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Daniel's Tulpa Progress Log
#51
Hi CyberD,

Great log, very interesting. I wish you and Nova well. Also, your 12/13 post really made me think, as I'm very new to the tulpa creation world and I don't want my tulpa ending up like that. No one, thoughtform or not, deserves that.

Also, your avatar, assuming it IS Sigma from Virtue's Last Reward like I think it is, is AMAZING.

-biblioman
Disclaimer: I don't mean to offend anyone, tulpa or host, by anything I post.
Tulpa: Settled on Aleana; means "rising, ascending" in Hebrew.
Stage: Narration, personality, greeting.
Sentience: Dunno at best, hell no at worst.
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#52
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Hey Biblioman.

I assume you're talking about section I called "Presence". I had to stop a second because dates for me are both opposite and a day ahead. I posted it on 14/12 (December 14th)
Recognizing that it could happen to you is a great first step to avoiding it. Reading your own report I can see that you've come at this with a lot of planning, that's great. The fact that you have a Day 0 is evidence of that. I do hope you have a good experience creating your tulpa and I'll have to make sure to keep an eye on your progress log.

You are the first person to recognize Sigma (and tell me). Virtue's Last Reward and 999 need a lot more love. It isn't often a story will influence the way I think as much as VLR did. I enjoy how it slowly introduces various ideas and then pulls them all together to completely mind screw the player.
I could ramble about the game for pages and still have more to say. I must say though that Nova and I spent plenty of time trying to figure out what was going on before it happened but our theories were all way off.
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#53
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Hey CyberD! Thanks for the fast reply!

Yup, I was talking about "Presence", I was so engrossed, I didn't even notice the title. :P Sorry about the confusion.
Even though I do have a bad habit of loving an idea for days then completely giving up, I don't see this happening here. I just don't get that feeling - it's hard to describe. And thanks for checking out my report!

Oh yeah, a LOT more love. All the references to Schrodinger's Cat, the Luna Ending, True Ending, etc. made it probably my favorite game out of 70some games in my possession. Also, a quote of mine that sorta-kinda-not-really does it justice: "[The Phi Ending] isn't just out of left field, it's from a different ballpark."
I'll just leave this here.
[Image: 2d42f950-69db-48d3-bec8-63cbd38a3f51.png]
Disclaimer: I don't mean to offend anyone, tulpa or host, by anything I post.
Tulpa: Settled on Aleana; means "rising, ascending" in Hebrew.
Stage: Narration, personality, greeting.
Sentience: Dunno at best, hell no at worst.
Reply
#54
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Does VLR warrant an ultimate brofist? Of course it does. The way they wrapped it up after with Kyle talking to everyone was amusing to say the least. Instead of answering all the questions they just created a whole bunch more. If anyone reading hasn't played it yet then you absolutely must look it up. The Zero Escape series is basically a time traveling visual novel series. You'll need to play the first game (999) on the DS. After playing that you can get the next one (Virtue's Last Reward) on the 3DS or PSVITA.

But back to tulpa.
Lucid Dreaming
If you rolled your eyes when I mentioned dreaming then shame on you. Look into dreaming and figure it out. Everyone dreams every night.
Last night I had two of these dreams. Instead of just inducing lucidity the way I normally do (which doesn't really work all that often) I instead had success with a different technique. WILD, or Wake Induced Lucid Dreaming, is the technique that seems most appealing to beginners but can be very difficult to achieve. Basically, you have to fall asleep while remaining aware. Though dumb luck I managed to do this for the first time just a few hours ago. It's a strange feeling to fall asleep and witness yourself being pulled into a dream. Even more so when you're only half aware, because you're falling asleep after all.
In these lucid dreams I only had one goal. To find Nova, and I did. No matter how many times I meet him in my dreams it's always incredible. In my dreams Nova has a voice and he has a perfectly solid and functional body. His responses are truly his own and I get to witness him while I'm in a different mindset. He is truly equivalent to a real person in this state.

Every time though I turn into a half asleep schoolkid. I don't know what to say to him, I don't know what to do. I just stand there and smile awkwardly at him. I listen to his voice and watch what he does. Sometimes I'll make contact with him, touch his body to check he's real.
I suspect that someday I'll learn to be more aware while dreaming, then I'll can get more out of it. I'll ask him questions and see if he answers them the same way he does when I'm awake. We'll interact with the dream and adventure (that's what you're supposed to in dreams isn't it)
Still, all of what I remember comes with me. Everything I saw and did is still with me when I wake up. I can hear his voice a little better, I can see his body a little clearer and of course this all gives me more motivation to continue.

