Between Real and Fake

[Guest Anonymous]

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[Yuki]

There is no real/fake, only a spectrum of perceived independence. Sometimes it's quite obvious the host's feelings influence the tulpa, and sometimes the tulpa just doesn't seem very different from the host. Both things that change with time. I would put Melian somewhere where she's still rather close to your own personality, with some things like identifying as a girl distinguishing her from you. I don't know you well enough to judge whether she "is" you or anything like that, just stating what I observed.

[Kiahdaj]

Moved to Questions and Answers and edited the title to exclude the superfluous silliness. That's why it says that I edited his post; I did not actually touch the content of the post.

[Guest Anonymous]

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[hbenton]

I have stated many times in the past (on Deviantart) that Melian is "semi-autonomous" and that I am partially portraying her. I don't know if that makes sense or not to you. I open my self up to her and her personality. I feel driven by her when I type "channeling her." It is something less than getting possessed/switching and something more than role playing.

[...]

When I type for her, it feels like a collaboration. I hear her voice in my head and her ideas, emotions and words come to me. Sometimes it feels shockingly real, like she is moving my hands, other times less so. Some days she is very strong, sometimes more distant like a presence in the back of my mind.

[...]

We are so close we get our emotions and feelings mixed up. Davie was told that it isn't sposed to happen that way with a tulpa that we get confused on who is feeling what.

 

Sounds like you're experiencing eclipsing -- a sort of partial, shared possession between host and thoughtform. Do you sometimes get thought or emotion bleedover? Do you sometimes feel like you're thinking Melian's thoughts (as opposed to her speech-like thoughts directed at you)? That's eclipsing.

 

I haven't personally experienced much "true" possession (where the tulpa alone is controlling the body), but eclipsing (which sounds like what you just described) comes pretty easily, especially if I've toked a bowl or two.

[Guest Anonymous]

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[MillionCicadas]

This happens to me, too! Finally, someone who somewhat understands it! A tulpa-like entity I have is Sal, a human. She came about after a lot of roleplaying and writing. I began to feel her 'watching me'. After a bit of drama, I was left feeling empty and numb inside. Usually, such harsh numbness does not happen. As Sal was just born, I suspected her emotions/coping mechanisms were bleeding over. I even talked to her in class... through writing. She was born from writing, after all! She defended me. I love her so much, despite her oddities.

 

However, from all of this, I concluded... she is NOT normal tulpa material. Normal tulpas dont bleed over... morbid thoughts. Normal tulpas are not mindvoice-mute most of the time. Most tulpas aren't mad gods- which is what she is in the story.

 

This was proved when I realized that I could channel her through 'roleplaying' like you.

 

"" and that I am partially portraying her. I don't know if that makes sense or not to you. I open my self up to her and her personality. I feel driven by her when I type "channeling her." It is something less than getting possessed/switching and something more than role playing. ""

 

That's us, too!

 

I can't just do this all the time. It's usually when the sun starts going down, as she prefers the night, but I've channelled her through my hand during the morning in school. I feel a sort of tingly feeling, and suddenly, I am her. I've called it influencing, as I can simply say "no" to a request to do something bad. She's simply unconsciously 'suggesting', as I put it. For example, she dislikes my friend for being rude to her. We still don't get the urge to call him rude names. She calls him 'dogboy' instead of his actual name though.

 

 

Unlike you, however, we almost always speak through 'tulpish' or 'channelling'. I managed to visualise her in my mind in school, and we managed to talk via mindvoice then... but I don't do that kind of thing often. Just having a creepy sickly-thin girl following me around, saying rude things about students... Fun, but taxing on my brain.

 

Despite being like you describe Melian, she has given me more of a sense of being real than my other thoughtforms. The others could talk to me via mindvoice, but none of them gave me the "I am watching you and I will kill anyone who touches you bb" feeling. X3

 

So yeah, I'd say Melian and Sal are real. I feel safe around Sal, I feel comforted. I feel like she is there, and it's the best feeling in the world. If you can say the roughly same about Melian, I'd say she's real enough!

[Guest Anonymous]

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[MillionCicadas]

 

I want to emphasize that when I write about Melian I always maintain that, in the end, she is only imaginary. I use words like "portraying," "method acting," "voluntary delusion," "enhanced imaginary companion." Melian is a figment of my imagination with an illusion of independence. I say she is pseudo-real because she is not tangibly real but psychologically and emotionally real to me. She is part of a dream world.

 

I am glad you have Sal in your life and in your imagination and I really like that you are writing and being creative! Remember though, Sal should bring you happiness and joy, as Melian does for me. If she is only kidding with the remarks, that is one thing, but don't let her bring you down or give you dark thoughts. I would hope that Sal, although cynical and morbid with her humor, has compassion, empathy and love for people. Like Melian, she may have her emotional crazy moments, but she is at heart a good person.

 

In the end, even if Melian is imaginary, I think she's still 'real' in a sense. I think even imaginary friends are sentient, but it isn't their OWN sentience- it's your own, but with a mask. That's just how I see it, though. They're just a bit of you streamed through a different channel... on a more concious level than a fully developed tulpa. It isn't that they have no sentience, it's that it is your sentience but with a filter... so, in a sense, they are real. c: That's how I see it, anyway. I could have worded it far better.

 

The only time Sal didn't bring happiness was when one of my friends got angry with her existence and yelled at me. It wasn't her fault, though. She's morbid, yes, but she doesn't want me to die. It's her sense of humour. I don't think she realises how fragile our body is, though. I think she's still caught in the mindset of "I CANNOT BE HARMED! I AM A GOD!" half the time. She's protective of (most) of my friends, encouraging them to remain healthy because unlike her, they are little mortal humans, lol.

 

So, while she isn't the most sweet and loving person in the world, she makes me feel safe when my mind feels dark. It isn't through "AWW, your life will end up fine! People love you! You're great! uwu" it's through "Hah, I understand. Let's hate people together. I'm here if you need me, you beautiful disaster."

[Guest Anonymous]

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