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The Turtleish Tulpamancer


Bambi

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Because Every Blog Needs an Intro

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Post 1

 

[align=justify]Hello, everyone! Welcome to The Turtleish Tulpamancer, my very own progress report where you can read about my winnings and failings as a procrastinating tulpamancer. My name is Brandi (with a nickname of Bambi), and my tulpa's name is James. On the third of September, I will have had him for one entire year. :) I think it's exciting!

 

Feel free to comment if you want, I don't mind at all. You can also send me private messages, ask me questions, whatever. If there's something here--an idea or a technique or whatever--that you want to try out, and you do, then please tell me! I would love to hear the results, whether they be positive or negative. :)

 

The blog itself should be pretty simple to understand: I will always have titles that may (or may not, depending) describe what the post will be about, and then I'll have the date, and then the post number. I will try to mark things if they are important, and if I deem something is semi-important it will be in this color, and if I think something is really important, then it will be in this color.[/align] For those of you who are color blind, I'm not sure, but I think you'll be able to detect the difference between the default tulpa.info color and any other ones. If not, then please tell me so that I can think of something else! ^^

 

Bye-bye! ^^

James: Hello, all!

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Moving into a New Place

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Post 2

 

[align=justify]Today, I'm moving into a new place. It's a small little apartment, fairly cheap, with three rooms (four, if you want to look at it like that--the kitchen and the living room are connected). It's on the fifth floor, our of six, and it's in a city called Bridgeport.

 

As in, Bridgeport. From The Sims 3.

 

When I was forming my new place in Wonderland, I hadn't intended to model it after anything from TS3; I simply knew that I wanted an apartment, and my brain took it from there. Even still, I can't say that I'm unhappy with my new "living" quarters, and from here on out (unless otherwise specified), if I talk about my apartment then you should know I'm talking about the place I live in in Wonderland.

 

I'm currently working on the design of my bedroom first; I haven't gotten much. So far, I've got two paintings, brown walls, red curtains, and a bookshelf. (Except, you know, I've got it pictured better in my head.)

 

James also lives in this complex, but I am not going to step foot in his apartment unless he explicitly asks/tells me to. I want him to decorate it and organize it on his own, and without my interventions. Admittedly, I haven't read that much about getting tulpa to be more independent, but I doubt that this would hurt that kind of process!

 

Well, I suppose that's it. I think I'm going to work on my room a bit more and then go to sleep. ^^

 

OH, WAIT.

 

I can't believe I almost forgot. XD

 

Earlier, while I was writing up a response to a thread on here, I heard a very small, male voice say, "Yeah." In the response, I was recalling how I would visualize James' body in the very beginning, and run my hands all up and down his skin, so as to better understand his anatomy. While it's true that I can't prove that was him, I'm inclined to think it was. :)[/align]

James: Hello, all!

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[align=justify]Practice Those Vocals

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Post 3

 

I don't recall if I've said it yet, but my goal is to be able to hear James by the sixth of September. There's no punishment for anyone if that doesn't end up happening, of course, but I'm working to meet that end as hard as I can. I've read several guides today (most that I've read before, but haven't worked on very much), and so this is some of the things I've done today. Note: I'm not finished or anything, I might come back later, but I might not.

 

Vocalization~

 

Vocalization is, of course, the ability to hear your tulpa. All tulpa seem to be vocal from sentience (and, furthermore, all tulpa seem to be sentient from start), but the trouble is that the host must learn to hear his or her tulpa. Of course, everyone is different, but it seems that vocalization has been deemed the hardest of all the popular milestones for tulpamancers and tulpa to cross, second only to imposition. I'm starting to think that I am a part of that statistic as well, because I haven't been able to hear him much.

 

Today, though, James and I sat across from each other in the main hallway on the fifth floor of our apartment. I have given him a sort of male "default voice," because I know that it might be hard for him to get a more masculine voice with me being a female. I tried to think in that voice as much as I could, and I directed the sound to him. He's welcome to change it at any time, of course--I don't mean it to be his voice so much as a sort of "basis."