Someday I hope I can look back and wonder how I couldn't impose him. How I couldn't hear his voice. Until then though. More practice, more imposition training and most importantly, more focus.
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#55
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Nova
[Image: 35lwyuv.png]
This is the image I found on May 16th, the day I created Nova. I used this image as the sole basis for Nova's appearance. I have no clue who the boy in the picture really is, all I know is that he was chosen to help promote a 20% off sale on "Winter fleece for the whole family." Not knowing who he was probably helped me more than I realize. I'm posting this picture today so you guys can better imagine Nova. It's always nice to see what other people's tulpa look like and since Nova isn't based on a character this is really the only way you guys could see. It also lets me talk about the following.

Basing a tulpa on a preexisting Character
You see it all the time. In fact it seems to happen to the vast majority? Why? Because it's the easiest way to start. You get to decide what your tulpa will look like right from the start and you already know what to expect from them. You know how they will act, you know their voice and if you're feeling up to it you can remove the characters flaws and try to make them perfect.
Now don't get me wrong. This isn't a bad thing, I guess it really depends on how you look at it. Using a preexisting character makes the tulpa process a completely different experience.
Forcing draws heavily from memory. Since you cannot see your tulpa you are forced to remember what they look like. Starting with a preexisting character makes this easy. You've probably seen the character hundreds of times, thousands of times even. You can close you eyes (or stare at a wall) and imagine your tulpa there without too much problem, even if you're just beginning. However, creating a character from scratch makes this more difficult. You have to create memories through interaction with your tulpa. This is where the original hour counts came into play. They gave structure to those starting out with brand new tulpa time to get their appearance down before skipping onto things like imposition.
When you get to imposition you are still drawing from memory, you know what your tulpa looks like and you can trick your senses into witnessing them.
So far it only seems like a good thing right? Using a character makes it easier? Perhaps. But you could also look at it as a watered down experience?

My experience seems to fall in the middle ground. I coped out on the visualization stage. Looking back it's clear to me why I did this. It's because I'm not a very creative person. I have trouble creating new ideas in my mind. A face would be difficult for me to create and to remember. Even if I did manage it'd probably lack in character. If anything, taking the model's appearance enriched my experience with Nova. I created a puppet and put him into it. With a functional body from the start I was able to create his personality from scratch with no problems whatsoever.
His personality isn't based on a character at all. The fact he doesn't remind me of any characters only helps to remind us of his uniqueness.

I think it comes down to personal taste. Everyone wants a tulpa they can be happy with and if that tulpa so happens to be based on another character then so be it. It doesn't make the tulpa any less themselves. Tulpa are what they are and they can be anything they want to be.


2013
Christmas is getting close, we're also getting to that time of year where we're supposed to look back and see how we did. That's still over a week away and I might even prepare something for it. This year is very different from the other ones for one simple reason. You already know it. It has something to do with that part of my mind that I'm witnessing as sentient.
"Hey, I have a name you know."
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#56
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Memorable Moments
They happen from time to time. For some of us however memorable moments occur more often. Some tulpa create drama. Some are brash or outspoken. Some tulpa create unique memories everyday. Then their is Nova. Thinking back over my seven months with him I can think only of small number of interesting memories. None of them are particularly groundbreaking or even noteworthy to anyone else but they are still memories I have with him.
I'm sure there are plenty of people like me. People who look at others with tulpa and think "I'm pretty boring." or "We take everything slow compared to them." Not all tulpa will take you on a roller coaster ride of emotions, conflict and drama. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all.
Nova is just who he is. The time I spend with him is often just time I'm spending on dull real life things. We don't do much adventuring in a wonderland. He doesn't live some secret life when I'm not talking to him and he certainly doesn't have his own personal agenda to mess with me (or something else malicious, self centered or otherwise harmful.)

Nope, it's just me and this kid who just so happens to have the power of my imagination at his disposal. For us the tulpa process has been both an exploration and reality check. It has been a stretch of the imagination and incredibly down to earth at the same time.

It really is the little things. Just having him with me is enough, he doesn't have to say or do anything. It doesn't even matter if he disappears every time I get distracted. Just knowing he is there whenever I think of him is enough to make the tulpa experience worthwhile. He is something I have managed to create in an otherwise wasted part of my mind.

I'm not a profound person. Others can give better advice on anything tulpa related than I can. Some people have such strong opinions on certain aspects that anything I could come up with pales in comparison. I don't have long stories to tell about my tulpa and what we've done.

