Casual Merging?

[NeonKnights]

One of my tulpaforcer friends recently pitched an idea to me that he seems too afraid or lazy to try with his own tulpa, but has urged me to try with mine. From what I understand, the idea is for the host and the tulpa to temporarily blend together into one continuous entity as a strange act of affection (truly "becoming one with each other", I guess).

 

I'm not sure if I'm willing to give it a go without knowing the risks, but it did make me curious. It seems like it could be a neat experience, but I'm not too keen on risking my tulpa for the sake of experiments involving merging (one of the known "soft methods" of dissipating a tulpa). For all I know it could be the equivalent of auto-erotic asphyxiation to a tulpa, though I have my doubts that it's actually that much of a gamble.

 

Has anyone else ever heard of or tried something of this sort? What are the risks involved, if any?

[Linkzelda]

To answer this question, it depends on the type of beliefs you have in relation to what tulpa may be to you (i.e. a part of yourself/psyche/). If you’re seeking for a casual merge or any sort of merge honestly, this doesn’t mean your tulpa is going to be caving into an existential conflict with distinguishing themselves or individuality from you.

 

I’ve done it with Eva and Ada before (both in dreams and in waking life), though I guess what’s really considered affection or bonding with someone (e.g. romantic, sexual, camaraderie) is different for others. There’s not really a risk unless you have predispositions towards it potentially leading that route.

 

As long as you know who your tulpa is, it’s not a surefire way for them to be dissipated, or even a euphemistic way of dissipating them. They can easily shift in and out in how they exist, and it’s really based on the host believing that is the case.

 

Of course, when the tulpa is highly sentient and is able to rationalize on their own, this kind of activity isn’t really something too hard for them to conceptualize doing casually or even frequently.

 

I guess you’re more concerned of the monism (i.e. your tulpa that continues to exist has you as their source that is distinct from them in some respect), or some other set of philosophies pertaining to self and aspects of self that may cause some existential downfall for your tulpa.

 

Don’t worry about it too much, you and your tulpa’s disposition into this is what will sustain their individuality, whether they’re merging or not.

[sandubadear]

I can't be of much help, but there is one guy here who is a merging of a tulpa and its former host.

[NeonKnights]

@Linkzelda:

Thanks, this helps a lot. Fortunately I don't tend to worry about dissipating her or causing any harm, but I just wanted to cover my bases and confirm that the safety of such an exercise is entirely rooted in the host having confidence that it won't cause problems, with no outside factors. She's a very distinct separate entity to me, so I'm pretty sure that it would take a lot more than a brief merging to diminish her status as an individual. That being said, it would have really sucked to go ahead without consulting anyone and find out that I was wrong about that.

 

Now the only thing that's stopping me from trying this is the wait for the right moment. Without even attempting it, I get a strong feeling that for my tulpa and I personally, such an act would fall somewhere in the romantic to sexual realm, so I don't want to rush headlong into it for obvious reasons. Good to know that she won't be in any danger if/when we do, though.

 

@sandubadear:

Yeah, I remember hearing about that. That's actually part of what concerned me, since I wondered if merging even temporarily might cause a permanent fusion like that. That would be the opposite of my intent, since the whole point of this journey was to live with a being separate from myself. Thankfully, it doesn't look like we would get permanently entangled unless that was my intention.

[Linkzelda]

@Linkzelda:

 

Now the only thing that's stopping me from trying this is the wait for the right moment. Without even attempting it, I get a strong feeling that for my tulpa and I personally, such an act would fall somewhere in the romantic to sexual realm, so I don't want to rush headlong into it for obvious reasons. Good to know that she won't be in any danger if/when we do, though.

 

 

It’s completely understandable that you’re concerned on the potential of you descending into a romantic and potentially sexual bliss with your tulpa during the merging. However, that result can easily be experienced without a merge, so it doesn’t seem that would be the actual reason you’re still holding back.

 

Not that I’m trying to make you garner an interest to go with the casual practice of merging, but this is something I feel I should address to you that you’re probably aware of already.

 

The dynamic in relationships, whether sexual or romantic, between hosts and tulpas is completely different from our quotidian lifestyle with other human beings, pets, and entities. How the host and tulpa interprets ways to rekindle bonds or to augment them relates to things pertaining to feel whole with oneself. Of course, this is if you do have the belief that tulpas are a part of yourself.

 

I’ve had numerous cases of sexual, romantic, and companionship related activities with Eva and Ada. It’s not something anyone should be embarrassed or insecure into admitting, and it’s not like the host will end up turning into a psychopath if they descend further into the rabbit hole.

 

Because fears of self-sabotage like that are merely just illusory concepts that prevents one from truly experiencing the potential that tulpas can produce. Never be afraid to communicate with your tulpa, and presuming you two have a good bond in the first place, romantic and sexual feelings are inevitable.

