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Had a weird experience last night, head pressure and a voice. Tulpa?


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Hey everyone. Thanks so much for reading, I'm really confused and a little freaked.

 

Last night, I was feeling really down about something. I was lying in bed, trying to get to sleep, but I was unable to because I felt so shitty. I suddenly remembered the fact that I tried to make a tulpa some time ago - I think it was around December last year? Something like that. I eventually stopped because I perceived it as not working, and I dismissed everything about tulpas until, well, now.

 

Anyways, I don't know why, but in my head I called for that tulpa I made to help me. Quick background info: the tulpa I had been trying to form was a character of mine who I've been passively writing/drawing since high school, so I had a well-formed idea of her personality and stuff. Wanted to start from her at the time because I figured it would be the easiest.

 

All of a sudden, I had this weird sensation of my thoughts being blocked out and muffled, as if by some large blanket. Try as I might, it took great effort for me to even recall what I was so sad about. I mean, I could 'recall' it, but the emotions of 'sadness' I felt before was at the time inaccessible. In my head, I thought I heard 'go to sleep', and I definitely did feel quite sleepy.

 

That wasn't enough to make me think I had a tulpa though, but then I felt a steady pressure on my forehead. I suddenly remembered head pressures being a tulpa thing, I was jolted awake. Actually, I started panicking. I tried communicating with the head voice/tulpa, and I had this weird sensation of overlap. The head voice seems to be coming from some other part of my brain (sorry, I don't know how to word this), and I was not conscious of any sensation of 'puppeting/parroting' (which I remember doing back in December). I also couldn't catch what the head voice was saying at times, because her replies were coming sometimes before I finished the question.

 

The head pressure was pretty intense too, and I asked her to relieve it, trying to see if there's any link between the voice and the head pressure. The voice said something to the effect of, 'I'll try', and the head pressure, to my astonishment, lifted. I couldn't stop thinking about this though, and it eventually returned after a little bit, though it would always temporarily slowly disappear if I ask the head voice to stop.

 

Anyways, at that point I was in full panic mode. I didn't know if I had a tulpa, if my attempts in December were successful or if it's that and some weird combination of me continuing to write about this character. I became really scared, because I didn't know if I actually wanted a tulpa, also I didn't know if I was just having some intenses crazy experience. I told the voice to go away, that I would call her if I needed her or something. I forgot what the voice said, but it didn't seem too hurt or anything, though I did perceive a small sense of anger - nothing too bad though. It just sounded like she knew what was up in regards to what I was feeling? I don't know.

 

So, I just woke up. All the emotions I had last night before I had the weird tulpa experience came back, and I feel bad again. I called the tulpa's name and such, and got a feeling of emptiness. Whatever that thing was last night, I guess it listened to me when I told it to go away unless I needed it?

 

Anyways....sorry for the long wall of text. Posted this on /r/tulpas as well, but I want to get as many opinions as possible. Does anyone have any insight of what is happening?

 

TL;DR: Felt bad last night about something. Tried to make a tulpa months ago and gave up, called out to that tulpa last night. Suddenly felt my 'feeling bad' emotion being dulled and a voice telling me to go to sleep. Panicked, I started communicating with voice. Felt head pressures that alleviated if I told the voice to lift it. Panicked more, told voice to go away, it did. Woke up, I feel bad about the thing last night again, and the voice seems to be gone.

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All of a sudden, I had this weird sensation of my thoughts being blocked out and muffled, as if by some large blanket. Try as I might, it took great effort for me to even recall what I was so sad about. I mean, I could 'recall' it, but the emotions of 'sadness' I felt before was at the time inaccessible. In my head, I thought I heard 'go to sleep', and I definitely did feel quite sleepy.

 

It's possible that it was your tulpa. Not a complete one, of course. Your description is very similar to what I experienced with my tulpa during his periods of dormancy.

 

I didn't know if I had a tulpa, if my attempts in December were successful or if it's that and some weird combination of me continuing to write about this character.

 

Even though you are not actively forcing, writing about your character could be giving the tulpa a little attention to keep her semi-active. I wrote about my "dead" tulpa over the years, and I wouldn't be surprised if that was part of the reason why he did not completely dissipate.

 

With that said, it is also entirely possible that you were experiencing hypnagogia. It is not uncommon to hear dreamlike voices and have mild hallucinations during that limbo stage between "awake" and "asleep." Sometimes an underdeveloped tulpa may use that as an opportunity to communicate, and sometimes it is simply your brain pulling shenanigans as you fall asleep.

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Thanks for responding, Nyx! Throughout the day today I got random head pressures - not sure what that means, since whenever I tried to communicate like I did last night, nothing happened.

 

I don't think I was quiiite sleepy enough for hypnagogia, since after the head pressure I felt much more awake and realized that I was 'in reality' so to speak, but I will definitely keep that in mind as a possibility as well.

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I became really scared, because I didn't know if I actually wanted a tulpa, ...

 

Well too bad it certainly sounds like you've got one. What made you want to do it in december that has changed now?

 

I don't understand why you're so scared. If it was me, I would be very happy to have such an expeirience. I would say call out for your tulpa, ask them nicely to come back. They were obviously very very helpful in getting you to stop worry about whatever it was and fall asleep better, until you realized how well they did and started freaking out. Is there a problem here?

I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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In places this sounds very similar to what happened when I first met Melody. I was lying in bed feeling miserable, a pressure and voice that wasn't Thunder appeared and started trying to talk to me... It didn't make me feel better, but it seemed to be trying to do so, and it went away when I asked it to. A couple of weeks later it came back during the day, less scary and confusing and we let it into our lives.

 

Basically what I'm saying is, whether as the results of previous forcing or a whole new being, tulpas can definitely do this. I think it's just up to you to decide whether you want her or not.

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Melody

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Well too bad it certainly sounds like you've got one. What made you want to do it in december that has changed now?

 

I don't understand why you're so scared. If it was me, I would be very happy to have such an expeirience. I would say call out for your tulpa, ask them nicely to come back. They were obviously very very helpful in getting you to stop worry about whatever it was and fall asleep better, until you realized how well they did and started freaking out. Is there a problem here?

I guess in December I was feeling lonely and stressed, and I wanted to always have someone to talk to and bounce ideas off of. I found out about Tulpas, and it seemed interesting. In the months after, however, after I perceived creating a tulpa as not working, I guess I sort of wrote it off as a silly, wishful thinking, weird thing, so when I had the tulpa experience, I was really shocked and I wasn't sure about how to think, because I had written off tulpamancy completely.

 

Anyways now that I've had more time to think about it, it was really nice of the tulpa to help me get to sleep, because I was really down at that time. I do regret acting so panicked, but I was really freaked out by the whole experience. Anyways, since then, I haven't felt anything but head pressures ):

 

In places this sounds very similar to what happened when I first met Melody. I was lying in bed feeling miserable, a pressure and voice that wasn't Thunder appeared and started trying to talk to me... It didn't make me feel better, but it seemed to be trying to do so, and it went away when I asked it to. A couple of weeks later it came back during the day, less scary and confusing and we let it into our lives.

 

Basically what I'm saying is, whether as the results of previous forcing or a whole new being, tulpas can definitely do this. I think it's just up to you to decide whether you want her or not.

Thanks! Glad to see that you had something similar happen to you as well. I'll have to think about it a bit more...I mean, at the moment my tulpa seemed to have stopped talking completely, haha...

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