when life gives you lemon make a tulpa

[lemon]

I'm relatively new to the process of creating a tulpa but i'm very excited to finally be starting! I first came across the concept over a year ago and thought it was fascinating and had been considering doing it for myself, but only recently did i actually buckle down and start really researching the topic and decided i was ready to try.

I'm just under a week into the process and i'm surprised at how much my tulpa has already changed and developed! She began as a very vague, pale, uncoloured form which i first called Iris, but already her name has changed to Ilsa (Nicknamed Illy) and her form has become more vivid. I usually work on active forcing at least once a day for small amounts of time as often as i can so we havent gotten too far yet.

Unfortunately it is tough because i have ADHD, so that makes active forcing just that much more difficult which is the reason i can only active force for 20 minutes at a time. i'm trying to do as much passive forcing as i can just to try to help her and make sure she knows i am giving her attention. Also i've been trying to meditate and doing exercises to better my focus so i can work with illy more constructively. i am always open to try new exercises and strategies to better my focus and force more constructively

 

Strangely despite this, as i was attempting to narrate while passive forcing, i think she was trying to communicate? I'm not sure but i kept getting these chills down my spine while i was trying to engage her, so i told her if she wanted to communicate that she could use right side as yes and left side as no, and started asking her questions periodically. i actually did get chills on either side after asking questions as if she were responding and some were completely unexpected for example: i got a weaker sensation that Wavered back and forth between left and right and i asked her if that meant she was unsure and i got a strong chill on the right (yes response)

is this possibly her trying to communicate? I've never heard of a tulpa using this kind of communication before and i feel like this is very fast for her to start becoming more vocal

[Elvode]

I've read some tulpas become sentient from the start, others after a few days or weeks, some are very fast and some are very slow at developing either way is ok.

Tulpas can use different kinds of communication before they use their voice, if you feel that was her communicating with you than it probably was, only you know the answer for that.

[lemon]

Oh okay thank you! I think it definitely is her way of communication right now because she actually pulled me out of a panic attack today using a combination of emotion and her little chills sensation and would use the no response every time i would try to go back to doing what i was doing when the attack was triggered.

[Jay]

You and Ilsa have established a method of communication in a very short time, so I'd say you're doing very well. Like Elvode said, some tulpas develop quickly while others much more slowly, and still many more in between.

 

My main method of forcing is passive, and like you, I have trouble active forcing for any considerable length of time. Concentration and sleepiness are two things that have hindered my active forcing the most, and I've found that for the former, relaxing/ambient, mostly instrumental music can help. Maybe you could find a long ambient track on the internet -- one with rain, ocean wave, or city noises -- and use it to help you concentrate; you could even use it to help create an wonderland environment to explore with your tulpa.

 

I've also read around this site that tulpas have responded well to being directly addressed by others, but I don't have any personal experience with this.

 

Good luck with your tulpa endeavors!

[lemon]

Ugh I feel so guilty... I've been so swamped with work and completely stressed out so I haven't had any time to active force for the last couple days. I managed to find a bit of time last night but ugh I was too tired to focus. I finally got into the zone when my phone went off and completely shattered my ability to focus for the rest of the night. Most frustrating thing i've ever had happen...

 

Anyway, this means i've barely gotten any farther with Illy. I've tried really hard to passive force but with everything going on around me all the time I just cant keep my mind on it half the time. I'm so scared that i'm going to lose Ilsa because of how busy i've been and i'm sure i'm not going to get any less busy due to school. Of course i still find time when i can but i'm terrified i'm somehow going to lose her...

I did make a wonderland with her and we spent some quality time together on monday there, doing some exercises like her writing from 0-15 on canvaS. It went well but that was the last quality time i actually got to spend with her. I hope so bad that she understandS. I narrate to her all the time but passive forcing is so difficult lately and i dont know why.

 

anyone with any ideas of how i can spend more time with her and get around my busy schedule? And/or passive forcing tips?

[Laach]

All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. [GLaDOS: "Yeah."] Make life take the lemons back! [GLaDOS: [animatedly] "Yeah!"] Get mad! [GLaDOS: [increasingly animatedly] "Yeah!"] I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! [GLaDOS: "Yeah, take the lemons!"] Demand to see life's manager! [GLaDOS: "Yeah!"] Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! [GLaDOS: "Oh, I like this guy."] I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! [GLaDOS "Burn his house down! Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!"]

 

(I couldn't help myself)

 

As for helping you with time management and forcing problems, have you tried projecting your tulpa onto 2D objects? I have my face on a screen for most of the day, so I've taught myself to force my tulpa onto my computer screen or whatever flat surface I choose. A 2D body is definitely easier to imagine than a 3D one.

[lemon]

Thank you for your help, unfortunately i have yet to have success with that strategy but i'm trying everything i can at the present time.

 

It's extremely frustrating trying to make time for poor Illy when i'm CONSTANTLY being bombarded with worK. The stress never ends and i always have something on the go so i've hardly been able to force at all. I Can't even begin to explain my frufrustration, i feel like i've betrayed my tulpa and i'm going to lose her... I honestly did not see this happening. I was sure i would have time but it was like the second i got back from easter weekend the work was being laid on me like a tonne of bricks. I've tried passive forcing nearly every day but i feel like i'm getting nowhere. I'm under far too much stress to even focus on active forcing even if i try as hard as i can and push myself to my limits.

I dont have much else to say other than i'm very very ashamed of how horrible of a host i've been and i feel like i've failed Ilsa in every way possible.

[lemon]

UPDATE: yesterday when I got home, feeling guilty as all hell, i made sure i had time to active force with ilsa. It was quite a success, for the first time i had a nearly clear picture of her face in my mind. However, i did lose focus after a while, i believe she is trying to use tulpish to speak to me. I sat with her in our wonderland and i was going to draw with her and i wasnt sure what to draw when suddenly i got a very clear picture of a flower in my minds eye. this is the first time she has done this so clearly, i'm ecstatic clearly she mustnt have given up on me either, and for that i am forever grateful.

Another Thing ive been doing with her lately has been passive forcing her and parroting her voice to read. I know parroting is not the best but i want her to get used to the way i can hear in mindvoice and such, although she knows i have no problem if she wants to change her voice. is this a bad thing to do? It really helps me focus and helps a lot with passive forcing

[Laach]

Glad to see you're doing better with your tulpa.

Parroting isn't bad and is usually encouraged for early development. It's sort of like training wheels for tulpas. Of course, you're going to have to remove those training wheels eventually. For now it should be fine though.

[lemon]

Okay good, that's what i was thinking but i'm not experienced in this sort of thing yet so i wanted to double check. Thank you!