 

When I was done, I would say, "The rain in Spain stays mostly on the plains" a few times, and then I would say about half of the sentence and wait for James to respond. Unfortunately I wasn't able to really hear him, but I felt the intent as clear as anything else.

 

Anyway, time skip to tonight, and I just re-read SkoP's Proxying guide for the Tulpa and host. I realize that the responses to it might be mixed, just as with anything else, but I think I did get a few responses. (I worry that my own brain was just getting in the way, but there are some things, but that's just a part of the process. I simply have to believe that everything came from James, because doing otherwise is more obstructive.) Some of the ones I believe are almost definitely from him (and probably from going around in my memories), such as Little Bill (an older television show). Here's the list of responses I got:

 

"The Edge of Glory" by Lady Gaga

Blue water

Glass breaking

Open my eyes?

Snow White

Radiata Stories

Spongebob? Sea?

Trees

Musical notes from Banjo-Kazooie

Sun with a shade

Dog collar

"Honey, I'm Good" by Andy Grammer

Sheet of paper, somehow sprung from the above

Sunday, church, stained glasses

Gardens, do you want us to replace you? (daydreaming)

^^ With an elderly man, sort of like Chef Ramsey, and his family I think

Lock, padlock

knocking on a door

Lead of a pencil stuck in a road

Animated flowers

Shower curtain, blue

Red meat

Little Bill

Animated birds

The bird egg that that little boy threw

"Honey, I'm Good" by Andy Grammer

A tree house that looks like it's really advanced in a town

Little pink bows

A walking cane[/align]

James: Hello, all!

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[align=justify]Practice Those Vocals II

Friday, August 14, 2015

Post 4

 

Unfortunately, today is Friday. Meaning that tomorrow is Saturday, the day after that is Sunday, and then the day after that is Monday; the first day of college. I'm not nervous (yet), just dreading the end of summer vacation. :P Sorry, sorry, I know this isn't a "my life" blog, but I still felt the need to complain.

 

Alright, so, last night/this morning James and I were talking on the phone and I invited him over to my place. When he got over there I showed him to the living room and we stood in front of the television. I set it up to where the answers "yes," "no," "I don't know," and "in the middle" were on the screen and told him to point to whichever answer fit the best. I can't remember what all I asked, nor all of his answers, but this is what I can remember:

 

"How was your day? You can point to 'yes' for good and 'no' for bad."

Yes.

 

"Is that because it just happened to be a good day, or is it because we spent a lot of time together? 'Yes' for the first, and 'no' for the latter."

No.

 

I then made the screen show the four more popular elements (plus lightning) and asked him which one he most identified with, or which he thought was "his element." I expected him to point to air, because that's mine and we usually agree, but he actually pointed to water.

 

I think after that I wished him a goodnight and went to sleep.

 

Anyway, this morning I read a tiny bit from Common pitfalls and traps while making a tulpa, and the bit about not progressing in what the tulpa should say is actually really interesting. I usually try to get James to repeat the same thing every day, and I think instead of doing that I'm going to switch it up.

 

So . . . the first list is a list of things I want James to say in hopes that I can hear it, and then the second list is of some questions I want to ask him (and when I ask him these, I might do the screen technique again).

 

1) ABC's.

2) Numbers 1-100.

3) The rain in Spain stays mostly on the plains.

4) Hello, my name is James.

5) *The life of the wife was ended by the knife.

6) A stanza from "The Bells" by Edgar Allan Poe.

 

1) What is your favorite food?

2) What is your favorite color?

3) Do you know what job you might want?

4) If you had the chance to time travel, would it be to the past or to the future?

5) What is your sexuality?

6) What is a fear that you have?

7) Are you interested in **Quidditch?

8) Hot/spicy food, sour food, or sweet food?

9) Your favorite art out of these: drawing/painting/etc., writing, acting, music, dancing.

