. ;-; I have found it helps with concentration and eases headaches, and now I'm drinking at least a liter of it daily. Today's active forcing amount: 1 hour 15 minutes I've got a feeling it wasn't enough :c
Ghastey February 15, 2015 Author February 15, 2015 Here is the said picture: http://s15.postimg.org/8vhei0y5n/abq_BPM8_460s.jpg Today we have been forcing for 2 hours 30 minutes straight, so it was rather a productive day, tulpa-wise. After this extensive amount of tulpaforcing, we have started tulpadancing to some jazz and avant-garde rock and it was fun ;3 Now, I am aware that I have been puppeting to some degree (probably an awful lot), hence the question: Can this be bad/harmful? I think I have heard her saying something today, 90% sure. Today's active forcing amount: 3 hours
Ghastey February 16, 2015 Author February 16, 2015 Side note Yesterday I have discovered THE ULTIMATE WAY TO GET RID OF ALL THE DOUBTS AND FEARS! What I did is basically i have told Enya that, from now on, even if I parrot, we are just going to assume it was her. I am not parroting that much, so it isn't really dangerous, and now we just act like parroting doesn't even exist. example: When I ask her something and I'm afraid I did parrot the response, she acts like it was her responding. I didn't have to wait long to see the results! About half an hour after that, I have heard Enya say my name. It was so loud and sounded CREEPY AS HELL, I mean, like a radio possessed by satan >.< But I was excited nonetheless. Today, after waking up, saying hello to her and asking how she is doing, I have heard her faint voice replying "I'm so happy that you're here for me." and the image of her popped into my mind. I totally didn't expect that and I suddenly became the happiest person in the world ;3 Sooo yeah, I'm pretty excited and I'm expecting some bigger progress from now on. Also, I'd really appreciate any of your comments on this matter.
Luminesce February 16, 2015 February 16, 2015 What I did is basically i have told Enya that, from now on, even if I parrot, we are just going to assume it was her. Congratulations, you've found the cure to parrotnoia. Basically you're trying to convince your mind it's not you making up the thoughts, and once you do it starts making new neural connections that'll be associated with your tulpa rather than you, meaning they'll start to seem fairly sentient. I'm pretty impressed by your progress so far, you're doing really well. I had to come to that conclusion myself before I knew about tulpas, and I still remember how free it made us felt. Parrotting problems went away in a matter of days, for good. Either way, parrotting isn't really harmful, just a mental hurdle to get over. Also tulpadancing yes. I feel like you're making the same progress I did over a much smaller time, probably because you have this forum here to reassure you you're not insane(which makes a big difference). I'll be watching your PR, good luck to you and Enya. Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn. Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature. My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.
Ghastey February 16, 2015 Author February 16, 2015 Congratulations, you've found the cure to parrotnoia. Basically you're trying to convince your mind it's not you making up the thoughts, and once you do it starts making new neural connections that'll be associated with your tulpa rather than you, meaning they'll start to seem fairly sentient. I'm pretty impressed by your progress so far, you're doing really well. I had to come to that conclusion myself before I knew about tulpas, and I still remember how free it made us felt. Parrotting problems went away in a matter of days, for good. Either way, parrotting isn't really harmful, just a mental hurdle to get over. Also tulpadancing yes. I feel like you're making the same progress I did over a much smaller time, probably because you have this forum here to reassure you you're not insane(which makes a big difference). I'll be watching your PR, good luck to you and Enya. Thank you so much! I really appreciate you writing here, your post was reassuring to me <3 Today we have been forcing for one and a half an hour. I can see some major progress we have made on the field of visualization over the past month. My concentration has increased, I can also see Enya much better and more vividly. I am now able to feel the warmth of her soft skin, the muscles and bones underneath, differnate her breathing and pulse from mine. I am also starting to see the whole picture instead of separate little parts. But what is probably more important, I start to observe her independent movements while I'm focused on visualizing her. (We've had some pretty intense thumb war going on today xD) I'm still having a little trouble with intrusive thoughts sometimes, and today, for a split of second I have imagined slapping Enya when we were working on her face. But, to my surprise, SHE HAS SLAPPED ME BACK, thus showing me it's not a big tragedy really. Today's active forcing amount: 1 hour 45 minutes
DCPhoenix February 16, 2015 February 16, 2015 Hi there. When you say you heard Enya's voice really loudly, was it in mind voice or with your actual ears? And btw it's sounding like you're making fantastic progress. Just remember that parroting isn't a bad thing despite what people say. It's just the fear of doing something forcefully to your Tulpa that gets people worked up
Ghastey February 16, 2015 Author February 16, 2015 When you say you heard Enya's voice really loudly, was it in mind voice or with your actual ears? Hi! It was in mind voice, but it was so loud it has literally made me jump from my bed xD it was also sort of unstable and had some static and noises in it
Ghastey February 17, 2015 Author February 17, 2015 So today was THE HANDS DAY! I have obtained some decent hand reference pictures. (I guess i can put them here for you cause they're rad) [pic too big, link here: http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b220/krisaor/Female_Hand1.jpg~original] We have spent nearly two hours on recreating those hands in my mind with every smallest detail like the skin folds, and here's where things are starting to get crazy. Suddenly Enya's hands have become so real I still can't believe it. I can play with them and start to forget they're not really there. She can also move them independently to some degree. Every day in tulpamancy brings me something new. Today I have discovered my optimal workflow. I have to work on the various body parts separately, and eventually they start to combine into a consistent whole. I also want to force more, like SLEEP, EAT, FORCE, REPEAT Today's active forcing amount: 2 hours
Luminesce February 17, 2015 February 17, 2015 Man, that's dedication. We've never really forced specific body parts (besides the bunny ears) before, but it looks useful for imposition. I admire your work ethic. Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn. Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature. My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.
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