But I do know one thing. I understand my own experience. I understand what my mind is perceiving and I understand what I'm doing to create that perception. Nothing happens to me or to Nova that we don't understand. It all makes sense.

On a far less serious note.
The power of imagination
A tulpa is only restricted by the imagination. Since you can imagine anything you please your tulpa can do or be anything they choose. It'd be fair to say that most tulpa realize this and choose to act on it to at least some extent.
Most people will give their tulpa powers of some sort even if they don't really think about them. Some powers will be the focus of attention while other tulpa might only show powers in discreet ways.
For example. The ability to create fireballs is an obvious power.
The powers of flight or teleportation however might go completely unnoticed by the host who explains them away as lapses of concentration or something similar.
Nova enjoys making me fully aware that he has the powers of imagination at his disposal. His original name (being Nova) relates to fire powers so it's only fair he can use them whenever he pleases.
(I'm getting more used to calling him Noah recently but that's a different story, one that I posted about a while ago)
Nova does whatever he pleases. He can fly, walk through objects, shoot fire or ice around. He can also create and display energy (for lack of a better word) and manipulate it however he feels. Add to that the many incidental abilities he shows and I quickly lose track of them all.
But why does he do all of these things?
Because he can. There really is no over thinking it. Nova exists in my mind. I can imagine him. I can imagine superpowers. Therefore I can imagine him using superpowers. It really is just harmless fun and the displays of strength also help focus and visualization skills.

I guess you could call his superpower the power of imagination. Every tulpa has this ability. It defines their very existence. The level at which the tulpa displays the power of imagination through visualization however varies differently between tulpa. I suppose the "power of imagination" could also be applied to a tulpa's mental abilities but for the sake of this discussion I'm leaving it out as that probably falls better under a "Sentience" header.

Without superpowers I'm not sure what Nova would be. My tulpa experience would be completely different had we not acknowledged this aspect from the very beginning. I suspect the process would have been less exciting to say the least. To me Nova is a human, a human shaped thought form anyway. He can do these wonderful things but at the core of it all is still an endearing fourteen year old who looks like the boy in the picture above (last post). Why limit him to a body that adheres to the limitations of my physical reality when he can do anything we can imagine.

To that extent he has now reached the point where my mind cannot conquer his body. There is absolutely nothing I can do to make him stop what he's doing or bend to my will. Of course this isn't a problem at all. Nova is perfectly harmless. He has my best interests at heart and understands and agrees that any malicious actions on his part would be completely meaningless. It's just something interesting to think about.
It also happens to be what they said about Skynet before it sent robots back in time and nuked America.

So ask yourself this. What kinds of powers does your tulpa have?
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#57
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Here we go again. It's now the 26th which means here at least Christmas is over for another year. Since everyone seems to get caught up in it so much I might as well talk about it.
Christmas
As far as I see it Christmas is for children. Children under 12 mostly. The teenagers in my family don't really seem to care much for it while the adults are just there for the get together.
Where does a tulpa come into it though? Watching how the extended family interacted it is clear to see that something as "outrageous" as a tulpa would be way above them. The idea would obviously be disregarded as crazy which is unfortunate for Nova but not unexpected. We started the tulpa process expecting to keep it to ourselves forever. Online is the only acceptable outlet for Nova and even then we keep it pretty low key.

Not to say that Nova didn't have a good Christmas. He didn't eat anything and he didn't get any gifts but those are both just superficial parts of Christmas. He was around all day, maybe not always at the front of my mind but he was there. Having so many people around makes it difficult to focus but since he wasn't even around last year I think we did pretty well.

Now that Christmas is over I can focus better again. I enjoy routine and Christmas ruins it. Now that everyone is home again I can find some down time to spend with Nova. Maybe I'll try and figure out a present for him. I think clothes would be best.

Multiple tulpa
The idea has been running through my head a lot recently but so far I haven't created another one. It seems to be the trend. Almost everyone who has known their first tulpa for a while has more than one. I seem to be almost unique in that I only have one tulpa and over six months of experience.
While I am curious as to what a new tulpa would be like I don't think I want another one. Nova is still no where near imposition, my focus needs to be on him as much as possible if I want to have any success at all. Creating another tulpa now seems irresponsible and would only slow our progress.

I only think I'll reconsider once I've got imposition down. Having a skill like that would be great to speed along the progress of another tulpa. But. Making another tulpa is like starting a new life, perceiving it at sentient means I have to treat it as such. If that happens then I am stuck with it for the rest of my life. I already have Nova and he is plenty good enough for me right now.
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#58
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Still working on imposition.