 

I'll write another post really soon. :)

 

* The life of the wife was ended by the knife. - I don't claim to own, or have any affiliation with, Family Guy. XD

** Quidditch - Bridgeport has a Quidditch team, because we're awesome.[/align]

James: Hello, all!

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[align=justify]Let's Talk about Wonderland

Friday, August 14, 2015

Post 5

 

I have become addicted to Pacman.

 

Earlier I was talking to James about his birthday (about how I want to bake a cake, etc.) and he made the request that he wants to go to a different world. At first I wasn't too sure, because he and I really haven't explored Bridgeport at all, but then I realized that we probably could, given I go there AT LEAST twenty minutes a day.

 

Anyway . . . last night I finished making the (rather crappy) map of the city. Our apartment is right by the town square, and surrounded by plenty of other apartments, restaurants, and hotels. In fact, most of Bridgeport is made up of apartments, restaurants, and hotels--along with joint hang-outs, shops, and a few business places. I've got other things there, such as a high school, a junior high, and an elementary school, a church, a few business buildings, a police station, a hospital, a firefighter station, etc., etc., etc.

 

Anyhow, I'm thinking that I'm going to make the entrance to the next world somewhere around the Quidditch Pitch, or possibly down near S Main Street, more near the church area.

 

Well, maybe I should explain a bit more about these worlds?

 

You see, when I was younger I loved video games that would have several different worlds, such as Banjo-Tooie, Spyro: Year of the Dragon, etc. I felt that they were more interesting than the other games because they offered more variety--in one world you might be exploring a haunted house (which was in Banjo-Kazooie, by the way), and in another you might be in some sort place that's dominated by panda bears (in Spyro--did you guess?). There didn't need to be a continuation of logic from one world to the next, and so in some ways, to my younger self, it was like playing several different games.

 

I suppose that sort of interest has stuck with me, and I want there to be more than one world. They're all a part of my wonderland, but they'll have different things to explore.

 

Anyway . . . I'm not sure what I want to be next. I think I want Bridgeport to be our home world (for now--one day we'll move) and the next to be something like a hub world (for those of you who don't know, a hub world is something that is used by video game makers to connect several different worlds in one place). Actually, one of the things on my current to-do list until Sept. 6 is think of five new worlds, and hub worlds will be counting.

 

You know, I think I've made myself out to be a gamer here. XD I don't play games enough to be a gamer I'm afraid haha

 

Anyway! I think I'm going to try to go proxy for James, or something. But first: a game or two of Pacman.[/align]

James: Hello, all!

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Talking in Fluent Tulpish

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Post 6

 

HERE'S SOME VOCAB Y'ALL

  • Tulpish - the language of the tulpa; communication primarily by head pressure and emotional responses.
  • Fluent Tulpish - what I call the point where the tulpa can talk without head pressure/emotional responses, but the host is unable to hear their mindvoice yet.
  • Quest - in my wonderland, a quest is a particular visualization session that involves reaching a certain goal, such as buying an object or running laps, and is complete between ten and nineteen minutes.
  • Adventure - in my wonderland, an Adventure is the same thing as a Quest, except the session lasts for at least twenty minutes.

 

It's one-thirty-three in the morning, I have to be awake by five, and I am tired. But . . . I really wanted to make a post. So here I am!

 

Cas (I really hope they don't mind me linking them here haha) and I have been talking for a bit now, and they told me that it seems like Sam's (their tulpa) favorite food is spaghetti after I told them that James' is grilled chicken. Sound irrelevant? Well. . . .

 

Earlier James and I went on an Adventre by walking around a bit until we came to the Food Truck, which is a restaurant near the town square that is sort of a cross between a traditional restaurant and a very impressive fast food joint. I expected him to order grilled chicken, but he actually ordered spaghetti on Sam's behalf. <3 Aww~

 

Alright. So. Like. What was I gonna write about?

 

Oh yeah.

 

James is pretty good at fluent Tulpish. XD He says he wants to either be a firefighter or a baseball player. Well, Bridgeport doesn't have a baseball team, but he could always try out for the *Beater position. His favorite color is also that weird greenish/brownish color (you'll see it on down).