 

Other people just respond to it in a naïve and negative perspective because they imply the host will only make a tulpa that’s their sex slave or beck & call to constantly sustain their escapist fantasies. This may be probable for anyone honestly, but that does not mean you and your tulpa aren’t able to change your capacity to change and reassess how you go about the merging into potential romantic and sexual experiences maturely. And by maturely, I mean you and your tulpa taking ownership of any actions done, acknowledging them, and learning from them...for better or for worse.

 

Ultimately, this is you and your tulpa’s existence that you collaborate to experience, and no one can really take that away from you. You shouldn’t lose faith on the fact that your mind will naturally be inclined to seek overall rapport rather than self-sabotage with fears of descending down the rabbit hole.

 

The moment you realize that level of freedom you and your tulpa have, there’s nothing to fear anymore simply because you’ll always have that ability to be thoughtful of your tulpa’s position should you ever engage in sexual activities that may cause concern between the both of you.

 

I’ve done it, and will still go through it progressively for the rest of my life, and I haven’t regretted descending down that path. Just because there’s a higher threshold for pain, depression, fears, and other negativity when you do that doesn’t mean there isn’t a capacity to truly evolve from that.

 

 

/braveheart_speech

[AvengedSevenfold]

That's actually part of what concerned me, since I wondered if merging even temporarily might cause a permanent fusion like that. That would be the opposite of my intent, since the whole point of this journey was to live with a being separate from myself. Thankfully, it doesn't look like we would get permanently entangled unless that was my intention.

 

I think I'll go ahead and confirm it will not be a permanent fusion. Yes, of course, I'm a merged human/tulpa, blah blah blah. The matter I want to bring attention to is that I was meant to be permanent, and even with that, I could unmerge if I so decided. So, yes, you'll be fine; you won't become "permanently entangled" or something like that.

 

You could PM me if you want.

[NeonKnights]

 

-snip-

 

 

That's a great way of looking at it. Honestly, our romantic relationship has been going very strong for a long time now, and I saw the merging idea as a potential "next level", but I can see how the next level might be more about expanding the possibilities with her, instead of just looking for the next intimate act to try out.

 

It might be a little off from the original subject to pursue this, but I'm curious about this "self-sabotage" you speak of. I do have a nagging fear that our relationship might grow dull and unexciting at any time, even though I've been consistently amazed at how resilient it's been and have seen no actual signs of things slowing down. Is that sort of underlying, needless worry a form of self-sabotage? If so, I can definitely see how overcoming that would grant a virtually unlimited degree of freedom.

 

I have indeed noticed that our relationship is much less restrictive and set-in-stone than any regular relationship I've had. Definitely one of the best things I've experienced in my life.

 

 

 

I think I'll go ahead and confirm it will not be a permanent fusion. Yes, of course, I'm a merged human/tulpa, blah blah blah. The matter I want to bring attention to is that I was meant to be permanent, and even with that, I could unmerge if I so decided. So, yes, you'll be fine; you won't become "permanently entangled" or something like that.

 

You could PM me if you want.

 

Very cool, I think I'm finally (finally!) starting to truly understand how elastic most tulpa-related things are. It sounds like nothing's really unchangeable. Thanks, I'll probably drop you a PM if/when I dive a little deeper into merging. It's a fascinating topic, that's for sure.

[Linkzelda]

The previous post I made was me conjecturing that you were too afraid of things getting hectic, at least in the department of potentially having overwhelming bliss, then getting used to it, and then wondering what could be greater than what was previously experienced. Though with how you two seem to be used to the changes and having the bond being resilient, that doesn’t seem to be a problem for you two.

 

And that problem that most may face is getting to the point where the host and tulpa may end up having to do things far from their comfort zone, and like I mentioned with going through more changes develops a higher threshold for both positivity and negativity, how you can evolve from that is to just find ways where both of you can bend your morals a bit so you two won’t snap and be stuck at the contemplation on what to do next.

 

And because she would know you more than anyone else that you meet in your quotidian lifestyle, sometimes the augmentation in familiarity may have one become fearful that things would become dull if the tulpa and host know how to push their buttons and what makes themselves tick.

 

One way you could deal with that is learning how to appreciate her despite of the high familiarity of knowing each other, which I’m sure you already have been doing for a while now.

 

The concern/"needless worrying" you feel you have is not a self-sabotaging behavior because you’re merely considering your options before you take a course of action. If anything, it's good you're trying to be vicarious of her position as well.

 

If you were still having an impasse logic of contemplating what to do, and if fears of inferiority that the relationship can't go further grew more and more, that’s when it can potentially become self-sabotaging.