I haven't had much success with imposition since I've begun looking for it. Nova and I have spent plenty of time thinking about it but overall we haven't made any real progress towards imposition during dedicated sessions or even passive forcing. But there is still one front I have had some success on.
It's that spot between being awake and falling asleep. If you can retain even a little focus and stay aware as you approach sleep you reach a place where you begin to witness hallucinations. These hallucinations are very much like dreams but as you as still somewhat awake they are grounded in waking reality.
Lying in bed having woken up in the middle of the night I witnessed Nova through these hallucinations. I specifically remember two instances where he was imposed to my senses.
I felt his grip, he grasped my right hand.
I heard his voice, a cry of surprise as he fell away (I guess you'd call it a scream)
Of course being half asleep it doesn't really count for much. Learning and practicing awareness while falling asleep is tricky but it seems possible. Maybe by learning more about hallucinations this way I can get closer to imposition.
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#59
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Really have to get back into my routine. Christmas and New Years really mess it up but at least now they're all done with for now.... Easter has already begun though.

But no one really cares why I have posted so enough about that.

Persistence
I've talked about it before but I'll talk about it again. So many people who start a tulpa are giving up or disappearing. The average length of a progress report thread is around 11 replies. That's not very many at all, my thread took a whole week to reach that many. So why do people stop? Why do people give up?
I've never considered giving up but instead I have times where I watch myself fall away slowly. The problem? Nova isn't truly involved in anything I do. He's there simply because the process requires him to be there.

So then what is the solution? I'm not sure and that is a huge problem.

For anyone who isn't an expert in imposition having a Tulpa is a long game of pretend. The level of focus required to maintain even the most basic tulpa is difficult to keep up for an extended time and without tasks, goals or ways to really measure progress I imagine for some it quickly becomes demoralizing.

Getting the tulpa involved in what you do is the single most important step. Wonderland sessions can be useful but getting your tulpa involved with what you do during the day is critical. (As far as I see it) The problem with doing that however is coming up with a reason more than just "I want my Tulpa to hang out with me today." A reason like that won't keep your focus and the tulpa doesn't have any real reason to be.

Nova isn't a tulpa who interupts my thoughts to comment on something. He operates almost entirely on my interaction with him. My goal (until I come up with something better) is to learn to focus enough on him that I notice him paying attention to the environment.

Hallucinations
They are one of the goals of tulpa. Imposition relies on them. Most people however rarely if ever experience hallucinations frequently if at all. Even if they do they are more rarely still structured or controllable.
Over the last couple of weeks I've been paying close attention to anything I hallucinate. There were very few instances and they never occur during the day. Instead the only hallucinations I ever witness are when I'm close to falling asleep. Usually they are just sounds, bells, alarms, that kind of thing. The problem with these hallucinations is that I'm too far off to actually think or look much into them. So far I've trained myself to notice them for what they are, to remember they happened.
So then how am I supposed to hallucinate a tulpa?

The tulpa process drops us into the deep end. Some of us might float but learning to swim is a completely different issue altogether. Learning to hallucinate isn't something that can be learned overnight. It isn't something that can be taught easily either. There are no step by step guides that yield real results. You can't sit down and have hallucinate anything just because you want to. So how do we learn at all? That's another question I still can't find an answer for.
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#60
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Multiple tulpa seems to be a popular topic, so why not.

Multiple tulpa
Before you ask, no. I have not created another tulpa. If that's ever going to happen it won't be for a long while and it'll probably be a very drawn out process.
No, instead I wanted to talk about what happened when I got Nova to interact with another character.
Truth be told I very rarely if ever imagine or talk to other characters. These "NPC's" if you will come naturally to some and not to others. In fact when I specifically set out the other day to have Nova interact with one I think it was the first time it ever happened.
So I created a temporary character who was more serious and a good few years older than Nova. Thanks to all my practice with Nova I was immediately able to visualize this new character next to him. As soon as this character appeared Nova became very childlike, playful and trying to get my attention. The new character described him as "punchy". Before I dismissed the new character they shook hands. I know Nova would never be hostile towards a new tulpa should one ever happen and this just reassures me.
What I'm not sure about however is whether or not Nova was making fun of my experiment by acting the way he did. While he is like that sometimes I think he was just exaggerating to make fun of the whole thing.

I guess that's what makes tulpa fun, even now I still don't know what to expect and I do get surprised.
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