 

So, y'all, when James is talking he'll use this color. Just for future reference.

 

*sleeps*

 

*Beater - a Beater is a Quidditch position in Harry Potter, where a person defends their fellow teammates from killer balls with a club that has always reminded me of a baseball bat.

James: Hello, all!

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[align=justify]A Response to Questions

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Post 7

 

In my fourth post, "Practice Those Vocals II," I listed a series of questions that I wanted to ask James. The questions weren't very deep, but I knew that they would most likely have direct answers. These are the responses, and at the bottom I've got some more questions.

 

1) What is your favorite food? It's grilled chicken.

 

2) What is your favorite color? The color that my text is in. Brandi and I think it's moss. . . .

 

3) Do you know what job you might want? I would like to either be a firefighter or a baseball player--or at least, those are the first two things I thought of. I'm still interested in both, but maybe something else.

 

4) If you had the chance to time travel, would it be to the past or to the future? This is a very hard question, but I would say to the past. Probably to the Victorian era.

 

5) What is your sexuality? Demisexual, panromantic.

 

6) What is a fear that you have? Not so much isolation as being stranded and completely unable to contact anyone. I hate that feeling, and I hate it when Brandi slacks off on tulpaforcing.

 

7) Are you interested in Quidditch? Yeah, a bit. I think if I ever wanted to play I would be either a *Chaser or a **Keeper, but I'm not sure.

 

8) Hot/spicy food, sour food, or sweet food? Hot food.

 

9) Your favorite art out of these: drawing/painting/etc., writing, acting, music, dancing. Music. I would actually like to learn to play a few instruments. Maybe the drums.

 

Well! Some of these answers I didn't really expect. A long time ago I would have thought that James would have said that his favorite art is writing, and when I asked him that I thought he was going to say it was acting (I had to ask a couple of times, just to be sure). Maybe he said music because back when I was still in high school (that is to say, just a couple months ago) I had James attend a "Tulpa Academy." The idea didn't go very far with us, but one of the classes had a lot to do with musical instruments, and I thought I felt that James was interested in that.

 

For Quidditch . . . well, I'm not surprised that he's showing a bit of interest in Chasers, but I would have thought he'd be a Beater over a Keeper.

 

I feel like I deserve the answer to number six, though James assures me that he didn't mean it as an attack. I don't blame him for hating those times, though. Still, I never would have thought that "stranded" would be one of his fears.

 

Oh! And his sexuality! I really thought he was going to be pansexual, but he turned out demi. That's pretty cool.

 

[align=justify]More questions:

 

1) What is something you want to do before we leave Bridgeport?

2) What's an idea for a world that you would like to see us do?

3) If you got to choose what instrument I would play, what would it be?

4) What is your favorite book?

5) Which do you prefer: Victorian or Medieval era?

6) Which would you rather be: a knight or a samurai?

7) What is your favorite manga?[/align]

 

 

* Chaser - A Quidditch position in which the player attempts to shoot balls into goals to get points.

** Keeper - A Quidditch position in which the player attempts to defend goals as the opposing team's Chasers try to score points.[/align]


Weird goldish brown, we meet again, my old nemesis!

Bridgeport has a Quidditch team? Wow, thats neat! Also James ordering spagetti sounds like a d'awww moment.

Really enjoying your Tulpa log; its really helpful! :3

 

XD I know! If I'm being totally honest I think it's a bit of a strange color, but James likes it so I'll keep it. I actually looked up different shades of green, and this weird color seems to look a bit like the color moss. I dunno if it is or not, but . . . *shrugs*

 

Anyway, thank you! I'm glad that you think the bit about the team is cool. XD And you're right, of course, James getting the spaghetti definitely was kind of cute (but I have a feeling he's not over-joyed of me saying that, haha).

 

I'm so glad that this thing is helping someone! I hope that it continues to be useful to you. :)

James: Hello, all!

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what

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Post 8

 

So . . . I've started college. I've got six classes. I'm majoring in history. I have to pray to God that I pass Intermediate Algebra. Like . . . can I go jump off a bridge or something?