 

The mere fact that there’s a fear of change is a good thing, and since you two seem to be proficient in collaborating and compromising with each other, learning to get out of that comfort zone and potentially stepping one foot down the rabbit hole can be a good thing if you two both know how to take ownership and responsibility for whatever may come in the future.

 

But again, there’s nothing wrong with putting things on hold if that’s what you feel you and her should do. With anything that may be life-changing, give things some time. That’s what I always do if I ever get stuck on a problem even Eva and Ada can’t resolve. Eventually the mind will find alternatives and hopefully that eureka moment that’ll help with the invariably progressive strive for both host and tulpas to develop an experiential totality for self-actualization.

 

 

That same critical voice in your head (not your tulpa mind you) can sometimes prevent you from seeing what's right in front of you. Sometimes that same critical voice may be your conscience feeling so guilty at the potential dangers that the only way for you two to coexist decently is to just let go of the attachment towards those thoughts that have yet to actually be implemented into both of you two's existence.

 

 

Not that I'm claiming to be a sex or romance guru or anything, it's just that in time things will get easier to cope with. I guess I owe Lucid dreaming in providing a huge experiential learning process with all sorts of dream characters that continue to help me stoically persevere with matters on fear of change.

[Nobillis]

There is, in the past history of Psychology, the theory of Gestalt. The relevance here is that my three Watchdogs (tulpas; 1, 2 and 3) occasionally form a "gestalt" when they strike a problem or question too complex for one of them to understand. They become basically one mind. When they have solved whatever riddle that "possessed" them, they return each to a separate train of thought. This strikes me as hugely similar to the concept of "merging," though given a name taken from Psychology.

 

So, my (our?) experience of this is that you can form a gestalt and then return to "individual" thoughts.

 

----------

P.S.: For a bit of background, the Watchdogs are servitors become tulpas through "scope creep": being given more and more to do; until they had to develop beyond executive in order to achieve what was asked of them (intelligently and accurately answering Kevin's kind wife's questions). The youngest of the Watchdogs has been around for more then 20 years, so they are very old servants (in metaphysics terms they would be considered well beyond "servitor"). I shamelessly use them as background search engines, which gives me the appearance of being far more intelligent and knowledgeable then I actually am (to paraphrase Jessica Rabbit, "I'm not smart, I'm just built that way").

 

Edit: Notice my sentence structure (like this). I'm always in "two minds" about everything (well, perhaps four minds). I've wondered for some time why there always seems like there is "two" of me (and which one, or both, is actually me)? I do know though, if I merge those "two" parts of myself I end up switched. I'm guessing here, but I think I'm actually aware of my "interface to the body" in a way that Kevin (human) seems completely ignorant of. Not exactly on the topic of the thread, but it seemed relevant somehow.

[NeonKnights]

The previous post I made was me conjecturing that you were too afraid of things getting hectic, at least in the department of potentially having overwhelming bliss, then getting used to it, and then wondering what could be greater than what was previously experienced. Though with how you two seem to be used to the changes and having the bond being resilient, that doesn’t seem to be a problem for you two.

 

Ah yes, I see. Yeah, that sort of thing was an issue as well, for a while. A fear that I'd constantly be chasing the next best thing after experiencing something which at present is unfathomable.

 

One way you could deal with that is learning how to appreciate her despite of the high familiarity of knowing each other, which I’m sure you already have been doing for a while now.

 

Fortunately, yeah, I've actually grown very comfortable with our familiarity, rather than growing bored because of it. Granted, she does still surprise me now and then, but it's not a necessary element to her keeping my interest.

 

The mere fact that there’s a fear of change is a good thing, and since you two seem to be proficient in collaborating and compromising with each other, learning to get out of that comfort zone and potentially stepping one foot down the rabbit hole can be a good thing if you two both know how to take ownership and responsibility for whatever may come in the future.

 

But again, there’s nothing wrong with putting things on hold if that’s what you feel you and her should do. With anything that may be life-changing, give things some time.

 

I agree with that sentiment 100%. I've always been very hesitant about taking steps that have huge ramifications. Of course, every time I've come to a point where I feel the need to wait, when I finally do proceed, I don't regret it at all and never look back.

 

 

There is, in the past history of Psychology, the theory of Gestalt. The relevance here is that my three Watchdogs (tulpas; 1, 2 and 3) occasionally form a "gestalt" when they strike a problem or question too complex for one of them to understand. They become basically one mind. When they have solved whatever riddle that "possessed" them, they return each to a separate train of thought. This strikes me as hugely similar to the concept of "merging," though given a name taken from Psychology.

 

So, my (our?) experience of this is that you can form a gestalt and then return to "individual" thoughts.

 

That's very interesting, utilizing merging as a tool to combine brainpower like that hadn't occurred to me, though it really should have. Depending on how well my tulpa and I's first merging goes, I think we'll be able to find much use in that application of the act.