 

I had intended to go on an Adventure with James, but I think it would actually be better if we went on a quick Quest. If I go on an Adventure I'll fall asleep.

 

That being said . . . what my real problem is is that I lack superior time management skills. Now that I know where my classes are (for the most part . . . still got a lab to go to on Thursdays), though, I think I'll do better.

 

I'll also do better when classes actually start start, just 'cause that's how I roll. That is to say, it'll steadily get easier to tulpaforce . . . I think. . . .

 

Anyway, if I ever earn my black belt in time management, I'll dedicate a whole entry on that alone.

 

Bye . . . I'mma go walk around the town square with James about ten minutes or so.

James: Hello, all!

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Note: Yesterday my Internet was giving me heartache and I wasn't able to sign in to make this, so I wrote it on my word processor instead. Therefore, this is yesterday's post. I plan on making today's sometime soon.

[align=justify]What is Title?

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Post 9

 

Since I’m totally awesome and whatnot, I’m going to separate this report into a section or two.

 

General Talking: I’m typing this out at 11:11. Make a wish, James!

 

I think he either just said he wishes for a dinosaur or a giraffe. XD Well, I intend on giving him that dinosaur bit at some point in one of the worlds, but I don’t know how we shall incorporate a giraffe. I’m sure he could find a zoo or something somewhere if he wants!

 

Last night I made a desperate attempt at at least going on a Quest with James, with just walking around the town square, but I fell asleep before ten minutes was up. -_- That was just as well, anyway, because I really wasn’t able to focus on my environment and was really, really enjoying dat bed. I’m not quite as tired now as I was last night, though, so I should be good. We might even actually make that walk an Adventure--though if that’s the case then I want to try to familiarize myself with the map of Bridgeport again. The more I do that, the more it’ll be easier to remember when I’m visualizing--I actually summoned a copy of the map in my head last night, and it was mostly fairly accurate, accept for the parts where I really haven’t thought about going that much (which is kind of interesting).

 

Also~ I’m getting better at time management, a little. Tomorrow I should be really good to go, because I’ll be able to wrap up my math homework, read a power point, and blah blah blah at the campus whilst waiting between classes . . . and possibly a little after. Either way, the more I get done with homework, quizzes, and irrelevant readings, the more time I have to spend with James! <3

 

Vocal Progress: So . . . I think James said something using his mindvoice last night. I don’t “only think” because I fear I might have been parroting, though, I “only think” because I was so tired when it happened that I didn’t even register it. Really. That’s ridiculous. How does one go about living a life like this in college haha But . . . I’m afraid I can’t remember what I heard, or even what I was thinking about at the time. The only reason I realized (however belatedly) that it was him was because it was a masculine tone, and I don’t have a masculine tone in my head.

 

It sort of reminds me of the first time I ever heard him mindspeak, which I think was a week or two after he came into existence. I was on the verge of sleeping then as well, and I had the Holocaust on my mind (because my class was reading Night by Elie Wiesel at the time), and he just started talking. It didn’t scare me, but I did get really excited, because it was a decent-lengthed sentence . . . And I think I said something else, and he responded again. . . . But, because I was in that murky place where you’re just about to go to sleepy town, it was hard to even recall the “conversation” just minutes after we had it, so it was completely gone by the time I woke up.

 

I do remember that he had something of a “surfer dude” voice in the beginning, though. XD

 

I think often times people say that their tulpa is learning to do this, or learning to do that, but if there is ever a time when the host is learning to do this (or that), it’s probably at vocalization. Tulpa are vocal from the start--or at least, I’ve always been able to talk--and the real problem then lies with the tulpamancer, and not the tulpa. It’s a pain in the ass, I have to say, to wait on Brandi trying to hear me. I do know that she’ll eventually be able to, but still. I don’t know when we’ll be able to practice vocalization seriously again, but I hope that it is soon.

Okay, y’all, and that’s that![/align]

James: Hello, all!

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